Short Story: The Wanderer


Some journeys take forever.

Not because of the distances travelled or the forces that hinder the traveller. God knows the distances have been long and the hindrances formidable. Some journeys take forever because you travel backwards into the cavernous pits of your memory.

As I rode down the winding canyon, my eyes taking in the weathered rock face and the circling eagles, I knew this journey was more than just riding towards a destination.

Dusk was gathering on the horizon. The shadows lengthened in the rock face, casting strange shapes and lurking possibilities. The wind that had been warm all along became colder now. The canyons were dangerous to traverse at night as predators and restless spirits thrive on lost travellers.

My horse was tired; puffs of steam clouded his breath. My body ached from the long journey and my mind ached from wandering thoughts.

I looked for a place to rest for the night. There was a clearing ahead, clustered with bushes and a sparse area of grass. A large tree stood braving the forceful wind that battered the rock face . I could hear the trickle of a mountain stream.

This would do.


I swung down from Kathrian and he neighed in approval. I eased the harness off and led him to the stream. I drank to my fill at the stream and splashed some water on my face. Kathrian wandered off to sample the wild grass by the rock face.

I rested the harness on the ground and undid my cape.

My possessions were few apart from the clothes I wore: my Muren sword, a leather water gourd and my Syrillan stringed instrument. I picked the latter up and ran my hands over its sensuous carvings. I plucked a few strings and a somnolent melody emerged. They say the Syrillan picked up the player’s inner thoughts and changed its melody according to the moods.

The Syrils were masters of their craft. I picked this one up during the war. The elderly woodcrafter who made it was meticulous. I remembered his slow stride and shaking hands. The gnarled old joints of his fingers that looked like wood themselves. I used to marvel how his hands never shook when he worked on the wood. He fashioned the Syrillan with utmost affection as if it was an infant; stringing it with care and asking me to play it till the music was flawless.

I spread my cape on the ground and sat down, leaning on the cold rock. I kept the sword at arm’s length.

Night insects trilled all around making up their own music. There was a scent of wildflowers in the air. The rock people who dwelled on the other side of this mountain never ventured into the canyons at night. They believed that dead souls loiter here when the moon is out. I have seen my share of dead souls. Their mournful singing had inspired some of my own songs.

I did not light a fire. I never did. I did not have the need for one.

I fingered the rough scar in the shape of a ring on my left shoulder. A reminder of magic and death. The seal of Arturus. Few people knew its meaning. Fewer survived the knowledge.

I knew it kept the dead souls from wandering closer for they feared the seal and the ones who possess its power. They were wise.

My sleep was restless through the night. Spirits circled at a distance, wisps of mist rising from the ground. Some dared to venture closer, mist coalescing into menacing shapes that withdrew in a flash, sensing danger. Their haunting melodies soothed me to sleep.

Ancient memories emerged from the ocean of my mind. I saw her face in my dreams. She called me again, as she has been calling me since the dreams began. I am coming , I whispered to her, I am on my way .


Tree Line
Tree Line | Source


The village was engulfed in the early morning haze as I rode Kathrian down the mountain. Tiny huts and stone buildings scattered around farms. Much had changed, but then it has been fifty years since I left. Malnourished cows grazed on balding pastures looked up with rheumy eyes. Few stray dogs ran yapping as I rode the trail into the village. There were not many people about. I looked for the innkeeper’s sign.

The village had lost its magic in my absence. The farms looked abandoned; the once lively road was deserted. Some houses were shut and most buildings looked dilapidated. An ancient face leered at me from an open window. I could see few scrawny horses chewing on strands of hay .

I rode past a familiar place.

The blacksmith’s yard was empty and the remains of a long dead fire had scorched the ground. There was a wooden bench and a rusty anvil and a hammer lay half buried in the rubble. Wild creepers clung to the cracked walls. For a moment I saw the fires burning and I stood in front of the anvil, swinging that massive hammer. I saw Barian sitting in the corner, chewing on devil-weed.

“Gently lad, swing gently. Brute strength alone never fashioned a sword. It’s the skill that matters” he roared, spitting weed-juice on the ground. I could see his hard jaw and bulging muscles gleaming with sweat in the firelight. The eyes were kinder. I had been his apprentice long ago.

The image vanished back into the recesses of my mind.

I saw the inn down the end of the road. It was still the same. The rattling wooden sign was faded with years of winds and rain. “The Traveller’s Arms”.

