Think before You Act
By Roldens Paulynice
On a summer day, it was very hot. The temperature was more than ninety eight degrees Fahrenheit. I went to a beach party in Port-au-Prince. The beach was full of people, trees, and rocks. It was amazing and awesome. At the beach, I saw a young lady. I approached her. "What is your name?" I asked her with a smile on my face.
She said, "My name is Mary."
Her voice was so amazing and beautiful. I presumably felt that it was the first time that I heard a beautiful voice like that. Her eyes were green. Her hair was dark, and the color of her skin was red. She was very tall and sexy.
She wore a short shirt that was blue and white without sleeves and a white and black adidas shoes and a black bikini that absolutely or astonishingly suited her body shape. In addition to that, I could see her gorgeous belly button or her beautiful and sexy stomach and thighs that definitely turned me on or caused me to be lost or drove me to be certainly somehow crazy for her.
Mary and I continued to talk to each other. We got to know each other a little bit, we exchanged phone numbers so that at least I could have called her sometimes in order to listen to her beautiful voice, which would satisfy me, and we became friends. While we were talking to each other, we saw a black man who wore a big short pant without any shirt, which could make it visible to anyone to see his big stomach that rocked like a bowl fully of jelly and rosy red cheeks, and long size sandals or dangerously high or big peep toe heels feet likely to be on show. He was very tall and big. Mary pointed her finger at him. "His name is Jean," said Mary. "He is one of my best friends." She called him. She introduced him to me. I talked to him, exchanging phone numbers with him, and I became friends with him too.
As I was at the beach, I felt that the sun shining down on me, the sand beneath my toes, and the tides coming in and out. The sand beneath my feet glittered brightly in the sunlight. The bright specks of umbrellas that dotted the seashore during the summertime were all around the beach. The beach was full of sand castles and buckets and children playing happily along the shore. This summer time beach was full of people and unbelievable. The sea was now dark and turbulent seeming as though it was hiding some deep secret beneath its murky waters. A few yards away, two seagulls stood silently, ominously gazing at the ocean's surf. Their stillness was unsettling as I remembered that last summer they had squawked and fluttered about, trying desperately to sneak a piece of a vacationer's picnic. The sky above was gray and stony, such a contrast to the bright sunshine, which was very hot, that had shone down on me last summer. I walked to the edge of the shore and stood mesmerized by the ocean. The ocean seemed angry. It crashed into the seaside, causing me to jump back. A few seconds later, another crash came forward this time almost knocking me over. I decided that I had had enough. I turned and walked back to the boardwalk vowing to only visit the beach in the summer. I turned back for one last look before I head home. The seagulls had not moved. They stood silently on the crowded beach on the hot weather or hot sand. They also seemed mesmerized by the dark and hot sea. The coconut trees gently swayed in the hot air.
It was getting dark. Mary, Jean, and I left the beach. While we were walking on the street, we continued to talk to each other. When we arrived at Rue de Champ-de-Mars, we said goodbye to each other. And we diverged.
When I arrived home, I laid down on my bed and took a deep breath. I could feel within my heart that I got convinced that Mary seemed to be the kind of girl whom I had been looking for, but a part of me said no. I kept thinking about how I could better the relationship between me and Mary. After a couple of hours, I fell asleep.
The next day had come. I called Mary because I wanted to get to know her better. She told me that she was sixteen-years-old. She would be in eleventh grade. She planned to study medicine after she graduated high school. When I asked her, did she have a boyfriend? She responded, "No." She said that Raymond Pierre, her father, died in a car accident. He died when she was seven. She was raised by a single mother named Malucia Pierre. She went on to say that her mother was thirty-eight-years-old. She was a nurse. She had also studied finance at the Universite d'Etat d'Haiti.
She also told me that she did not have any sister or brother, but she had a niece named Jenny. Jenny, Mary mother's son's baby, was eleven-years-old, and she was in her last year in elementary school. Both her father and her mother died since she was three-years-old. They died in a motorcycle accident in Gonaives. Mary said that Jenny was raised by her mother, and they grew up together. As a result, she considered Jenny as her sister.
She went on to tell me that she liked and used to go to a field trip every year or every Valentine's Day. It always took place at a garden named the Garden of Paradise. This garden was where she and Jean met. She used to go there with her mother, and they used to sit by a statue, having great conversations about their personal experiences and problems or about their personal lives. The statue was one of a man named Jean Jacques Dessalines hugging with his wife named Marie-Claire Heureuse Félicité. “Last year, my niece went to the field trip with my mother and me,” she said. “We had a great time together. My mother was so excited. However, we used to feel so lonely because we didn't have any intimate companionship or partner with us while almost all people in the field trip had their intimate partners with them; as a result, I used to feel that I was in need of a partner as my mother every time I went to the field trip."
I told Mary that I was seventeen-years-old. I would be a senior at Lycee Fabre Gefrard High School, and I planned to go to college to study accounting and business administration after I graduated. I did not have a girlfriend. I told her that my father also died. Renel Paulynice, my father, died of a heart attack since I was three-years-old. I was raised by a single mother. My mother was named Esperantha Aimable. She was forty-one-years-old. She was a math teacher at La Belle Souers Des Unis College. She had studied mathematics and education at the Universite D'etat D'Haiti.
"I don't have any sister or brother," I also told her.
I called Jean after a couple of days. He told me that he had already graduated high school. He was twenty-years-old. He currently studied biology, pre-pharmacy, at the University d'Etat d'Haiti. He didn’t have any sister or brother. He was the only son and only baby. He said that his mother was named Ronise Charles. She was married with his father since she was twenty-years-old. She was a merchant. She used to sell books, notes books, and school clothes. She died in Port-de-Paix in a political demonstration at the age of forty. At that time, Jean was ten-years-old. Since that time, his father had been single and had been both his mother and his father. He was the one who supported him, did laundry for him, cooked for him, or paid for his school expenses. He really respected his father more than he respected himself. There was no other one on this earth that he would love more than his father. He said that his father was named Kennel Jean Baptist. He was fifty -five -years-old. “If you know me,” said Jean, “you don’t even have to know my father. We look like we are twins. He looks like me. He is very big, fat, tall, or ugly like me. My mother was very short and sexy. They used to call her shorty. I used to see how my father used to easily kiss my mother on the top of her head even when she wore some highly platform shoes.” When he said that, I laughed out loudly and said to him as I was smiling, “I really like the way that you describe your father and your mother Jean.” Jean said that his father was a French Professor at the Universite Notre Dame d'Haiti. He had studied French, literature, or linguistic at the Universite d’Etat d’Haiti and had studied communication at the Universite Notre Dame d'Haiti. His father told him that he was known by many professors as a smart student at the University when he was a student. He thought that his father was lying to him, but after his father showed him all the awards that he had received from many experienced professors, he realized that what his father told him was true. His father was a Christian and had a good heart. He was known by everyone as a generous professor because after school, he liked to help high school students with their homework and taught them some strategies that they could use to pass their tests, especially the College Readiness Test, which could also be beneficial to them in life or in the real world. In addition to that, his father had never failed a student. Even if the students didn’t do well on their tests, he was always ready to assist them by allowing them to make up their works or by giving them some extra works for extra credits. I said to Jean, “Your father has a good heart.” When I asked him to tell me a little bit about Mary, he responded that Mary was absolutely great. She was smart. She was in the top five percent of her class. She had a good reputation in high school for being respectful to everyone. "She is my best friend," he said.
For all my life, I had been everywhere looking for a girl who would be the best and most precious Angel in my life, a girl who would be the adventurer, the braver, and the fighter for my life and her life. She would be the perfect heartbeat that beat within me and would be someone that would stand by me and cuddle me close. We would do everything together. I wanted a girl who would be my best friend that would love me dearly as I would love her. I wanted us to be the couple to be remembered as the best couple that I had ever lived in the history of all living creatures and a couple that would live a real happy ending and fought for each other. Words weren’t enough for me to describe this girl because she would be the girl who would make me speechless. Every word that she would say would be like a heaven of a cloud that floated within me and set my fears and pain free and far away. She would be the sister that I never had, but I would have. She would be good-looking, gorgeous, stunning, striking, fine-looking, attractive, handsome, lovely, picturesque, scenic, delightful, charming, wonderful, exquisite, pleasing, superb, magnificent, cute, hot, and sexy. I had been everywhere looking for a smart and respectful girl, a girl who had a great vision as I did, but I could not find this girl. However, after Jean told me how Mary was smart and respectful, I realized that Mary was absolutely the kind of girl whom I had been looking for.
The relationship between me and Mary started getting better, but I wasn't brave. We called each other every day. One day, she introduced me to her mother as one of his best male friends, and I also presented her to my mother as my only female friend. Every weekend, we went to cinema, dinner, theater, museum, concert, or basketball game together. Also, we used to go to a park named The Park of Henry Christophe, studying or doing homework together or eating barbecue or griot together. There were times that we spent times in a park called National History Park, which consisted of the Sans-Souci Palace, the Citadelle Laferrière, and the buildings of Ramiers, talking to each other about what we wanted to do with our lives or what type of person that we would like to date. Fortunately, our points of views were similar in many ways, and Mary seemed to have the majority of the qualities that I really wanted from a girl based on what she told me when we shared ideas together. Every time I was with her, I could feel that my heart was beating rapidly. It was hard for me to look at her deeply in her eyes. Sometimes, when I tried to secretly look at her, when she looked at me unexpectedly, I put my head down and smiled with frustration. She used to smile at me every time I did that. I could feel profoundly that there were some transformations that effectuated inside of me that I was incapable of describing, but telling her how I felt was my biggest weakness or problem. The most painful or the weakest thing that I could ever experience in my life was that I did not have enough bravery to let her know how I felt.
There were times that we went out with Jean. When we asked him about what type of girl that he liked to date, he used to respond comically, "I would like to date a very big fat tall lady like me." However, the most interesting part was that Jean wanted to date an educated girl, a girl who had a great vision as he did. Desperately, Jean always said that he thought that he would never find a girl who really liked him because most of his classmates kept calling him "big fat ugly tall man". There was a single girl whom he had been waiting for for more than two years with the hope that he would have her because the girl told him to wait on her, but the girl left him standing there and dated another man, one of his best male friends named Johnny, instead of him when she decided to date someone. That really hurt him. He said that if he knew that the girl would do that to him, he would move on with his life. That taught him a moral lesson. He said, "Sometimes even though we love someone so bad, we have to learn to move on with our lives. Doing a lot of crazy stuff for someone are not the determinants that are going to make that person loves us. Someone who loves us was born to love us, understands almost every single word that we say, and feels compatible with us no matter how we are. Most of the time, we don't even have to do a lot of crazy stuff for someone who loves us in order for him or her to understand us. If we feel that someone doesn't love us, let him or her go and wait for the right person." In addition to that, he had been rejected by every other girl that he talked to; as a result, he became afraid of expressing his feeling to any girl that he liked. He also said that he felt that his life was senseless without a girl. He felt so lonely and felt sorrow. His place wasn't supposed to be on this earth anymore. We always said to Jean as a way of encouraging him, "Remember God is an on time God. May be he's training you to be a great husband my friend. Sometimes we have to show our patience toward someone whom we really love in order for that person to determine if we really love him or her. Everyone was made to be loved by someone. But finding this person is not easy. It requires a lot of time, hope, or patience.You may get rejected or get hurt by those girls because they are not the one." He used to laugh out loudly every time we said that to him as he had the hope that he would find someone who loved him. Mary and I used to laugh out loudly too. "Jean, you know what is so funny and sad at the same time," I said. " Someone may almost die for you or love you, joking or talking to you every day or going out with you every day, and that person may be one of your best friends; unfortunately, he or she may never tell you that, keeping this feeling secretly to himself or to herself. That is one of the thing that can make you realize that someone may actually love you, but you don't know. When you find this girl, make sure that you don’t let her go like that because it's easy to lose someone, but finding someone like the one you lose is complicatedly hard and takes a lot of time. That’s why it's important for us to know how to treat our partner. When you find this girl, give her what she wants as soon and as much as you can. Don't think that you’re going to find someone who's better than her if you lose her or let her go because forgetting the sweet memories, tenderness, positivities, and caress of the one whom you already adapt to is hard even though sometimes you are in a new relationship.That may be why sometimes losing someone makes us realize the importance of that person. It may be the girl who terribly broke your heart whom you're going to spend the rest of your life with. You never know. It is not reasonable for anyone to say never. Never say never in life. We all don't know where life is going to put us." Jean used to laugh out loudly. He used to hopefully say with smile on his face that what we said was funny.
One time, Jean, Mary, and I went to a park, talking to each other. At the park, green grasses were blowing gently in the summer breeze. Dogs were running to catch Frisbees and a ball, stopping to drink water from a nearby creek. Kids were laughing and playing. Gentle breezes were blowing through our hair as we sat under a shade tree. Squirrels were chasing each other up and down, and birds were flying all over the park, which was named as the Park of Alexandre Petion, as we were talking. While we were talking to each other, Jean could not forget about his experience with the girl who terribly broke his heart into pieces. He started talking about it. I asked Jean, “Who was this girl who broke your heart like that? "
He responded, “Her name is Kerlandy Pierre Charles.”
"She has a beautiful name, " Mary and I responded.
