The Promise - A Short Story

The Promise


Nothing jogs a memory like a scent, and as soon as Mark Steele stepped into the hotel corridor from his room, he was transported back six years. She was here. He knew it, certain as the sunrise, as her faint, but unmistakable scent wafted through the air.

It was the same scent that caught his attention six years ago, in the dining room of another hotel down in Saint Louis. She had long auburn hair, and smoky green eyes which were boldly looking him over. He stopped so fast that his waiter escort walked off without him. She smiled and indicated the chair beside her with a small wave of her hand. He bowed slightly and accepted, taking her small hand in his own and brushing it with his lips. She smiled again.

The waiter returned with raised eyebrows, but quickly composed himself after a warning look from Mark. He ordered wine, and introduced himself. She smiled and replied. “I’m Audrey.” She offered no last name.

Her scent was a combination of a light perfume and her own womanly fragrance. It was delightfully airy, and overwhelmingly seductive. His mother had long ago warned him that a perfume must compliment the wearer, and that no two women were alike. His gift to a female friend of a vial of the same perfume his mother wore was a disaster. She despised the odor it produced, and he admitted to himself that it did indeed reek on her. Lesson learned.

He ordered for both, but the food was almost forgotten as they talked. Despite the conversations, he learned little about her, but her secrecy made her all the more alluring. They sipped more wine, and talked until Mark noticed the time and the impatient waiter. He signaled for the check, signed it, and they left the dining room.

For the first time in years, Mark Steele was unsure of himself as he escorted Audrey down the hallway. He was deciding what to say when they heard the strains of music coming from the hotel’s ballroom. Audrey looked up at him and smiled gaily.

“Oh please, can we go in? I haven’t danced in ages and I love it!”

The party was for a couple Mark knew, so he found a table and ordered another glass of wine. The next dance was a waltz, so he stood and offered his hand to Audrey. He was a fine dancer, and he quickly realized that Audrey was his equal or more. They swooped gracefully around the floor, drawing the admiring glances of the rest of the party.

They stayed on the floor, and danced every dance for the next hour. Finally and exhausted, they sought their table, sitting out the next two dances. Then a young man Mark knew came to their table and offered his hand to Audrey, who glanced at Mark with a question in her eyes. For the first time in his adult life, Mark Steele felt a small pang of jealousy, but he nodded his approval. Audrey studied him for a moment and made up her mind.

“Thank you sir, for your generous offer, but my time is short, and I wish to spend it with my handsome escort. I hope you understand.” She smiled up at the young man, who bowed slightly and smiled back. He left, and she turned her green eyes back to Mark. “If that is acceptable?”

He nodded. “Of course.”

They danced several more dances before returning to their table, where Audrey once again turned her smoky eyes to him. “I believe my urge to dance has been satisfied, my dear. Perhaps we should go.”

They were back in the hallway when he turned to her, smiling. “I will now resist my manly urges, and escort you to your room like a gentleman.”

She hesitated, and her hand went to his sleeve. “I am not staying at this hotel, Mark. I came here because I was told the food was excellent.” She smiled up at him. “But I have to admit that I scarcely touched my dinner and have no idea how it tasted.” She bit her lower lip, and made a decision. “I’ll know you’ll think me bold and perhaps a loose woman, but I assure you I am not. I want to spend the night with you, Mark Steele. Will you please take me to your room?”

He closed the door and she came to his embrace, kissing him searchingly, her slim body pressing against him, and her scent filling his nostrils. She pulled away, gasping for breath, her face flushed. “I am not at all a harlot, Mark. In fact, I am a virgin, so please be very kind and gentle.”

She was telling the truth. They made love, and it was over quickly. He held her in his arms until their breathing subsided, and when she kissed him again, he quickly responded. The second time was far less urgent, and she relaxed in his embrace, gasping with pleasure. They slept and then made love, again and again. At last, Mark fell into an exhausted, deep slumber, with a sleeping Audrey nestled in his arms, the atmosphere full of her lovely scent.

