They ask of me, your dark and lustrous eyes (A sonnet)


They ask of me, your dark and lustrous eyes,

“Why do you love me so, fair northern one?”

And then retreat where blackest silks are spun,

Each lash arranged to defend them from the skies,

Behind those moist and caramel canopies

Each sweet dark orb craves solely to delight

In feasting on the blue grey from which I’ve sight.

And now a trembling finger reaches out to raise

My lids to gaze within. At once my space,

My fortress, has been breached and you, by this pretence

Forced entry deep within my soul; thrown down my defence.

I imbibe your honeyed breath upon my face.

Dark skinned; dark eyed; deep liquid ebony and jet.

And I exalt in your dark and radiant beauty yet.


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Comments 36 comments

BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

Absolutely stunning! The wording was powerful and intense, reflecting your awe of her.

The descriptions were amazingly detailed and strong. One of my favorites by you, to my memory.

Great work!! Up awesome beautiful x 10


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I really appreciate that Ben... especially from you.

You have no diea how happy I am that you like it.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

The truth is, a lot of incredibly talented people find it hard to accept that they are indeed so talented. That's good though, it prevents getting a big head.

Your respect and admiration for me is returned by me to you. That gives us both something to look forward to.

I could never create a poem such as this, honestly. Not without using a dictionary.

I don't quite have this kind of vocabulary...this is stunning, and anyone would agree :]


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 5 years ago

What can I say, Ian - so beautifully written. I could reel out various adjectives in praise of your work, but I wouldn't have as much to do justice to your talent!! Rated up and marked awesome, the least I can do for this fantastic piece of writing :)


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you Shil. I can always rely on you to come and have a look at my scribblings. I hope I never disappoint you.

Best and most heartfelt wishes,

Ian


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 5 years ago

Scribblings, you say - well, I wish I could scribble like you then :)

Ian, you don't have to worry, rather I have to! Reading your work makes me want to never disappoint you with any of my ordinary and mundane offerings!!


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

That's the whole point, Shil. They aren't mundane.

And because of your kind words, I am, right now, writing a poem, because you have fired me to do so. I haven't written any poetry for far too long, and your encouragement and that of Ben have made me try again... Whether it works or not, I don't know yet, but my output is meagre, and we will see.

Watch this space. Ha ha ha!


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 5 years ago

That's wonderful Ian, I'd be tuned in for sure :)


AngRose profile image

AngRose 5 years ago

Oh Ian, this is gorgeous, absolutely delicious poetry! I love this passionate side of you. I agree with Ben about truly talented people not knowing how truly talented they really are. You, my friend, are truly talented. More than you will ever acknowledge. Perhaps it has to stay that way to keep you hungry, to keep that longing inside of you, because I think that is where some of your best works come from. They just seem to flow from your soul. Loved it. xoxo


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I started to blush when I read what Ben has written, because he is a great wordsmith himself, and I don't think he would take many prisoners. And now I am blushing properly. Think how long I took before I started to air my writing. Perhaps ... I don't know. I was going to rationalise, but I can't explain,,, it just sort of runs away with me sometimes.

Thank you anyway, Angie. You are a treasure.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

Oh my! I'm all melty. Line after line I'd mumble to myself "oooh that's good." She left her mark upon you, that is obvious.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Melty and liquid... Wow! Thank you Randy. Yes, you hit the nail on the head. I am so pleased you appreciate it.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

Makes me wish I wasn't green eyed and pale.... sigh.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I love green eyes. I really do.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Every word so carefully and skillfully chosen to communicate the person, Ian. You have either a rich treasure trove of memory and experience or an imagination beyond imagining! I'm truly blown away. Your light has been a bit under a bushel! How wonderful that it is out and shining brightly - carrying us all away briefly to your Elysian secret gardens.

". . .imbibe your honeyed breath upon my face. . ." OHMYGOD, Ian - you're volcanic! Of course - it's getting my votes across the ballot!


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

In my most mundane manner, I must say that I am pleased that you like it.

Now, back to me. Thank you, Nellie, I love your comment... It made me blush with pleasure and laugh out loud all at once:

"". . .imbibe your honeyed breath upon my face. . ." OHMYGOD, Ian - you're volcanic!"

