The Wonderful Wizard of Reno...Part 3

The title page of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz,
The title page of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, | Source

Disclaimer...



Four out of Five Dentists agree...Starting here Will Lead to Tooth Decay and Insanity. They also agree that the Fifth Dentist...Is Just an Asshole... Click HERE to Begin the Tale at the Beginning...


I Hope you Enjoy.








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Toto...
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Please Leave Your Message at The Beep... (Beep)...”Um...Midget...”

I’m clutching my pudding when Dorothy comes up to me.

“What’s that about?” She asks with a quizzical look on her face.

“What do you mean?” I reply embarrassed. I move the pudding behind my back...

“Betty, the Smoking-Hot, Good Witch of your Imagination? She seems special to you.” Dorothy says matter-of-factly. “She gave you pudding. You like her pudding...” She taunts...

“Well, you know...narrative need,” I hedge before admitting, “I do like her pudding though...”

Our conversation is interrupted by the approach of Toto (the, slightly plump, Russian Dwarf hamster), Scarecrow (the Tweaker), Cowardly Lion (Creative Voice), and the Tin man (Internal CD Player). They are accompanied by a coterie of Munchkins...

Applejacks, the My Little Pony, which accompanies us, flitters about with a sense of purpose...

Scarecrow was crashing. We could tell. He had the wild eyes associated with one who was thinking about the importance of that next sack of methamphetamines. He would sell his grandma right now. I would need to keep an eye on him...

Toto, Cowardly Lion, and Tin man broach the matter at hand.

“We need to beat feet.” Announces Toto. He was wise to the ways of this odd land and so we took him at his word.

Scarecrow notices my pudding. His tweak high was crashing and he would need some sugar if he was going to continue the journey. He comes at me all smarmy...like Tweakers do...

“Hey buddy. Could I have that pudding? Do you have a cigarette, ten dollars, or a car-battery I can sell?”

As he preemptively reaches for my pudding I pull out a lighter, flick it, and jam it towards his face before telling him...

“If you touch my pudding I will set your face on fire. I’m not even lying.” He backs away insulted before hitting up Creative Voice for a smoke...

Creative Voice starts dancing around like the Cowardly Lion...throwing slow punches towards Scarecrow...

“Get away...Get away I tell you...”

“Get lost asshole.” Chimes in the Tin man...

Scarecrow sits on a rock while forlornly staring off into space. While staring (forlornly) off into space...a tooth falls out of his head and hits the dirt. He absently picks it up and places it in his shirt pocket with the two that fell out yesterday...


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The Silliness of This...DWARFS the Imagination...

“Dorothy...you have kids, right?” I ask. Upon her affirmation of this fact, I relentlessly continue. “OK, so...well, you must have seen this movie a lot...what happens next?”

I am viewed with askance by Dorothy. “Are you kidding me? You’re four years older than me...you must have seen it, at least, as many times as me. They showed it every year around the holidays.”

“Yeeeeah...but a lot of hallucinogens have been taken since that last viewing and this story.” I admit. “Many of them by me...” I further clarify the record...

Dorothy considers my past stories. “OH...so that explains it...?”

“Explains what?” I ask, genuinely curious, about the answer.

“Well, you’re a writer...sort of...” Dorothy reasons, “Why not just re-watch the movie. Writers call that type of thing...research.”

“Yes...rather...no. In fact...let’s call that Plan No.” I say. “There’s a lot of singing and dancing in that one...”

“You do realize that The Wonderful Wizard of Oz is a musical, right?” Dorothy asks the question slowly...I think...to make sure that I understood the words...

“Not on my watch it isn’t.” I declare as it occurs to me that I might need to watch Kelly...just as closely as I needed to watch Scarecrow, albeit, for different reasons.

The notion of a musical didn’t seem to concern her as much as it should...

Sounding like they’d just been released from a trachea ward for midgets...or was it Dwarves? ...the coterie of Munchkins that accompanied the guys over...burst out in song....

“OOOOH...WELL...WE’RE....THE LOLLIPOP KIDS...THE LOLLIPOP KIDS...”

“OH HELL NO!” I shout. They come to a ragged and jagged halt. They begin muttering and casting dirty looks in my direction. I didn’t care. This wasn’t going to turn into a musical on my watch...