I dismounted outside and tied Kathrian to the hitching post. I gathered my belongings and stepped into the dark interior.

Into the past.




The cobbled floor was cracked in places. Dirty wooden benches bore sword marks. Probably from drunken soldiers having a brawl. The boar’s head still glared down at me from above the inner entrance. It looked moth eaten and one of its tusks had broken off. A smell of ale and sweat, wood smoke and old leather pervaded my nostrils. I stood there, looking around for a bell as the innkeeper walked in from the cavernous passageway. He looked taken aback for an instant. He was older than I imagined he would be, wispy grey hair in a halo around his balding head. His beard was peppery and the blue eyes under the bushy eyebrows were inquisitive.

“ Ah. A traveller. I have not seen strangers here for a long time.” His voice was gravelly.

“I need a place to rest tonight.”

“Young man, have you come from afar?” He pointed his hands in the general direction of the east.

I smiled inwardly. Soren was as old as I. But my appearance had not changed much since my encounter with the forces that ruled my destiny. Cursed to eternity. To think some spent their lifetimes searching for what I have. They do not know the costs.

“I have.” I tossed a few coins on the table. “That should take care of the expense. I seek food and shelter. Is there someone who could stable my horse and give him some water and oats?”

He didn’t answer. His slowly picked the coins up and his face lit up. “These are gold. These are from Syrill. Are you a minstrel? I notice you are carrying that lyre.”

“Innkeeper, I seek food, not questions.”

He stepped back as if I hit him. “Forgive my insolence. I shall show you to your lodgings. We haven’t had visitors for a while. Things haven’t been good around here for years.”

“I can see that.”

He led me through wooden stairs into a smelly room. I looked at the bed as my body yearned for its soft comfort.

“I shall sleep now. Wake me up at midday. I hope there will be some food?”

“Yes sire. I will ask Kara to make you a meal. She is a good cook. She’ll tend to your horse now.”

I shut the door as he left and sank wearily in the bed. I felt bad I hadn’t said a friendly word to Soren. I had been warned not to upset the villagers, not to go stampeding through my past.

In my dream she was nearer. You are close. Her voice rustled like autumn leaves.


I woke up with a start, my right hand gripping the sword. Raucous shouts could be heard from downstairs. Sweat sheened my forehead. I eased the sword down by the bedside. Some instincts never go away. They have saved my life many times.

It was dark; an oil lamp cast its flickering light around the room. A bowl of water stood on the table. I must have slept late. I had hoped to rise at mid-day.

I cleansed myself and drew my cape around me, hiding the mark on my left shoulder. It was better not to arouse the villagers’ curiosity.

As I stepped down the dark stairway, I walked right into her. She jumped back like a startled doe.

“Pardon me, sire. I didn’t see you.” She hunched against the wall.

“It’s alright.”

“I have fed your horse. He is a marvellous animal. I’ve brushed his coat and watered him.”

“I am grateful.”

“Grandfather wanted me to wake you up at mid-day but you looked tired and were fast asleep.” She was a pale lass with flame red hair.

“No harm done” She must be Kara. The ragged clothes couldn’t mar her beauty. She stood there staring at me, as I walked past her. Sounds of revelry became louder.

A hush fell around the room when I stepped in. Three peasants sat around the scarred table with mugs of ale. A dwarf stood chewing on a piece of meat. There were others scattered around the room. Their faces haggard with the poverty that plagued the outerlands since the war.

Soren was drawing ale from the cask.

I walked up to him, conscious of beady eyes following my trail.

“ Ale, sire?”

“That would be nice.”

He drew me one. I drank the frothy liquid in a swift gulp. I motioned him closer.

“I need to know about someone who lived here a while back. May be still living here.”

He raised his bushy eyebrows.

“Her name is Rose. She was the blacksmith’s daughter.”

One of the peasants stirred in his seat. “ Let it be made known we do not like strangers. Let alone strangers asking questions.” He shook a thick fist in the air.

The others hushed him.

The Innkeeper drew another ale for me. His eyes avoided my gaze. “The Blacksmith’s family left here long ago.”

“ Now why do I not believe you?” I said, my voice hardening.

“Young lad, you are not from around here. Why do you seek this woman?” He was annoyed.

“For reasons of my own. Just tell me where she could be found.”

“She died,” said the dwarf approaching my side. Bits of meat clung to his voluminous lips, “She died long ago. She had the black-pox.”

I swung around to face him. “Does she have any family here?”