I'm still smiling and, yes, blushing.

I'm afraid that that is the way my mind travels. Fortunately, it is only my mind, or else I think I might have been arrested by now... Well I was, but not for honeyed verse!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Ah - but obviously, the poetry police just haven't caught up with you and your honeyed verse yet! ( . . . fanning self).

I think we'll keep you and alibi for you if they find out now. You're good at this poetry stuff!

You're on your own about the blushing, though. . . .

I think I rather not know what that one arrest concerned. . . . (wink)


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Drugs! Malicious damage! You choose...

Oh I forgot.

Both.

No, it's not really as bad as it sounds. It was funny enough to be the basis of a short hub... If I could be bothered.


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

It is so beautiful... To me one version of paradise would be -- being lost in someone eyes, losing myself and yet having the luxury of being myself.

In fact, I only once felt it - with Mein Lieber A. - I drowned in his bottomless eyes and all I could remember was that we were talking without having this exhausting pattern of disagreeing on every other issue. It was effortless sailing in the sea of words and ideas. Once you felt it, you are hooked forever, it is like a drug.

*********************************************************

"The eye is completely subjective

The eye is a question of an attitude

The eye may lose itself

If it has not neither a story, nor substance

The eye is perhaps the perfect definition of the soul

In any case, it is strange, fathomless, but fascinating."

Sylvie Montagnon

********************************************************

Her art has the same effect - it pulls you in...


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I think you really like it... I am pleased. You wouldn't say otherwise, I am sure.

I remember that little bit of poetry that tumbled out when we were exchanging comments... I hope I can find it. That also worked; brief as it was.


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

I did like it, I know, Ian, my comments are different, I never say "AWESOME". I am not the type, it does not mean I don't like it, I am not really comfortable with "awesomeness".

I think when I read anything and when I read your poems, it feels like watching TV in a sense that I don't look at a black screen but it is a window into some other reality, I dive into a different world, I see some beautiful woman with the eyes that take you in and nothing can bring you back, it is a feeling, an impression, a journey that takes a shape of its own. Your poem opened the door and I went into a different world of thoughts, images, stories -- my own mind you. I no longer analyze the words or the rhymes that you used...

But please don't feel offended - there other readers who get fascinated by the words you put on a string and are careful enough to bring our attention to these exquisite details. We don't have to be the same, we don't have to be the same.

Besides, you told me that my words march like well trained soldiers... Sometimes they do... I want sometimes to escape this analytical (paralytical) aspect of my mind and just drown in the ocean of poetry, art, associations, images, sounds, scents... Anything, but analysis.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

"I dive into a different world"... That's nice. It reminds me of a line I used in a poem that only two other people have read apart from me.

That's not analytical, Svetlana, that's poetic.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

i've no first hand knowledge of either so . . . But if your poetry is the byproduct, it's a good thing for readers.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I had to scroll back to see what you were referring to. No, my dear one, I don't do drugs. I have never needed to... I experimented with hashish a few times and was bored. I get on absolute highs and lows without them, so why pay what comes naturally? (Cue for song)

I will publish a hub at some stage and call it something like 'How to get Arrested without really Trying'. It will be more of a send up, along the lines of Mark Ewbie or Christopher Reilly, but not as clever as either of them.

Now Robert Browning's Kubla Khan was a product of opium (Bugger that postman), and I love that... Prokosch must have read it and I'm on the Merry-go-Round (Carousel?)again.


H P Roychoudhury profile image

H P Roychoudhury 5 years ago from Guwahati, India

It is Very nice and beautiful - an exposure of great talent. Thanks for sharing.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you H.P. for reading it and enjoying it. I am flattered by your words, Sir.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Dear Ian,

Simply beautiful..deeply alluring..it reminded me of Song of Solomon in its rich descriptions and feelings...Thank you. I do not know how I missed this one...

Sunnie


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

The Song of Solomon is one of the most beautiful and erotic poems, but so lovely and nice at the same time. I remember reading it when I was a young(ish) boy and being struck by it.

I think you've read about everything I have published on HP... As I said, don't forget 14th May.

Ian


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

I evidently asked to be informed when this received comments, so-after several weeks, it did - and I was drawn back to relish it again, Ian. It really is delicious.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you, Nellie. I am glad you like it. It’s a rather old one, and I think it was one of the first.

