The Playtex Cycling Team

Bob Cutler and Nick Dolby-Two of the Founding Fathers-Playtex Cycling Team
Bob Cutler and Nick Dolby-Two of the Founding Fathers-Playtex Cycling Team

They are the Playtex Cycling Team

They certainly are an unusual sort.

The oddest thing about them is,

They have no visible means of support.

They are the Playtex Cycling Team.

Some need some time to get up some steam.

There are elderly dears with sagging brassieres.

With their ancient old farts with weakened hearts.

Some are becoming an old cliché.

They’re losing their hair or turning gray.

In no time at all these guys “hit the wall”,

Even if they overdose on their Geritol.

None are homosexual or that’s what they say.

But all know some guy they call Ben Gay.

They don’t smoke but they all seem to have a little pot.

Their hair’s getting thinner but their bodies are not.

They take special care to protect their rear ends.

They’re looking for cycling shorts made by Depends.

They can’t talk about Niagara without talking about Viagra.

They talk about their bi-passes or upgrading their glasses.

They’re a bunch of cycling old timers talking about Alzheimers.

They talk of all their trips and slips and even broken hips.

I guess before all their money is spent,

They’ll find where their get-up-and-go has went.

Just A Couple OF Cute Young Girls Here!
Just A Couple OF Cute Young Girls Here!

What is their goal? What do they seek?

Why aren’t they working in the middle of the week?

I’ve seen these folk in all kinds of events,

Cycling across states and sleeping in tents.

Each seems to have a ten thousand dollar bike.

They’ve never seen a Cracker Barrel they didn’t like.

Some have no idea where they put their libido,

But they’re first to the bathroom wherever they go.

Under the helmets are hair extensions.

I’d say most are living on pensions.

They look so wise and full of knowledge.

Most of their children are out of college.

Surely they cannot be what they seem.

What mostly defines this Playtex Cycling Team?

While Playtex implies that they’re crossing their hearts,

But I see old men who have lost control of their farts.

They’re really a scream living a dream.

They’re called the Playtex Cycling Team.

I can’t think of anything left to report.

They simply have no visible means of support.

The ladies that are in the pictures are really not old enough to be on the Playtex Cycling Team.

Another Cute Young Chick!
Another Cute Young Chick!

These pictures were taken on 3-10-10.

Carolina Tarwheels

Union Grove to Saxapahaw

More by this Author


Comments 38 comments

Rossimobis profile image

Rossimobis 6 years ago from Biafra

"They look so wise and full of knowledge."How i wish to be like them.Great hub once again.


Ghost Whisper 77 profile image

Ghost Whisper 77 6 years ago from The U.S. Government protects Nazi War Criminals

Hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Tooooooooo funnnneeeeeeeeeee!

overdose on their Geritol...cycling shorts made by Depends...lost control of their farts....hhhaaaaaaaaaaa I think I just accidentally tooted laughing so hard! (that does happen time to time! he he he) Yikes--I better go--I am giving away my secrets...

Funny! Thanks for the great laughs--and that is you in the right side of the picture yes? The beard gives it away...do lil kids think you are Skinny SantaClaus? If you are Santa can you please tell me--I have an order I would like to give you...


LeonJane profile image

LeonJane 6 years ago from Australia

Great poem, and commentary pictures to boot!


Freya Cesare profile image

Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

Even this is good, but kind of ..... hmm.... I hope these senior don't get angry when they read this.


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 6 years ago from Arizona

Mick, that's too good, 'til you laid down the line about cross your heart I was on the thought of something else that ended in tex, don't know why I guess I lost my flare for commercials when I found out there was more to life than television, you know the part about bitching about 3 minutes of show and 10 minutes of commercials, then I told myself what I'd have said to somebody else "feel free to turn the dang thing off" so I did. It felt strange actually doing something else at first.

I recognized you straight away even though you were looking away, it had to be the beard 'cuz I didn't think to check you for boobs 'til I figured out the story line, so now you need to hit the bench for some press work or quit wearing the playtex 'cuz your boob is showing and don't say it's your radio 'cuz like me your wearing hearing aids. Jes poking fun at you I enjoyed the hub....... dust aka dirt clod


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Thanks again Rossimobis. Thanks for stopping and commenting.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Hey Ghost. Thank you for enjoying this. Yep- that's me. I held the camera out with my left hand and that pic came out about perfect for me. I took another to get the guys on the other side. I take all the pictures that you'll see her except the obvious ones (posters, pics of me impossible to take). Thanks for having fun with this!


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

LeonJane- Thank you very much. TC


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Hi Freya. I'd better put some "disclaimers" up there. Thanks


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Dusty Dude! Thanks for noticing my boobs. My eyes are up here! You men! I don't need a hearing aid nor glasses either! Sometimes I see and hear things that ain't even there! Thanks for stopping by "Jarhead"!


BkCreative profile image

BkCreative 6 years ago from Brooklyn, New York City

This is quite brilliant you know, to do poetry - with pictures! And I like the 'no visible means of support' right up there with "Playtex" - fun stuff!

