The Tales Of Bobby Popzilla A Aussie Ocker

'Bobby Popzilla'
'Bobby Popzilla'
Dora
Dora
Dora's talents won her a position in the local Freak Show
Dora's talents won her a position in the local Freak Show
Dora eventually had to refrain Drew with chains
Dora eventually had to refrain Drew with chains
Ringo Shaboo
Ringo Shaboo
Pandora's accident led her into the arms of horny Bobby Popzilla
Pandora's accident led her into the arms of horny Bobby Popzilla
Pandora Drew's sexy new bride
Pandora Drew's sexy new bride
Pandora loved to ride...and bikes too.
Pandora loved to ride...and bikes too.

Thought it was bout' time I brought a little piece of Australia to your hearts. I am honoured to pay tribute to a great Aussie legend, Bobby Popzilla. Grab your stubby and sit back me mates. Deadset, this is the Dinky-di.!!!



In the outback Australia,
In the town of Chinchilla,
Lived an extraordinary man,
Named Bobby Popzilla

Now Bobby's birth father,
Drew Thomas Popzilla,
Was so fierce and grouse,
That he scared ole' Godzilla

His mother named Dora,
Had a passion for guns,
She would lurch in the fields,
Shooting cream buns.

Dora, drew wages,
From the freak show in town,
Stretching her lips,
Til they hung to the ground.

Drew slurped on his XXXX,
24 hours a day,
Cussing and ranting,
"Can't help that I'm gay.
"

When Drew's belly grew wider,
Than the whole blooming town,
Dora exploded,
And tied hubby down.

Poor little Bobby,
Dared never to speak,
Born with one testicle,
He only did shriek
.

His only real friend,
Was Ringo Shaboo,
The product of crossing,
A pooch with a ro
o.


When Bobby turned 20,
He packed up his swag,
And headed for Roma,
Dressed in mere rags.

Tired and hungry,
After days in the scrub,
He sat picking his nose,
While chewing a grub.

He listened intently,
As he heard footsteps draw near,
And there in the bushes,
Suddenly a woman appeared.


"Eek eek", he did mutter,
As he raised his club high,
"This woman", he pondered,
Wants a bit on the sly.

"Can you help me" she muttered,
For me wagon broke down,
And I've lost my wee dentures,
Somewhere, here on the ground".

"I'm late for me bingo,
It started at four,
Was adjusting me side mirror,
When I shot through the door.
"

"Me name is Pandora,
And I'm only a midget,
I only have mishaps,
When I'm tempted to fidget."

Drew simply stared,
His heart was a' thumping,
At this little plump creature,
That he wouldn't mind humping..........

...............................................................


Two years have now passed,
In the town of Banana,
Where the couple got married,
By 'Acka' the farmer.

Pandora is glowing,
Her belly a growing,
With Drew ploughing the fields,
For his annual weed sowing.

His profits in farming,
Have prospered the pair,
He now struts down the streets,
In his gold underwear.

The locals inspired,
By this one baller 'ocker,
That they've built a new clinic,
On the site that he knocked 'er.

If you are ever a travellin
Be sure to stop by,
To the town of Bannana,
For this aint a lie.



© Deb Murray 2009

Drew Thomas Popzilla at his son's wedding day
Drew Thomas Popzilla at his son's wedding day

HEY TRUE BLUE

Please Feel Free To Leave Your Comments 78 comments

cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine

LMAO! I loved this! Have always loved the Aussie sense of humour! My dream is still to drive through Aussie in one of those Campervans!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Struth it's Cindy yahooooo. When you visit OZ I will give you a personal tour of the outback, and take you to Banana loooooooool.x0x0x


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine

Yeah, definitely! Went to Sydney and Gold Coast a few years ago. Much prefer the Aussies to the kiwis!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

LMAO I second that motion. It's funny how the people differ here.The city people are definetely not as friendly as the outback folk. I lived out Roma for awhile, I was happy, my hand dropped off from waving to the locals,boy there was a pub on every corner.Had to leave while I was sober haha.I nearly got bashed by this huge Momma who wanted to kill me as I walked past her house everyday,and he husband would look. Hahah bashed for walking past her house boy oh boy.


