The Vanity of Hair


The Vanity of Hair

Hair is a dilemma
within my family...
It sprouts like wild, unbridled weeds
Or grows too scantily.

Those who have more than their share,
by now should own Gillette...
the rest are prone to baldness,
much to their fond regret.

Neither side is happy
and whine about their lot...
the hairy and the bald alike,
both jealous and distraught.

Now as for me, this writer,
I support Gillette...
How I love my razor...
As a female and brunette.

My sons, they are my nemesis...
receding one and all...
They shave their heads to hide the fact...
so they don't have to bawl.

One day, it was not long ago,
I dared to whine out loud...
I exclaimed, " I hate my hair!"
At the response I got, I cowed...

My oldest son, between clenched teeth,
said, "Mom, I'd buy the farm...
To have your hair upon this head!
Yes, I'd give my right arm!"

And it was in that instant
that the realization came...
that I had best be grateful
and bit my tongue in shame!

I suppose, the sin at hand
is none but vanity...
one of the seven Deadly Sins
this hair insanity!

"Copyright 2011, All Rights Reserved."

Comments 21 comments

bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California

No_Clue, this was super adorable!!! lol great work lol

smiles :)


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

I was blessed/cursed with a head full of curly, wavy hair that I still retain (although it is now mostly white.)

It all depends on what it looks like in the morning.

justom profile image

justom 5 years ago from 41042

Haaaa, very funny! How about those guys that do a comb over. I once laughed at our congressman Steve Chabot right to his face. Not to be mean but I looked at his do and just busted out laughing. I say a lot of hair or no hair but taking 5 strands and thinkin' if you comb those bad boys right across your noodle you're gonna' look good PLEASE look in the mirror:-P Peace!! Tom

No_Clue 5 years ago

A thousand thanks, bella! It is a true tale! thing that can be said for the bed head there...lololol!!! The silver lining shines bright in this cloud!!! is so funny you mentioned departed father, God rest his soul, was a Sasquach with a bald pate...who sported the comb-over. The excess hair was HIS gene!!! But not on the dome...he got teased mercilessly about that and it was a sore spot for sure!!! Thanks!

jamiecoins profile image

jamiecoins 5 years ago from ireland

cool hub

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

jamiecoins, thank you!

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janbee 5 years ago

Great work,No_Clue....I so enjoy reading your hubs! They make my day.!

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

Thank you, janbee...I so appreciate your visits and great support and comments!

Radioguy profile image

Radioguy 5 years ago from Maine

This is very funny and full of wisdom. In Biblical times, a woman's beauty consisted of having beautiful hair as you know. But even today, when there's a handsome man arriving on the scene, many women give themselves away by fussing with their hair the moment they lock eyes. And, if you want any woman to smile, simply say, " Oh,I like your hair."

Spirit Whisperer profile image

Spirit Whisperer 5 years ago from Isle of Man

Hair today gone tomorrow, Delilah!

Thank you for that great poem.

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

Radioguy, I thank you kindly, Sir!

Spirit Whisperer, Good one! It was actually a therapeutic write, finding some humor and owning an issue that has long been one!

Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

You're the lucky one, No_Clue, as even the richest, aka, The Donald, can't buy what's not there! Humorous and grateful words about a subject that plagues those without.

Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

make the best of wat you got! be it lots of hair or lack thereof. you could always cut some off and donate it.

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

Well now, Amy, you have certainly "Trumped" me! lol...Hugs!

Nikki, you got it, Girl! Thanks!

Fossillady profile image

Fossillady 5 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

This is cute, I guess you learned a lesson from your son! They have a way of teaching us a thing or two! I have two of my own! Crazy photo! Good laughs!

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

Fossillady, my sons, all three, God bless them, have been and remain, my greatest teachers...! and not all fun lessons, either! Thank you for your kind audience!

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Sunnie Day 5 years ago

No_Clue...I love this poem..I laughed so hard because me and my hair battled for years..different colors, short or long.. I just cut it short pixie and no more color..I am very happy that I will not battle anymore..well I might let it grow abit but thats IT! haha

Thanks for a great poem that we all can relate to.


No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

Ahh Sunnie, I am happy to bring a laugh! My dilemma is that when my hair is short, I want it long and when it is long, I want it short...but I don't complain, anymore...lest my hair disappear for lack of appreciation!

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Sunnie Day 5 years ago

lol I am the same the battle goes on..maybe I should be just thankful for the hair I do have..:)


BeyondMax profile image

BeyondMax 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

Adorable poem, sweet and delightful, how true! It's kind of like with Dr.Seuss - 'be happy with what you have, and what you have will make you happy' LOL we wish for the things we don't have all the time =)

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 4 years ago Author

Many thanks, Max! I fear it is human nature to want what we don't have, i suppose. Hugs!

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