“Come on,” I announce. “Let’s beat feet out of here.” We leave...

The Munchkins let loose with a ragged cheer...

“Yaay...”


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Noted Hubber and All Around Guy...Alastar Packer
Noted Hubber and All Around Guy...Alastar Packer | Source

Is MiNi-Palooza Midget Based? I thought I read That Once...

We were meandering along a yellow-brick road that was badly in need of repair. Fixing pot holes, resurfacing, and ‘street-improvements’ were the order of the day. These projects are being conducted by City of Reno employees...It serves as a timely reminder that this story is (essentially) set in Reno...

“Oh yeah,” says Cowardly Lion, “This story is (essentially) set in Reno, huh?”

“Yes.” I confirm in a self-satisfied tone. “You see how I just mixed that timely reminder in there? Clever that...”

“Good form.” Agrees Cowardly Lion.

Kelly stares at us like we’re nuts. “You know, I’ve read that the only purpose of dialogue is to move plot along...”

“It can also be used to establish character.” Points out Tin man. “I’m not sure if my music establishes character. Dialogue is best for that.” He begins humming “If I Only had a Heart...”

“This must be quite liberating for you then,” Kelly says. “Do you have anything in particular you want to say?”

Tin man (Internal CD Player) gives this some serious consideration before replying, “No.” He returns to humming, “If I only Had a Heart...”

As we round the bend, we see a Conestoga wagon drawn up in a clearing. We approach cautiously. We hear voices from within...

“I wrote The Wonderful Wizard of Oz to serve as a political parable for the Populist Movement.” States the first voice in a definitive manner. “You will notice...each character represents a segment of society during that time period. Oh...the movie was, indeed, a disservice. Far too much singing... Not a lot of singing went on in the 1890s...”

“And so the doomed populist alliance between Eastern industrial workers and Western farmers is illustrated by the roles of the Tin man and Scarecrow, respectively?” Says a familiar voice...

Kelly and I look at each other in amazement, “Nuh-uh!” We rush the door...

Inside the wagon are two chairs and a small table which sports a crystal ball. In one chair was L. Frank Baum pontificating on his motivations for penning his original book. His, however, wasn’t the voice Kelly and I recognized. That voice was attached to the body standing in front of the other chair...noted Hubber and historian...Alastar Packer.


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How Terribly Awkward...On at Least Three Different Levels. Dwarf...

Awkwardness...Number one...

A diligent scholar of history, Alastar effortlessly blends historical facts with a narrative flair that is truly awe inspiring. The back-blast of the cannon is fully experienced by the reader after being placed squarely in the heat of Battle at Camden or Eutaw Springs. He is also a conscientious chronicler of the paranormal.

His was an impressive Curriculum Vitas; including, a stint as a contest judge, for the prestigious Hubsville, Patron of the Arts Contest.

I did not win that particular contest and, this fact, was the basis of Creative Voice’s role as the Cowardly Lion (you may remember from Part One) being afraid of Contest Judges.

This, however, was not the basis of ‘Awkwardness...Number one’ ...Nope. I very well think that MAY be the basis of ‘Awkwardness...Number two’ ...but not ‘Awkwardness...Number one’. Nope.

‘Awkwardness...Number one’ was based on the fact that Alastar was standing there with only one leg in his pants. Now...I had heard that Contest Judges put their pants on “one leg at a time,” and I have certainly made my peace with that.

The question remains...why was he doing that here in a Conestoga wagon, in the middle of my story, with L. Frank Baum in attendance? Awkwardness...Number one...

“You’re an asshole Thomas.” Alastar states after reading the last paragraph.

Kelly giggles...

Awkwardness...Number two...

The Cowardly Lion sees Alastar and his blood boils. He comes running over...

“Put ‘em Up!! Put ‘em Up!!” The Cowardly Lion challenges Alastar...

Alastar smashes him in the face and drops him to the ground. After about twenty minutes, he revives and I inform him that we needed to switch some stuff around...he wasn’t afraid of contest judges anymore...

After all...there may be another contest one day...

*Pop-pop*

The Cowardly Lion reverts to Creative Voice.