Jean said that Kerlandy was a girl whom he was crazy for. He met her when he was in tenth grade, and she was a freshman in high school. He just met her on a Monday in the school cafeteria, and since that day, he was already crazy for her. During high school, he didn't talk to any other girls than Kerlandy. Kerlandy used to tell Jean that her parents didn't want her to be in a relationship because she was too young and was still in school, but she told him to wait on her. Every time Jean's classmates saw him, they called him Kerlandy because all of them already knew that this girl drove him crazy, but there were some of them who felt sympathy for him; as a result, they used to talk to Kerlandy for him, trying to give him some helps in the game or telling kerlandy that if she let Jean go, she would never find a man who would love her as him. Sometimes Jean's teachers used to give him detentions for coming late to class; he came late to class because he had to walk Kerlandy to her class after every single period, which usually took him more than a quarter of an hour, and when he was about to go to his class, he arrived fifteen minutes late. There was one of kerlandy‘s friends, Johnny, his classmate, whom Jean said that he gave a letter to to give to kerlandy for him. What Johnny did was that he didn’t give Kerlandy the letter, but during a break in his English 1 class, Johnny said to kerlandy in front of everyone in the class, “This is what Jean said to you.” Johnny read the whole letter, every single word in the letter, in the class in front of everybody. Jean said that the professor was laughing at him and said, “Look at big and persuasive words that you use in your letter, but when it comes to my class, you can’t even write a persuasive essay. I think that it may be because of this girl. She took your mind; as a result, you perform poorly in my class.” Jean said that he felt so embarrassed for two weeks every time he was in that class. When he was in twelfth grade and was about to graduate, he felt so sad and desperate; as a result, he put his knees down in front of Kerlandy and said as he was crying in the cafeteria during launch and as a lot of her friends and Kerlandy’s friends were there, “Kerlandy, I am the man who really loves you. Do you want to lose me? Do you want to lose the man who is ready to do whatever it takes to fight for you? Please Kerlandy. I can’t resist through that pain anymore. Help me out. Next week is my graduation, and I am not happy to see myself going to graduate high school because I don’t have you in my life. Please make me happy for my graduation. Just do me a favor. Just give your heart to me.” Kerlandy felt pity for him. She did not know what to say. She said, “I can’t do that right now. Please just give me some time to think about that." Jean said as he was about to take off her knees on the floor in front of Kerlandy or was about to stand up, his head got knocked in one of the tables in the cafeteria. His classmates laughed out loudly at him, but Kerlandy responded, “Don’t do that to him.” He felt so ashamed. He said, “I am coming back.” He went out the cafeteria and never came back. His graduation day came. He wasn't happy during his graduation because he realized that he was about to graduate high school but didn't have Kerlandy. Most of his classmates were kissing or taking picture with their girlfriends or their boyfriends after graduation, but he didn't have anyone to kiss or to take picture with. He cried. He went on to say that the relationship between him and kerlandy didn't fall apart even though he graduated high school and was in college. He called her every day and told her how he cared about her. She used to tell him, " When I am ready to be in a relationship, I would date you." However, there were some of his male friends who used to tell him that Kerlandy was dating Johnny who was the man whom he had given the letter to to give to Kerlandy for him, but he didn’t believe what they said. There were times that he asked Kerlandy if she had a boyfriend or if it was true that she dated Johnny. Kerlandy used to responded, “Nope.” He said that every time that Kerlandy said that to him, he felt so happy somehow as he had the hope that he would get kerlandy one day in his life. One day, he was texting with Kerlandy on Facebook. Kerlandy told him that she loved him. She wanted him right now. Her heart belonged to him. He said that kerlandy said that she wanted him to come to see him today at three PM after her last period. The bell would ring in one hour. He had to make sure that he came. She reserved a kiss for him. Jean said that he felt so happy. He walked quickly on the road. He skipped his math class at the university because of that. He was very happy. His head was burning on the sun while he was walking on the road because it was very hot. His body or his clothes were watering with sweating. When he arrived at the school, he didn't see Kerlandy.
Jean said that the school was basically a two stories school with three hallways on each floor, and a main hallway downstairs leading to the cafeteria, the auditorium, and the gym. The gym had a door that led to the soccer and baseball field. Next to it were some bleachers, which were next to the parking lot. Behind the school was the football field, which had an entry to the school by the side of the cafeteria. The main entrance was at the beginning of the main hallway, connected by the office. In between two of the downstairs hallways and in front of the cafeteria entry was the courtyard, which had tables for the students to eat outside, and it had a gate behind it with a door leading to the softball field. In front of the school was a semi-circle drop off, and across the street was our chapel, our nurse, our counselor, and the father giving confessions. It was a catholic school named St Gerard High School and was exquisite and unbelievable. It had a lot of flowers, trees, water jets, and monuments of the old professors and faculties who died all around the school. There were also stairways in the far end of each hallway, and bathrooms were on the front of each hallway with boy’s bathrooms on one side and the girls' on the other. It also had three benches on the main hallway, and the library was next to the cafeteria at the beginning of the far hallway of the first floor. It had one computer lab on each hallway. In front of the computer lab building, they were a lot of black chairs that were made of metals that surrounded many black tables that were also made of metals.
Jean said that he sat on one of the black chairs at the school in front of the computer building and waited for Kerlandy, but she never came. He said that after a couple of hours, he realized that he had to leave because there was no way that he would see Kerlandy. He had been waiting for her for so long. There were no more students on the school grounds. As he was on his way to come back home, there was a big wing blowing and dust rising on the road. His body and his clothes got dirty with the dusts and sweating. He didn’t have a towel to dry his sweating body. After a couple of minutes, it started raining. He got wet in the rain or the storm. It thundered during the rain. The songs of the thunders were really noisy, and there were serious lightning during the rain; as a result, he was afraid while he was walking on the road. And he was the only one walking on the road. After a couple of minutes, while he was on the road, a rainbow came out then the sun and the clouds started to go away. When he arrived home, he took a shower and slept after a couple of seconds. He didn’t eat the food that his father, Kennel Jean Baptist, cooked for him on that day because he still felt frustrated by the song of the boisterous thunders and the severe lighting that he had been encountered or heard on the road. When he woke up on the next day, he was so terribly sick. He had a cold, a fever, and a flu that horribly annoyed him because he had gotten wet in the rain after being sweated in the sun. The same thing happened to him again and again. Kerlandy told him to come to see her at the library. The third time, it was in a park, but he didn't see her during both the second and the third times. Kerlandy graduated high school, and she attended the same university that he attended. He felt so happy because of that because he knew that he would have more time to talk to Kerlandy. When he asked Kerlandy, “Why you told me to come to see you more than two times at the library, at the park, or at your high school, but you never came?" Kerlandy felt confused. She responded that It wasn’t her. She didn't tell him that. He said that he felt confused but didn't even argue with Kerlandy because the power of love that he had for Kerlandy drove him to be blind and to be obedient. He kept pursuing or chasing Kerlandy while Kerlandy and he attended the same college as he used to talk to her back in High school, but Kerlandy still told him to wait on her. He did do that. One day, he saw Kerlandy crying at the science building.
"The science building was built in a manner that nobody would want to take their eyes away from looking at it," Jean said. It was a ground floor building. By looking at it, everyone may feel that the building was too gigantic. But as someone entered the building, he or she would come to know that it was very spacious, but the classes were next to each other. The interior looked so beautiful. The bottom half of the building were the restrooms, and the top half were the classes. The classes were amazing because their locations and views make them very desirable. The floor had been decorated by greenish color marbles, and the top part of the building was decorated with palm trees, which were made out of cement. It was very beautiful. Everything had been arranged properly. The sequences of the rooms were really good. All the classes were placed where they were supposed to be, so they added to the beauty of the building. The building had gardens all around it. Anyone who looked at these gardens would really enjoy the beauty of the nature too because it was in a hilltop and because it provided a beautiful view of the city. It was marvelous. It was the tallest building in the city, with about 50 floors. It had a huge glass tower, but it definitely stood out. It had become a famous building in the city and at the school. You could see it as you approached Manchester, and it was an easy place to meet people because it was so distinctive and easy to find. The most interesting thing about the science building was that there was a bar restaurant on the 23rd floor, which had spectacular views of the city and the school; it was definitely the best vantage point in Port-au-Prince because there were no walls, only huge windows, so you could look out over the city in any direction. There were a lot of chairs in front of the restaurant on the 23rd floor.
Jean said that he saw Kerlandy was sitting on a chair in front of the restaurant at the building on the 23rd floor and crying.
He felt so sad to see the girl whom he almost died for was crying. He asked her with frustration, “Why do you cry?”
Kerlandy said, “I cannot tell you that."
He felt so confused. He said to her with pain, “Please Kerlandy talk to me.”
Kerlandy said nothing.
He put his knees on the floor in front of kerlandy and said, “Please Kerlandy I am talking to you. Tell me what happened.”
Kerlandy said nothing but cried.
He cried with emotion because it hurt him deep down inside to see Kerlandy crying.
After a couple of seconds, Kerlandy told him as his knees were on the floor and as he was crying, “Jean, I feel that it is a shame on me to tell you that, but because you put your knees on the floor in front of me and cried or felt so sad to see me crying, I respect that. I would tell you what is wrong with me with pain, but that may hurt you. Do you still want me to tell you that?”
He felt so shocked, but he responded, “Yes.”
Kerlandy looked at him suspiciously and said to him, “I am sorry because I hurt you. I have been dating Johnny for two years. Now, what happen is that my father doesn't like Johnny for me. He keeps whipping me up. He makes me swear as a way to substantiate to him that I am going to break up with Johnny today. If I don’t do that today, he will kick me out in his house. I have been already sworn in front of him that I am going to break up with Johnny. People die when they swear for something that they will do if they don’t do it. If I don’t break up with Johnny, I think that I am going to die because I have been sworn in front of my father. I really love Johnny. My heart belongs to no other one than him. Now, I don't know what to do.”
Jean said that Johnny was coming while his knees were on the floor in front of Kerlandy and as his eyes were watering and interrupting his conversation with Kerlandy; as a result, he left and let Kerlandy and Johnny talking to each other. As he was walking out in the building, he cried secretly to himself because he realized that he lost kerlandy.
One day, Johnny came from to the Hotel with Kerlandy. He showed him the condorm that he had been having sex with Kerlandy and said, “This is the girl whom you almost die for. I don’t even like her. I am just using her, and I am going to break up with her after I done using her. I am not even going to stay with her. She is not my girlfriend. I don’t consider her as my girlfriend. She is my fuck friend. I've just been coming from to fuck her in the hotel.”
Jean said that he felt so sad when Johnny said that to him because he really liked Kerlandy and because he could not believe that the girl whom he almost died for was treated by another man less than a bag of trash or had no importance to another man. His heart broke into pieces again.
Kerlandy didn’t talk to him anymore because she felt so shy every time she saw him as she felt so wrong for what she did to him because she told him to wait on her and used to tell him that she didn't use to date Johnny. She had lied to him. She tried not to stay anywhere that she knew that he was. She didn't want him to see her.
Jean said that he approached her one time. He said to her as he was crying, " If anything happens to you, you are responsible. If a man used you and walked away, you would be responsible for that because I was ready to spend the rest of my life with you. No matter who's going to be your husband, no matter what you're going to become, or no matter where life is going to put you, but one day, you will remember me. In addition to that, always put in your mind that there is someone who loves you. He loves you forever. I am that person, and I will continue to love you no matter what happen. I will continue to care about you. I want you to be happy for the rest of your life even though you are not with me."
Jean said that the next day Johnny, one of his best friends, approached him and told him as he was laughing at him that he had been dating kerlandy for years, and he was the one who used to text him on Facebook and told him to come to see him at some places. Every time he did that, he parked his car somewhere and looked at him sitting somewhere and waiting for Kerlandy at the place that he told him to wait for Kerlandy on facebook by using Kerlandy's profile while he was laughing at him. He said to Jean, "Kerlandy is my girlfriend. I know her facebook's username and password. I was the one who used to text you, not Kerlandy."
Jean said that he said nothing, but he secretly cried inside of himself like a baby because he felt so sad.
Mary and I laughed out loudly.
" You are a weak man," I said to Jean in a comic way or as I was joking on him. " You cried too much for Kerlandy man."
Jean responded to me, " Crying for somebody that you love doesn't mean that you are a weak man or a weak woman, but it means how strong that the feeling that you have for that person is or how strong you love that person."
I said to Jean as I was smiling, " I know. I was joking with you."
" Okay," Jean said as he was smiling too.
Mary asked as she was laughing at Jean, " If a man cries when a girl breaks his heart or hurts his feeling, what about a girl who's less resistant than a man?"
"Love doesn't know if you are a man or a girl. It just makes us feel the same way and can make us do any crazy stuff. Sometimes it makes us cry or blind or deny the truth and believe a lie .That's why it's crucial not to play with someone's feeling. When someone tells you that she or he loves you, try to take that in consideration; it’s not a joke," Jean responded with a sweet tone of voice.
I said, " That is true."
"How old is Kerlandy right now Jean?" Mary asked Jean with curiosity.
"If I am twenty-years-old right now," Jean responded, "she is nineteen-years-old."
"That would be a great couple if you had the chance to have her in your life," I said to Jean.