The dwarf laughed. “She was an old woman. Her husband perished in the canyons. She had no children. She was mad.”

One of the peasants stood up, belching. “Lad. You ask too many questions. I suggest you find your way back to where you came from. Leave us in peace. We have had our share of cursed strangers.”

Their dislike of strangers was something I’ve seen everywhere since the Syrillan war. The war drove people to starvation. Markets closed. Able young men rode off leaving women and children, the old and the crippled, to fend for themselves. Disease and famine ruled the land for the past fifty years. Heartless thieves pillaged and murdered helpless villagers. I’ve seen more than my share of hatred and venom during my travels. Superstitions were rife. Often with reason. The war had unleashed strange forces in the land.

Strange forces like me.

I could see in their conspiratorial looks that they were hiding something. I didn’t want to use force. I’d sworn never to raise my sword against common men. Moreover I didn’t want to lose my only trail to finding Rose. I could feel her presence. She was here somewhere, my dreams don’t lie.



I finished my drink and wandered outside. The moon was up casting pale shadows amongst the ruins of the village. A distant hound’s tortured howl pierced the night’s silence.

These were the very roads where I had played with my friends. The part of the village where I grew up had long since disappeared to rubble. The few houses left looked uninhabited. I could see light through some closed doors. I wished I hadn’t slept through the day. I could’ve asked some of the villagers about Rose. I did not know if they would have favoured me with answers.

I ventured near the Blacksmith’s yard. Fragments of the past flitted past empty windows. I saw her face in the moonlight, silvery tears brimming in her eyes.

Do you have to go? she had asked. They speak of the devil and wizardry in the war. I do not want to lose you.


I had laughed at her fears. I have to go, Rose. I can feel it in my blood. They need men to defend the land. Evil forces should never be let to overcome our land.


I felt her moist face on my chest. Promise me you’ll come back for me.


I had kissed her tearstained face. I will, Rose. I will.

I was back now, fifty years too late. I never meant to return.

I thought I had forgotten. I had not.

After my encounter with Arturus, my life had changed. Fifteen years of my life spent chasing phantoms. When I realised the war would continue forever, I left. The few who possessed the seal of Arturus splintered. We drifted to various corners, confused with what was happening to us. Unable to grasp the extent of our powers, unable to face the changes around us. The only way to survive was to drift, to wander.

Never to the same place twice. The danger of being burnt at the stake. Frozen in a time of our own while all around us people changed. We became myths and legends. We became hushed stories told around communal fires. We became phantoms ourselves.

I shook out of my reverie when I saw a solitary lamp coming towards me.

It was Kara. She looked flushed. “I can help you.” She whispered. I pulled her into the yard away from prying eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I know where the old woman is.” She was carrying a small sack of food and a water gourd.

“Why do they refuse to tell me?” I said, waving towards the Inn.

“Nobody is meant to go to the caverns. The place is cursed, or so they say. I think they are afraid of her. She used to work as the village nurse since her husband died. She tended to my father when he was stricken by the pox. She spoke of things the villagers never heard of. She spoke of dreams of faraway lands, of the war. She spoke of phantoms.” Kara shivered.

“How do you know where she dwells?”

“She is ill. She has the black-pox. The villagers made her move out. She couldn’t go anywhere, she has nobody here. She caught the illness from tending to the sick whom nobody else would tend to. I think she is dying. I carry her food and water when I can, but I never go in. If anyone knew they would cast me out too.”

“Will you lead me there now?”

She nodded. We slipped out through the back yard and I let her lead the way. We walked past a dying vineyard and stunted tress. Distant roars of predators echoed down the mountains. She was a feisty one, this Kara. Only the brave or the foolish ventured out this time of the night alone and unarmed.

“Why do you seek this woman?” she asked me in hushed tones.

“I promised her I’d come back.”

“Oh you know her?”

Should I risk telling her the truth? Will she understand? Will she even believe if I told her?

“I know her.”

“I didn’t know she had any other family” Kara spoke as we climbed a rocky path.

I am not family. I wanted to say. I was her lover.

Shore Temple
Shore Temple | Source


We saw the cave as we climbed the small hill. The entrance was overgrown with shrubs.

“This is where I leave the food.” Kara pointed to a small rock table near the entrance. “I have never seen her in the last year. I do not think she ever ventures out. I do not even know if she is alive. For all I know the food and water could be stolen by anybody.”

