The Tidal Wave - A Poem

Source
Source
Source
Source
Source

Without you
I drift on thru life.
A shadow
That was once your wife.

I don't know how to play
This widow's card.
To honor you, I can't loose me
But this quest is hard.

I feel lost in a sea of my own grief.
An ocean of emotion threatening the essence of me.
This is not like any part of me that you once loved.
This is nothing like anything that we dreamed of.

I muster up Anger to shake the still water.
I use the confusions as fuel to take me farther.
All this effort to take one baby step.
To travel thru the ocean of tears I have wept.

The beautiful memories carry me high.
Your abundant love keeps me in the sky.
Yet the pain and the sorrows reach up from the depths.
They grab at my ankles to remind me of your death.

I use all of my strength to create this tidal wave.
I see the shore line and I try to be brave.
Finally my goal is in sight.
Soon I will be still on the sand and soak up the light.

Exhausted I come crashing down.
Hoping no one is near for they will surely drown.
I get my wish for a moment or two.
Then I am pulled out to sea to start it all anew.

I float thru the water with nothing left.
My smile is a tribute to my great success.
I didn't get much time on the sand,
But in the chaos, I stole some in my hand.
While I am not where everyone thinks I should be.
There is nothing more beautiful than the calm after the storm in the sea.



More by this Author


Comments 35 comments

HattieMattieMae profile image

HattieMattieMae 5 years ago from Limburg, Netherlands

one beautiful poem! :)


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 5 years ago from Central Florida Author

Thank you so much HattieMattieMae. I have read your work and appreciate the compliment.

It's a good outlet for me.


lisbeth 5 years ago

This is so beautiful.....I love it.


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 5 years ago from Central Florida Author

Thank you for visiting me here Lisbeth. This poem came to me in an instant. I keep putting pictures to my emotions. It's almost always a powerful natural element that is destructive. Both beautiful and devastating. We will see what comes up next.


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

Yes, Moms-Secret, I feel your emotion, and the crash of emotions, as you did with my "Moving on After Death and Loss" poem. It's angrily sad, hauntingly beautiful, and I'm going to follow you for more. I like meeting like minds, and you may be one to me. God Bless. See you soon.


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 5 years ago from Central Florida Author

Thank you for reading it Victoria and for your comments and feedback. I write to try to answer the question that keeps coming... 'how are you doing'.

I too will be reading more of you. :)


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 5 years ago from Central Florida Author

Another wave comes crashing in as I survive my second month. 1 step forward 10 steps back.


Fennelseed profile image

Fennelseed 5 years ago from Australia

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful husband. I feel the depth of your pain and your amazing poem captures so eloquently and precisely the surges of powerful emotion in grief and the need to react to that emotion.

"I use the confusions as fuel to take me farther". You have been able to harness that powerful energy and use it creatively.

Please Moms-Secret keep writing, write for your husband, write for your beautiful daughter and write for you. Your poetry is truly amazing and will provide a release.

I connect with your grief and look forward to reading many more hubs by you.


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 5 years ago from Central Florida Author

Always nice to see you Fennel. I am so happy to hear that my words can be felt by others and are not just the ramblings of a confused, hurt woman. I think I will listen to you very closely. I will write. So far it is the only release that I have been able to take part in. Everything else has been easy for me to avoid.

Thank you for the comment Fennel. I look forward to seeing more of you as well.


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 5 years ago from Central Florida Author

Always nice to see you Fennel. I am so happy to hear that my words can be felt by others and are not just the ramblings of a confused, hurt woman. I think I will listen to you very closely. I will write. So far it is the only release that I have been able to take part in. Everything else has been easy for me to avoid.

Thank you for the comment Fennel. I look forward to seeing more of you as well.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

i really loved this! so emotional! I am really sorry for your loss, but I believe that we will see our loved ones who have passed on again one day. I have to believe that there is a better place after death that we get to go to. so just stay strong for you and your daughter and live your life and be happy. knowing you will see him again.

this line really spoke to me.." I feel lost in a sea of my own grief.

An ocean of emotion threatening the essence of me."

Great poem. Voted up and Awesome!


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 5 years ago from Central Florida Author

Thank you so much for reading it Nikki. I am happy that you enjoyed it. I have always believed the same thing that you do. You tend to want the confirmation after something like this happens. I keep looking for a sign. This is when faith is at its hardest, but I still have it.

I am so happy that you stopped in and commented. Thank you.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

you are welcome. you write really well. I am a fan. and I hope you make it through these hard times. some people can deal with death so well and others...not so much, but it happens to us all, sometimes for reasons we just dont understand and at a time when we feel its unfair or undeserved, but we all have a time and it could be at any given moment. thats why we have to live every day like its our last. dont take anything for granted. Keep that faith, and keep believing because "tis better to believe there's a God and find out there isnt in death, than to not believe and then find out there is." qoute i find a long time ago, more or less in those words but you get the gist. Keep writing also it helps.