Jean said with frustration, " Yeah, but unfortunately things don't go on my way."
" Is Johnny, the man she prefers to date instead of you, a good looking guy?" Mary curiously questioned Jean again.
Jean responded, " Yes. He has normal height and long hair. The color of his skin is like the skin color of a black French guy. He has beautiful teeth and a beautiful gape. He's very sexy. He was voted by many females in one of my classes, my English class, as the best looking guy in the class."
Mary responded to Jean, " That may be why she prefers to date Johnny instead of you. Most girls in our ages are not really looking for qualities, but qualities should be the primary reasons for dating someone. They mostly date a guy solely on the basis of his physical attraction or for material things. One day or in the future, looking back, they're going to realize that they made terrible mistake in their lives as my mom used to tell me, and they're going to realize if they can go back in the past to fix the mistakes that they made, they will. However, most of the times, they will not be able to fix those mistakes; as a result, those mistakes may serve them as obstacles for most or for the rest of their lives. Some of my mother's friends used to talk to my mom about those types of mistakes that they made in their lives. Some of them used to say, 'I regret right now. If I was with this guy, my life would never be miserable like that. I remember him.'Imagine that you are married to someone because you just only feel attracted to that person’s physical attraction. If something happens to that person, such as he or she loses an ear or a hand, will you continue to share your feelings with that person? May be you will, or you will not. One thing that many of them are not aware of is that the physical attraction can go away at any time.That’s why it’s not reasonable to date someone solely on the basis of his physical attraction. But those young girls make those mistakes in their lives. If you don’t love someone, don’t date him or her for financial reasons because you are going to feel embarrassed every time you are with that person or every time you are going to make love to that person. It is not reasonable to do that. It is going to cost you so much embarrassment. There is no logical connection between love and money if you don’t really love that person."
" Sometimes men feel so insecured when they are not financially stable or are not materially prepared, especially young men between the ages of sixteen to twenty-five who are still in school with the hope of trying to achieve something in their lives so that their future could be great, to talk or to chase girls who are in their ages, " I responded, " because most of them know that nowadays there are some girls in their ages who just like men for material things. If they are not financially stable, those girls would reject them. Those men realize that if a girl was there for you when you didn't have anything while you were in school, it would be reasonable to stay or to spend the rest of your life with this girl.One thing that I know for sure is that many girls are not like those girls. Some girls just like men for who they are."
"Jean used to say that to us," responded Mary. "Someone who really loves us was born to love us, loves us for who we are, and feels compatible with us no matter how we are. If a girl doesn't like a man who is in school like her due to lack of material things, that means that she doesn't really love that guy. Education is the power or the future of a young man between the ages of sixteen to twenty-five. If a girl doesn't care about your education, she doesn't really like you. One day, those girls are going to realize that they made mistakes in their lives."
I said, "Love is an essential or a vital characteristic of human living, but it brings both happiness and pain in our lives. That's why we should have the expectancy that both positive and negative things can happen to us when we are in love. As a result, we should have the spirit of courage, strength, and a sort of reasonability to deal with these things. Be in love requires a lot of sacrifices.It is one of the greatest gifts that God gave each and every one of us. Some people think that it’s about a fairytale or about money, but it’s not. It’s about compromising, understanding, forgiving, and growing together as one. It’s about sacrificing and even putting the other person first sometimes."
Mary said as a way of joking on Jean, “Jean was ready to do all those stuff for Kerlandy. Am I right Jean?”
" One day, Kerlandy will remember me more than your mom's friends remember some guys," Jean said to Mary with confidence.
I talked to Malucia Pierre ,Mary’s mother, sometimes when I went to her house. Her house was fancy, beautiful, or small, and it was made of bricks and glasses. Even if you were outside the house, you could see almost everything inside of it. In front of the house, there were a lot of flowers, trees, and grasses. The house was surrounded by canals or rivers where some people used to come to fish by using their boats sometimes or come to take showers. The canals and the rivers could help any creature breathing a healthy or soothing air. Mary's mother used to raise pigeons. Pigeons were all over her house. I used to go to her house to study or to do homework together with Mary, and she experienced the same problem that Jean and my mother experienced. She used to tell me that she just wanted a man whom she could spend the rest of her life with. Unfortunately, she could not find love since her husband, Mary’s father, died, but many men had been using her and walked away. She had been hurt by a lot of guys. Some of them said that she had kid. They didn't want to spend the rest of their lives with a mom, a woman who had kid. Esperantha Aimable, my mom, experienced that same problem too. Mary’s mother used to tell me that she became afraid of men and felt desperate because she could not find her love. She said, “Men are liars. They use sweet words to convince you with the mentality that they’re just looking for one thing, and once they find it, they walk away. They completely change. That’s why I am trying to be too protective toward my daughter. I would not let her date any type of men. Some men may use her as some men have been using me and walk away.” She said to me that after a man hurt her, she dated another man in order to cover the mistake that she made or the painful experience, but she got hurt again or got hurt more by the another man. I used to tell her, “Every man is not the same. There are some men who are real. If they say they love you, they say it for real. Love has no boundaries, no distance, or no barriers. The right person is coming. It requires patience. When you meet that guy, he will not care whether you have kid or not or whether you are old or not because the power of love will drive him fool for you and will cause him to be blind. I know that there are some painful problems that someone experiences in his or her life that can make him or her unable to remain reasonable when he or she thinks about them. For example, your ex-wife or your ex-husband may break your heart; don’t just foolishly get married or date someone else in order to show to your ex that you can find someone else or to alleviate the pain because you never know what the other person may do to you. Getting married foolishly can lead to divorce. Many people get divorced for many reasons, and divorce can represent a problem in the family, causing the children to suffer sometimes. Bad experiences in life just happen for a reason. They can serve you as an example so that in the future you avoid other similar things that may happen. Getting married or dating to cover a mistake or a painful experience is not reasonable.” She used to smiled. But there were times that she used to say to me that I was too much for my age. She used to smile happily with the hope that she would find that guy one day.
Also, there were times that I went to jean’s house, and I talked to his father, Kennel Jean Baptist, and other people. In front of the building where Jean and Kennel lived, there were some people who used to play domino. Some of them used to have intelligent conversation, but some of them didn’t because some girls used to talk about how some men could not satisfy them during sexual intercourse or because some men used to talk about drug or how they had been having sex with some girls and what they did to make those girls cried loudly during sexual intercourse. Kennel used to say to me, “I would regret in my life if I had a daughter. If I had a daughter, those silly men may have the chance to talk about her like that in public, and that would be a shame on me. You never know. But I have some nieces and cousins. I always told them to stay away from some bad guys. Before they date a man, it is reasonable and crucial that they take time to really know who he is. Don’t let some creepy men put their pants down. That can be a shame on them." Kenel always felt frustrated by the things that those men used to say. I used to say, “I am happy that I don’t have any sister too, but I always tell my young cousins what you have been saying. Don’t let some creppy men use them. Take time to get to know someone before they date him or her.” Also, I used to tell those men that they had to stop doing what they were doing because that could cause them troubles, especially when they verbally said the name of the girls in front of everybody, and that wasn’t supposed to be a thing that a reasonable and an intelligent man should do. Some of them used to respond to me, “What you say is true.” However some of them used to joke on me. They used to say, “Go put your ass somewhere. That is not your business.”
One day, Kennel could not understand those men. He said, “Why didn’t you try to go to church at least every Sunday so that you may change after listening to the words of God instead of sitting there every day, playing domino, and talking about all crazy things?”
They responded to Kennel, “I would like to ask you five questions if you answered all of them correctly, I would go to church tonight. If you want, I will go with you. ”
Kennel responded as he really wanted to answer those questions so that those guys could go to church, “Yes.”
One of them asked Kennel, “Who is your mom?”
Kennel responded, “Claudette. She died since I was little. I don’t know anything about her.”
Another one of them suddenly asked Kennel right away after Kennel answered the question as they had been practiced for months to ask Kennel those questions, “Who is your father?”
Kennel responded, “Kenney. But I don’t know anything about him because he had died decades ago, and I don’t remember anything about him.”
Another one asked, “Who is Jesus' father? “
Kennel responded, “God is the father, and Mary is the mother. You all should know that.”
They responded to Kennel, “You are so smart. I hope that you keep up the good work if you can.”
“Let me ask that question,” one said. “Who is God's father?”
Kennel said nothing but felt confused.
Another one said, “It is okay. We will give you one more chance. We will ask you another question.”
One of them responded, “That will be great.”
A new one said, “This is the question. If you can’t answer it, don’t talk to us about God or church anymore because there is no way we will believe that God exists, and we will not be able to go to church with you. Who is the mother of God or who created him?”
Kennel said nothing.
Some of them laughed out loudly, “hahahaa hahahahahahahahahaha.”
They said together, “I don’t care what you are going to say to us or what you are going to say that the bible says. If you can’t answer this question, there are no ways we will go to church and believe in God.”
Kennel responded as he headed to his room with me, “Play with God. You all are going to hell if you don't change.”
They responded, “I am happy for you because you are going to heaving.”
One of them responded, “Some of them go to church, and they are wicked, jealous, selfish, and stupid more than some people who don’t go to church.”
Kennel said nothing, but he smiled with frustration as he was going to his room with me.
When we arrived, I found myself standing in the middle of a living room. My willies had left muddy footprints on the otherwise gleaming wooden floor. I was too anxious to sit in the cream soft leather sofa. I remained in the center like a grubby garden ornament. With my eyes only, I toured the spacious room. On my left side, there was a period fireplace with a tall pottery vase standing either side, displaying bouquets of sweet smelling flowers. On my right side, there was a white refrigerator, which had a black freeze at the top of it, and at the top of the freeze, there was a bouquet of flowers. Beside the refrigerator, there was a huge mirror that showed my reflection. I desperately wanted to cover myself over in a white sheet but for the fear of staining it muddy brown. Above my head, there was a chandelier hung with the afternoon sun glinting off the cut glass.
As Kennel and I were sitting in the living room, he said to me with frustration, “Don’t worry about these guys. They’re crazy. You better tell your cousins, sisters, or anyone in your family to stay away from them if they used to talk to one of them.”
I responded, “I don’t have a sister. But I don’t think my cousins or any of my family members would date one of them because I already told everyone in my family to take time to get to know someone before they date him or her.”
Kennel laughed out loudly and said to me that now it would be better if we talked about another subject. Kennel told me that he had been single for approximately a decade. All he wanted right now was a young lady between the ages of eighteen to twenty five so that he could spend the rest of his life with her. He prayed God almost every day; he had never found that girl yet.
I responded to Kennel that if he had not found that girl yet, it may be because it wasn’t in God's will. He started getting old. It would be better for him to date an old and an experienced girl like him. “Young women are pain in the ass,” I said to him. " They may serve you as obstacles for the rest of your life, and they may also cause you a lot of troubles or may cause you to die early. You are a good man, but don't put this idea in your head. It is not really reasonable. I don't want that bad things happen to a generous and a good man like you."
He responded, “I need a young girl. I am too old. I could not date an old lady like me. This couple would look ugly.”
I said to him that it may be God who passed by me so that I could say that to him. It would be better for him to date an old lady like him if he wanted to be happy for the rest of his life. A young lady would cause his life to be miserable. I said to him, " You see how some girls have been talking about some men who could not sexually satisfy them. You start getting old. The same thing will happen to you. You will not be able to satisfy this young girl if you find her. Young girls are hot. "
He responded, “HAHAHAHA,” as he had the hope that he would find a young lady one day or as he had been entertaining by the thing that I said.
I used to talk to an old man named Jacques Pierre whom his wife died since he was fifty-five-years-old. Jacques Pierre, my neighbor, was seventy-years-old. He was the father or grandfather of more than thirty children. He was very short and had long white beard and white hair. He respected me as I was an old man like him because I really respected him, and I was known by everyone as a respectful young man. He considered me as his son. We used to joke, talking to each other about our personal experiences. He used to tell me that he had been single for too long. He had been looking for an old lady like him so that he could spend the rest of his life with, someone who could cook for him, did laundry for him, or talked to him when he felt lonely, but he could not find her. He said that he felt so desperate about that. He was too old. He didn’t even know where he would find that lady. In addition to that, he was afraid because he started getting too old and couldn’t find someone to get married. I used to tell him, “Pray God. You are too experienced and generous. God will send you somebody because God understands the prayers of the righteous people. You believe in God. Pray him. Someone can get married at any age that she or he wants. Marriage is not a matter of age. If love doesn’t matter if you are old or not, why marriage should be based on that? The idea of getting married for the fear of getting too old is not rational. When you just foolishly get married to someone because you are scared of getting too old, you may encounter serious problems in your relationship after getting married. Before you get married to someone, try to know to whom you are getting married. Take your time to analyze that person. Don’t let the idea of getting too old make you make an unreasonable decision.” He smiled sometimes. He was a great guy. He was an extraordinary man. He used to say to me, "Okay,my son, God is my all in all. He is the only one that I believe in. I put all my faith on him but not in a human being like me. I also advise you not to put your faith in human beings like you. It is really dangerous as the bible says. Don't do it. I believe in God. I will continue to pray him." Jacques was a Christian. He liked to talk to others about the bible and tried to convince those who didn’t believe in God to accept God as their personal savior. He was known by everyone as an experienced advisor because he liked to advise other people or told them about what he went through in life and what lessons that he learned from them so that others could also learn from them to avoid similar things that may happen to them in the future. There were times when I had problems; he was the one whom I went to talk to so that he could assist me by giving me some good advises, which could help me to determine how to deal with the problems. One day, I called him and told him that I had a problem. I wanted his help.
