The Worlds Most Beautiful Woman

The most beautiful women in the world-my daughters and their mom- Source: an independent, unbiased, more inclusive, recent survey
The most beautiful women in the world-my daughters and their mom- Source: an independent, unbiased, more inclusive, recent survey

Today, People's Magazine crowned the worlds most beautiful woman. You have to wonder how such dubious responsibility has come to fall on a magazine already burdened with so much of the world on their meager plate. I mean, did someone ask them to figure this out? Was this really something women everywhere wanted or needed to know?

In 2007, there were approximately, 3,500,115,087 women on our planet. Are they all anxiously awaiting the answer to one of life's most irrelevant questions. Is she or isn't she the one? Assuming "People" even had a staff large enough to accommodate the painstaking perusal of three and a half billion photos, they'd be brain dead and bug eyed when the inevitable dead line, came begging for their emancipated and unbiased vote.

After asking my wife, how long ago, "People" requested her most current picture, she cast the same bewildered look I got from a Swahili housewife on Skype. As a matter of fact, I have been unable to contact a single woman, out of the possible 3,500,115,087 women anywhere on the planet, that have ever received any request from People magazine. It must be like trying to win the lottery without buying a ticket!

So, just how did "People" select Beyonce as the "worlds most beautiful woman"? What criteria did they use to determine that my wife was not? I can not answer the question that is surely, even as I write, causing women around the world to lose much needed sleep.

Given the methodology used by People, I have conducted a more inclusive survey. It is, I am afraid, one that shall continue the controversy in every house but mine. Although, others will voice some fault in my selective method , it does not matter. It shall never come to bear upon the tranquility that rains upon my life, for I am, according to at least one survey, married to the most beautiful woman that has ever walked the planet and that survey, is the only one she reads.

Comments 47 comments

jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines

Can I nominate my wife for this award next year?


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS

You ARE a genius, Alan! That's so good!

If Beyonce receives such an accolade from her husband, THAT is something to treasure!

Thanks for another fun read!


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

Hi jpcmc! If you wait till next year, you made have to find a wife to nominate!


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

Good morning dear Nellieanna! My genious is precipitated by survival. I am sure that George also conducted such mandatory surveys and I know they brought tranquility to his life. (:


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS

Ah, yes - but you're just too modest, perhaps. You're a considerate kind of a guy to the core is what I perceive. And I'm sure she deserves the nomination.

George may have thought he needed extra insurance, because he excelled any mandatory or annual surveys by just generously offering regular spontaneous praise & appeciation, even including some 'implied' praise without just stating it, like saying he maybe needed to send a bodyguard along when I went out to the store looking good to him - stuff like that. Came across as very sincere and made me feel valued and appreciated, of course.

Fact was, though - tranquility wasn't at risk, perhaps that is rather rare, though. Maybe the alternative just didn't get a toehold in the door due to the diligence? Whatever, it was good - and we both knew about the difference between the possible extremes; so that the good one was well worth the diligence - if that contributed to the preservation of the goodness. It does take two to tango, though, as they say.


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

Just tried the tango alone! You were right. It is raining here in Oregon today. I think I shall find more of the mud, come tomorrow. If not, my puddle shall simply grow!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS

haha - So will you wallow in your puddle if it simply grows? The spectacle was well worth the admission!

I guess there are various dances one CAN do alone, but they're not nearly so lovely as the tango properly done. Besides - trying to tango solo might result in falling on one's head; there are so many of its positions requiring strong partner support, and they're the very ones that make it the tango & undoubtedly, result in the popularity of that adage.

Well - it's dry and getting quite unseasonably warm here; - will probably reach 90 & taper off only into the high 70s during the night. Just hoping our coming summer doesn't vie with last summer for heat records. I stubbornly resist turning on the A/C till absolutely necessary, so am already in light summery clothing, have windows all open and ceiling fans going wherever I go around the house, though they ruffle up my wings a bit - a reasonable trade-off, though.

I see one of my pesky squirrels (who all know me by both sight & voice) enjoying the day, digging up the last of his stash of winter's acorns in my yard, of those that haven't taken root to try to grow where unwanted, at squirrelly choice! I call them all 'Rascal'. They know, too, but are not intimidated in the least. Probably think it's a term of endearment! :-)


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

Be well butterfly! Be wary of the ceiling fans. Gardens are safer.


randi 4 years ago

Well said! I hope your survey makes the rounds.