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 7 years ago from India

BP - that was great - thanks for bringing that 'little piece of Australia to our hearts'! :)


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Hey Shalini so great to see you. Thanks a million you're true blue.x0x


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 7 years ago from India

Fair dinkum BP? Thanks :)

If my second pup hadn't been so little I would have been flying home this weekend after a week in Brisbane!!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Hahaha I adore your Aussie Shalini you are Dinky-Di ...


hairy A.S.S. 7 years ago

Dang it gal how many times do i hafta tell ya to stop playin wiff dat keyboard thingamagigi. Now get you ass back in the kitchen and rastle up some grub. I'm starvin. You can put them piktyars of me bak in that hard drive too. Although there the good ones. Ive put on wait since then.

BP great poem mate.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Great poem, B.P. But oh, those pictures. Oooooo. Yuck! If I visit you in Australia, don't introduce me to your "friends!"


hairy A.S.S. 7 years ago

hey chris , you want the chocolates you gotta start with the boiled lollies. Come ear and give big daddy a hug.


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Hahaha hairy A.S.S crikeys you're a wally. How many times I told ya cook yar own bloody eggs...Fair suck of the sav...have a bloody sandwich.Them pics I uploaded on U-Tube,dead right I did. Ridgey didge. That will cost ya big bikkies to get em back now. Awww my dear hairy A.S.S don't crack a snake LMAO


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Gidday Christoph!!!! Hahaha believe it or not they don't look so bad now.I gave em a makeover and they are both looking hot. Fair dinkum, and oh Drew's Dad has carked it, he basically was rooted from hitting too much Turps. He was a huge Dunny rat, no word of a lie hahah.


Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

Yeah, a healthy serving of Australian pie! This was good entertainment! Thanks for sharing :D


Frieda Babbley profile image

Frieda Babbley 7 years ago from Saint Louis, MO

roflmao What a fun treat. Thanks BP!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Hey Cris thanks for coming by. We Australians are a funny bunch that's for sure

Thanks so much Frieda as of the last few weeks my inspirations for Hubs has been low.I think the Midori inspired this turn of events last night LMAO


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

That was good Ceb. roflmao! hahaha good funny poem, terrible pictures tho'. hahaha Now i'll need some translation of some of that Strine, I'm workin' on it tho'. haha Aussie Pie. good Cris


B.T. Evilpants profile image

B.T. Evilpants 7 years ago from Hell, MI

I read this shortly before going to bed last night. All night long, I dreamed that Drew was chasing me with a knife and fork, and a napkin around his neck. I may never sleep again!


Teresa McGurk profile image

Teresa McGurk 7 years ago from The Other Bangor

Glad to know culture is so rife with rich idiom in the colonies. . . (my cat typed that. I told her to write "great hub; brilliant idiom," but the cat is warped and thinks she's funny. Sorry.)


Everyday Miracles profile image

Everyday Miracles 7 years ago from Indiana, USA

Oh my! Now THAT was funny! Thank you for sharing your talent with us!


RKHenry profile image

RKHenry 7 years ago from Your neighborhood museum

This is the best hub ever! I going to nominate it to be a hub nugget in the hubber's hangout. I don't have any power, but hopefully it will the GREAT recognition that it desires.

Best!!!


RKHenry profile image

RKHenry 7 years ago from Your neighborhood museum

Best EVER!!!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Hahaha C.C now I got to ask you when you say, "Now i'll need some translation of some of that Strine". What the heck is a shrine loooooool I have no idea is the American talk again. What you don't like my pictures ? Oh Bobby won't be happy bout that hahha.

B.T Evilpants LMAO oh dear I hope tonight you have an arousing dream with you and Pandora,wouldn't want you to have nightmares again......


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Gidday Teresa hahah that is some cat you have there.Maybe we could mate the cat with Ringo Shaboo hahah imagine what we would get from that mix ooooo.

Hi Everyday Miracles oh thankyou sooooooo much. :)


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Awwwww RKHenry you are the sweetest of the sweetest. Big hugs to you.I am going to ship out.. a pair of pink Bonds mens underwear immediately to you , courtesy of my friend Bobby.xox


Eric Graudins profile image

Eric Graudins 7 years ago from Australia

Hi Deb,

Great Hub.

With teetth like that, I think Dora might be from one of our more famous Tassie bogan families.

Us Aussies are gunna take over HubPages soon. Your hub will get more tourists here than Lara Bingle ever did. (Plus you're better looking and have a nicer personality than her! )

BTW - Nice pic of you in the belly dancing outfit. Real class!