When he awoke, the sun was shining through the lace on the windows, and Audrey was gone. At first, he thought she had gone to the bath at the end of the hall, but then he saw the note on the dresser, lying beside a folded handkerchief.

...

“Dear Mark,

I’m afraid that I have been less than honest, not in what I did say, but in what I failed to say. You see, I have long ago promised myself to another, and I must now journey to keep that promise. But when I saw you in the dining room, I realized at once that you were the handsome knight of my dreams, and I was helpless to resist my own temptations. So, I simply had to know. I had to experience the joy of being with you, even if it was just for the one night. You were all I ever thought love could be and more. I have no regrets.

I will never forget you, and I will love you forever.

Please don’t try to find me. It would be better that way.

I am, forever, your Audrey”

...

He respected her wishes, and despite his longings, he did not initiate a search. The handkerchief was rich with her scent, and he kept it. A thousand times in the ensuing years, he thought he caught a glimpse of her on a street in some city, but it was always another. He also caught the scent of her perfume, but it was not the same on another woman.

Two years ago, he met and married Martha. She too was a beauty, and he loved her dearly, but she was not an exciting woman like Audrey, and she never would be. They had a son, and now, Martha was once again carrying his child. He was a loyal husband, and on his business trips, he never sought the company of another.

But Audrey was here. He recognized her scent, although her perfume was very faint.

He saw no one, so he went down the corridor and then down the stairs where her scent disappeared. He attended his business meeting, and had dinner, always looking for Audrey, but she was nowhere to be found.

The next day, he walked the streets, thinking perhaps he might glimpse her, but he saw no one. He was torn between his love and loyalty to Martha and his memories of Audrey. At last, he returned to his hotel, vowing to remove Audrey from his mind and heart. He opened the secret compartment in his valise, and took out a small handkerchief, now turning yellow with age. He sniffed it for the scent that was no longer there, and dropped it into the wastebasket. Feeling somewhat relieved at his decision, he blew out the oil lamp, and went to bed.

The following morning, he was coming out of the bath down the hall, freshly shaved and dressed when he saw Audrey. She stood not five feet away, and he caught her scent instantly. She was with two other women, and her eyes went wide with recognition. A brief, joyous smile crossed her face before she caught herself and glanced at the two women with her. Her eyes went back to Mark, and this time there was an unmistakable plea on her face. All three women were identically dressed in solemn black and pure white, so Mark smiled, bending at the waist in a bow.

“Good morning, sisters.”

More by this Author


Comments 131 comments

dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 4 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

I now I expected a twist but not that one. Great surprise.


Old Poolman profile image

Old Poolman 4 years ago from Rural Arizona

Wow, this was amazing. All the different ways this could have gone, and you picked the one I never thought of. A truly beautiful story WillStarr.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thanks, Don!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Mike,

I got to wondering if it ever happened that way, before taking their vows?


Old Poolman profile image

Old Poolman 4 years ago from Rural Arizona

Bill, most likely it does. I can tell you for sure I would most likely have a party that lasted at least two weeks before I took the vow.


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 4 years ago from On the edge

Oh darn, what is the word I'm looking for ...?

FANTASTIC! I loved this. You did good big brother, real good!


Bridget30 profile image

Bridget30 4 years ago from West Virginia

Wow!! Just wow! This is a beautiful description of the pains of love and faith! Absolutely beautiful!


lilyfly profile image

lilyfly 4 years ago from Wasilla, Alaska

Dear friend, I hope everyone came to support you. You are the goodness we had, but now, do not.Sisters... Oh my goodness!Have you written your full length novel? Say you have please... much love, lily


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

I kept thinking when Audrey left him, " This can not be the end? " Then reading on, i knew you would bring her back into his life, being a hopeless Romantic, i wanted it, but shucks, they were so cool. I guess it was best and the right thing to do..Loved your story Will..Cheers


SubRon7 profile image

SubRon7 4 years ago from eastern North Dakota

Why does it have to be that way, Will? Why can't we have the one we want, rather than the one we can get? Not that either is in my life right now, but it seems like that's how it always is. I didn't know that about perfume. Also, I have never bought perfume for a woman, so, in a way, maybe I did know.