"It is okay my son," he responded to me as he definitely wanted to assist me. "What do you need my advice about?"
I responded to him, "About relationship."
He said, "Okay."
"Are you home?" I asked him with a certain curiosity.
He said, "Yes."
"I am coming to see you," I responded to him.
He said, "I am waiting for you son."
I walked quickly. When I arrived, I knocked on the door of Pierre's room. He opened
the door and said to me as he shook my hand, "Hey son, how are you doing?"
"I am doing okay," I responded to him as I entered in his room with a smile on my face.
Pierre's room was very large and long. It had two fans. One of the fans was in front of Pierre's bed, and the other one was in front of his radio. His room had only one radio and one TV. The radio was playing a love song titled "When you love someone" by Bryan Adams. The television was on the table and was playing a love movie titled Romeo and Juliet. The table had a lot of books and journal papers that Pierre liked to read. He learned a lot of life lessons from reading those books, and he liked to share those lessons with other people. The floor of his room was covered with a blue carpet, and the wall was painting with a beautiful blue paint. His bed was also covered with a blue blanket and had a white pillow on it. Beside the bed, there was a black chair.
"You can sit on this chair my son," Pierre said to me with a smile on his face.
"Thank you Mr. Pierre," I responded to him joyously as I grabbed the chair to place it somewhere that was more appropriate so that I could sit on it.
"What do you need my advice about?" he asked me with curiosity.
I told Jacques Pierre as I put my head down, "There is a girl whom I really like, but I don't know how to approach her. She always behaves somehow different compared to other girls, which can make it difficult for any man including me to approach her, and I like that about her. I am afraid to tell her how I feel. I am afraid of rejection. The feeling starts getting stronger,
and I can't handle it. I don't know what to do. It is the first time in my life that I ever feel somehow like that."
"You took me back to first love - sometimes we feel infatuation is love - later we realize there is so much to experience and love, and my son, when I was in your age, I used to be like that," he responded to me while he was smiling. "I really know what you're talking about. It is nothing than the feeling that you have for her that is too strong that makes you afraid of approaching her in order to tell her how you feel.This is my advice to you my son. It is better to tell someone how you feel instead of dying with a feeling in your heart because you never know how the other person feels. If you don't tell her how you feel, how will she know that you like her? Act like a man. It is your job. Be fearless. Don't be afraid of rejection. Tell her how you feel. The longer you hide this feeling secretly to yourself is the stronger that it becomes."
"What's about if I send a friend of me who is her best friend talking to her for me," I responded to him with shyness, "because I think she may understand him better. He may try to persuade her for me."
"That will be one of the biggest mistakes that you will make in the game, " responded Jacques Pierre as he was smiling. " Most women don't like when guys do that. They're going to think that you are a creapy guy with no game, and that may even lesser your chance of having this girl. Don't do that. Be fearless of rejection. Approach her. There's no other one than you who can make her understand how you feel better. You're the one who should approach her. As I have been telling you, it is your job. You're the one who should approach her."
I responded to him, "Thank you so much daddy. I will tell her how I feel."
I shook Jacques's hand, hugged him tightly, and said goodbye to him.
He responded to me, "Bye."
When I arrived home, I laid down on my bed and took a deep breath. I said to myself as I closed my eyes, "It is better to tell someone how you feel instead of dying with a feeling in your heart because you never know how the other person feels. If you don't tell her how you feel, how will she know that you like her? Approach her. There's no other one than you who can make her understand how you feel better." After a couple of seconds, I realized something, and I learned from it. I learned from what Jacques Pierre told me. I realized that I should tell Mary how I felt.
There was also one day when I had a conversation with Jacques, and he explained to me the story of a man who explained the same story to him. Jacques said that the man was named Jeff, and he died years ago. He was a Christian. Jacques and he used to go to the same church. He had gotten married to a young lady. His father did not want the girl for him but for no reason. His mom used to tell him, “Don’t get married the girl yet. You have to take some time to get to know her better. You have to think about the possible consequences before you get married her. Marriage is not a joke.” However, he disobeyed his mom and his dad. He got married the girl. When he was getting married, no one in his family went to his marriage because they did not agree with the decision that he made, but he accepted the fact and carried out the burden by getting married the girl. He used to have conversations with some married men who used to tell him about how their wives had cheated on them, and as a result, they got divorced. One of the men even told him that he caught his wife cheating on his bed in his house, and he asked his wife, “Why do you cheat on me? I give you everything that you want.” His wife responded to him that she cheated on him because she felt so unhappy. she didn't really like him. She just dated him because she wanted financial supports or because she didn't have money; as a result, she needed someone to help her out. The man said to him that he felt so sad and remorseful; as a result, he killed his wife and all the kids. He was in prison for decades, but because he was a billionaire, he spent millions of dollars in court; as a result, he got out. Jeff used to respond to the man and the other men and said, “I trust my wife. She is a Christian girl, a good girl. I can bet on her that she is not going to cheat on me.” Jeff had two kids with his wife. He had been married her for decades. He loved his kids so much, more than his wife. He worked so hard to support his family. He was always busy, working all day and many nights. He did not even have enough time to relax with his family. One day, he came from to work. He came early that day because there was an incident at the company that he worked at; as a result, they closed everything and released all the employees and employers. When he arrived in front of his apartment, he opened the door of his living room.
Jeff said that his living room was in the second floor, and it was quite narrow. The floor was paved with green flowered bricks, and the wall was paved with white flowered bricks. These colors made the room brighter. It had one door and two windows. One window was near the steps, and the other one was its opposite. From this window, he could see blue sky and mild sea. This window was always opened to welcome the sunshine or the moonshine, but it was closed during this night. It was the most wonderful thing of this room. Because his wife liked to decorate this room naturally, there was always a vase of fresh flowers on the coffee table. This made his living room more beautiful so much. Besides, his living room had a big black TV, which was on a square cabinet, some pictures on the wall, and some calendars. He liked reading books and listening to music in his living room. It made him feel comfortable and relaxed so much. So the living room was the most favorite room of his in the house. He liked to sit on the middle of the room on one of the brown sofas with a black glass coffee table.The sofas were very suitable with each other.
As he entered in his room, he saw his two children laid down on the sofas. He heard a big song of a female's orgasm. He could not believe what he heard. He said secretly to himself, “I don’t think my wife is with a guy, and I don’t think she is watching porn either because she is a Christian." He walked silently in the living room. He opened his bedroom or his wife’s bedroom silently. He saw a man fucking a girl, and he still could not believe that the girl was his wife. He trembled with frustration. The man who fucked the girl felt so good; as a result, he did not know if Jeff was in the bedroom or didn't even know if someone opened the door. The girl didn't know either because she lost in making boisterous songs of orgasm. Jeff sat down on the floor so that the man and the girl could not see him. After a couple of seconds, he heard the girl said, “Wouch baby ...Wouuchwouch baby….You fuck me so good. My husband, Jeff, never fucked me like that. “Jeff said secretly to himself, “Now, I realize that it is my wife.” He felt frustrated. His heart was beating so fast. Every time the man slapped his wife’s buddy and pulled his wife’s hair, he felt so sad because his wife cried loudly, and every time the man penetrated his dick inside of his wife, he heard a big song or a big noise like a wing that entered inside of his wife’s external genitalia. Jeff said to himself with frustration, “What my wife’s been saying is true. I never fucked her so hard like that. The man is fucking her like he is in a World War 1 battle with her. I always tried to be protective toward her when I had sex with her. If I knew that she would say that, I would have sex with her savagely as this man.” Jeff could not resist through what he saw anymore; as a result, he stood up and turned on the light. The man and his wife felt so frustrated. His wife said to him, “Hey baby. How are you doing? Are you okay? Are you okay? I can not believe what you see.” The man stood up on the bed. The man was extremely tall and muscular like The Great khali, the WWE man. The man’s penis was big and long. He could not believe what he saw or could not believe that a man had a big and long penis like that. He cried secretly to himself because he could not believe that his wife had been taking a big, long, thing like that. His wife was too nude. He felt so frustrated too because he thought this big, muscular, or tall man would beat him for interrupting him from fucking the girl. He knew the man. The man used to play domino with him. The man left the bed and took a chair that was in front of the bed. He broke the window with the chair and walked out or runaway with his nudity. Jeff kissed his wife and said to her, “Hey baby. How are you doing? It’s been a long day. I have been working for the whole day. I am tired a little bit. Can I have a meal?”
His wife smiled with frustration. She said with frustration and stress, “Okay baby. I am going to get you some food.” His wife left the bedroom and went to the living room to prepare the food for him.
He was the only one staying in the bedroom. He saw the man’s pant, underwear, tight, blouse, and socks. He took all of them. He passed by the broken window where the man had passed by , and he put all the man’s clothes in his car and locked the car’s door. He returned to the room.
His wife came with the food and said, “Hey baby. This is the food.”
He said, “Thank you so much baby. That’s why I love you so much. You know that I went to work. You prepared a good food for me.” But he said secretly to himself, “You have been prepared this good food for the man who has been savagely fucking you. You are a fucking cheater.”
She responded, “Okay, baby. Thank you so much.”
He kissed his wife again and said, “Baby, let eat with me.”
He put the first spoon of food in his wife’s mouth to make sure that his wife didn’t give him a poisonous food because he had no trust on her anymore. Fortunately, his wife ate the spoon of food. After that, he ate the entire food while he had a great conversation with his wife but never talked to her about what she had been doing. After that, he laid down on his bed. He made love or had sex with his wife in order to play a political game with her so that he could show her that he had nothing with her or he did not care or did not see what was happening. He found nothing but a big hole that the other man had been created in his wife’s pussy. He slept after that, but it wasn’t a good sleep. He slept with one eye opened and the other one closed because he had no trust in his wife anymore; as a result, he thought that his wife may do something bad to him.
The next day had come. He went to work. Days came and gone. He never talked to his wife about what happened or about why she cheated on him, but every time Jeff had a family dinner with his wife, he wore the other man’s pant, underwear, tight, blouse, and socks that the other man or the man who had fucked his wife had left in the bedroom floor when he escaped by passing in the window that he broke as a way to remember his wife about what she did. He never verbally said that to his wife. His wife never said anything to him when he did that, but he could see frustration, guilt, suspicion, or despair in his wife’s face. Every time he went to church with his wife or to a date with her, he did the same thing or wore the same clothes, the clothes of the other man whom his wife cheated on him with.
One day, he came from to work; he saw his wife and his kids died. He called police. When policemen did investigations, they found out that the wife was the one who killed herself and the two kids.
Jeff had said to Jacques Pierre that he thought that his wife killed herself and the kids because she had a feeling of remorse, infidelity, suspicions, guilt, or embarrassment every time he wore the other man’s clothes. She thought and knew that he wore the other man's clothes just to show her or remember her that she had cheated on him. He said to Jacques that he thought that he would die too because he remembered his two kids. He did love them so bad.
After two years, Jeff died after his wife and his kids died. Jacques Pierre told me that he thought that Jeff died because he felt so sad or due to reminiscence or remembrance of his two children. He did love them so terribly bad.
I laughed out loudly, “Hahahahahahahaha.”However, I realized that the story was both funny and sad. That could happen to almost every man.
One day, I looked at back from what Jacques Pierre told me. When he told me, “It is better to tell someone how you feel instead of dying with a feeling in your heart because you never know how the other person feels. If you don't tell her how you feel, how will she know that you like her? Act like a man. It is your job. Be fearless. Don't be afraid of rejection. Tell her how you feel.” As a result, I felt that I had a certain bravery, a bravery that I could not have before, the bravery to tell Mary how I felt about her. I made a decision. I made the decision to call Mary to tell her how I cared and felt about her. I called her. I told her how I cared and felt about her.
"I can't believe what you are saying," she said on the phone with an unusual voice that I never used to hear from her since I met her. "If you want to say something, you can say what you really want to say."
"If I had to say what I really want to say," I responded to her with confidence and seriousness as my heart was beating so fast, "I would say that I love you."
She sang on the phone with a sweet voice that confused me and pleased me at the same time as she was playing or joking with me. However, the way she sang made me realize that she was not really interested. I said goodbye to her. I hanged off the phone.
I called Jean during that same day, telling him that I had been calling Mary.
He said to me suspiciously, "I have been calling her today too."
"That is great," I replied with a smile on my face.
"I am doing something right now," he said amicably, "so I am going to call you tonight."
"Okay, my friend, " I responded to him.
I called Jacques Pierre, and I told him that I had been calling the girl and told her how I felt.
“That is great my son,” Jacques responded to me with a happy voice as he was smiling on the phone. “What did she say to you?”
I responded to Jacques on the phone, “She sang on the phone with a sweet voice that confused me and pleased me at the same time as she was playing or joking with me. However, the way she sang made me realize that she was not really interested.”
“Ahhhhhhhhh,” Jacques said on the phone as he was laughing out loudly. “I already expected that she would act like that because girls, most of the time, tend not to tell you how they feel during the first day that you tell them how you feel.”
