The mystery of the disappearing underwear

 Suspecting nothing I always hung my clean wash to dry outside. Every day, but the last months there was less wash to hang outside. Strangely enough there was always something missing, so after a few weeks I had to go out and buy new again. Underwear.

First I thought my washing machine was eating my lingerie. Socks that went in as a pair often came out a single, so why could it not be that it liked my underwear so much, that it wanted to keep it hidden somewhere. But no, I counted what went in and what came out. The machine wasn’t the guilty one. There was only one possibility left. Someone was taking the underwear from the line while I went to work or was asleep.

 

This mystery had to be solved. If I had to buy new underwear every month, that would cost me more than I wanted it to cost me. So I hid myself behind the curtains, holding my flashlight, watching if I saw any movements towards my underwear. But I could not keep my eyes open and fell asleep at the window. And yes, the next morning the towels were still there but the rest was gone. All four were missing. When I told my family, they just laughed. “Do you have to walk around without your panties on now?"

My neighbor didn’t have the problem I had. But I didn’t want to wear the same big woolen underwear as my 85 year old neighbor. After being robbed from my underwear for the third time in a row, I decided to go to the police. I imagined how the officer would react if I went in there and told him that my underwear disappeared.

“I want to report my underwear disappearing mysteriously officer”

“Stolen you mean?”

“I guess so; I don’t think it walked out on me by itself. And before I forget, it wasn’t stolen while I was wearing it”

Another officer came to do the “paperwork” on his computer.

It seemed I wasn’t the only one in town whose underwear was taken. What I didn’t know was that they had a suspect. A 52 year old man who liked female underwear more than the female wearing it. The man had just moved to the part of town where I was living because in his old neighborhood he wasn’t welcome anymore. Now the police knew he was at it again.

I went home after I had bought me some new underwear again. Hopefully for the last time and it was.

 

The police caught the guy two days later while he was sniffing and stealing underwear two blocks away from my place. 

 He got a fine and that was it.  And he moved again. His house seemed to be empty after three weeks I’d been told. So every woman hangs her strings, boxers, hipsters or knickers outside again. Finally the lingerie was safe.

Four weeks later I got a call from my mom. “You won’t believe what is happening to your cousin now. Somebody is stealing her underwear”

Oh dear cousin, do you have to walk around without your panties on?

I guess I know now were the guy moved at.

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Comments 18 comments

Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia

LOL Lazur, this was funny and creepy all that the same time! I enjoyed it. Perhaps this guy is a cousin to the Butt Bandit of Valentine that Spryte wrote about. ;)

There are times when I really don't want to understand why people do some of the things they do, and men stealing women's underwear is one of them. lol! I had an experience once where I came home from work for lunch, and I caught a man raiding my dirty clothes hamper and stealing my underwear. Yuck!

Thanks for a fun read. :)


Moon Daisy profile image

Moon Daisy 7 years ago from London

Wow, how unfortunate! And the underwear-stealing guy sounds a bit creepy. It's a shame he's still allowed to continue this unfortunate hobby, but I'm glad that at least you don't have to worry about your smalls now. I enjoyed reading your story, thanks.


Lazur profile image

Lazur 7 years ago from Netherlands Author

Indeed creepy. But it's more fun now that the one who laughed about it is having the same creepy guy around.:) But he will be caught again I think:)


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 7 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

Oh My..but your underwear is sooo cute and sexy...poor old guy...am just very glad he didn't want to take them off of YOU...and also very happy he was caught...but now your cousin has to buy new undies every month...LOL what goes around comes around....

How have you been and getting all ready for the Holiday's I see...You look adorable...We are now celeb rating ThanksGiving and have 14 people coming...yikes too much work for this old lady anymore..but I love it...Thanks for a sweet laugh today...G-Ma :o) Hugs


Lazur profile image

Lazur 7 years ago from Netherlands Author

I'm doing better each day :D And yes, the avatar is ready, now I'm working on the Christmas cards:D

I hope you'll have a great Thanksgiving G-Ma. Say hello to everyone from me:D


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Very funny Lazur, and yet you have to feel a bit sorry for a guy who is so sad he has to steal underwear off clotheslines :)


Lazur profile image

Lazur 7 years ago from Netherlands Author

Same here. Now I can laugh about it, but I often wondered why he didn't get any help for his problem. Just a fine.


brad4l profile image

brad4l 7 years ago from USA

Wow, that is kind of creepy. I am glad they caught the guy who was doing it. I wonder what a better sentence for his crime would have been. Simply a fine doesn't seem right. Perhaps some sort of counseling would have been in order.


Dorsi profile image

Dorsi 7 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

OMG- he really has an underwear fetish!! Your hub is humorous but yeah, at the same time that is creepy for sure.

Glad he moved!!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

He'd probably prefer to get the panties BEFORE they were laundered! I'm glad they caught the guy. I was going to say "I was nowhere near the Netherlands!" There was a guy here in the states who actually broke into apartments and stole all the panties. When they caught him, he had bags and bags full of them in his house. The judge let him off with a stern warning that if he did it again he would go to jail. He got caught doing it again a couple of months later and he went to jail.

Very funny!


Lazur profile image

Lazur 7 years ago from Netherlands Author

Thanks Chris:)

They did caught him again here, but he didn't have to do jailtime here.But then again, most of the time they don't give jailtime for such things at all unless people get hurt. And he did't try to get them while some woman was wearing the panties;)


Coolbreezing profile image

Coolbreezing 7 years ago from New York, New York

He would be classified as a pervert had he stolen the underwear before their got wash but he's stealing them after which then mean his collecting them to sell. He's making 100% profit out of it, being that he didn't have to buy them, his profit is not deducted from cost. He might be facing a good time in jail if he's caught selling them without paying tax. Stealing is immoral but it's also another way of making money. Those who steal at a greater scale are likely to get away with their crime than those who steal petty stuff.


Lazur profile image

Lazur 7 years ago from Netherlands Author

He didn't steel them to sell. They found almost all the underwear at his home. He had some sort of an underwear fettish I think:D


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

Gee...there are really men who do that? :-) It sure is creepy. Guess he loved your choice of undies.


Pest profile image

Pest 7 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

I like panties, but stealing them and sniffing??? My underwear disappear every day...But I just call it a wedgy.


Crazdwriter 6 years ago

OMG that is so sad and so funny at the same time. Glad your underwear isn't being stolen anymore but I feel sorry for your cousin. They should do something more than just fine the guy since obviously he is just going to move and do it again. He is just sick!


Thelma Alberts profile image

Thelma Alberts 5 years ago from Germany

Hahaha...It is so funny! I enjoyed reading this hub. It is a shame stealing panties and snipping them. What a pervert! I hope your cousin know now who´s stolen her underwears.


Peter Geekie profile image

Peter Geekie 3 years ago from London

Dear lazur,

When I was a child in Devon there was a spate of ladies knickers being stolen from washing lines. Eventually the police caught the manager of jewellers and he was fined and moved away. Were the ladies of the town pleased - no they were not. Apparently every pair of knickers he stole he pegged a one pound note in its place, which was about 3 times the price of a new pair.

Kind regards Peter

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