The Sad Song of Angels

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I am the fire that burned in your past

and the ice that took over within

Some things just don't seem to match;

they clash too hard to maintain any balance

Intensity is what motivates us to breathe

Ferocity is what drives us to fall to our knees,

or give up our souls, or surrender and plead

Tenderness and hatred, a fine line between

fire and ice and water and steam



~~~~~~




This one was written last night for a friend of mine. Her friend killed herself the night before, and I could see how it affected so many people. I felt like writing this for all those who end their lives...


Somewhere along the way, the meaning was lost

between translation and despair, something whispered...

A lie was born, and the One below smiled, as yet another took their life.

The angels welcome them, with teary eyes, they sing a sad song for us.

This is the path we walk, and we can follow so many different ways.

This is the life and death we are gifted, and we choose just how to use them.

Lonesome and alone, distraught and done, weakened, weary, dying...

but I tell you now, the ones you leave behind will suffer oh so greatly.

I see it every day, the way that we surrender, the lies we allow to seep in.

Fight that feeling, I pray thee, take one more breath for us,

and if you choose to leave us, may thee rest in peace, while we pick up the pieces.



~~~~~~



I dip my hand into the night sky
and feel the stars, like sand,
running off the tips of my fingers
and bringing galaxies to life

Don't you speak to me,
these rumors of defeat,
for victory is all I shall become
and time will rest within me