Good job, my friend.


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

This has a very interesting twist. Very interesting and good story.


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

great story.. I wish and hope he will get his true love

voted up

Debbie


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 4 years ago from United States

Wonderful story with a great surprise ending. Up and awesome.


bmcoll3278 profile image

bmcoll3278 4 years ago from Longmont, Colorado

As always a great twist Will thank for the entertainment By the way I was born in Phoenix


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States

WillStarr! Outstanding! Great ending! Simply marvelous!


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

A wonderful story. I was wondering how you were going to bring her back once he had a wife and children. I knew you wouldn't allow him to cheat so this was the perfect end.

Loved it


Richawriter profile image

Richawriter 4 years ago from On Top of the World

You have a way with words and a fertile imagination, as well as a deep understanding of the human psyche in regards to the affairs of love!

I admire your style, Willstarr!

Take care and thanks for this thoroughly enjoyable story.


diogenes profile image

diogenes 4 years ago from UK and Mexico

I didn't suss this one out Will! I though maybe she was with her lesbian girlfriend but your ending was much more subtle and meaningful...so clever not to forget the perfume would have faded on the kerchief...

It reminded me of....

WELL DONE AGAIN!

Bob


Sunnie Day 4 years ago

Fantastic story! Very exciting and romantic! I loved the perfume lingering..like a song takes one back time and again.

Thanks Will,

Sunnie


Nan Mynatt 4 years ago

Will this was the best love short story that I have ever read. Sister of the cloth, married to the church. I think in real life that they would have left the church? You told the story that many have experienced and never gotten over in true life. He never let the fire died and kept looking for her and the love they shared. Excellent short story!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

LOL @ the party, Mike!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Glad you liked it little sister!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Bridget30!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

No novel yet, lilyfly. Guess I'd better get on it!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Ruby!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, James!

We find the right one after we quit looking.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Becky Katz!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi Deborah Brooks, and thank you!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Pamela99!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, bmcoll3278!

My oldest son was also born in Phoenix!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Dex!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Rosemay50!

No, he could never cheat on his sweet Martha.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Richawriter, and thanks for the great comment!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

It reminds you of what, Bob? That would probably make a great story!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi Sunnie, and that is so true! Our sense of smell can trigger lost memories in an instant. It's amazing.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi Nan,

Our Audrey had promised herself to the Church, but had not yet taken her vows. This was her last chance at romance, so she took it. That was her deception.


Jason R. Manning profile image

Jason R. Manning 4 years ago from Sacramento, California

Like most of the other responses...wow, very poetic in description, what a decision. Terrific writing Will, romanticism of the faithful kind.


aguasilver profile image

aguasilver 4 years ago from Malaga, Spain

You got me again!

Every time you just get me and I am surprised. I want to tell you that when I saw this hub was published, I actually went and made tea, and grabbed some cake to sit and read it, that's right, your stories have become a focal point in my life...

John


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

Brilliant story;you are indeed a great storyteller.

Take care and enjoy your weekend.

Eddy.


Ginn Navarre profile image

Ginn Navarre 4 years ago

Yes indeed, with your imagination there just had to be a ROMANTIC HEART because you can't have one without the other. You didn't fool this ole Tempe gal.

P.S. Write that novel!!!!!!


Diane Reece 4 years ago

WOW, I NEVER SAW THAT COMING!

THAT'S WHAT SEPARATES YOU FROM ORDINARY AUTHORS!

YOUR THE KIND OF AUTHOR THAT LEAVES EVERYONE COMING BACK FOR MORE!

OKAY NOW ALONG WITH OTHERS WE ARE READY FOR YOU NOVEL!!!!


cat on a soapbox profile image

cat on a soapbox 4 years ago from Los Angeles

Just great, Will! It couldn't have ended more perfectly.