“Hey Kelly. How Yooou Doing...?” Creative Voice says to Kelly. ”I dig flannel...”

Kelly giggles...

Alastar finishes putting on his pants...

Far off in the distance...we hear the Munchkins let loose with a ragged cheer...

“Yaay...”

“You’re an asshole Thomas.” Alastar states after reading how the Munchkins responded to him putting on his pants....

Kelly giggles...

“Be that as it may,” I willingly admit. “We should smoke some weed.”

“You mean?” Asks a suddenly excited, and forgiving, Alastar.

“Yes. The finest rolled blunt of Blue-Berry Yum-Yum Bud!”

Alastar and Creative Voice shriek like nine-year old girls at a Justin Bieber concert as we pile into the wagon. I consider deleting the reference to Alastar shrieking like a nine-year old girl...

After all...there may be another contest one day...

I get distracted...

“Hey can I get in on that?” Asks a nervous Scarecrow...

“NO!” Choruses, Alastar, myself, Kelly, Creative Voice, Tin Man, and Toto. Applejacks doesn’t express an opinion...

“Fuck off.” Contributes L. Frank Baum.

“You have a substance abuse problem.” I inform him. “It’s probably best if you were not tempted...go commune with nature of something.” I slam the door and lock it. Scarecrow wanders off into the woods...


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So...two Midgets Walk into a Bar...

Awkwardness...Number three...

In the process of hot-boxing the shit out of the wagon...we discussed where the story was going and what role Creative Voice should play in it...this leads to Awkwardness...Number three...

“We have to have a Cowardly Lion.” Says Dorothy. “We just need him to be afraid of something else...other than Alastar, I mean.”

Alastar passes the blunt to Tin man before coughing...and then saying...

“Surely Thomas, you must have, any number, of deep-seated fears that he can represent throughout the rest of the story?”

“Well sure...” I hesitate...

Writing is supposed to be a soul cleansing process, but I hadn’t planned on having a cleansing enema of my fears and insecurities today and when having a cleansing enema...it’s always best to schedule it in advance.

Awkwardness...Number three...

“He can represent your fears associated with Betty, the Smoking-Hot, Good Witch of your Imagination!” Exclaims Kelly. “You are aware that she’s WAY out of your league, aren’t you...?”

“I have awareness.” I acknowledge absently while pondering how NOT to acquiesce to this idea. I mean...I wouldn’t want Betty reading this and thinking I’m a dork or something...there’s plenty of time for her to learn that on her own...she’s a very smart girl...

“I think narrative need would be better served by having him be afraid of Serb-speaking Norwegians with Russian accents.” I announce.

*Pop-pop*

Creative Voice reverts to The Cowardly Lion.

“Put ‘em Up Norwegians! Put ‘em Up!”

“Have you even read my book?” L. Frank Baum asks disgustedly while camping on the blunt....

“No.” I admit before complaining. “Stop camping on that blunt. This ain’t no K.O.A.” L. Frank Baum takes two quick hits before passing the blunt along to Kelly...

Internal CD Player had never gotten high before. He’s a 1990s media device without lips, lungs, or fingers with, which, to hold a joint. As Tin man...with lips, lungs, and fingers...he was getting crazy fucked up. He begins playing some righteous improvisational Jazz...It’s a nice accompaniment to the discussion...


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Didcot Railway Centre 3738 departs in a cloud of steam.
Didcot Railway Centre 3738 departs in a cloud of steam. | Source
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...And they get their Asses Kicked...After All...It’s a Dwarf bar...

An hour later, we pile out of the wagon like Sean Penn’s character, Jeff Spicoli, in Fast Times at Ridgemont High...the escaping Blue-Berry Yum-yum smoke rushes around us and wafts into the air...

“OK. So where was that one thing we said earlier that was found near a tree?” I asked.

“Huh?” Answers Alastar.

“What?” Mumbled a few others...

“Lizard!” Bursts out Kelly with a laugh...

Tin man adds to the confusion, “Sharron Angle looks like she has a gizzard!” He lets loose with some steam from his hat...

We all start laughing...

Narrative flow slows down for awhile...

Sadly...all good things end. Our peak passes as we focus...and made some observations...

