The flaw in time


In time, shall I ever see you with her
and watch as you take her hand...
to have and to hold
for this life span at least
shall I endure this?

In time, shall I see our son
marching proudly in your footsteps
shall I see your face reflected
(as only sons to fathers can)
shall I endure this?

In time, there is always a flaw; a time-warp...
(a deja vu we are momentarily aware of)
where, you and I live together...
deeply in love
shall I ever be able to leave this?

In time, should I ever see you with her
don't panic, or rush through the nearest door
I'll use my discretion
and quietly disappear...
through the flaw...in time.


Copyright © Helen Lewis 2009

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Comments 38 comments

singlmomat52 profile image

singlmomat52 6 years ago

I know of these questions and yes in time it will get easier!! Beautifully put!!! thank you!!


brightforyou profile image

brightforyou 6 years ago from Florida Author

Hi singlmom52 - I was trying an idea of playing on a different meaning for the same word - in this case "Flaw" and "Floor" - I'm not very happy with it - and may change it "in time"... thanks for your comments again!


Words by Mike 6 years ago

Awsome!Thank you for sharing. She reads this and knows that she is not alone. Keep up the good work. :O) Cheers~


brightforyou profile image

brightforyou 6 years ago from Florida Author

Hi Mike, thank you for your kind comments. I guess we are never really alone.


Words by Mike 6 years ago

Never lol, trust me, I have tried. :O) Though sometimes it feels as though our struggle is so genuinely unique, we would be very surprised to know the mirrored existence around us. Concerning the message though, I believe there is a reason why we do what we do, in so much that your words provided you with something as well as untold observers, That in that moment of connection, we are able to see a momentary glimpse of the connection to our fellow man and womankind. Cheers~


brightforyou profile image

brightforyou 6 years ago from Florida Author

I know what you mean Mike, I oftentimes am surprised by what I write and its as though I learn about me through what comes out of me (or does it come from me)? Maybe its some kind of channeling from the collective unconscious. Sometimes I 'hear' what I need to write and then understand it when I read it, if that makes any sense. So thanks for shining your light on that aspect of the joy of writing; which is truly both revealing and mysterious! Cheers!


Astra Nomik profile image

Astra Nomik 6 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

I love this poem. The flaw and floor sounds work for me. This is wonderful. I have to read more from you now. Thank you.


brightforyou profile image

brightforyou 6 years ago from Florida Author

Hi Astra Nomik (love the name)... thank you. I am so glad you enjoyed it. I love your poetry also!


jdflom profile image

jdflom 6 years ago from Sacramento, CA

I agree with Astra Nomik, 'flaw' and 'floor' work well together.

I enjoyed your poetic voice and the overall flow of your words.


brightforyou profile image

brightforyou 6 years ago from Florida Author

Thank you jdflom - I'm grateful for your kind comments and look forward to reading your hubs!


ROMANCER OF LIFE profile image

ROMANCER OF LIFE 6 years ago from Honolulu, Hawaii

Beautiful!


brightforyou profile image

brightforyou 6 years ago from Florida Author

Thanks again Romancer of Life - I am very honored by your kind words and acknowledgments on my hubs!


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 6 years ago from Philippines

Beautiful, compassionate, but sad. Do we have to fall in love and fall out of it because we want the other to go free? Well, that's the "flaw". Cheers!


brightforyou profile image

brightforyou 6 years ago from Florida Author

Hi Lita, thank you for your kind comments. I agree, there is always a'flaw' - but they say its better to have loved and lost - than never to have loved at all...


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK

Lovely Poem - Take Heart.


brightforyou profile image

brightforyou 6 years ago from Florida Author

Hi Lady_E thankyou for your kind comments. I look forward to reading your work.


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 6 years ago from Sunny Florida

You are never alone and yes, things do get better and easier withn time. Beautiful poem.


brightforyou profile image

brightforyou 6 years ago from Florida Author

Hi KoffeeKlatch Glas from sunny Florida (I'm in Bradenton) thanks for stopping by and for your kind comments; I look forward to reading your hubs!


epigramman profile image

epigramman 6 years ago

...what a lovely lovely title - wish I had thought of that one - lol lol - and those words which follow - I am in some kind of poetic nirvana right now - somebody pass me the smelling salts - no wait, let me dream - this dream!


brightforyou profile image

brightforyou 6 years ago from Florida Author

Hi epigramman - thank you for your lovely comments - this is indeed an honor coming from someone who writes with such witty repartee and heart. I love your hubs and I'm looking forward to reading more!


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 6 years ago

Beautifully worded and understood. Just remember you are not alone many of us have a flaw in time. I had 10 years of it. Bravo for being strong, please press forward and don't look back, I found through much pain that there is not a thing I could do about the past and once I came to that realization my soul was set free. Peace and hugs


brightforyou profile image

brightforyou 6 years ago from Florida Author

Hi saddlerider1 - so sweet. thank you; you are always a source of wisdom. Thank you for your continued support!