Genna East profile image

Genna East 4 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

Ohhhh! I wasn't sure what to expect with the classic Starr twist, but this one was definitely not on the horizon until you wrote, "Identically dressed." Then I shut my eyes and hoped I was wrong. And then I thought, no, this is the perfect ending. "Good morning, Sisters." A little disappointing to Mark? Perhaps; but not nearly as painful an ending as would have perhaps unfolded had this not been the case. Excellent as usual, Will. :-)


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi Jason, and thank you for the kind words!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi John, and I'm so pleased that you like my work!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi Eddy, and thank you!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi Ginn!

I didn't fool you? Really?


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi Diane, and thank you so much!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, cat on a soapbox!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi Genna East!

I don't think Mark was disappointed so much as he was relieved that his Audrey was safe and happy. Not knowing why is the hardest part of losing someone. Now he knows and understands.,


Teylina profile image

Teylina 4 years ago

OH, oh, oh-- what a fantastic and fabulous story! I, too, like most of your readers was waiting for a twist. I had about two or three in my brain, but I couldn't figure out how even you could pull them off! Promises are promises, and I was ready for anything but this. What an awesome last sentence to tell the story! I'm glad you brought out about the perfume. So true, and I'm reminded of a possible hub! Up and to the clouds with beauty and feeling. Thank you!


Ghost32 4 years ago

Well done as always. Aweseome setup, describing their passionate interlude in some detail as the backdrop for what he was to discover years later.

And I agree: Not knowing IS the hardest part of losing someone.

Voted Up and...all but Funny.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 4 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

OMG...you are truly something else...and I can't say what this meant to me...I was a NUN for 2 years...yes I was.(don't tell on me tho)..very sexy story loved every bit of it...:O) Hugs G-Ma and God Bless


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi Teylina,

One of these days I'm going to tell a story with no twist!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi Fred,

I wonder whatever happened to old what's-her-name?


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, G-Ma Johnson!

Wow! I guess this really hit home, then! You'll have to write the story.


Dani Novoa 4 years ago

I have to be honest I had to read the twist twice before I realized what Sisters meant....doh....Great story!


BlossomSB profile image

BlossomSB 4 years ago from Victoria, Australia

That was a great story and told so well. Loved the twist at the end.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 4 years ago

Loved the tory. The ending was fantastic and unexpected. Up and awesome.


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 4 years ago from The Beautiful South

All I can say is Lordy Lordy!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

LOL @ Dani! Thank you!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Blossom!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi Pop, and thank you!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Jackie!


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

So tender... life can sure be funny the way it weaves over the years. Voted UP and ABI. Loved this, Maria


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Maria, and thank you!


resspenser profile image

resspenser 4 years ago from South Carolina

Got me again!


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland

Hi Will, compelling to the end. Great story.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Happy to fool you, Ronnie!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi chspublish! Nice to have you back on HubPages!


suziecat7 profile image

suziecat7 4 years ago from Asheville, NC

Another surprise. A nun - ha! Great story, so absorbing as usual. Rated up and shared.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Suziecat!


Teylina profile image

Teylina 4 years ago

Finally saw your comment to me--is hell going to freeze over first? Just kidding!) I just want to know how you do it so perfectly!


carter06 profile image

carter06 4 years ago from Cronulla NSW

I loved your story, a little bit saucy with a such a great twist...thanks for writing...and sharing with us!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

You are a wonderful story-teller, Will, and a hopeless romantic with an enchanting sense of humor. How fortunate for the rest of us who devour your writings. Thanks for this gem which I voted Up with passion.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Teylina,

An idea pops into my head and I write it!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, carter06, and thanks for the visit!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you so much, drbj, for that kind comment!


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Will, now, we'll have nun of that!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

(groan!)


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

(Smile!)


Rosie2010 profile image

Rosie2010 4 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Another great story from Hubpages' Master Storyteller. I love romantic stories, and you made fall in love with this one. Beautiful!

Have a nice day, WillStarr. Cheers!