Far off in the distance...we hear the Munchkins let loose with a ragged cheer...

“Yaay...”

Scarecrow was gone...

Dorothy was bare foot...nice feet...but still...where are the Ruby slippers?

“Hey?” I observe. “You have pretty feet...but where are the Ruby slippers? I think we need those...?”

“What the fuck?” Says a surprised Kelly.

“Scarecrow!” We all reached the same conclusion.

“Let’s kill him.” Decides L. Frank Baum coldly.

“BURN HIM!” Call out Cowardly Lion, Tin man, and Alastar... “BURN HIM!”

Applejacks starts flying around in distress. Toto notices two separate trails heading in the same general direction into the woods. One trail is composed of fallen pieces of straw...the other? Puppy chow mix?

We follow...

(End of Part 3)

(Part 1) (Part 2)(Part 4)(Part 5) (Part 6)(Part 7)(Part 8)(Part 9)(Part 10)

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Comments 36 comments

Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

So funny.. Thanks for a good laugh this Christmas Morn.

I voted up.

Merry Christmas


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Leaping Lizards! Omg!

Merry Christmas Thomas:) still sitting here LMAO! Can't wait to see what Alastar has to say:) LOL LOL LOL.

I do love me some flannel! You are hilarious and I can't even imagine how you write this stuff...it's up and everything. Giggles....!.


nemanjaboskov profile image

nemanjaboskov 4 years ago from Serbia

Thomas, Part 3 started off just weirdly enough, and proved to be weird all through the end. So, I voted it Up and everything else, it even got a useful vote, don’t know why :-)

Now, to get to the business... I'm glad you incorporated the Norwegians we talked about into this part, and I was really looking forward to seeing Vladimir here. However, I see that a story went in a different direction, a direction in which our friend Vladimir would probably not have been the perfect choice...

Scarecrow really is a piece of shit, and I hope he burns when you find him, hopefully in Part 4 :) I can't believe he would sink so low, but that's what Tweakers do, right?

I think Tin Man (Internal CD Player) is finally beginning to establish himself as a great character, playing and saying what he wants and when he wants it, and enjoying the sounds coming from his own trumpet - which is nice to see.

I hope you find some slippers for Dorothy, as her, as you say pretty feet, will freeze in Reno’s cold weather - this story is (essentially) set in Reno, right?

I’m really enjoying myself while reading your short insanity-stories, and I am eagerly awaiting the next part.

Also, I’d like to wish you and all of our friends who are enjoying these stories as much as I am a very Merry Christmas!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Deborah...

I am very pleased that I was able to inspire a Christmas Morning chuckle out of you! No...perhaps this little tale is not (strictly speaking) a holiday tale but it's the only story I had going this morning!

I'm glad you liked it and have a great and safe holiday!

Thomas


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Kelly...

Merry Christmas my friend! Oh yeah...Alastar? Hmm...that SHOULD be interesting! I am not going to lie...this is just getting weird. Shall we see what happens next...?

Have a great day with your family Kelly!

Thomas


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Nemanja...

Merry Christmas my good friend. I hope, you, your girl friend, and family are doing wonderful!

Now...Business...Yes...The Norwegians have made their appearance and I do not believe that Mr. Putin is a smoker...soooo....

Also...you may have noticed the protesters in Moscow over the past few weeks...I must somehow figure out how to fit that in...Thus...Vladimir shall be pushed to Parts 4 or 5 at this point.

We are hunting down Scarecrow. He will be killed when we find him...or not? You are correct...that is what tweakers do!

I'm glad you are appreciating Internal CD player's development...it's a good story for him! As for Kelly's (pretty) feet...yeah...it is cold here, in what is, (essentially) Reno....

I'm glad you are still on the ride my friend!

Have a safe and happy holiday!

Thomas


nemanjaboskov profile image

nemanjaboskov 4 years ago from Serbia

Hi, Thomas.

Thanks for the holiday wishes, but I have to say that I'll keep those wishes locked away for another two weeks or so, and then I'll cash them in :)

Anyway, thanks for the wishes, my dear friend, and thanks for taking this ride into the bottomless pit of weirdness - only you are capable of such an art form...


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Nemanja...

Those holiday well-wishes come without an expiration date so enjoy them when you need them!!