I stood outside feeling the chill wind on my face. My heart was heavy. I wanted to turn around and go back. I wanted to keep the memories of her as they have been. I did not need new ones. I did not need painful ones.

“Are you…are you going in?” Kara looked afraid. “Can I come in too?”

“No Kara. You stay here. I need to see her alone.” My voice was grim, my chest tight.

“But the pox… Is it safe for you to…?”

I nodded as I took the sack from her. “You may go back now.”

“I prefer to stay here.” She crossed her arms in defiance.

“I do not know how long I will be. It is safer if you go back. Your Grandfather will be looking for you.”

“I wouldn’t worry about him, he is getting drunk with the peasants.”

I gathered a few dry twigs and branches and fashioned a torch. I lit it with Kara’s lamp and handed the lamp back to her. “Stay here. Shout if you need me.”

I stepped into the cave, the rancid smell of bats and dampness invading my nostrils. The torch cast long shadows on the interior. The floor was strewn with dry leaves and twigs.

I had a strange feeling in my head and my heart pounded as if threatening to explode. I never felt this way facing up to enemies in battlefield. Yet…



I saw a dim light ahead. The narrow cave expanded into a larger cavern. A howling wind blew through a small hole on the rock face. I saw a tallow candle on a hollow in the walls, its flame barely lighting the cavern. Ghostly shadows danced on the rocks.

I moved my torch closer. I could feel her presence.

I saw what looked like a bundle of rags. Then she moved as I went closer.

I saw her closed lids; their long lashes now gray. The hair was matted, face sunken in a bitter parody of what had once been. The skeletal arms hugging her chest, her body covered in a ragged woollen blanket. I could hear the harsh sibilance of her breathing.

I knelt down and impaled the torch onto a crack in the wall.

I sat down on the cold rock and touched her face.

The dry lips cracked open. Eyelids stayed closed.

“You came.” Her voice was a distant whisper.

“You called.” I choked.

I picked the gourd in one hand and gently eased her head on to my lap. I gave her some water, most of which trickled down the side. She opened her eyes. They hadn’t changed. They were still luminous, their blue orbs specked with floating gold. A tired smile crept on her face. I picked her hand and treasured it in mine.

“You are beautiful,” she said smiling. “You are more beautiful than I remember.”

“You are too.”

“Liar. Flattery will get you nowhere.”

I felt hot tears trickling down my cheeks. A golden droplet landed on her forehead.



She caressed my face with her hand. She pulled me closer, searching my eyes with hers. “I knew you would come. I called you in my dreams. I knew you wouldn’t have changed. I could see what you saw; I could feel what you felt. You kept talking to me in my sleep. It was like we were linked across eternity.”

She coughed. Rough, dry sounds racked her chest.

“I couldn’t keep my promise.”

“But you have. This is all I wanted. Now I can leave. In your arms.”

“I can help you to live.”

I bent down and kissed her lips.

She slowly shook her head. “I have had my fill. I want to go now. I know you could help me with that. I have heard what they say of the chosen ones.”

She caressed my face and wiped my tears away. “Show me the seal.”

I undid my cape and uncovered my shoulder. She looked at it and smiled. Her fingers traced its callused scar. “What will you do with eternity?”

“That’s the question I have been asking myself all these years.”

“You were always the restless one. You have the thirst in you. You travel on Destiny’s shoulder.”

She coughed some more. Pain twisted her face into a grimace.

“Help me,” she whispered. “Please.”

I held her close, rocking her gently. I called upon Arturus and felt my seal glow as if on fire. Warm blood coursed through my veins.

“Goodbye, my love,” I whispered into her ear. I knew what I had to do. I couldn’t refuse her.

“Good bye,” She muttered and I looked into those blue eyes one last time.

I bent down, my head throbbing with ancient chants. I pursed my lips and kissed her, taking her breath into my lungs. She sighed. A wisp of thin smoke rose from her lips and entered mine. I felt her go limp. The luminous specks in her eye went still. I drew out her final breath and felt her mingle in my blood. There she will stay forever.



Stepping outside the cave carrying her across my arms, wrapped in my cape, I froze as I saw them huddled in a group. I saw Kara struggling in the old man’s arms.


“We asked you to go away. Not meddle with the caverns.” One of the peasants stepped forward, his eyes glazed from the ale.


Soren spoke through gritted teeth. “Leave her in the cave. She will bring the cursed pox upon us.”


Kara sprang from his grip and ran towards me.