I responded to Jacques with an unusual voice, “I did not know that. As a result, I said goodbye to her and hanged off the phone because the way she acted made me realize that she wasn’t really interested in me.”
“Don’t let that discourage you. Continue to chase her. Don't give up in the game,” said Jacques Pierre.
“Okay, daddy,” I responded to him with a voice that was full of confidence. “Thank you so much for your advice. I will not give up in the game. I learn from what you have been telling me. I am going to call her during this week so that I can continue to tell her how I feel.”
"Okay, my son," he responded to me with a humble voice as he was laughing on the phone with me..
The relationship between me and Mary did not fall apart even though she acted like she was not really interested in me. Every day, I called her, telling her how I loved her. She always said that she wasn't ready to be in a relationship. However, that did not stop me from continuing to tell her that I was ready to spend the rest of my life with her or that she was the only one that my heart and my soul wanted or from continuing to ask her a favor or ask her to give me a chance so that I could show her what love was all about. She used to respond, "Give me sometimes to think about that. When I decided to date someone, I may think about you."
At that time, in addition to Jean, I used to have other male friends. They used to call me The Man Who Can’t Be Moved because I was the only one among them who did not have a girlfriend. They used to say to me as a way of joking on me that the end of the world would come, and I would never have a girlfriend in my life if I kept waiting on Mary. They used to encourage me to chase other girls. "As a man, it is not reasonable to chase only one girl," they used to say to me. However, fortunately, I wasn’t feeling embarrassed or discouraged every time they said that because I had the hope that I would get Mary one day in my life as I was waiting on her. I wasn’t interested in any other girls than her even though there were some other girls who used to flirt with me as a way to show me that they were interested in me. They were interested in me because I was known as a good looking guy, and I was known by everyone as one of the best dressers at the building that I used to live and at the school that I used to attend or as an intelligent, ambitious, respectful, or smart man. I could feel deeply inside of me that my heart did belong to her and that my life would be senseless without her. Seeing her made me feel so blessed and so alive even when after I had a bad day by making me have an overwhelming sensation, which I could not understand or describe. I was ready to do anything for her and even put myself last for her. When I slept, she was the first one that I saw in my dreams. She was the one who definitely preoccupied my dreams. Listening to her beautiful voice turned me on. Nothing else was important to me than her. She was my sunshine, joy, stars, and moon even though she acted sometimes like she wasn’t interested in me. I used to do some silly things for her that I had never done before for any other ones. I always used to do my best to see her at least one time per day or call her at least once a day, but if I did not see her or did not listen to her beautiful voice only for a day, I did feel that I was so incomplete and could not sleep at night because I would spend all the night talking to myself, wondering about how she was doing.
Among my other male friends, one day, one told me and my other male friends about one of the most painful experiences that he had ever endured in his life when he was in college. He said that there was a girl whom he was dying for. Her name was Merial. He did love her so terribly bad. He had a friend named Mark that the girl had a crush on, but Mark did not know if he was interested in this girl. His friends used to tell him about Mark. They used to tell him that the girl whom you almost died for had a crush on another guy named Mark. My friend had been chasing Merial for a long period of time. His friends told him that Merial told Mark about how she felt about him, but Mark wasn’t really interested.
Mark was known as a player. He had a lot of girls. He was not a good looking guy but was really a bad guy. He smoked, drank, or surfed a lot. He liked to party and to hang out with bad boys and bad girls.
My friend told me and my other friends that he graduated high school and went to college. He and Mark went to the same college, lived in the same apartment or the same dorm with two other guys, and became best friends; each of them had their own room. Merial went to the same college too. One day, while he was studying in his dorm, Mark came to him with Merial and said, “Hey buddy. This is my girlfriend Merial.”
Merial smiled; she said, “Hey. How are you doing? I haven’t seen you for a couple of days.”
Mark looked suspicious and responded, “Do you know him?”
Merial laughed out loudly and responded as she smiled suspiciously, “Yes.”
My friend said that he felt so sad deeply within his heart because he could not believe that the girl whom he had been chasing for so long had been taking by another man or by his best friend. After that, Mark went to his room with Merial and had sex. He could hear all the song of orgasms that Merial made when Mark was fucking her; as a result, he felt so sad and desperate in his room.
He also said that Merial's black hair was a rich shade of mahogany. It flowed in waves to adorn her glowing, porcelain-like skin. Her eyes, framed by long lashes, were a bright, emerald-green and seemed to brighten the world. A straight nose, full lips - she seemed the picture of perfection. When she smiled, the world would sigh with contentment. When she laughed, the world would laugh with her. And when she wept, the whole world would want to comfort her. She was very sexy and had normal height. She was very intelligent and had a great sense of humor and was talkative, but not chatty.
My friend went on to say that Mark did have many other girlfriends whom he used to come to his room with in order to have sex. Mark did not have respect for Merial. He treated her as a bag of trash. He used to beat her or abused her in any other type of ways, using profanity to disrespect her as a bad boy. Even when Mark had disrespected Merial, Merial was still submissive and obedient toward him or show him respect. He took Merial’s respect for granted to disrespect her more.
My friend said that they were times that he could not believe how could the girl whom he almost died for was treated by another man less than a bag of trash or had no importance to another man. Every time after Mark had been disrespected her, he had sex with her, and Merial accepted that. There were times that my friend said that he thought that the girl had low self-esteem because how could she continue to share his life with a man who treated her as a bag of trash, but there were also times that he realized that it was the power of love that caused her to still be in love with Mark because even if Mark treated her like that or had sex with her or even if she left him standing there and dated Mark, how could he still be in love with her too? “It is the power of love that causes us to be blind and obedient toward someone whom we really love even when he or she hurts us,” said my friend.
One day, my friend said that Merial caught Mark with another girl in his room. She said to Mark tenderly, “Mark, you know that I really love you. Why do you cheat on me? I do all my best and put all my effort out to satisfy you in any kind of ways, but why do you do this to me? If you wanted to have sex, you could have called me. You know that I would come for you.”
The other girl said nothing. She felt frustrated because she thought that Merial would do something bad to her, but fortunately, Merial did nothing to her.
Mark responded to Merial with authority, “Fuck you bitch. Don’t you see that I am freaking fucking? You better leave my room right now. That is freaking disrespectful.”
Merial responded to Mark with a sweet tone of voice, “Mark, I love you so much. How can you treat me like that in front of this girl? You know that my heart belongs to you.”
Mark said nothing but fucked the other girl. He displaced his anger from Merial to the other girl by fucking her so hard.
Merial felt so frustrated and sad. She came to Mark, tried to kiss Mark, and said, “Mark, I love you. If you want to have sex with me right now, just do it. Please don’t cheat on me.”
Mark responded, “Fuck you bitch. If you don’t leave my room right now, I would call the school officers for you. I would tell them that I don’t even know you, and you come to my room to interrupt me.”
She said nothing but cried with passion, emotion, and tenderness in front of Mark while Mark was fucking with the door right open. She said to Mark after a couple of minutes, “Mark, my feeling for you never changes. I still love you no matter what happens. I was born to love you.”
Mark said nothing, but he stood up with his dick too hard, took Merial with his big muscular hand on the neck, and threw her out in his room, and he closed the door “blow blow” and said, “Fuck you bitch. You better leave me alone right now. If you don’t, I will kill you next time.”
Merial said nothing but cried loudly in front of the closing door while Mark was fucking the other girl who made some loudly gigantic sounds of orgasms.
My friend said that he felt sympathy; as a result, he got out in his room and said to Merial with a sweet tone of voice, “Why do you cry Merial? Don’t you know that it hurts me so deep inside to see that you are crying? Tell me what is wrong. Tell me what happens.”
Merial responded while she was crying, “I cannot tell you.”
He responded, “Please tell me what happens.”
Merial responded while she was crying, “I love Mark so bad, and he doesn’t return to me the same feeling. He doesn’t care about me. Listen to him inside of his room having sex with another female. I think that I am going to die. I really love him, but he doesn’t care about me. I don‘t know what to do.”
My friend said that he responded to her, “I am really sorry to hear that, and it hurts me too. But don’t you know that there is someone who cares about you or who is ready to show you what love is all about? I am ready to show you what love is all about. Why don’t you try to move on with your life? I am still in love with you, and I love you stronger than ever before.”
Merial said nothing but cried. After a couple of minutes, she said, “I don’t know what to do. I am still in love with him. My heart belongs to Mark. He is the one that I truly love. He is the one that I really need, the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I don’t know what to do.”
My friend said that he put his knees down in front of her and said, “I am ready to sacrifice for you. I am ready to do anything for you. Please give me the chance so that I can show you what love is all about.”
Merial cried and said, “I don’t know what to do. I still love him so much. If Mark breaks up with me, it is going to be a shame on me in front of my parents because I already presented him to my parents. I have many girlfriends that that happened to them. And I don’t want that to happen to me. I love Mark so much, so very much. I cried not only because I am jealous when Mark is with another girl but because I really love him and because my heart belongs to no other one than him. This jealousy is like a fire that burns into my heart and my soul. My heart and my soul are waiting for him right now to pacify them or to bring happiness to them. I cannot understand why Mark chooses to hurt someone who is ready to sacrifice for him or to give her own life to assist him if he is involved in a critical condition one day. I do all my best to make him happy or to please him, but unfortunately, applying my industriousness or my desire to make him happy or to please him contradicts my own feeling or my desire by making him to be mad, disrespectful, careless, or abusive toward me. I really love him. I don’t know what to do. There are times that I try to forget about Mark or to move on with my life, but I feel that my heart doesn’t belong to any other one but him. He is so deep in my mind. There's no way that I can leave this love behind. I love him so very much, and I think that this love is eternal.”
Mark opened the door. While he was opening the door, he got hit Merial unintentionally with the door, but he did not even say sorry to her. He got out in his room or left with the other girl and didn’t even say a word to Merial while she was sitting in front of the door and crying for him.
My friend said that he could not abide what he saw anymore because he really loved Merial; as a result, he said to Merial, “I‘ll be back.” He went to his room as he was crying and never came back, but Merial stayed in front of the door, crying for Mark.
After a couple of minutes, Mark came back in the apartment. He was very drank and alcoholic. He had been smoking. His eyes were too red.
Merial cried in front of him with her knees down on the floor and said, “Mark, please I really am sorry for what I did. I want you to forgive me for what I did. I admit that I should not come to your room while you were with the other girl, but Mark I do the things I do because I love you. I am sorry Mark. Please forgive me baby. Mark, I love you. I love you. I love you with all my heart and my soul.”
Mark felt sympathy for her and said with authority, “Okay bitch. I forgive you. Don’t ever do anything like that again. Anywhen you see me with a girl, don’t come to me or to my room. The shit is disrespectful.”
She said to Mark, “Thank you so much baby. Can I kiss you please?”
Mark responded with a big voice, “Yeah.”
After a couple of hours, Mark had sex with her. My friend said that he could hear almost all the noises that she made. Mark made her pay for what she did by fucking her with more anger or with no pity. He fucked her with more anger than ever before. My friend said that the same day while he was hearing how Mark was fucking her, he realized that he had to move on with his life because Merial did not like him but loved Mark even if Mark treated her as a bag of trash. "That is life," he said. After a couple of weeks, he moved on with his life. He said to me, “That is why you cannot talk to only Mary. You have to talk to other girls. I experienced that before, and I am trying to help you, The Man Who Can’t Be Moved. You need to move on with your life.”
My friend went on to say that one year later after Mark took Merial on the neck and threw her out in his room, he found out that Mark went to jail because he punched Merial so terribly bad. He almost killed her. He punched her or beat her only on her face or in her eyes because Merial was trying to be jealous every time he used to be with other girls. A neighbor called police; as a result, Mark got arrested. Merial was hospitalized for two months. When she got out of hospital, she signed a contract at the Police Department so that they could release Mark from jail. After Mark got out of jail, she applied all her industriousness to make up with Mark. They reconciled and lived back together in less than two weeks.
“Now, I don’t know if they are still together or not,” said my friend.
I always called Jean, my friend. And I always told him that I loved Mary. He used to tell me that Mary told him that she was not interested in me. Every time he said that to me, I felt so sad. However, I never felt so disheartened but felt confused because there were other people who used to tell me that Mary told them that she loved me, but some people used to tell me that she didn't.
One day, I sat somewhere quietly, and I pondered how I could use some persuasive statements to write a letter to Mary in order to convince her because I was confused about the idea when some people told me that Mary told them that she loved me while some said that she did not love me. After a couple of minutes, I took a piece of paper and a pen. I started writing a letter. Fortunately, a lot of romantic and persuasive thoughts came to my mind, and it took me four hours to write this letter. While I was almost finishing writing the letter, I saw Mary walking on the street. I felt so happy. I quickly wrote the rest of the letter. I gave her the letter. She took it. She smiled at me, and I smiled at her too.
After two months, Mary wrote a letter to me. She mentioned in her letter that she did not love me. She wanted me to leave her alone. She went on to say that she wanted me to stop calling her. She had been already taken by another man whom she really liked. If I kept calling her, that could cause her boyfriend to be jealous and had problem with her. She said, " I am sorry. My heart doesn't belong to you but belongs to the man whom I am dating right now."
