The Perfect Storm

The clouds, distinctly edged,

by moonlight, sweeping in,

rolling waves of omens,

ignite the fears of men....



...Jagged, streaking lightning,

of silver, laced with white...

tainted, dark expanses

of sky, before your eyes....


...Mystic might, malicious

in appearance, in intent,

distinctly vivid flashes

electric static scent...



...Vast stretches of onyx,

smeared by crimson shades,

threaten desecration

of cherished, peaceful days...



...Mastery of senses,

too great to comprehend,

the perfect storm approaches

as acid rain descends...



© copyright Ben D.A 2011

Comments 23 comments

BeyondMax profile image

BeyondMax 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

I felt emotionally electrified, really beautiful and inspiring, Ben! Energizing. Yep, that's the word.


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

Awesome Benny with great pics and video too. The video just scared the crap out of my one cat who is laying against my laptop, ha, poor Punkin.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Rev - congratulations on having written a poem. That's pretty impressive. We've all done that a time or two. And I'm glad you're an anonymous "professional" writer, which must give you the right to be a dick.


Rev 5 years ago

Learn to take criticism. Do not dismiss it because it's "anonymous". Even if you knew my real name I'd still be a faceless person on the other side of a computer screen. I don't have a "hub" because I'm an actual, professional writer who's been published many times over the past 15 years. Just for you, here's one of my older poems.

-Note Theory-

Math can render speech awful;

going through formulas can break

binary waves upon beaches formed from nights

loaded with pauses, entries between -

rock stars pointing at the boy dozing at the edge of the club.

With an intention borrowed from library texts,

black shirt and grey hair imitate life

in a dance none too surprising, more accustomed to

following random whim or chance; speaking

in tongues heavy with squares of LSD

on the outskirts of an Orlando downtown which is saturated

and, too, weighted,

by the air itself, every individual wondering

where the story begins.

They gather in dances; they live with brass expectations;

they drive themselves crazy on roads and moments.

Forgetting the concrete reality of the city, they meet

in black screens, huddled

in rooms piled with dirty clothes

with clean fingernails.

And this city, if it sleeps, does so in fits.

Grown around abandoned playgrounds,

carried through the night on the whisper of youth,

viewed with such joy that the lights go out,

and the blinking motion of an eyelash would be nothing less

than a treasure.

Over and through you I've written these words,

to land in your mind

like wartime sparrows.


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

Another naturalistic sensory of words Ben.;)


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

thank you chspublish :]

tnder - immensely is always good :D


tnderhrt23 5 years ago

I enjoyed this poem immensely!Intense, vivid and flowing. Nicely done, Ben!


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland

The power of nature captured within the power of your words. Thanks for sharing your gift.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Right on, Wayne! Haha, well, I hope I rise to greatness, after I'm six feet under :D

I appreciate that comment, thank you


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas

Ben, I read it twice and found nothing within this work that I would call "deeply entrenched cliches". Perhaps "The Rev" needs to enlighten us as to where and when his/her career as a writer hit such heights as to even suggest such criticism. Frankly , I don't know any writer of substance who would stoop to such commentary. Besides, we know that all the great poets are the dead ones. You just keep doing your thing. WB


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

I wouldn't dream of letting some smart ass anonymous hater shoot me down :D lol


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

Ben the REV wasn't the caliber of traffic I intended to send your way, where did he slither out from under, must be bored on a Saturday night, figured let's go in and shoot down a few poets. NADA..doesn't work. and your welcome, I put a good word out for a fellow Poet.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

oh, and also, sorry mckbird, I accidentally left you out!

thank you for your visit and comment!! :]


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

thanks, saddle...

easy to be an asshole, when you're anonymous, isn't it? haha

Thanks for sending some traffic my way, it's helped :]


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

Here here young Ben, that's telling him:0) gotta luv these characters who come in and leave a rant, don't identify themselves, don't have any hubs, yet come in and criticize. Don't let the REV get to ya, he's a spill over from the forum, can't secure an audience in there so has to come into a hub and shoot it down. Gotta love those BOTS.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

qudsia - thank you again for your kind words, and yes, I love those two words, but in this poem's case, it was because I had to use them for a contest. :]

cardisa - thank you for the visit and comment :] and yes, inner turmoil can be compared to that haha

willstarr - thank you very much for that :]


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Oh, and also, I wrote this poem for a contest that required me to utilize certain words, perhaps those were the "cliches".


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

rev - I'll dignify your ridiculous comment with this response:

It's pretty obvious that my fan base is FAR FROM "emo-tinged" girls...I have been supported by many other groups of people since I started on here.

If you'd like to point out my cliches in a constructive way, feel free...otherwise, "grasshopper", keep your insulting opinions to yourself.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Very good, Ben! Wow! Up, and everything but funny!


Rev 5 years ago

If you'd like to approach writing from the standpoint of actually getting published, you'll need to get away from the habit of using such deeply entrenched clichés in your poetry. If you're content to have your audience limited to emo-tinged girls who think you're cute and that the True Blood novels are decent literature, don't change a thing. It's your call, grasshopper.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

BenWritings. Apocalyptic imagery and ample metaphor.


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 years ago from Jamaica

Our inner turmoil also brings such storms into our lives. Sometimes the storms come from the core of our beings, to burst forth as our sorrows spew outwards to release our pent up woes.


QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 5 years ago

Wonderfully done Ben.

The lightening and thunder effect made it even more surreal.

I believe you have a certain attachment with the words 'onyx' and 'crimson'. I see them often in your poems; still you do them justice as well.

Do stop by my hubs if you have the time sometime. :)

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