This looks like a lot of good clean fun. Thanks for this hub!


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 6 years ago from Arizona

I resemble that remark! you stinkin' Red Leg just think of what you coulda dun if they woulda let you play with a real cannon instead of one that fits in a shoulder holster! hahaha


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Thank you BkCreative. I'm just a duffer. I do enjoy it though. Thank you!


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Dusty Dude- you do resemble that remark! You know the USMC let me play with that 106. That reminds me of either a McGiver or A Team show and I think it was A Team- there is an episode where a guy is firing a LAAW from the side door of a van. In real life it would have gotten really hot in there. Those LAAWs were recoiless too. You know they had that back-blast. That van would have been cooked. You probably didn't watch that. I know you gave up TV really early. I didn't watch much of that either but I was baby sitting my mother, I think, when I saw that. Semper Fi yamotorcyclehippyfreak!


Mekenzie profile image

Mekenzie 6 years ago from Michigan

MickyDee, is there no end to your creativity? I really laughed and got such a BIG kick out of this hub. The pictures are terrific! Looks like you've got a great group of comrades to keep on keeping on with. I loved what you wrote here:

"There are elderly dears with sagging brassieres. With their ancient old farts with weakened hearts"

So so funny - I LOVE your sense of humor .. you are definately a bright spot here on the hubs! Go Brother Micky!


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Thank you Mekenzie. One of my teachers in high-school said I had a warped sense of humor. I think she was right. Thank you Mekenzie- very much.


Brynda 6 years ago

At least those teachers were paying attention to you! I'm so glad you aren't one of the Playtex team..I guess it's because you still have a college age daughter! I think you are preserving your body pretty well, too.

Still amazed..


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Brynda in more ways than not- I feel better than I did years ago. I can still get the nerve pain from the neck down the arms. I can get the pain in the hip and down the right leg but I'm not on hydrocodone. My riding may be better than it has been. My health is more easily managed. Thanks for dropping by!


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 6 years ago from Great Britain

Hilarious and brilliant. You made my day and maybe tomorrow as well, 'cos I'll still be laughing. x


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Oh Dim- that makes me feel so good. I'm glad you like this! Thank you Dear!


theherbivorehippi profile image

theherbivorehippi 6 years ago from Holly, MI

This hub is fabulous! Informative and entertaining! Love it. Made me really want to go for a ride that's for sure!


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Thank you herbivorehippi. I wish I could see that tat on your back. I'd better go dig into your hubs and see if there is an enlargement. Thank you Ma'am!


MFB III profile image

MFB III 6 years ago from United States

As long as they lift and seperate thier legs when they are pedaling and don't cross into the heart of another cyclists path they'll keep on living bra-less and happy for a long time to come. I used to play-tex when I was a kid, but I hung up my spurs and my cowboy hat for an artist's beret, but boy when I was young I loved those living bra commercials.....I was well into my cups back then...LOL

~~~~MFB III


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Great lines there MFB. I loved any commercial about bras. I loved the SEARS catalog. We couldn't have anything as sexy as a National Geographic. Take care!


Moulik Mistry profile image

Moulik Mistry 6 years ago from Burdwan, West Bengal, India

I know you are a great biker but I am not - I can walk a long distance on foot. Another great writing from you - I enjoyed it very much...


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Thank you Moulik. I bet you'd be a great biker. I'm a has-been that never was. I'm a pretender but it's nice to pretend. Thank you very much!


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago

Thanks for the giggle and the pics are great.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Thank you Tammy. You are so nice. Happy trails


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US

wonderful hehe, lost control of their farts hehe, Nice and beautiful poem about the team. I can see the fun, hardwork and more fun. No support, but as you are writing bout them I hope they get more support, I support them, and hope all your endeavors and the team will go BANG, Thank you Mick, Take care, Maita


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Thank you again Maita. You are always the kind one. God bless sister!


Deborah Demander profile image

Deborah Demander 6 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

The playtex cycling team, it sounds like a dream

I don't know where they're going,

I'd like to see them in wyoming.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Hi Deborah Demander!

Aren't you the poetess?

We have no visible support,

And it causes much distress. Thanks


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

It would be nice joining this team. I think you enjoy that moment. As usual. I like those picture a lot. thanks Micky.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Thanks for coming by Prasetio. There are many cyclists who are wonderfully nice people.


2uesday profile image

2uesday 6 years ago from - on the web, I am 2uesday.

Thanks Micky for another poetic hub with photos and a smile too. Maybe playtex will sponsor a cycle racing team in the future.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

They only provide the undergarments- that's my bet. Thanks 2uesday!


poetlorraine 6 years ago

lovely, as ever your hubs are well full of bikes and fun. thanks for this it made me laugh


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago Author

Hi Poetlorraine. Thank you for those kind words. I fluctuate to the serious too often, I think, but is it wreaks of bicycles- it's usually fun with pics. Thank you Dear.

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