Rosie


toknowinfo profile image

toknowinfo 4 years ago

Wow, you tell stories in such a way that it always leaving me to want to read more of your writing. Rated up, awesome, beautiful, and interesting.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Rosie!

Good to see you again!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, toknowinfo, for that very sweet comment!


Levertis Steele profile image

Levertis Steele 4 years ago from Southern Clime

Foreshadowing is great, but surprise twists are even better. I never would have predicted this ending. I hate to be left hanging, but at the same time, I love the way it makes me create a string of possible endings.

In true life men seem to always be attracted to the hard-to-get. They seem to love a challenge. That is why some women enjoy complicating relationships. Some women enjoying giving men locked attractions and walking away leaving them wanting them forever. They do a string of men like that, and, unfortunately, some end up cold cases.

This is another great one! I love a variety of good books and own many. Do you have any of your work on the market? You write like the professionals.


Teylina profile image

Teylina 4 years ago

I don't see anyone being "left hanging" by this totally out-of-the-blue ending, Levertis! You sound like me on other hubs that leave me questioning, but I don't think our Will ever leaves anything wanting --except more! And I agree--we need some of his work on our bookshelves! And, Will, it's frustrating to see your oh-so-cavalier "oh, a story just pops in my head and I write it" -- they pop in my head, too, but I can't get that awesome twist even if it's in my head when I start!


Tayshia 4 years ago

I really enjoyed your story!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Levertis Steele!

I had a book on Kindle, but I pulled it for a rewrite and formatting.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Teylina!

That's really the way it happens! My writing style is what it is.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi Tayshia, and thank you!


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 4 years ago from Dallas, Texas

I couldn't imagine how you were going to tie this one up with so little space left before the comments section. As I read along, my eyes wanted to drift ahead in a rush and get to the twist I knew was coming. Then in three words you summed it up! You are truly a gifted storyteller, Will.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you kindly, Peg!


bethperry profile image

bethperry 4 years ago from Tennesee

Will, THANK YOU!! I absolutely love the surprise ending!

And that's why all the men call her Audrey, patron saint of trouser snakes, lol.

Sorry, couldn't help myself. But voting up!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

LOL @ Beth! Thank you!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

Excellent writing. Captivating. But oh, so sad and yet romantic! What hurts more than love founded and lost? What touches us more than a story about lost love?

I am in awe of your talent and imagination, WillStarr, and your characters are (always) perfect, as they should be :)


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Martie!

If I can 'awe' you, I think I can satisfy any reader!


wba108@yahoo.com profile image

wba108@yahoo.com 4 years ago from upstate, NY

I like the subtle descriptive langauge along with your mastery of the fine art of romantic writing! Bravo!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Will!


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 4 years ago from West Virginia

Will, always great work my friend. Can't change destiny! Another great story to the collection. Great every word through Will. Take care.


Levertis Steele profile image

Levertis Steele 4 years ago from Southern Clime

Teylina,

You said, "I don't see anyone being "left hanging" by this totally out-of-the-blue ending, Levertis!"

You are so right! When I read this story the first time, I did not get it! When Mark said, "Good morning, sisters," I thought about their identical outfits and thought that they were triplets, biological sisters. For some reason, that nagged my mind because, by then, I had read enough of Will Starr's work to grasp his style, and that ending didn't have the punch I expected. I knew that something was wrong. A piece of the puzzle was missing, so I re-read, and "Voila!" Surely enough, the black and white habits popped into my mind, and I enjoyed the shocking revelation: Nuns!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, thelyricwriter!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Levertis Steele,

Actually, you made a great point, so I edited the ending just a bit. Thanks for the heads-up!


Stephanie Henkel profile image

Stephanie Henkel 4 years ago from USA

You do have a wonderful way of telling a story with that last little twist that makes your reader smile and sigh and wish they had thought of such an ending. What a great story!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi,Stephanie, and thank you!


IWantFroyo profile image

IWantFroyo 4 years ago from Virginia, USA

Really good!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, IWantFroyo!