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

thanks randi and welcome to my hub!


Genna East profile image

Genna East 4 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

“I mean, did someone ask them to figure this out?” I couldn’t help but laugh at this and other gems in your hub.

My reaction to the “most beautiful woman in People Magazine,” was how nice, but who the heck really cares when -- as you stated so eloquently:

“I am, according to at least one survey, married to the most beautiful woman that has ever walked the planet and that survey, is the only one she reads.”

And there it is.

This is what matters in our lives; the love we cherish is the beauty within, and that’s everything.

Excellent hub, Arb. :-)


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

Hi Geena! All the beautiful people I know are stopping by today. Somehow, I just knew that "you" knew just where beauty lies. Thanks for reading and as always,for encouraging my humor!


Ali Berry Billingsley 4 years ago

Love this dad...well done!


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

thanks sweetie


Rodric29 profile image

Rodric29 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

You romantic you! I hope you use those lines often. I am still working on my wife as I think she is the most beautiful and talented person in the world, so I married her.

She mentioned the People's magazine issue. I think the woman looks good for a show, but my wife looks good forever! Voted up and shared.


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

I suspect you will be married for many years young friend and I will pray that it is so.


phdast7 profile image

phdast7 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Alan - After reading this Hub, it suddenly became clear to me...you have the intellect and lexicon of a philosopher, the emotional soul of a poet, and the manners, character, and courteous speech of a knight!

Chivalry, contrary to popular opinion, is not dead. It makes perfect sense that you have been married for 43 years and that peace and love reign in your home. :)

This was a very entertaining Hub. Would that more men would follow your lead. :) Theresa


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

I will frame this, hang it above her side of the bed and have her repeat it once a day!


ibbarkingmad profile image

ibbarkingmad 4 years ago from Utah

The most beautiful women in the world are the ones who are in my life (and I think this goes for every person). Beauty is more than skin deep. Those women placed on the most beautiful list are simply celebrities. I tend to ignore everything People magazine says simply because they are so shallow.

Thank you for publishing this hub!


phdast7 profile image

phdast7 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

What a clever rejoinder (I forgot to mention that you are quick-witted and funny). So I take it you were not unhappy with my description? :) Well, it was well deserved.

Heading off to sleep. The only way to beat the debilitating heat and humidity of Georgia is to work in the yard between six and ten. This takes real reserves of determination on my part. I am most decidedly by nature a "night person." :) Good night.


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

Thanks ibbarkingmad, appreciate the visit and comment and of course, you are right.


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

Hi Theresa, I have comments all over the place and I am not getting notifications. I get about half. Don't know why! If I talked with you daily, I would need an ego deflator. My wife says I'm becoming insufferable!


phdast7 profile image

phdast7 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Well, then I must be more sparing with my comments; we certainly don't want you to be insufferable! :)

About your notifications, I am no expert on the vagaries of HP, but are you checking the little box on the bottom left that indicates you want a notification whenever there is activity on that hub (of course then you get notified about every comment or at least I do - but it doesn't bother me, I glance and then go on).

Also, are you sure you are following the people Hubbers) you want to read, if not you won't receive notifications when they post or comment on a hub.

Lastly, I have found there is a little bit of a time delay with the notification thing. A couple of times I have read and responded to a comment, go on to something else and 60 seconds later I get a notification that I have a NEW comment.

I have now exhausted the sum total of my knowledge about the inner workings of HP. At times I am irritated, but mostly grateful that such a platform and community exists.

Back to clipping the bushes. It is sad, trimming and shaping and sculpting bushes is enjoyable (and cathartic), but then...you have to clean up the big mess on the ground! I am waiting for the invention that resolves that problem/ :)


phdast7 profile image

phdast7 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Well Alan,what can I say? According to HP records, you are not following me as a Hubber, so I am sure that is what is playing havoc with all your notifications. :)


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

I have never noticed a little box! I shall peruse my apparent oversight and make adjustment. Thanks.


