The Narrowing Darkness

The night was still and cold,

her curly locks were as yellow as gold,

hearing faint calls, once bold,

a campfire died very slow,

behind an oak tree a century old,

then a thin laughter filled the air,

as it filled her with fear,

a thin spirit smiling from a far,

a bit of white still visible

narrowing the dark’s dawn,

then gone,

giving her just enough room,

as she turned towards the moon,

a shadow stood next to her,

in a dark drape,

almost like a devil’s cape,

with a monstrous shape,

carrying a slightly nauseating smell,

standing near the dark gates of hell,

her thoughts streaming,

her inner mind screaming,

her features delicately chiseled

and gleaming,

she then fell to her knees,

and started praying,

her blood and flesh began decaying,

then the shadow put his hands

on her tappered hips,

and blood began foaming on her lips,

the narrow darkness had something to teach,

as the angels above started to preach,

then the shadow started receding,

like water leaving the clean swept beach.

© 2011 Frank Atanacio

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Comments 18 comments

Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal

Its a dark night in Kathmandu, I'm listening to Pink Floyd and I have just read your poetry.

Senoritaa profile image

Senoritaa 5 years ago


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 5 years ago

nice one Frankie! Hope you get something from the contest. Angels and beaches, preachers and BIT...noo i meant say over the rainbow and bridges! Glad to know Frank is a great poet too. keep writing my friend!


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september girl 5 years ago

Good but scary. : ) Not sure what to make of it, as it is haunting and dauntingly well done!

tobzyjen81 profile image

tobzyjen81 5 years ago from lafayette , alabama

This poem had me on the edge of my seat. It's really good.

Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

Eerie and excellent! Good luck with the contest!

Seeker7 profile image

Seeker7 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

This is one of the best supernatural poems I have read. You create a wonderuful tension and anticipation that was awesome! But it also has beauty within it's depths. A truly remarkable poem.

I really loved this piece of work and have bookmarked as a favourite! Voted up + awesome!

Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks for reading Seeker7 sunshine, tobyz, Vin, and seboritaa bless you all :) September, Lord

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lovedoctor926 4 years ago

I like the imagery of the shadow putting his hands on her hips. that is original. voted up! Fantastic Frank:)

Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks so much doc.. :)

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Vincent Moore 4 years ago

I think I won't be lighting campfires near any old oak trees, especially if they are close to a cemetary. This was chilling and melting as I felt her disolve into the nether world of Hell. The grim reaper was reaping by the looks of it under the moonlight, watch out for those shadows and keep looking over our shoulder and run like the blazes if we feel him close. Well done my poet, bravo. Voted up and shared.

Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Thanks my fellow poet bless you for stopping by :)

Cara.R profile image

Cara.R 4 years ago from New York

Hi Frank,

You always amaze me! I couldn't help but read this with a tune in my head, I think it would make for a great heavy metal song!

Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

lol oh yeah? LOL thanks Cara

acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 4 years ago from Guildford

Gosh such a scary read before I go to bed! Great write though as always.

Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you acaetnna for reading my narrowing darkness...:)

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Phoebe Pike 3 years ago

Frank, you surely have been blessed with a rare gift... never stop writing. The world would be less beautiful without your work.

Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

aaawww that was sweet :)

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