The ride is my pleasure! Understanding that SOME people wanted 'actual' gifts...I gave them part 3 of this nonsense instead!

Thomas


nemanjaboskov profile image

nemanjaboskov 4 years ago from Serbia

Thank you very much, Thomas!

Yes, I have also heard that there are people who want to receive real gifts during this time of the year... Well, we are a long way form earning anything in Hubsville, so they'll just have to wait until we make it big in this town.

Anyway, I'll take "this nonsense" over an actual gift any day of the week :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Oh we want to see what's going on next! (Me and Dorothy!) lol. Also I did see a KOA right in Vegas...that's the economy trio right there:) haha

I want those dam slippers back! I don't care I have to set Scarecrow on fire myself - those are mines! Lol


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Nemanja...

Outstanding!! I now have your gift idea for next year! I just hope it's not (Part 107)of this same story!! I will need to write more/smoke less in part 4 to make some headway on this bad boy.

Thanks,

Thomas


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Kelly...

The slippers are a dilemma, wrapped in a floured tortilla, and dipped in clam sauce...

All I know at this point is we are walking through the woods...pretty high...and looking for blood...um...straw. K.O.A...may come back...

Thomas


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 4 years ago from North Carolina

Uh, Thomas; is your life insurance up to date my good man. Ha-ha, did I scare the cowardly Lion again? Hope not cause its just a josh and Alastar is honored by your creative attentions my friend. Now, just a few minutes while I go back back to the rest of the story.

Whew! And double wow. What a Blueberry Yum Yum fantasy. Mr T if you were a pretty woman like Kelly I'd kiss your ass-ets for the laughs in this one. Your a genius ole boy and definitely keep the ball rollin with the Oz. Hmmm, would it be a conflict of interest if you were voted up across the board? Well, interesting & funny are givens, beautiful for including the lovely Dorothy, and awesome for a great Christmas trip for all!!!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca

First off... I have to say... you must have gotten serious about your pudding after I tried to steal it. I mean - trying to light scarecrow on fire - that is a bold move that definately adds depth to this story. And then... I also want to state - fear for the Cowardly lion.... irony would make him afraid of pudding. Hmmmm... and the ruby red shoes - good luck. I got them and not giving them back ;p

Funny hub!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Alastar...

Why hello my good man. I am laughing at the notion that my life insurance might be up to date...my CAR insurance isn't even up to date...chuckle, chuckle...

No worries on Cowardly Lion...unless of course you are a Serb-speaking Norwegian with a Russian accent? You're not right?

I do not believe it would be a conflict of interest my good friend but I am slightly offended...you failed to mention 'useful'. No, no...It's OK...most people do...

I relied on your good nature and sense of humor for this one my friend...now...keep your pants on and let's find them slippers!

Merry Christmas!

Thomas

PS...Yup...dems just jokes...


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Stacy...

Merry Christmas. Well...with the wrinkles you threw into this plot line...some ironing may be required. That said...I would rather not add any elements (of a Freudian nature) that might interfere with the enjoyment of my pudding.

Further pudding news...At the time of the (ahem) altercation between us in my front yard over (said) pudding...I already had introduced the face burning incident. I could hardly have you scamper off with it in a comment box in Part 2...when it appears in the opening line of Part 3. Not to mention..it IS Betty pudding...

So right now I am leading a mob into the woods that is intent in tearing Scarecrow apart (Kelly is HELLA pissed). Scarecrow's blood...er...straw...will be on your hands my friend...

Thanks!

Thomas


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 4 years ago from North Carolina

Read X 2 + links= "useful." We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful Thomas of Oz.......


jhamann profile image

jhamann 4 years ago from Reno NV

It may be time for your crew to find their true destiny's in the many layers of Reno's Hell. Currently they find themselves without shoes (gambling or drug related) and too high to figure out a proper sense of place (a common Reno problem.) The well needed roto-rooter of certain Nevada politicians makes this story useful! Jamie


lmmartin profile image

lmmartin 4 years ago from Alberta and Florida

I did read this, but got so lost I decided not to comment -- and then did anyway...


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Alastar...

My suspicion is that I have elicited a "pity-useful". I gladly accept it!