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 5 years ago from Central Florida Author

I love the quote Nikki. Thanks so much for sharing it. You are the best. I have always believed. I won't give it up because I have reached my crossroads.


adrienne2 profile image

adrienne2 4 years ago from Atlanta

Hi Moms-Secret, interesting poem.


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 4 years ago from Central Florida Author

Thank you for reading and commenting on it Adrienne2. Nice to see you again.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton

Moms.. this was blow your mind good.. damn up and awesome :) Frank


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 4 years ago from Central Florida Author

Wow, Frank what a huge compliment. Thank you. I am so flattered that I could blow your mind. I mean your mind is more than a contender.


George J Hardy profile image

George J Hardy 4 years ago from Southern New Jersey

no going around the ocean, only through it; it is the journey that makes the trip worthwhile, but alone is a lonely word, so press on pilgrim, press on.


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 4 years ago from Central Florida Author

Nice to meet you George. Thank you for your poetic and heartfelt comment. You are absolutely right, in a world made mostly of water avoiding the sea is impossible. This pilgrim will head your word.


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

Wow, you gave me chills with your words and the accompanying photos! I love what you said about not being where others think you should be . . . so true. Nobody else knows. Everyone grieves and heals differently and at their own pace. This is a beautiful poem.


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 4 years ago from Central Florida Author

Its been a while Victoria, so happy to see you. Thank you for enjoying the poem and the pictures. People can't help but be limited in vision. They are only people after all. They always think they understand and know what they would do in a situation until they are actually in it. It is very hard for them to trust you to know what you are doing with yourself. The intention is usually good tho.

Perfect example: a dear friend of mine decided that since I moved to a new area and need to build a new set of friends that she would surprise me with a match.com profile... never mind that none of my friends from my old neighborhood were single...


Winsome profile image

Winsome 3 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

Hi M'sS,

I totally get this. An ocean of emotion and a handful of sand. Well, you know what they say about the mustard seed. A professor of mine used to say that you don't have to have much faith, it's what you do with the faith you have that makes the difference. Wouldn't it be funny if our profiles were talking to each other.

Blessings,

Winsome


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 3 years ago from Central Florida Author

Thank You Winsome. I like the way your professor thinks. I believe in Kindred spirits. It wouldn't surprise me if profiles talk to each other.


Fiery Angel Arts profile image

Fiery Angel Arts 2 years ago from Providence, RI

Oh my beautiful and sweet Chiqui... How I wish I could just hug you. That sweet way of yours to portray what your soul contains like a pulse. I am happy to be back here at the hub and being part of what you share my friend. You have been missed greatly.


lifegate profile image

lifegate 2 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

Moms-Secret,

Another one straight from the heart. Know that it's not in vain. You've touched the lives of many through your writing.


suzettenaples profile image

suzettenaples 2 years ago from Taos, NM

Just beautiful words and sentiments. I love the images you create in your poetry. You'll get there on your own time. Nothing can be rushed. Thank you for sharing this poem with us .


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

You write with such raw emotion... so powerful. I am sure that is exactly what is feels like too, a tidal wave coming over you. I lost my sweet mother last Christmas. Christmas seems so different now.

You are truly a gift poet.

Up and more and sharing

Blessings to you and your daughter,

Faith Reaper


ocfireflies 2 years ago

Moms-Secret,

Greetings! The secret is out: You are an awesome writer with beautiful hubs. Please consider me a new follower. And many congratulations for receiving HOTD from another awesome writer, Faith Reaper.

Many Blessings,

Kim


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 2 years ago from Central Florida Author

I have missed you too my sweet friend Jinnet. You may be far but I feel your hugs and am grateful that you sent them to me. I am happy that you are back to and am looking forward to visiting you soon.


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 2 years ago from Central Florida Author

Oh Lifegate, that the aimless ramblings I left here were to help others would be an amazing gift. I can't say that I had that intention but would love the outcome. These are just the blood that seeps from an open wound on its journey to healing.


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 2 years ago from Central Florida Author

Suzette, thank you for visiting me. Timing is everything and so different for so many. 2 years has always been a thing for me. It is as if it takes me that long to re-establish myself. I loved that you were here to share it with.


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 2 years ago from Central Florida Author

My dear Faith... How many gifts have you given to me this season... I am beside myself and ever so grateful. Pouring these poems out were a part of my heaing and rediscovery. I had no idea that they would be a gift to others but I am so thankful that they are.


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 2 years ago from Central Florida Author

I am honored that you have chosen me to follow Kim and I am extremely flattered at the compliments. Faith Reaper has poured her love out on me unexpectedly and wow, I am in awe. She doesn't even know me. I never could have imagined that these gifts were even coming. It's an amazing feeling that I can't describe...


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 2 years ago from Central Florida Author

Yet... :)

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working