“Is she…?”


“Yes Kara. She is dead.”


One of the peasants was struggling to hold Kathrian who was snorting with anger. My harness and belongings were on his back.


“We do not want you to come back into the village. Ride away now.”


I laid her down on the earth and drew my sword. Moonlight reflected onto their worried faces. “She deserves a funeral. She deserves more than what you did to her. You wouldn’t grant her peace in life. Grant her the dignity in death.” I walked forward. “If anyone disagrees they shall have to face my sword.”


They slowly moved away. Fear and loathing were spitting from their eyes.


They stood around in a crowd, watching my every move. I started collecting twigs and dead branches. Kara knelt down and helped me. We stacked the wood around Rose.


I pulled Kara to my side. “This girl is harmless. She doesn’t have the pox. Harm her in any manner and I shall return to seek vengeance.”


I took the lamp from Kara’s shaking hands and lit the pyre.


Flames licked the frail form. Little twigs snapped and exploded showering the air with sparks. Mournful whisperings came floating down the mountain canyons. The dead souls were seeking a companion. I moved my sword in a sign. This one is mine, I whispered to them.


I walked up to Kathrian and unslung the Syrillan. I caressed its strings. Music melted into the wind.


The melody of the dead souls.


I sang softly, as flames rose up into the night sky. The huddled crowd watched and listened in silence.


I move

Like the flitting shadow

Of the journeying eagle

A solitary cloud

On the golden sky

Fast and slow

Fleeing and lingering

On life’s tortuous moments.



The world flees

My soul lingers

Disjointed, not keeping up

With the passage of time.



Forever cursed

(Or blessed)

With memories.

Lagging behind…

Savouring the moments

Or reliving the nightmares

A lazy wanderer.”



I rode away as the flames were dying. I did not know where this would lead me. I only knew I wouldn’t stay there for long.


Some journeys take forever. Forever is all I have.




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Comments 51 comments

Abby2034 profile image

Abby2034 6 years ago from New York, New York

Very good. I like it.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 6 years ago from UK Author

@Abby2034 - Thank you!


Website Examiner 5 years ago

This work is pretty monumental for HubPages. I enjoyed the depictions and dialog, well-written and profound.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 5 years ago from UK Author

Thank you, Website Examiner! Thanks for taking the time to read it and leave me a comment.


elayne001 profile image

elayne001 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

You are definitely a natural with words. I enjoy you imagery. Well done.


Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 5 years ago from North Carolina

Wow! I thought this was a 'short' story, LOL but, it went on and completely absorbed me. Normally, I don't read this particular genre. Your opening paragraphs caught my attention. I couldn't stop reading. I loved the poem at the end. It would have stood alone as a hub. But, very well put at the end of this piece of work. I voted it 'up' and awesome/beautiful. Thanks for sharing!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 5 years ago from UK Author

Yeah -sorry about the length- more of a novelette than a short story! I am glad you found it engaging. I have actually put the final poem as it's own hub! I know people have 'genre' restrictions and my dream is to break barriers and make people read a 'good' story irrespective of what underlying genre it is- like they did long before categorisations - glad you liked it. Thanks very much!


Website Examiner 5 years ago

Docmo, sorry to go off topic here. If you don't mind my asking, what is that logo doing on the left top corner of your avatar, and what does it mean?


Docmo profile image

Docmo 5 years ago from UK Author

It was when I completed 31 hubs in 19 days and found this logo in the ' 30 days 30 hubs ' hubchallengers forum I could use as my 'achievement sticker'!


Website Examiner 5 years ago

Now I see! I suspected something like this. Congratulations and thanks.


Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 5 years ago from North Carolina

Docmo, I've no problem crossing genres when the story is as engaging as yours is here. As for the length, no need to worry about it being too long. I've wondered about that same thing re: a story I had written that is over 4,000 words. It's hard for me to find a good place to break it and it would interrupt the flow of the story. Do you mind sharing how many words this story is?

Congratulations on your achievement-31 hubs in 19 days is impressive. I plan on doing the challenge in January. It's one of my writing goals.

Thanks for your fan mail-I read it this morning. :)


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 5 years ago from Deep South, USA

What a beautiful story, as well as the song lyrics at the end! Your masterful prose captures amazing imagery. I really enjoyed THE WANDERER and look forward to reading more of your work. JAYE


Docmo profile image

Docmo 5 years ago from UK Author

I am delighted you liked it. I know it is long and requires some time to read and it is always nice to see someone has taken the time and has enjoyed it too. Most appreciated!