After I read that letter, I was so stressed and pessimistic. I could not sleep. I could not study or do my homework. I kept saying to myself, " It looks like that the same thing that happened to Jean happens to me." There were times that I talked to my mother, to Jean, and to other people, and I used to tell them that I would kill myself one day. Unfortunately, none of them knew what I meant when I said that. They always asked me if I was crazy. I always told them that I would do that for a reason. Unfortunately, they never took time to talk to me in order to advise me because most of them thought that I was playing.
In addition to that, there were times that I saw Mary; I tried to talk to her, but she did not want to talk to me. However, she used to say to me sometimes, “Didn’t I tell you to leave me alone.” I called her. She never picked up my call, but sometimes she used to text me after a couple of minutes and said to me, “Leave me alone.” When I texted her back in order to continue the conversation on the phone, she never texted back, and that hurt me deeply inside of my heart because I realized that I was definitely on the way to lose her; as a result, my life would be miserable without her.
One day, I felt so sad and uncomfortable. I called Jean. Unfortunately, Jean did not answer the phone. I called Mary. She did not answer the phone, but she texted me after a couple of seconds and said, "Didn't I tell you to leave me alone or to stop calling me." I tried to sleep, but I could not sleep. I tried to eat, but I could not eat. I tried to watch TV in order to entertain myself or to ease my pain, but nothing worked. I listened to love songs in order to alleviate or to lessen the pain, but it became worse and more severe. I did not know what to do. The pain was complicatedly excruciating and was absolutely untreatable. I asked myself, "What should I do?" After a couple of minutes, "I don't know what to do," I said. "I am going to kill myself."
I walked silently in my room after a couple of seconds. My room contained a lot of things, and it was very large and long. The floor was covered with a black carpet. It was a spacious room, quiet, and purple wall. I shared it with no body. It had a nice and comfortable sofa, and beside it was a small closet where I put my books and some other stuff. By the closet was an armoire, which was where I put all my clothes. And in front, there were other parts of the room. On the right, there was a dressing table with a big mirror, and on it, you can find a hair brush and some make-up . Then on the left, you’ll see a door of the clothes room. The room had two doors. There were also two televisions, three radios, one refrigerator, four mirrors, and one table on the right side of my room. On the left side of my room, there were two fans and one computer. And in my room, there were two beds. One of them was mine, and the other was an extra one for visitor. My bed was in the middle of my room. In front of my bed, there was a gun, a 9minimeter, which we used for the safety of the house. I took it. I cocked it. I pointed it to my temple. I placed my index finger, the killing finger, on the trigger of the gun. I put my knees down. I closed my eyes to pray God. I prayed God to forgive me for all my sins and for the sin that I was going to commit, which was the act of killing myself. Then I say Amen! Now, I thought about pressing the trigger of the gun. I felt that there was someone's hand that pushed the gun away from my temple. My finger accidentally pressed the trigger of the gun. I heard, bow! Then I heard, "What! What! What are you doing?" I opened my eyes. It was the voice of my mother, Esperantha Aimable. So it was the hand of my mother that pushed the gun away from my temple. I turned around, and I saw a big hole that the shotgun has left in the wall.
My mother took the gun. She opened the window of the room, and she threw the gun at a deep and gigantic river that passed across the house.
My mother felt so confused. She asked, "What's wrong?"
"I don't know," I said.
"Are you crazy?" she questioned.
I answered, "No."
"What you were doing with the gun?" she asked.
"I was just playing," I said. "I would not do anything."
My mother said, "You are crazy. You play with your life! Don't you see you almost kill yourself?"
I said nothing.
After a couple of minutes, I told my mother the truth. I told her what I was going to do with the gun.
She looked at me desperately. "How do you think that you are not crazy," she asked, "when you almost killed yourself, especially over something trivial like that?"
"Sometimes we do some crazy stuff when we love someone," I responded to my mother as I was crying, "but that doesn't mean that we are crazy. Love simply makes us blind, and we are unable to follow what we want. However, our hearts and our souls choose to follow what they want while our bodies are unable to resist or to control this feeling. Sometimes, even though the one that our hearts and our souls want hurts us, we still can't stay away from that person because our hearts and our souls don't give us the chance to do that, and our hearts and our souls say yes even though sometimes our mouths say no. The heart is what we need to survive. We are obligated to please it. The soul directs the body to where it wants it. There's nothing we can do."
I looked at my mother, and I could see in my mother's face a face of despair. She was more desperate after she heard that expression. Her eyes were watering as she could not believe that her only son had almost died.
"Sit down," she said to me with a voice full of pain. "I want to talk to you."
"Okay," I replied.
"Don't do something like that anymore," she said. " You should always make sure that you control your feeling. You have to love people who love you and learn to move on from those who don't. You have to sacrifice yourself for people who are ready to sacrifice themselves for you. You have to think before you do certain things in life. Remember that for the rest of your life."
I responded, " Okay."
"Let the bird go and fly because you love the bird," she said to me as a way of strengthening or consoling me while I was enveloping in her arms. "If the bird comes back or thinks about you or you have the chance to have that bird after you let it go and fly, it is because the bird loves you or you and the bird were destined to be together. If it is the contrary, it is because it wasn't meant to be. There're plenty of fish in the sea."
After my mother left my room, "Thank you Jesus," I said. "I almost killed myself." I laid down on my bed. I closed my eyes, and I thought about how I almost died. After a couple of minutes, I opened my eyes. I saw the big hole in the wall, which I considered as the representation of my death. I realized something, and I learned from it. I learned from what my mother told me. I realized that I should not try to kill myself for Mary.
After a couple of minutes, I called Jean. I told him with a voice full of frustration that I had almost died.
"What's wrong?" he asked me with curiosity as he felt so frustrated or nervous on the phone.
I replied to him with a little confidence, "Nothing."
"Are you okay?" he interrogated me nervously.
"I am good," I said to him as nothing bad really happened to me. "If that did not happen, my mother would never teach me a lesson, and I would never learn from it."
He questioned me, "Do you want to go on a field trip?"
"I want to go," I responded to him. "What date is the field trip?"
"The field trip is next month," he said. "I will pick you up."
I said to him, "Okay."
He said, " It's going to be a girlfriend boyfriend party. "
"I don't have a girlfriend," I said. "I can't go."
Jean said, "There will be some girls who don't have boyfriends too. You may meet them. If you do, you may meet your girl or a girl whom you may like in the field trip. You never know."
I responded, " Okay, I will go."
"You can invite other people too," he said to me as he really wanted other people to go to the field trip, "if you want."
"Okay," I responded to him. "I am going to invite my mother and my neighbor."
He said, "That will be great. My father is going to be there too"
"Okay," I said to him.
He said, " I have been inviting Guerline in the field trip too, telling her that she can invite other people if she wants. I will not have to pick her up because she has been telling me that I don't have to worry about her. Her father, her pastor, will drive her to the field trip."
"Okay," I responded to him. " By the way, who is Guerline? "
Jean replied to me that Guerline Ablard was his classmate, one of his best female friends, whom he knew since he was in high school, and they were attending the same university. She was studying chemistry, pre-medicine. She used to help Jean with his chemistry lab assignment. She was nineteen-years-old. She was very tall and had long hair. She was very intelligent and very sexy. Guerline was an orphan. She had great vision because of that. She grew up without a mother and a father. She didn’t have sisters or brothers or relatives. All of them died. Her father and her mother were politicians. They had political issues, Lavalas Vs. Convergence, with other people; as a result, a battle started between Guerline’s family and those people or the convergence people. Guerline really loved God. She was a Christian and was always busy because church and school were the two primary things that preoccupied her time. She used to live in a gigantic building where all her relatives and her families used to live. One day, some people, their political opponents, attacked them and burned their house. Unfortunately, everyone died, but fortunately, Guerline was in church. Jean said that Guerline told him that when she heard that, she cried a lot, and after a couple of minutes, she lost consciousness at the church. When she woke up, she saw herself at a hospital. There were times when she slept after the incident happened, she felt so afraid and frustrated because she used to sleep on the same bed with her little sisters or because she thought that her little sisters would come to take her and went to the next life with her. She thought that all the ghosts would come to play with her when she slept. At that time, Guerline was nine-years-old. After she got out in the hospital, her pastor, Morales St Hilaire, took her, and since that day, she lived with him.
Her pastor was very generous and had good heart. She considered her pastor as her father and the pastor’s family or relatives as her family or her relatives. Jean said that he knew her pastor. He was a very old man. He had long white beer and long white hair. He was very tall and skinny. This wrinkled and deprived elderly man always had a cane in his right hand even though he was at church. The cane helped him walking. He depended on the cane to do almost everything. He liked to advise young people who were in his church by telling them that it would be significant for them if they did their best to try to take opportunities in things that could assist them or put them in positions to learn, to experience, to develop as good human beings, to further their education, or to have more knowledge about the bible. "They have a place in this world or can become anything that they want. They are the future of the world. They have to stand up. They have to be industrious or confident that they can achieve anything in life as long as they work hard or know how to overcome the obstacles that they may face." He used to go on to tell them that, as young people, they had to leave school with certain mandatory skills or some expertise that could be helpful to them in the real world or in life in general. They had to do their best to try to have some required skills while they were in school so that they didn’t have to wait until after they graduated to have them. It could be somehow disadvantageous to them if they waited until after they graduated to have those required skills. He understood the value of education even though he didn’t have a college degree but had only a high school diploma. He spent a lot of money on the young people who were in his church, especially when it came to their education. He liked to share the church’s helps or the church’s materials with everybody. He didn’t care if you were in his church or not or if you were a Christian or not. Everybody could come and took anything that they wanted as long as they shared something in the church. However, the bad part about her pastor as some young men said was that if you knew that you just came to his church to chase her young girls, he would not be embarrassed or ashamed to kick you out in his church in front of everybody or to call your name in front of everybody and said to you, “Get out in my church. You just come here to annoy my young ladies.” He did that not because he hated you but because he cared about his young girls. He was trying to be too protective toward them. In addition to that, if it was your first time that you came to his church, he always looked at you suspiciously like he thought that you came to his church to chase a girl even though you didn’t come for that. But as time passed by, he saw that you always came to church, he didn’t think that anymore. He became your friends. If you were a young man, he welcomed you in his church as one of the young believers of God. On the other hand, if you didn’t come to church anymore, when he saw you somewhere, he would say to you, “You already had the girl whom you came to my church for so that you could chase her. That is why you don’t come to church anymore. You already did what you wanted to do.” In addition to that, if he knew that anyone who was in his church was doing something bad or something that didn’t match God’s standard, he would say that publicly in front of everybody in the church because he wanted to make the one who was doing this bad thing feel so embarrassed so that he or she could change. “In overall, he is a good pastor,” Jean said. He was very passionate about sharing the gospel. His heart and attitude were contagious. Guerline's pastor was also known by everyone as an experienced pastor.
Guerline understood what did it mean when a young woman or a young man growing up without a father; as a result, she had great visions. She believed that she could touch the sky and could fly. Jean said to me that she used to tell him, “Young men or young women who grow up without fathers or mothers are more likely to work hard to see if they can become somebody in this world or to achieve good things in their lives. If a young man or a young woman grew up without a father and didn’t have any vision, I thought that it is because they underestimate the value of the sacrifices that they make in their lives to arrive at a certain age. They do not understand the challenges and problems that they face in their lives.“
I responded to Jean, “That is true. That’s why I am trying to achieve good things in my life. School and church are my priorities. I respect everybody. I want to leave a good legacy.”
Jean said that Guerline was one of Kerlandy's best friends. Kerlandy, the girl who had been broken his heart, used to tell her about her personal affairs, but when it came to him, he had never talked to Guerline about his affairs that were about Kerlandy when he used to chase kerlandy because Guerline was too closed with Kerlandy. He thought that she may tell Kerlandy everything if he told her anything. "You know how females like to talk Roldens," Jean said to me. " You and I are guys. I can tell you all my stuff, but I don't trust any girl."
"Okay," I responded to him. "Even when it comes to me, don't tell me about all your stuff. There are certain things that you should keep secretly to yourself. Don't ever tell anyone all your affairs. Don't fully trust everybody. "
"Okay, what you say is true," he replied, "Bye."
"Bye," I responded to him.
I hanged off the phone and turned off the light in my room.
I said to my mother, "Good night."
She said to me with an unusual voice as she still felt frustrated by what had been happened to me, "You are a crazy boy."
"I am not a crazy boy," I responded to her with an unusual voice.
She said to me, "Good night."
I replied to her, "Okay."
"Mom, by the way," I said to my mother after a couple of seconds, "can you go on a field trip with me next month."
"Next month will be summer vacation," she responded to me with assurance . "I will not have any math classes to teach. I will be free. I can go."
"Okay," I responded to her as I was smiling.
I called Jacques Pierre, my neighbor, inviting him in the field trip.
"I haven't gone to any field trip since I was in the age of thirty," he said to me. "I would be happy to go with you, my son."
"Okay," I responded to him on the phone.
He responded to me, “Okay, my son.”
“By the way Jacques,” I said to him, “You know that your son has been almost died.”
“What’s wrong?” he asked me with a frustrating voice on the phone.