Levertis Steele profile image

Levertis Steele 4 years ago from Southern Clime

Will Starr:

It was not my intention to imply that your ending was not clear enough. It was perfect. Sometimes readers need to put their reading strategies to work. Re-reading is one that I often employ.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Levertis Steele,

Your suggestion was a great improvement, and I appreciate it!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago

You've become the Master of "Romantic Short Stories"...This one flowed so well, with a perfect ending...very truthful...very real...Sure this wasn't a Relative Will? Art imitating Life...As well as my Vote UP!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you so much, b. Malin!


SilentReed profile image

SilentReed 4 years ago from Philippines

A smile form with the mention of Audrey and her companion identically clad. It broke out into a chuckle at "Good morning, sisters. Audrey really knew how to throw a bachelorette party; although I don't think the church would sanction it.:) One item in the story intrigue me. Perhaps Mark imagine the perfume scent of Audrey when he revisited their former hotel of assignation. Our senses can play tricks on the mind, especially when we are emotionally driven. But since G-Ma Johnson above commented about being a former nun and never mention it, I guess the church allow nuns/sisters some form of vanity like the use of perfumery.:)


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, SilentReed!

In the author's mind, it was not the same hotel, and in this story, the scent was unique to Audrey, with or without the perfume.


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 4 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana

I'm not sure how I missed this one, 12 days ago!

But dog gone it! I mean, RIGHT up to that last sentence, I was wondering WHERE this one was going to go!!!!!!!!!

I actually "kackled" out loud! I'm pretty certain, I have never even "kackled" out loud beforem nor am I sure what a "kackle is", but I just DID!

As always, very, very entertaining!!

Chris


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thanks, Chris,

I meant it to be a light-hearted ending, so I was pleased that you laughed!


epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

...always a pleasure Sir Starr - will post this to my FB music/cinema group with a direct link back here and you are one of the best writers of all time at the Hub. period.

Could you do me one small favor Will? And check out my buddy Maria who goes under the name of SCRITTOBENE - and read her new 'western' poem - thank you - lake erie time 10:11am


scrittobene profile image

scrittobene 4 years ago from Melbourne Australia

Beautifully written and descriptive. A great story with an unexpected finale which left me wanting to ask some questions. Maybe if there is a sequel to this story, those answers may be revealed. I'm glad Epigramman shared this Hub on Facebook. Many thanks Will and I hope to read more. - Cheers, Maria D'Alessandro (Melbourne Australia)


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi Epi, and thanks for the comments and the link!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi Maria!

Thanks for the follow, and what's the name of that western poem?


Kebennett1 profile image

Kebennett1 4 years ago from San Bernardino County, California

What a beautiful love story and WOW, an amazing twist! I loved every moment of it. Voted Up beautiful and amazing!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Kebennett1!


Angela Blair profile image

Angela Blair 4 years ago from Central Texas

Guess I was on the road when you wrote this one, Will -- and you slipped this ending right by me as I never expected that one! Great story and voted up, up, up! Best/Sis


Kavita Trivedi profile image

Kavita Trivedi 4 years ago from London

Oh how beautifully written! I am now your fan :)


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Sis!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Kavita Trivedi!


LadyFiddler profile image

LadyFiddler 4 years ago from Somewhere in the West

LOL you do have a vast imagination will you did listen well to your teacher. He or she would have been so proud of you today :).

Wow did audrey turned a nun? please tell me


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi Lady!

Audrey was not yet a nun when she met Mark, but that was where she was headed. I guess we could call it a romantic detour.


Barbsbitsnpieces profile image

Barbsbitsnpieces 4 years ago from Napoleon, Henry County, Ohio, USA

@WillStarr...You are a master of the twist, even if it's sometimes smaller than the last one!

I'll mention this story at my "The Amazing Truth About Fiction" Hub which I just completed. (My linking capability seems shot right now!!)


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Barb!


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

Thank you Will for an entertaining read--and how about that Audrey??


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Maybe I should have mentioned her classical singing voice and her enchanting poetry!

^_^

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