The Funny Christmas With no End

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A bad day for Santa who was almost done

we thought so..!

his sleigh got stuck near our home

so we invited him to get inside our own

so we can get him amused and all...


Little elves came inside shivering through our door

I welcome them and decided to crack some jokes

and Santa's helpers got hold of the reindeer's

got some beer and told him, to your health and cheers!


what elves learn in school? I asked to break the Ice

they looked at each other with a certain surprise

they learn the "elf abet," if you didn't know

Santa started laughing while rubbing his nose


I kept reminding myself to entertain my guests and their long hours

why the Christmas alphabet is shorter than ours?

Not an idea said Santa while he called triple A

the Christmas alphabet has No-L, (Noel) I said.


They got hold of a repair shop to fix the sleigh

triple A said Santa's account was cancelled for no pay

don't worry Santa, here I have Three gardens for you

Why? he asked. So you can hoe hoe hoe, Wouldn't you


He was glad his delivery was over and wanted to get home

North pole, was a long way ahead to go

Mrs. Santa was waiting with her sweetest smile

full of healthy food, cashew nuts and red wine


He paid me back with this one, oh Lord!

what Christmas carol is a favorite of mom and dad?

I have three girls and all love presents dear Santa, That's all I know..

His answer was, 'Silent night, do I make sense, huh?'


He was heading out and he saw my snowman with a scarf pale black

What do you think he is going to have for breakfast I asked

Maybe a delicious ice cream like any of us, he said

Dear Santa you are funny but it will be Frosted flakes!


You funny man Lord, he said

You have your gift down the chimney, by the fireplace

don't get mad but they wanted to surprise your mind

They knew you have photographic memory

agreed with Susan, Marissa and 'Tammy sweet child'


is a gift from the ladies at HP

I went inside and I opened it right away

A digital camera for the Lord, from all of them

Santa played me off all this time... amen!

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Comments 26 comments

Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

Lord I'm beginning to think you might have consumed a bit to much of spiked egg nog! hahaha! Yay for your digital camera, I'm looking forward to you sharing many photos! Ho, Ho, Ho!


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

I think you are right Linda..I go to the restroom and my eyes ball are whitier and about to pop out! Got the feeling even..from behind...

LORD


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 4 years ago

elf-abet..love it!


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

We loved it too dear Flora! Was fun to write it...Hope you are enjoying a restful day with Ami and friends...

LORD


justateacher profile image

justateacher 4 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

Great! I will have to see if my students know what the elves learn in school!


Sunnie Day 4 years ago

This is Elfin funny! Thank you lord! hahaha


mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

Thanks for the giggle at the end of my Christmas Day, Lord. My family just left with full bellies, their gifts, and leftovers! I hope you and yours had a wonderful day today!


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Mr Dear Mr. Lord...You are so funny... Ok now that you got a camera I want pictures... lol lots of pictures..

Hope you had a great Christmas..

debbie


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland

Such a cute and funny poem. I loved no L :) you're way creative!


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

Just a teacher,

I always feel happy when I see you around...You always inspires to continue writing...we wanna see your smile, at least in pics! Have a great day...and yes your students might get a good laugh as well.

LORD


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

Good Evening Sunnie,

You made me laugh on this one too. I guess your family got over and left overs are ready to be put away for the next day. Happy to see you smile on this piece! Take care friend!

LORD


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

hello MARY 615,

You always reading our work..and we paying back with visiting your inspirations. This was just a piece of creativity after a good dinner. We all did spend a good time and glad to see you in here.

LORD


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

Good evening Debby!

Lol! You want our pictures? I guess we will have to some day..since we got a camera now. You have a nice night and hope you spent your christmas with your loved ones!

LORD


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

Thanks Ardie,

You are welcome and hope to see you around for so long. You are a good greeter as well, that smile is so cute!! Seems that you never left high school (jk)

LORD


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

That was elfaliciously funny!!


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

Hahaha! You think so?

They had fun and after done they had to run...Mrs, Santa was busy with...the mailman...not in a bad way, the mail was delayed...and "she coudn't wait"


raciniwa profile image

raciniwa 4 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

this is funny than ever...it must be great talking to Santa...hoe hoe hoe...


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

This was funny..Way to go Santa...


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

Raciniwa and always exploring,

This poem was hillarious even for me .ho-ho-ho....hold it man! Your sleidge is pulling my belt.....OHHHH!

lord


raciniwa profile image

raciniwa 4 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

hahahaha...you have me laughing there Lord oh Lord...you have a funny way of saying things...


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

It was way funnier for me..as we think and create...and get to the point! Take care RACI

lord


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

Oh dear this one's a gem lord and has brought many a smile for sure.

I hope you are having much festive cheer and here's to a brilliant new year my friend.

Take care

Eddy.


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

Was missing already my friend Eddy,

Happy new year too!

LORD


Dave Mathews profile image

Dave Mathews 4 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

I'm not sure if there was any egg nog with that rum you drank over the holiday but it sure got you going.


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

Well Dave,

I wonder if Santa...ever, ever...got drunk after done with the season? Maybe Rudolph can hint us...Or maybe the Santa's helpers signed a contract with the no see, no tell 'clause'

And why the wine can be green..or can be red?

LORD


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon

great poem Joseph. Sorry I didn't catch it earlier!

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