I said, “Nothing is wrong. It wasn’t really a big thing. My mom was there. She helped me out. She taught me a lesson. I learned from it, and I would remember it for the rest of my entire life.”
"Are you sure?" he asked me with frustration.
"Yes," I said to him with confidence as nothing had happened to me.
“Okay, my son,” he responded to me on the phone. “You don’t need my help about anything? You know that I always available for you any when you need my help. You are more than a son for me because you are too respectful man, and that make me respect you and treat you as an adult like me.”
“No,” I responded to him.
He said to me, “Okay, my son.”
“Bye,” I said to him. “I talked to you later.”
“Okay, my son,” he said to me. “Bye.”
I said good night to Jacques Pierre with a smile on my face as I was about to hang off the phone.
"Good night," he responded to me too.
After a couple of days, I started to apply what my mother told me. I never called Mary. When I saw her, I acted like I did not see her or like I did not know her. I never talked to her anymore.
On a Saturday morning, Jacques Pierre was with me and was definitely ready for the field trip.
Jean, my friend, came to pick me up this morning with his father, Kennel.
I said to my mom as I was sitting in her living room with Jacques, Kennel, and Jean , "Jean is there. It is the field trip time."
" Okay," she said to me as she walked out in her bedroom or as she was about to come to her living room.
My mom’s living room contained a big, black, couch and a rocking chair. The wall was painting with a white paint and had a pan card that had several different animal sculptures or pictures. Also, it had many photo frames, pictures, awards, and certificates of family members and friends. The floor was covered with a black and white carpet. It had a black refrigerator, which had a white freeze at the top of it, and at the top of the freeze, there was a bouquet of flowers. The room had a huge dining table that was encircled by many chairs and four beautiful sofas that surrounded a table, which had a big TV on it, and on top of the TV, there was a beautiful flower. In addition to that, there was another table on the left side of the room. This table had a computer and a lot of books, journal or newspapers, or magazines that I liked to read when I went to the living room to watch TV , to play PlayStation games, or to have a meal. Visitors used to read those books, journal or newspapers, or magazines. As Jacques Pierre and Kennel were reading two of the books, I asked Jean, "Where the field Trip is going to take place?"
"In a garden," he said.
Jacques Pierre said with a smile on his face, "That's great."
I replied as I started walking, "Let's go."
Jacques and Kennel left their books on the table and responded, " Let's go."
My mom and Jean said, " Okay."
Quickly, we walked on the road. While we were walking on the road, Jacques and Jean got to know each other and became friends, and Kennel, Jean's father, also got to know Jacques and my mother and became friends. When we arrived, Jacques Pierre and Kennel looked tired, took deep breaths, and drank a lot of water, and we sat in front of a table containing a lot of food and beer. We were talking to each other about our personal experiences and problems. Beside us, there were other people who were talking too, and we could not hear anything they said. In the back of us, there were two statues. Also, there were two men who played with a snake. In front of us, there were some children who sat in front of a river, and they played with their pets and other creatures that they found in the river and may be between the ages of five to twelve. That place was peaceful. Jean, Jacques, my mother ,Kennel, and I could only hear the song of the birds singing their sweet melodies while we were talking. Also, it was exquisite and unbelievable. It contained a lot of flowers, trees, mountains, rivers, and animals. They surrounded almost most of the place, and that made the place had a fresh air that could help any creature to breathe a healthy air. The waters in the rivers were bright, clean, or sparkling. Some of the rivers’ speeds were roaring, cascading, treacherous, or rolling. Some of them were rippling, splashing, sluggish, or stagnant. The courses of the rivers were winding and branching. The trees were strong, leafy, tall, colorful, green, stout, massive, and grand. They were different kind of flowers in the place. They had different colors, sizes, and shapes. They had petals and often attract small birds and bees, and that added to the beauty of that place. As we sat on the table, small birds came to sit on us and on the table. That was amazing, magnificent, and unbelievable.This place was known as Le Jardin de Paradis, which was situated in Port-au-Prince, Haiti. While Jean, Jacques Pierre, my mother, Kennel, and I were talking to each other, Jean asked me, "How is Mary?"
I said, "I don't know."
"How you don't know?" he replied while he was laughing.
"Mary is not in my mind anymore," I said to him with confidence. "It's been two weeks since I saw her."
He responded to me suspiciously, "That is not amazing."
My mother responded with a suspicious voice, "Mhhhh"
"Daddy, why do you keep drinking water like that?" I asked jacques Pierre with curiosity.
Jacques Pierre responded to me with an unusual voice as he put the bottle of water down, " We have been walking with too much rapidity on the road. I am really tired. I am too old. I cannot walk quickly like that."
Kennel said, " I am tired too. I started getting old."
"Sorry," we all responded to Jacques Pierre and Kennel. "Next time, we will walk slowly."
Kennel and Jacques responded, "It is okay my kids."
"Okay daddies," we replied to them.
Jean said, " I am really fat. I am a little tired too. Fat people, most of the time, get tired easily."
Everyone was laughing, "hahahahahaha."
After a couple of minutes, we sat quietly under a shade tree by a mountain. By one side of the mountain, the clouds mist lifted gradually. They came from the dull patches of red glowing far beyond the cliffs. Beside the mountain and at the top of it, they were thrusting spires of naked rocks into the heavens so high that everyone would believe that the very sky was pierced. It was composed of granite, covering with thorny shrubs and acacia trees. Many of the trees branches were twisted and mangled in spooky shapes: like hands reaching out to grab you. Bark had rotted off the trunk in places and dark red sap was running down it. Under the shade tree we sat, there was a crow fluttered from a branch at the top off the tree. That branch was the only one with some form of life, having a few leaves hanging off a twig. The tree was too beautiful with its green leaves. It was really high. In a simple statement, the tree was majestic, beautiful, alpine, rolling, snow-capped, gradual, highland, gentle, sheer, and craggy. As we sat under the shade tree by the mountain, we looked at attentively the men who played with the snake and the children who sat in front of the river that contained a lot of animals. It was an amazing day. Many people took pleasure from hearing the sweet melodies of the birds in the garden. After a while, we went to sit in front of the river where the children played.
"You know that Mary loves you," said one of the children, a little girl, with a smile on her face as she looked at me deeply in my eyes.
The little girl was wearing a sundress. Its light skirt flowed out above her knees showing of her toned legs. She was a beautiful child. Her hair was the color of raspberries and was tied in plaits. It was decorated with little beads. Her shoes were not anything a kid would wear. They were slightly-heeled and extremely thin. Her bracelets matched her ivory skin perfectly.
I responded to her with a humble voice, "You are playing with me."
"I am not playing with you," she replied as she was smiling at me.
Jean said with a suspicious voice, "That sounds amazing and interesting."
"Of course, it is," I responded to him as I found what the little girl said was mysterious.
I asked my mother and Jacques Pierre, "What do you think?"
"I don't know," my mom said as she didn't know what to say.
But Jacques Pierre responded comically as he was laughing, "Love always sounds amazing and interesting, especially in your age you find a girl likes you."
The little girl laughed out loudly as she said to Jacques Pierre, "You are funny daddy."
Jacques Pierre said to her while he was smiling, "Okay, my daughter."
Kennel said, " Most of the times, old men are funny."
"What is your name?" I asked the little girl with curiosity.
She said, "My name is Jenny."
"How do you know that she loves me?" I asked Jenny.
She replied, "She told my grandmother and me that."
"Are you her niece?" I asked her with curiosity. " I remember that Mary told me that she had a niece named Jenny who was raised by her mother."
She responded to me, " Yes, I am her niece, and I am the one whom you are talking about."
"How do you know that I am the one that she used to talk to you and your grandmother about," I questioned her again with curiosity.
She responded to me with a smile on her face, "Sometimes, when you walked down the street, she used to point her finger at you and said to me, ' This is Roldens Paulynice, the man whom I used to talk to you and my mother about. I love him. But I don't want to tell him that right now '. I used to laugh out loudly."
I said to her, "Okay."
"If you want to know if that is true," said Jenny as she was smiling, "go talk to her. She is in front of that statue with her mother."
I hugged Jenny as I closed my eyes. I gave her ten dollars, and I said thank you to her.
"I am going to ask Mary if she loves you," Jean, my friend, said to me suspiciously.
"We should go together," I replied to Jean.
Jean, Jacques Pierre, Kennel, my mother, and I went to sit in front of the statue where Jenny told us to go; unfortunately, we did not see Mary.
The statue was of a young man and a young lady hugging and kissing together. They were nude. Everyone could see everything on their bodies, but it was hard to see their breasts and their private parts because they were hugging too tightly.The man was pretty tall, and the lady was pretty short. Her hair was long. It was about ten feet tall and carved out from pure black granite. It is on a big platform surrounded by plants and flower pots. The statue symbolized peace and love. The statue was in the middle of a water jet. We took pleasure from playing with the water that came out in the water jet. In front of the statue, there was a white board. When I looked at the board, I saw La Saint Valentin, fête de l'amour, which was the name of the statue, written with a blue paint on the board. By the statue, there was another little statue, which was made of marble and was two feet height. It was the statue of an angel, a female. The figure had her arms folded and looked holy. It was graceful and polished; I thought that the angel was the most beautiful and most graceful little statue that I had ever seen. The angel face was emotionless yet somewhat peaceful. Her wings were like a blanket of purity and were feathery. Swan feathers, layer upon layer upon layer, silky smooth and white as snow. They obscured his face, a cloak of whiteness, hiding everything, bigger than the whole body, joined together by a line of gentle gold stars. She looked celestial, divine, ethereal, exquisite, gossamer, spiritual, sublime, and unearthly.
While Jean, Kennel, Jacques, my mother, and I were talking to each other, I heard Mary talking to her mother, but I did not know where she was exactly.
I said to them, " Mary is talking to her mother. I heard them. I know their voices. Let listened to what they said."
They obediently responded to me, "Okay."
After a couple of seconds, we remained quietly and listened attentively to what they said.
"Mom, you know that I love Roldens," Mary said to her mother. "I am going to call him to tell him how I feel."
Her mother replied to her, "Don't do that right now."
"I am going to call him in order to say that to him," she said to her mother again. " My feeling for him starts getting stronger. I don't want to lose him. I don't want him to move on to other girls. He did a lot of crazy things for me even when I acted like that I wasn't interested in him. I think he really loves me."
"I am going to say that to you again," her mother said. "In order for you to know if a guy really loves you, you have to take some time to carefully analyze him."
"I have been analyzing him for one year and a half," she persistently said to her mother. "I think he's a good guy. Right now, I should give him my heart."
"Don't do that right now," replied her mother. " I used to talk to you about my personal experiences, which are how some men used me and walked away. Remember what I told you. 'Men are liars. They use sweet words to convince you with the mentality that they’re just looking for one thing, and once they find it, they walk away. They completely change. That’s why I am trying to be too protective toward you. I would not let you date any type of man. Continue to analyze him'."
"I am going to continue to analyze him," she obediently responded to her mother.
"Jenny didn't lie," I said to Jean, Jacques, Kennel, and my mother with a smile on my face. "It's true that Mary loves me. But now, she is ready or has the will to tell me how she feels. Her mother seems to be the problem."
"That is true," Esperantha, my mother, Kennel, Jacques, and Jean responded.
I said to them, "Let's go."
While Jean, Jacques Pierre, my mother, Kennel, and I were walking quickly in the garden, we saw Mary and her mother. They talked to each other about me, but they did not see me.
Her mother, Jenny grandmother, was wearing a skirt, which had little flowers clipped on it. Her boots were knee-length. You couldn't see her top as she had a great big white shawl wrapped around it. Her shoes did not match her whole ensemble. She was wearing loafers. Her eyes weren't visible as her hat was blocking them. Her brown hair was cut neatly and fell in a perfect bob around her tiny heart-shaped face. If you didn't see her face, you wouldn't be able to tell if she was a mother or a grandmother.
"I can't wait to give Roldens my heart," Mary said to her mother. "I love him."
Her mother said to her again and again, "You have to take some time..."
As I stepped in, "Are you serious?" I curiously and suddenly asked Mary as I interrupted her conversation with her mother. "Why you never tell me how you feel?"
Mary put her head down and said nothing, but she took a deep breath.
"Please talk to me," I said to Mary tenderly.
"I love you Roldens," replied Mary with a little voice as she still put her head down.
"Why you did not tell me that?" I said to her with passion and tenderness as my eyes just started watering. "You should tell me that when you wrote the letter to me instead of telling me something that almost made me commit suicide. Your letter caused me so much pain."