Eric g.


Raven King profile image

Raven King 7 years ago from Cabin Fever

What? C.C. didn't love the photos? This is must be one of the funniest hubs! I like the photos. Those fat people look very frisky. Yum...yum. Is Ringo a tiny lama or a poodle? :)


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Aww Eric I you are a gem. Flattery like that will get you everywhere LMAO. Wowee better than Lara Bingle,oh I am blushing.Considering Lara's beauty,boy that is a hugeeee compliment.x0x0

Hey Raven LMAO, now I know he don't look like it, but Bobby told me he mated a kangaroo with a Border Collie, but yes, personally I think there was a threesome involved,with a lama too.Aww and thankyou sooo much for liking my pics. Big hugs to you Ravenxox


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine

Hey BP, how was the weekend? Manage to watch any of the men in tight short running around playing footie?


AgingtoPerfection profile image

AgingtoPerfection 7 years ago

I loved the quck wit behind this poem. It was very entertaining. I enjoyed it very much.

Where in the world did you find all these intereseting pictures?

Have a great day!


RKHenry profile image

RKHenry 7 years ago from Your neighborhood museum

Blondepoet, marry me!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Hey cindyvine my dear friend,damn, I didn't grrrrr. I was so busy. Mind you I saw them on the telly for about ten minutes before my movie started,ooooo,I lapped up what i could haha,before Clint Eastwood strutted on my screen.Gee that man still has the wit at 80years old.Make my day......(hugs)


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

AgingtoPerfection hello :).Oh thankyou so much your praise means much to me. I found them on a website full of humorous pictures.There was thousands.I picked the ones I wanted lol and then concocted a tale to suit the ones I had. LMAO giving you my trade secrets lol.(hugs)

RKHenry oh my. My first online proposal. :) I will need to know do you have all your teeth? (hugs)


RKHenry profile image

RKHenry 7 years ago from Your neighborhood museum

lol! yes, they are straight, mine and shiny white.


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

LMAO now the second and final question, are you really a man, will need some kind of physical evidence :)


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Lol badcompany99 that is so cool to hear. My day was full of a few bleak clouds, but it's all good, the wind has blown them all away lol


Benson Yeung profile image

Benson Yeung 7 years ago from Hong Kong

it's not fair that you have so much fun that it spills over in your writing.

Dr Benson Yeung

http://doctorshealthtips.com


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Hey Benson,lol,I am so glad it shows,come to Oz, I will teach you to have fun LMAo


jajeisan5892 profile image

jajeisan5892 7 years ago from Los Angeles

very interesting. i enjoyed your hub

thanks


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Hi jajeisan5892 thanks heaps probably for the non-Aussies it may be a little hard to understand.xox


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine

BP, where is everybody????????


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

I don't know I have been wondering the same thing I feel so lost


Pest profile image

Pest 7 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

BP, your talents as a writer never cease to amaze me and always leve me in an envious pool of wonder.


Eric Graudins profile image

Eric Graudins 7 years ago from Australia

@Pest - Sure it's not a pool of Drool?

After all, you have remarked once or twice that BP is pretty easy on the eye :-)


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Aww thanks Pest yes I do have a big list of talents LMAO not necessarily all good ones haha.

Hahaha Eric, indeed we could be talking about saliva here....mm..that is the question of the day


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States

OMG you'll have to start writing plays after Shakespeare now after this epic! And yes, I'd heard your talents are big...


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

Oh BP , That is hilarious and that belly of his looks like a gigantic egg that is scary.lolololo ((Hugs)):)


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Haha Tom, I am very perplexed actually. Everytime I either comment on one of your Hubs or write a response to you on one of mine I have just realised I always begin with a Hahah. I think it has something to do with the fact that you crack me up, in a good way of course lol.

Hey AE, oh it is so cool to see you. Oh yes that belly you could almost swear there was something like a round lifeboat or something like that stuck inside there. Like it is soooo round LMAO.x0x


LAmatadora 7 years ago

oh my god that belly was HUGE!!! Funny hub girl!!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Hahah it was bigger than a bus wasn't it. I honestly have never seen one so large hahah


Paper Moon profile image

Paper Moon 7 years ago from In the clouds

Scary pics, great hub!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Haha.Thankyou Paper Moon I could not agree more.x0


Am I dead, yet? 7 years ago

oh my, the pics are terrifying. Esp the guy with ascites!! Painful!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Indeed Am I Dead Yet they are. Can you imagine how his neighbours feel LMAO. Thanks so much for stopping by.