Daniel J. Neumann profile image

Daniel J. Neumann 6 years ago from Harrisburg, Pa

Bright for you,

Very nice hub poem. Sometimes even negative emotions helps us center on the moment, lending zen meditation.

De ja vu is weird sensation. I feel like history gets it all the time.

Thanks for sharing this,

Dan


brightforyou profile image

brightforyou 6 years ago from Florida Author

Hi Daniel, thank you so much for stopping by. Yes, Deja vu - the sense that something new has happened before... happens to me all the time! I look forward to reading your hubs.


maven101 profile image

maven101 6 years ago from Northern Arizona

Thank you for this honest revelation of your heart...I was drawn to the line " shall I ever be able to leave this? "...I have to ask myself, " Do I want to leave this ? "...Or, " Am I able to leave this ? "...My thoughts went to the tyranny of the weak, and the hold it can have on us...

Lovely thoughts put to verse...Thank you for the share...Larry


brightforyou profile image

brightforyou 6 years ago from Florida Author

Hi Maven101 thank you for stopping by. I've joined your fan club! I know what you mean; everything is a choice...but sometimes, it feels like we don't have a choice. I was really trying to work with a different meaning for the same word "flaw" and "floor" - I'll probably come back and change it in time.. because I'm not entirely sure its right yet. Thanks again for your input, I really appreciate it.


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA

This poem makes me think of the theory that we are but existing in one of multiple parallel dimensions...that every possible alternate reality that could flow from this moment does, and every one is real.

When I suffer through a difficult period...when I seem to be the kick can for the Fates, or I am suddenly laid off with no warning, or my lover's heart turns to ice and she walks away...I sometimes imagine I am simply in the worst of all those possible realities.

Perhaps it is not the "Flaw in time". Maybe I am the flawed one, and all my other selves in the other realities are the right ones and doing fine.

Maybe in those realities she didn't leave me, I don't scan crowds for a chance glimpse of her, I can hear her name without forgetting to breathe.

Is time flawed? Or just me...this time?

See what your poem germinated in me?

Thanks.

CP


brightforyou profile image

brightforyou 6 years ago from Florida Author

Hi Christopher, I agree with "we are but existing in one of multiple parallel dimensions...that every possible alternate reality that could flow from this moment does, and every one is real."

I really chose the short-straw too. Bummer eh! Keep thinking about all the decisions I made sometimes realizing they weren't necessarily the best in the long-term - wish we could do over, don't you sometimes, or alternatively flip through time at will and chose an alternative reality ... I do this, in dreams and my verse was a clumsy effort at trying to express that longing that perhaps we all feel to "go home" or "go back" or forward to where our heart belongs.. Now see what your comments germinated in me!!! Thanks for the stimulating thoughts and sharing Chris, and look forward to getting to know you.


Cindy Letchworth profile image

Cindy Letchworth 5 years ago from Midwest, U.S.A.

Nice. I like this. Who hasn't been here once or twice.

Thanks for the poetry.


brightforyou profile image

brightforyou 5 years ago from Florida Author

Hi Cindy thanks for your kind comments!


china man 5 years ago

How come I did not find you before ! I Like this one, it has a range of different possible meanings which (for me) is one of the important hallmark of what makes a poem not be prose.

I can also relate to the feelings, although now that I have reached the age where most people are thinking about retiring soon, I am thinking about getting married soon and just one more kid - it is possible to get over stuff I find :)


brightforyou profile image

brightforyou 5 years ago from Florida Author

Hi China man - nice to meet you! Thank you for your kind comments. I tried to put your link http://hubpages.com/profile/alternate+poet into my address but it didn't come up and it isn't "live" on your profile. So I was unable to read your poetry, Its wonderful that you are thinking of marrying and having a child - great stuff! I guess we can move forwards when we are ready... look forward to reading your poetry!


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

This is really great.

You threw in some unusual and interesting writings methods, and it really is an impressive piece of writing.

I'm sorry if you had to go through a time like this. I definitely felt some emotions in this.

Great work. thank you


brightforyou profile image

brightforyou 5 years ago from Florida Author

Hi BenWritings, thanks again - I really appreciate your input. I'm not terribly happy with this piece - it needs work.. but it will do for now. I'm looking forward to reading more of your pieces. :-) Helen


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

I hope you do, thanks :]


brightforyou profile image

brightforyou 5 years ago from Florida Author

I did Ben - Great stuff; well done!


dablufox profile image

dablufox 5 years ago from Australia

inspiring and beautiful poem, loved it!


brightforyou profile image

brightforyou 5 years ago from Florida Author

Thank you dablufox!

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