Website Examiner 5 years ago

Docmo, I am concerned that my previous comment and question concerning your profile image may have offended or bothered you. I would have contacted you privately, but since that is not an option I take the liberty of commenting here. Feel free to delete my comment, if you like.

I should have explained that I find your profile image, as it now stands, to be highly original and a very classy presentation of you. And I felt that the superimposed image in the top left corner disrupted the balance, where your background is a beautiful scenery - a very pure image. That was my concern, and that was why I asked. Hopefully, this will resolve any issues.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 5 years ago from UK Author

Not at all... I am unsure why you thought it offended or bothered me me. It was a perfectly reasonable question ...and I answered it. And I also felt now that I've gone past the initial 30 days challenge I've taken the logo off and you're right the pic is fine as is without nay embellishment. Why are you concerned?


Website Examiner 5 years ago

I was concerned because - in hindsight - it could have appeared like a question asked out of curiosity, which was not the case. Whatever the case may be, I'm sure you have bigger fish to fry, and I wish you the best of luck with your writing endeavors!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 5 years ago from UK Author

Ah well, in either case, the harmony of the profile pic has been restored. (Now I feel like I should've been bothered

;-) but I am older and wiser to take offence on such matters...) anyway as a penance, you have to read another hub of mine and comment appropriately! ( Well you can't blame me for trying!)


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

This story has all the making of a successful movie production. The mysterious, magical, other-worldly ambiance that makes me sit on the edge of my seat as I greedily devour it's meaning. Love, honoring commitment, life, death, eternity...the age old questions about the desirability of immortality...it's all here and brilliantly so. I stand in awe, Mohan, and thank you for sharing this artful masterpiece.


ltfawkes profile image

ltfawkes 5 years ago from NE Ohio

Terrific. Wonderful description and imagery. Really, rather than a single novel, you've got the bones here of a series of novels - an intriguing character who is, after, eternal . . . :)

Good job.

L.T.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 5 years ago from UK Author

@Amy - thank you, I wanted to bend fantasy genre conventions and start with a 'love' story rather than a 'quest'. However this is a prelude to a longer work - maybe I'll write another Wanderer tale soon.

@ltfawkes- thank you! It's nice coming from a published writer. You've given me an idea for a trilogy...or maybe more. I'll have to try and make this different from 'highlander' echoes!


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 5 years ago from Hereford, AZ

This was a fantastic story. It left me with a melancholy feeling. He is so sad throughout the story. You can feel him struggling with the fact that he is eternal and not enjoying it. It was so sad that he could not come back to her as a young man, instead had to wait many years to return as an immortal. Don't worry about a Highlander comparison. This has none of the 'flavor' of that. I like those also but this is different.


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

I was directed here by Becky Kats and am so pleased she led the way.

This was a remarkable story, I was captured from the first word to the last.

brillian writing and voting up


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Absolutely superb. I am both stunned and awed.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Thanks to Becky's wonderful compliment and Rosemay and WillStarr for your appreciation of this story. This is now growing into a longer piece and I will share another chapter of this characters journey soon.


DanaTeresa profile image

DanaTeresa 4 years ago from Ohio

A beautiful melancholy story. As always I was completely absorbed in your world and pulled through by your briliant words.

Oddly, just like that last story, a word popped out at me - "dilapidated". Always liked that word. I love the sound of it. It's almost like I missed it and you brought it back to me. Strange how that happens.

I think that is enough of sleepy me making absolutley no sense. In my defense, you did set this up to be read as my bedtime story. And that is what I did.


theclevercat profile image

theclevercat 4 years ago from Massachusetts

It's my bedtime story too, and I'm glad I waited until I was ready to fall asleep. A perfect story to put me off to dreamland. Thank you! Up votes and beautiful as all your fiction.


shiningirisheyes profile image

shiningirisheyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

Amazing work of art my friend. You should be concentrating on making a living at writing. You are very good.

voting up up up and away!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Dana, Thank you dear for a wonderfully warm comment. Isn't it strange how we come to love some words. I go through phases. I currently like 'serendipity'!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Rachel, thanks for the visit and allowing me to'read' a bedtime story. I'm glad it sent you to dreamland. appreciate your visit, votes and comments.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

shininggirlseyes- Really appreciate your feedback and yes I do dream of quitting my day job and becoming a full time writer ( My patients may hunt me down, but hey I need to follow my writing dream!) Thank you!