R. Blue profile image

R. Blue 7 years ago from Right here

Hey beautiful...wanna Skype for a minute?


kea profile image

kea 7 years ago

These images are disturbing! I'm not sure I'll recover. Entertaining, yet disturbing :)


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Hey kea, I will beep you tomorrow to see if you are ok LMAO


earnestshub profile image

earnestshub 7 years ago from Melbourne Australia

I don't even have an excuse for missing this amazingly funny hub BP.

You are a real talent and a wonderful contributor to hub-pages. I loved the poem and your humor is embedded in the whole hub so well. Congratulations on having received so many wonderful comments too!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Well earnest it is better to have you later than never. How have you been.? Did you see my great video I made on Cindy's birthday page in the forums. Ooo prepare yourself. (hugs)thanks so much I love having you drop by.


isis_dreams2002 7 years ago

that was so funny bp keep it up I love to read your writing like this one i just wish i could write things like this


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Thanks isis I am so happy you got a giggle, I love doing the funny stuff, I really do xoxox


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Thank you again BP. Very nice. Is that stomach real?


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 6 years ago from australia Author

Hi there Micky....that stomach....it is as real as I'm a blonde I swear to you ROFL. Isn't it just ummmm....haaa can't think of a appropriate word :)


Bhawna Sharma profile image

Bhawna Sharma 6 years ago from Mumbai, India

lol...it's funny.


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 6 years ago from australia Author

Thanks Bhawna those folk sure are some strange strange people.


bat115 profile image

bat115 6 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

funny stuff, blondepoet, if not a little disturning in the pics department. lol


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 6 years ago from australia Author

Lol bat115, yes the pics are a little disturbing, they are a most peculiar family indeed.


bat115 profile image

bat115 6 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

LOL, I guess I was so disturbed by this that I wrote "disturned". Sorry about that.


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 6 years ago from australia Author

Haha you poor thing do not fear I will go grab my bottle of valium, will be right back.


Astra Nomik profile image

Astra Nomik 6 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

This had me in knots! This is so funny and the fotos are bizarre. They are like baloon people. You write so well! I just published my first poem on hub pages. I want to write fun stuff like this!


Astra Nomik profile image

Astra Nomik 6 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

Congrats on your amazing milestone! 700 + fans! Correction 730 fans!Awesome!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 6 years ago from australia Author

Hi there Astra love your name too by the way ROFL. Please if you are ever in Australia I will take you to meet this Oz mad-cap family lol. Thanks heaps for the grats too.


blake4d profile image

blake4d 6 years ago from Now Rising Out of Phoenix Arizona Earthlings

ROTF LMAO LOL OMG ROTF again LMAO again LOL OMG Again...

Oh yes indeed here is a new triumph, I may just have to put everything on hold today and just contemplate this ditty of yours BP. Wow, is that based on a real folktale in the Assuie mythos...wheather invention or reinvention, fabulous. A very funny oddity of the Australian nuclear family meets a psychadelic pied piper with a twist of Hunter Thompson or some lunacy. If you need more praise, props or translation call me anytime.

I can hear my heart going BP, BP, BP...=)

P.S. I love Pandora...great choice, really clinches the whole surreal thing without a word. BBW are gorgeous too.

But I can think of another dear lady that

"At this little plump creature,That he wouldn't mind" hubbing.........


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 6 years ago from australia Author

Haha Blake why don't you pack up your swag, start singing 'A Waltzing Matilda', and get down to Banana, I will give you a personal introduction. Then again that might be dangerous as Pandora will get the hots for you, and Bobby might get so cheezed off he will whack you over the head with his club.Did you mean humping as well as hubbing? LMAO. Kisses to you xox


blake4d profile image

blake4d 6 years ago from Now Rising Out of Phoenix Arizona Earthlings

I only can assme that a lady should be allowed to decide with whom she is to be humping or hubbing...am I correct?


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 6 years ago from australia Author

Yes so very correct Blake and I choose the first. Followed by the second or both at the same time. Am I correct :) :) :)


blake4d profile image

blake4d 6 years ago from Now Rising Out of Phoenix Arizona Earthlings

You are always correct BP.


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 6 years ago from australia Author

And so are you Blake :)

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