Where have you been? I have been watching the news and wondering if any of you have been caught up in the awfulness of the hurricane/cyclone and if all is OK.

Things have been rather full on this side of the Pond with William and Catherine… Oops! The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. I watched it all on TV and I have to admit I had a little weep. Princess Diana would have been so happy and so proud of them.

It certainly made me fall in love with the Royal Family all over again. I don’t like Prince Charles and his ghastly father, but the Queen does a great job and the new married couple make us all feel very optimistic that things can only get better.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

The storms have bypassed Dallas, so far - miraculously. But vast areas of the South were leveled and many lives lost. it's a major tragedy and the President declared it a National Emergency, as it definitely is. We were under severe storm warning all yesterday and today it's been raining and has turned chilly for May. Each time we've been under severe storm warnings, though, the path has veered and it's gone north or south of us. Oh, we've had some heavy rain and a little hail, but nothing like what has swept across the country, in whose path we actually had been.

Personally, I've been sort of in limbo lately. But it's a promising one, I think. We shall see!

I also watched the Royal Wedding and shed some tears. In spite of the hype and extreme media coverage, there was something genuinely touching and real about it. William & Catherine are indeed a promising royal couple. Even postponing a honeymoon seems done in a realistic and admirable spirit. Of course, she's a lovely young woman who does live up to the example of Princess Diana.

I'm rather indifferent to many of the royal family, though they've always just "been there" as a sort of stanchion to sense and order. But I do like the Queen, too. Her inauguration was during "my heyday". I'd followed many of the royals on the RKO Pathe News at the movie theater. I was 'in on it' when the children were born, as I'd been when Edward VIII abdicated for the woman he loved and when his brother became King George Vl. I saw Elizabeth and Margaret Rose as little kids, - when that newsreel was the only animated media we had, - in jerky black and white, of course. Then Elizabeth had "Bonnie Prince Charles", as the media called him, and his siblings Anne, Andrew and Edward. RKO Pathe showed them romping on the lawn, as the preceding generation had been shown doing. Funny how indelible is still is in memory.

For this event, I had to set my alarm to be up a little before 4AM to watch the proceedings on TV. It was worth it, I thought. Even the pomp and circumstance didn't cloud the pure joy of a wedding of two young folks who really seem to care deeply about each other and about what is expected of them. I was quite favorably impressed.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

How beautifully written, Nellie. You have said everything so well. I had started to go off the Royal Family at the time of the death of Diana, and although a Monarchist, I just wished that they would all go away (apart from the Queen, who does a wonderful job, although she still maintains a lot of the antiquated ideas from too fart back). But the wedding mad me think, just as you do, that here are a wonderful couple with their feet on the ground, and something to love.

The chat radio stations have been full of it and the republicans were given very short shrift. I can see their point about "accidents of birth" and all the rest of it, but they are basically a crowd of "have nots" and miseries.

If you ever get a chance to listen to the radio (I wonder if there are enough hours in Nellieday!) Try to listen to LBC which is on 97.3 FM in this country. I know people listen to it on their computers in the USA, because sometimes they comment and send texts and e-mails. It's a wonderful talk radio show.

So glad the hurricane has missed you. I grieve for all those poor people who lost their lives, families and property. It was heartbreaking watching them crying surrounded by what looked like a war zone, or worse.

Big hug from me,

Ian


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

OH yes, Nellie. I loved your "Potted history of the British Royal Family through Pathe news". It was deliciously right and correct. Bless you.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

haha - yes - it was as close as a little girl in Southwest Texas could have gotten to exposure to all the royal developments. I was always fascinated with history of all kinds, though.

Thank you for your most interesting comments, too!


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I have woken this morning to be told that Osama bin Laden is dead. the guy who makes sure that I am fed and watered has just told me that he was killed near the Military Complex in Abbotabad, his home town. This place is only a five minutes walk from his brother's home, very close also to his family home. He is actually talking to his mother right now and gathering local details.

Bin Laden and al Qaida were responsible for bombing all over Pakistan every day... Good riddance to evil filth.

The place of my birth, Nellie... "Breathes there the man with soul to dead..."


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Amazing.

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