(laughing)

Thomas


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Jamie...

(laughing) ...yes...we are unshod-den and lurching through the wilderness...next stop...the bowels of hell...(i.e. back to Reno!)

I like to think Nevada politicians are trembling in their latest scandalous behavior...fearful of the next shoe (ruby slipper)dropping. I doubt it...but still...

Thanks!

Thomas


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Lynda...

Uh-oh. Alright...did you risk tooth decay and insanity by jumping into the story here? I hope that happened because the alternative is that you have read all three parts (thus far) and have no clue where I went.

If that were the case...Then I did, indeed, fail you my friend and I apologize!

Hope you had a great holiday!

Thomas


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca

Oh no... Scarecrow... not the scarecrow... lol.... glad to see you are able to iron out the wrinkles elsewhere... lol


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Stacy....

"Oh Scarecrow...I hate you most of all!!"

At this point I would characterize it more as pulling the sheet really tight to remove the appearance of any actual wrinkles...then an actual ironing.

In writing...as in fashion...that usually works for me!

See ya in part 4 or 5!

Thomas


jhamann profile image

jhamann 4 years ago from Reno NV

I see you are back up in the running!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

jhamann...

(laughing) Yup...I did my part fixing...they did their part re-instating!


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 4 years ago

So Toto is a mouse and a dog, huh?

Yes, The Wizard of Oz was made into a musical a long time ago. The novel was once made into a straight drama movie. Cary Grant was in it. It was quite a who's who list in the cast.

Too bad Baum has turned malicious.


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Flora...

Toto (in this tale) is Russian Dwarf Hamster...but he does look like a mouse, huh? Now...I had no idea it was presented as a straight drama...interesting that. I think this will be a straight dramatic piece as well.

(laughing) Yes...L. Frank Baum seems in a bit of a bad mood...

Thomas

PS...parts four and five are holding steady on the the staying published front! Yay!


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 4 years ago

oh, I saw the picture and he looked like a mouse to me. I am not really familiar with hamsters.


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Flora...

I would not consider myself an expert either...but my ex-wife REALLY wanted a Russian Dwarf Hamster (yeah...I dunno...I got her one...) Anyways...that's how I knew they existed and it ties in with my Dwarf theme. Kind of...

Thomas


phdast7 profile image

phdast7 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Another great one! Terrific stuff. I can't begin to compete with you humor wise, but I do humbly consider myself near the top of the unofficial hierarchy of word-smiths and wort-meisters, so...all your many, many words were eloquent, hysterical, and so apropos, but my three favorite words from Reno 3 were......coterie....askance.....acquiesce.

I can now die happy. :) Thank you. Theresa


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Theresa...

Well I most certainly hope this dying thing doesn't happen too soon! Although...I will start putting together a pithy eulogy of course...

"With askance, the coterie of mourners acquiesce to a funeral without liquor" Well...this is just a first draft...again...apologize to the cat for me!

Thanks!

Thomas


phdast7 profile image

phdast7 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Not bad for a first draft using the "three" words. :)

The cat is fine. I have four - Sebastian, Stacia, Lukatchka, Katya - I lean toward Russian/Polish/German names - all rescue animals, but they are spoiled rotten, because my three sons all have homes of their own, so the cats don't have to compete for my attention any more. But I will respectfully convey your apologies. :)


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Theresa...

Rescue animals are the absolute best! Thank you for saving four of them!

I will work on the 'three words' but still..my heart isn't in it so...just don't die. OK...that's handled...

Thanks,

Thomas


David Warren profile image

David Warren 4 years ago from Nevada

I'm guessing your mind goes a million miles per minute, awesome sense of humor and great writing! I better stick to three parts per day or I won't get anything else accomplished. Voted up and awesome!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

David...

I'm not (technically speaking) a Doctor...but I would agree that you don't want to exceed more than three portions of this tripe in any twenty-four hour period. It should be noted...effects on people's ability to "Operate Heavy Machinery" is, somewhat, inconclusive. Please proceed with caution.

Have a great day my friend...enjoy this Reno sunshine...under a blanket...still kind of cold...

Thomas

PS...thanks for the Up and awesome...THAT is up and awesome!

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