I saw your face today, I remember this,

but I already have forgotten every detail of it

I recall some sort of scent,

and ever lovely it was to me

I felt your aura next to mine,

and your walls gave way to mine

Maybe it was all just a dream



~~~~~~



This one feels extremely close to my heart. I can't explain it, really. I just feel somehow like this is a large piece of my heart, in words.


More so, than knee deep,
becoming buried in that
which we fear and seek
to someday come to accept

drown me in your oceans,
steal my breath from me

engulf me in your fires,
burn my skin away

you left me speechless,
too alive to open my eyes
to the truth of it,
to the truth of everything

keep me blind tonight,
don't allow my eyes to see

in your arms, I'm free,
to free-fall from the sky

I feel it all too clearly
this body will soon leave me



© copyright Ben D.A 2011





Comments 26 comments

BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

redhera - thank you so much I'm happy to know that :]


redhera profile image

redhera 5 years ago from philippines

awesome hub. I really love your writings. I can really feel your passion in writing. I love reading your hub.thank you! God bless you Ben!


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Ian - In a way I agree about the selfish act, but I also understand complete despair ya know? Thank you for your kind words

Cheyenne - Thank you so much, you reading my work means a lot to me

Mark - Humbling ANYONE means a great deal to me, especially a fantastic writer such as yourself. Really appreciate that

Sunnie - That comment melted me. Thanks so much for the heartfelt words :]

Nikki - I am very happy that you still visit my work, despite how neglectful I am of reading others' work :[ Thank you


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

All of your comments mean the world to me

Mark, Cheyenne, Nikki, Sunnie, Ian...

I don't have time to reply individually sometimes, but I read every comment and cherish it. Thank you all so much


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Ben may I add one more thing. We are so blessed to have you here. It is so refreshing to see a young man as yourself pouring your heart and soul into your writing. I pray you go very far in whatever you put your hands to do..I have wanted to say that for quite sometime..

Take care,

Love,

Sunnie


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas

Ben, the suicide poem struck me because my college roommate and very close friend killed himself back in 1994. He was an artist and an insomniac and felt every moment very deeply. He was as we used to say, "A heavy dude." He was not born for these times and it tore him up and he ended it finally. I truly appreciate your words and your gifts. You humble me and everytime I read your stuff I wonder why I even bother to write....


thisismylife9123 profile image

thisismylife9123 5 years ago from Salt lake city, UT

I am at a complete loss for words. these words flow from something more than just your head. so beautiful.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

Ben, what can I say apart from "Beautiful". You know it is. I know it is. Anyone with a soul and an appreciation of good poetry knows it is.

But I am dammed if I can say more...

I've been there myself and, looking back, my heart still breaks when I think of the people I thought I was leaving behind.

Some may say it's a magnificent act. Some may say it's a noble act.

It's neither, it is the act of a selfish person.

Cold comfort, I know. Forgive me.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

amazing poetry as always. i really liked the song too. and the title.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Sunnie - I really appreciate that comment. Thank you for visiting, and I hope you were touched by it. That's my only true hope for my writing.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Dear Ben,

Such a sad subject to write about but know it is one that has touched many. Ben so beautifully written. Your words really are profound. I find it most heart breaking when anyone takes their life and feels there is no hope. I am sure there are many angels crying as they escort these heartbroken souls home.

Thanks Ben,

Sunnie


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Saddle - her suicide letter was so incredibly calm. It got to me so much, because I knew that she had accepted her end, and it wasn't even because of anything particular. Just life. Just existing.

I have to fight it off every day of my life. I have to focus my energy and mind to IGNORE the desire to die, and fight for anything. It's crazy how despaired this world truly is.

Thank you for that really wonderful comment, I am very pleased that you read this

caroline - That's so crazy. I have never lost anyone extremely close to me this way, but I hope I never do. I felt so much pain from someone I barely knew at all. Thank you so much for your visit and comment


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 5 years ago from Close to Heaven

Love this. It is so sad when people commit suicide. My friend killed herself a few years ago. She jumped in front of a metra train and left her purse on the ledge so people would know who she is. I thought she was okay. I talked to her a week before. When her sister called me to tell me I was heartbroken. Thanks for your writing. I relate.


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

This life may be tougher for most teens today. The peer pressures at schools, the drugs taken randomly, the freedom of all sexual desires, some types of music. Yet I to had my share of all of these as a teen, I felt the pressures and at times the melancholy of ending it all.

I had to look and dig very deep within myself many times to keep me from falling forever over the edge and into the great dark Abyss. My heart cries for those who want to end their lives, whether young or old. I wish we could stop the desire to end life, but we can't. I only can pray that there will be people by their side for them contemplating suicide to turn to when they are most vulnerable.

May this person RIP wherever she may be. Your poetry is stark, real, harsh at times and sure kicks us in the gut. Poetry does that when wrenched from our souls. Ben stay strong, your gifts are a blessing to many and the world would be a sadder place without your being here. Peace and blessings to you my fellow poet.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Thank you again, Ardie. I really appreciate that, and I'm sorry for what happened.


Ardie profile image

Ardie 5 years ago from Neverland

Its been 6 years and I still wonder if someone could've stopped her. Maybe one word would've done the trick. But none of us saw it coming. I don't blame her, we failed her in a huge way by not seeing. I hope more people read what you wrote and think twice.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Senoritaa - I agree, totally. I know the feeling of despair very well, and have considered suicide many times, but I see what it does to everyone. I refuse to be the reason so many people are hurting. I won't let that feeling defeat me, but I don't blame those that do. It's such a sad thing to witness. Thanks for your visit


Senoritaa profile image

Senoritaa 5 years ago

The ones who end their lives, wish they could read your line, but let us not blame them, for they know not what they do.

Your poems touched a very old chord in my heart, someone special I had lost this way!


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Patty - It really seems like suicide is becoming an epidemic. Just so out of control lately.

Thanks for the visit, I was actually very surprised by it, considering you're famous on Hubpages.


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 5 years ago from North America

I've lost several friends this last couple of years. Some may have been suicides without notes. Thanks for the poetry.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Ardie - My intention with that poem was actually something I wish people could see before they decide to end it. I read this girl's suicide note, and it hit me hard. I knew that no one had a chance to stop her. I just wrote what I felt at that moment. Thank you for that


Ardie profile image

Ardie 5 years ago from Neverland

I wish someone would've shared your words with my cousin before she killed herself...we were left with the pieces and still don't know what to do with them. Sadly it alienated half the family. Your other writing is excellent but that specific one really hit hard.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Cardisa - the 2nd and last were definitely very emotional for me. The last one, being much more personal.

Thank you so much for the comment, so soon after I published it :]


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Frank - thank you for that quick visit/comment. Appreciate it much


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 years ago from Jamaica

Ben, I can see why the last one is your fave. The second laced with some grief. The third one seems like you have conquered but the last is just breathless!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 5 years ago from Shelton

powerfully driven hub.. up and awesome

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