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

duh!


marriedwithdebt profile image

marriedwithdebt 4 years ago from Illinois

I want to congratulate you for having such a beautiful family. I have no reason to disagree with your title.


shea duane profile image

shea duane 4 years ago from new jersey

love this!


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

Thank you for the visit and the comment. be well


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

Thank you for the visit!


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 4 years ago

Please tell your wife that I asked who the three young triplet ladies are in the picture! ....:-}....Excellent tribute to the MORE beautiful women in the world you lucky man you!, "Peoples" picks are soo plastic !. Voted up!


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

Thanks ahorseback, I count my blessings daily! I will relay your message. It will make her day, I am sure.


tsmog profile image

tsmog 4 years ago from Escondido, CA

Arb I bow to you sire. I hope you do not mind. I placed this hub at pinterest on a board titled Pin Up Girls or My Concept of 'Woman.' Those three you adore are in good company along with Madam Marie Curie, Mother Teresa, and Harriet Tubman.

Of course there is Ann Margaret, Sophia Loren, Julie Andrews, and Wonder Woman too. Helen Keller, Barbara Stanwyck, and others. I've neglected it of late, yet I am proud it now adorns the winner(s) of a particular survey, "the most beautiful woman that has ever walked the planet and that survey, is the only one she reads."

Tim


klanguedoc profile image

klanguedoc 4 years ago from Canada

Awesome. You should send this to someone at "people".


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

Hello Tim and thank you for so gracious a comment. I suspect we men all keep a pin up girl somewhere amidst our treasure. When we find that we are married to her, then life has been exceedingly good. BTW, Barbara Stanwyck tells me that you have around as long as me!


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

Hi there Klanguedoc! I don't think they can read. They certainly can't see. Thanks for reading and for taking time to comment. Most appreciated.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Arb, you are a genius, (to quote Nellieanna) from above. You are also the tiniest bit biased, but no matter. I guess my daughters can live with runner-ups to your fine family.


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

Good morning mckbirdbks! Thank you for your gracious and understanding acceptance of runner up! BTW, I would like to order Maria's book. Perhaps you could email me at alanr1228@hotmail.com with order info!


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 4 years ago from North Carolina

Thought those were three Hollywood star illuminates and i kid you not. The lovely ladies are something so much brighter anyway. Loved your hub here, Arb; brought a smile and that's a fine thing to bring these days.


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

The world seems short on smiles and long on frowns theses days. Looking for things to smile about is usually worth the labor. Thanks Alistar, it was a pleasure having you here!


ImKarn23 profile image

ImKarn23 4 years ago

People Shmeeple! LOVE this, Arb, but - having trouble figuring out which one's the mama?

Just cause someone's rich and famous does NOT make them a 'most beautiful person IN THE WORLD'!

the arrogance of these folks who can't seem to stop patting themselves and each other on the backs...

Guess they need it to feel better about themselves?

whateva'

obscurity is beautiful too!

Well done, my friend - i love shining light on the idiocies of society!


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

Thank you leslie, I "feel" were on a first name basis by now and I give great liberty to feeling. Thanks for reading and like you, I detest being involuntarily manipulated.


c-m-hall profile image

c-m-hall 4 years ago from York, Maine

Thank you arb ... What a wonderful compliment to your wife and sooo romantic! I believe (as I've heard) that: Beauty is in the eyes of the Beholder - I can't imagine anyone loving and kind being less beautiful than the most classic of supposed beauty. All kind people are beautiful to me! That picture is great! Those people are stunning! I can see why you think that about your wife. - Cher


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon Author

Hello cher, I hope you are well. Just got my computer back after needed repairs. Sorry for the delay in responding. Thanks for reading and the comment. I will get to your new poems soon.


Edlira profile image

Edlira 3 years ago

I will tell you about another survey, which I have conducted. The methodology is the same as yours. You are the best writer in the hub pages and far beyond :) this kingdom..lol. Love, love your way with words.


arb profile image

arb 3 years ago from oregon Author

Edlira, you are as sweet as a morning in July. Thank you for the vote. I will treasure it.


cat on a soapbox profile image

cat on a soapbox 3 years ago from Los Angeles

Delightful! Both you and the hub! These other wonderful comments speak my thoughts as well.

My best,

Cat:)

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