DanaTeresa profile image

DanaTeresa 4 years ago from Ohio

I am attempting to write this on my phone at my lunch break. Here goes.... Serendipity is another one of my mostloved words. So much so that I read The Three Princes of Serendip as soon as I learned that it supposedly stemmed from that story. A wonderful tale. I shelled out quite a few bucks for an old library copy (it is out of print) and subsequently gave it to a friend as a well deserved gift.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Amazing- now the fact that you and I like the word 'serendipity' - isn't that itself a 'serendipity'!!!!

Or am I getting too deep!


DanaTeresa profile image

DanaTeresa 4 years ago from Ohio

It is amazing. If you have not read that story I mentioned you should. I think you would like it. :)


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Oh I know that story well. You see I was born in South India and started reading 1001 Arabian nights and various eastern fables at a very young age! Serendip is the ancient name for Sri Lanka which is an island country off the southern tip of India. I remember Three princes very well and I was even then thinking how they behaved very much like Sherlock Holmes in their journeys! You've given me a hub idea!


DanaTeresa profile image

DanaTeresa 4 years ago from Ohio

yes. They made quite a trio... you are welcome for the hub idea.... back to work for me. Can't wait to read your hub!


DanaTeresa profile image

DanaTeresa 4 years ago from Ohio

P.S. Referring to one of your earlier comments, I don't think there is such a thing as too deep. Not for me anyway. :)


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Me too :-)


slcockerham profile image

slcockerham 4 years ago from Tallahassee, Florida

Hey Docmo, Really a wonderful story! Thanks for this awesome read.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Thank you very much, slcockerham.


Paulspage 4 years ago

I absolutely loved this piece. Very inspiring.


storypulse 3 years ago

Good job. Really appreciate your attention to nature and physical objects—really important counterweights to the fantastic elements. Sad and at the same time life-affirming.


Daisy Mariposa profile image

Daisy Mariposa 3 years ago from Orange County (Southern California)

Mohan (Docmo).

You are aware, my friend, of how much I love your poetry. I have always said, however, that your short stories are my favorites. I can easily see this story being expanded into a full-length novel.


Thelma Alberts profile image

Thelma Alberts 3 years ago from Germany

An awesome melancholic story. I like it. It seems like I was brought to a beautiful nature in the middle of a forest where Cadfael lived and solved his detective masterpieces. I´m sure you know this telly series Cadfael. He always captured my attention.

Thanks for sharing this fantastic story Docmo. Voted up, up, up....and more;-)


jonmcclusk profile image

jonmcclusk 3 years ago from Cinnaminson, New Jersey

If we're not wandering with our legs, we're wandering with our hearts. Great story, Docmo, glad that Daisy Mariposa shared this so I could get lost in your words.


suzettenaples profile image

suzettenaples 3 years ago from Taos, NM

Beautiful and sad story all rolled up in one. Your words are beautiful and make the story engaging. What a sad tale. I take it the man is to wander infinitely. It took him 50 years but he came back to her. He kept his promise and arrived to help her die peacefully. It is a lovely story at the same time. I like the song he sang her very much. Great story!


Arish 3 years ago

The novel would do a terrific job... congrats for an amazing piece


Docmo profile image

Docmo 3 years ago from UK Author

@Daisy- thanks for sharing this ..much appreciated.

@Thelma- you are very kind- this is something I wrote many moons ago but kept in a draw hoping to resurrect it as a longer piece /novel. Glad you liked it.

@jon- indeed - and wandering with our hearts does take us to faraway places. appreciate your visit, friend.

@suzette: much appreciated, I am glad you liked this story.

@Arish- thank you. I hope to expand it with all the ideas floating in my head.


markdarmafall profile image

markdarmafall 3 years ago from Moundsville,WV

Wonderful story Docmo. It grasped me at the beginning and held my attention until the end. Thanks for the enjoyable read. Length is of no concern when the plot is as well laid out as you made it.

Mark


Homeplace Series profile image

Homeplace Series 2 years ago from Hollister, MO

Another very interesting story. Thank you for sharing here! ;-)


BillyZhang profile image

BillyZhang 2 years ago from Sydney, Australia

Great and interesting story. I thank you for sharing with the community.


Prabhjot Saini profile image

Prabhjot Saini 22 months ago from Delhi, India

interesting story.......... i like the way you wrote it....

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