"I did not tell you that," she replied as she was crying while she put her knees on the ground in front of me, "because I was trying to analyze you. I just wanted to know if you really loved me. I am really sorry Roldens. You know that love is a language spoken by everyone but understands by a heart. I want you to forgive me for all I did. I am aware that I was hurting you, but I didn't expect that I would hurt you. No one can promise that they will never hurt someone whom they really love because at one time or another, they will. Remember that heart was made to be broken or hurt. Please, please forgive me because I do care of you and love you. I was so embarrassed to tell you the truth but was trying to analyze you at the same time. Now, I realize that no one has ever died of embarrassment. I love you. I love you. You claimed that you could read my mind, predict my moods, and sense my feelings, so why didn’t you realize that I was so in love with you? I convinced you and some people that I didn’t like you and that I didn’t love you because I was trying to analyze you as my mother always told me to do and was embarrassed to tell you the truth, but at that time, all I was trying to do was to convince myself sometimes how could I try to forget every single word that you said to me, but I couldn’t. I love you, and I tell you that right now because I can’t help myself or can’t handle this feeling secretly to myself anymore. After I sent the letter to you, there were times that you saw me, and you acted like you didn't see me. You never called me. You never talked to me anymore. Didn't you know that I was worried about all those stuff? I thought that I was going to lose you, and I was afraid of that; as a result, I have tried to be persistent toward my mother. I kept telling her that I have to tell you how I feel. I am scared of what I feel, of what I did, or of what I said, but most of all, I don’t force myself to fall in love. I just fall in love for who you are and for every single word that you say to me, especially, the words in your letter, my heart and my soul that you take. In addition to that, I`ve loved you since I met you. I love you so much Roldens. Please, forgive me."
"It's okay," I responded to her as I was crying as my knees were on the floor too and as my hands were in her hands holding tightly."Don't worry, but I did all those stuff after the letter because I was trying to control my feeling as my mother told me to do. Mary, I love you forever with all my heart. That is why I do the things that I do. You're just my heart, my soul, my mind. Without you, I feel so incomplete. Without you, it is like I lose my mind, my heart, and my soul because you represent them, and you have their control. You represent a part of me. You are so vital to me. I need you to survive. You are so sensitive to my feelings and my emotions. That's why living without you on this earth is almost impossible. Mary, I love you more than you love me. My mind, my heart, and my soul belong to you. They don't belong to anyone else. They're always at your service. You are my strength. You’re the only one who can strengthen me by acting in my weakness. You are my all in all."
"Okay," she replied as she was smiling with tears in her eyes.
"Love is what the heart feels," I responded to her with a sweet tone of voice as I was crying. "Once you love somebody who loves you, you have to let your heart decide. Do what your heart wants you to do. That's why my heart convinces me deep down inside that I am in love with you. Don't ever force yourself to do something that your heart doesn't really mean, especially hiding your feeling for someone whom you really love. The longer you hide your feeling for someone is the longer that you make your heart suffer or the stronger that this feeling becomes. There's no better happiness than being with you, no better zeal than my penchant or my predilection to spend the rest of my life with you. You are the only one who has the key to my heart. I love you so much Mary, and I am ready to do whatever it takes to fight for our love. I am ready to show you what love is all about."
She closed her eyes. She thought deeply about something. After a couple of minutes, she hugged me and kissed me passionately. She said nothing, but she cried loudly with joy and passion while she was kissing me.
Jacques Pierre said to Mary and me with a smile on his face and with a soft voice as Mary and I were hugging each other, " I remember when I was in your ages. I remember my first love. I remember my wife. Love is always a beautiful thing. It can be scary and overwhelming. It can change people and drive them over the edge. It can be overemotional. But It's always an amazing and interesting thing. It is powerful."
Jenny, the little girl, said loudly as she saw Mary and me hugging each other tightly while she was walking in the garden, " I am happy for both of you. The little secret seems to be revealed."
I responded to her, "Thank you so much Jenny. God blesses you for the rest of your life in everything you do."
"Okay," she responded as she was smiling.
Jean said desperately, " I hope that I will find my girl one day" as Mary and I were kissing passionately and joyously with tears in our eyes while our knees were on the ground.
"Don't get discouraged," I responded to Jean as a way of encouraging him while I was hugging Mary with joy and passion. "God never gives pain without comfort or help. You will find your girl one day, but it requires a lot of time, hope, or patience. If I wasn't patient, I would never get Mary."
My mother said to me as she was smiling, "Don't talk about patience. You should say to yourself, 'if I did kill myself, I would never get Mary.' That should make you realize that you have to think before you do certain things in life."
Mary's mother said to jean, " Let's pray for each other jean so that God can help us find our love. He can send someone to us. I haven't found love since my husband died."
"Okay," Jean hopefully responded to Mary's mother, Malucia Pierre.
My mother desperately said, "Put me in your prayers too because I haven't found love since my husband, Renel Paulynice, died."
"Okay," Jean and Malucia, Mary's mother, said. "We will pray for you. Pray for us too."
I said hopelessly as I put my hand on the left side of the shoulder of Jacques Pierre with a tremendous respect, "Don't forget to put Jacques Pierre, my neighbor, the man who considers me as his son as I consider him as my dad, in our prayers. He hasn't find love since his wife died. He was fifty-five at that time. Now, he is almost seventy-two-years-old. I really want him to find his love. He is too righteous."
Jacques Pierre responded as his eyes were watering as he remembered his wife, "That will be great. I will pray for you too." But he smiled with frustration and hope.
"Okay," they responded, but Jean said that with a desperate voice as he realized that Jacques looked like someone who was like him or as he felt sorry for him. He hasn't found love for a long period of time as him.
Kennel said, " I am a Christian. I will pray for all of you. Pray for me too. I have been single for almost a decade since my wife died. I am looking for a young christian girl between the ages of eighteen to twenty-five. I pray God every day for that, but I could not find that girl."
Jean, my mother, and Malucia responded, " Okay, we will pray for you."
Jacques Pierre, the experienced man, responded as he was laughing , " Hahahahahahahahahah, in this case, I would not pray for you my brother even though you are a christian like me. Young girls in those ages are not your type my friend. If you asked me to pray for you to find an old lady like you, I would. Those young girls can serve you as obstacles for the rest of your life. When I look at you, I don't think that you can satisfy a young girl in those ages in all kind of ways, but you may spend money on them so that they can use your money to take care of other young men. That is the only way that I think that you can satisfy them. "
Everyone was laughing, " Haaaaahahahahahahahahahahaha..."
"No matter how young girls are, I need one, and God is going to send me a good one," said Kennel.
While we were in the garden, a girl said to Jean as she walked or as she approached us, “Hey Jean. I have been looking for you for months. I make mistakes in my life. I remember your words. I am responsible for what’s been happening to me. “
Jean said with frustration, “What is wrong? Who invited you in the field trip?”
“Guerline, one of my best friends, who is your friend, invited me in the field trip. She is in the field trip too with her pastor. Her pastor is the one who drives her and me. Nothing is wrong with me, but I will tell you what happen to me. Can you give me two minutes please?”
Jean said, “Okay.”
The girl was beautiful. I presumably felt that it was the second time that I saw a beautiful girl like that, but the first time was when I saw Mary. Her hair was long and black. She had normal height and very sexy. She had a big ass that could attract any man. Her eyes were brown, and the color of her skin was black.
Jean said to us, “I’ll be back.”
As jean was walking with the girl, Jacques Pierre looked at the girl with an unusual look and said, “She has a big ass. I remember my wife. Her ass is big like my wife’s ass.”
Kennel laughed out loudly, " Hahahahahahahahahahahaha...."
I said to Jacques Pierre as a way of joking with him, “This is so funny Jacques, but that is a sin. It is more than temptation. You commit a sin daddy.”
Jacques responded with a smile on his face, “I know my son that it is a sin. I remember my wife. By the way, we all commit sin my son. There’s no big sin or no little sin and no voluntary sin or involuntary sin. All sins are sins. No one is perfect.”
My mother said, “I remember the first day that I went to church. The church was amazingly beautiful, and the incredible exquisite design of the church was magnificent. This church was known as the First Haitian Baptist Church, which was located in Port-au-Prince at the Rue Christoph. The main entry was surrounded by some marvelous beautiful trees, flowers, or grasses and had within it a main door that made of glasses and woods. All over the entrance, there were flowers and trees. Inside of the church was full of people praying, singing, or exhausting God, and after a couple of hours after I entered inside the church, the preacher, Morales St Hilaire, started preaching, and the predication was about sin and said that all sins are sins, no big sin or small sin. What Jacques Pierre’s been saying is true. All sins are sins.”
Mary and her mother said, “That is true. I used to ear other people said that too.”
After a couple of minutes, Jean came. We asked him, “Where is the girl?”
He said as he pointed his finger at the girl, “She is there, waiting for me.”
We said, “Okay.”
Jean said , “Roldens and Mary, can I talk to both of you for two minutes?”
“Yes,” we responded.
Jean positioned himself between us as his hands were in our shoulders as he walked with us. His right hand was on my shoulder, and his left hand was on Mary’s shoulder. After a couple of minutes, he stopped and said to us, “I am actually in a very difficult and very complicated situation, and I don’t know what to do. You see the girl whom I have been talking to. She is Kerlandy, the girl whom I used to talk to you about, the girl who drove me crazy back in high school and both in my first and my second year in college, the girl who broke my heart.”
I said, “That is great. It looks like there is a good news.”
“I think there is a good news too,” Mary said.
Jean said, “Not really a good good news, but there is a good news.”
Jean told us as he was smiling that Kerlandy said sorry to him for everything that she did. Now, she realized that she had made a mistake in her life. She wanted him right now. Johnny, his best friends, whom he used to talk to us about or the man whom Kerlandy dated instead of him, had been broken Kerlandy's heart into pieces, treated her like trash, and took her for nothing. Jean said that she said that she remembered his words, especially when he said to her, “No matter what happened to you, you are responsible. If a man used you and walked away, you are responsible. You’ll remember me one day.” Jean said that she said that she came to the field trip because of him. Guerline, Kerlandy's friends, had told Kerlandy that he would be in the field trip. Kerlandy said that she had been looking for him for months; as a result, she realized that the field trip was the best place that she should be or should come to. Jean said that now he didn't know what to do. He wanted our help.
Mary asked, “Do you think that she really likes you Jean?”
“I don’t know for sure because she left me standing there and dated another man,” responded Jean.
I responded to Jean, “Try to forget about that Jean. If you really love someone, you have to be ready to forgive him or her for anything that he or she does to you. Love is forgiveness. Without forgiveness, there is no love. If you don’t do that, that can represent an obstacle for the love that you have for her. The love will not be able to grow the way that it is supposed to grow.”
Jean responded, “That is true. I am still in love with her. My feelings for her never change no matter what she did to me. I was born to love her. I did all those sacrifices because I did love her, but I don't know what to do right now because she left me standing there and dated another man. I don't want to date her, and in the future, she serves me as obstacles in my life. Sometimes people choose to be in a relationship with someone or date someone by compassion but not because they really like him or her or because they feel sympathy or pity for that person, especially, when he or she is been chassing them for so long or does too much crazy stuff for them. They just feel pity but weren't born to love that person, and most of the times, those relationships don't last.”
"Sometimes that may happen," I responded to Jean, " but in the middle of the relationship, that person can fall in love for you more than you fall in love for her or him based on the way you treat or show your profound, your passionate, or your natural feeling toward him or her and also based on the way you show your tolerance, your respect, and your attention to that person. You can also show him or her how you care about her. That is what we call true love or the natural feeling of love. It is when you love someone, and your feelings never change no matter what he or she does to you. It can cause you to be blind and to think and dream consistently about your partner. As a result, it is hard for you to stay away from your partner no matter what he or she does to you. You devote to be in the relationship; as a result, you do your best to show respect, compassion, tolerance, or a positive attitude toward your partner. It can make you think that your partner is the only one that exists on this earth. You are ready to forgive or have a feeling of compassion. That compassion can cause you to care more for your partner than yourself. When you care for your partner, you are ready to sacrifice for him or her. Your partner’s problems represent yours. Sometimes you may even want to sacrifice yourself to satisfy your partner’s needs. You show your partner respect, and when you respect your partner, you treat him or her with a special consideration, a high regard, or a high esteem. Those characteristics can assist a relationship to flourish positively and to avoid some negative impacts in it. Communication also plays a crucial role in a relationship. It helps both partners to deal with problems in the relationship, especially when they have intelligent, respectful, or reasonable conversation. If you do not communicate with your partner, problems may occur in the relationship. Lack of communication is why long distance relationship doesn’t work most of the time. A long distance relationship is hard and complicated, but we can survive through it. It just requires a lot of trust, sacrifices, devotion, and communication among the two partners in the relationship.When they communicate, they share ideas, which can help them to know their partner's weaknesses or strengths and what they like or what they do not like. Knowing what your partner likes and doesn’t like can help you to know how to deal with him or her. You will know what may hurt or what can make him or her happy.Communicating or expressing your feeling to your partner should be based on the reflection of the heart. It's a way to impress or to entertain your beloved time. You should do your best to convey the feeling of the heart and the soul to him or her. You should tell your partner how deep and trustworthy that you can be. Make him or her feel how caring that you can be. Use persuasive or romantic expressions to bring smile to his or her face.”
“That is a very complicated subject,” Mary said with an unusual voice. “That's too much Roldens. At some points, I would not forgive that girl. If I were in your place Jean, I would pretend that I like her so that I could use her as Johnny did to her and treated her as a trash in order to make her pay for what she did. She did lie too much to you and made you wait on her for so long while she was dating this man, Johnny, but it would be better for us to explain the situation to people who are older than us. Let call my mother, Roldens’s mother, Kennel, and Jacques Pierre. Let explain them the situation. ”
I said to jean, “I think that will be great. What do you think Jean?”
Jean said, “I think that too.”
We called Jacques, my mother, Kennel, and Mary’s mother. Jean explained the situation to them.
Jacques responded, “If you really love her, you have to forgive her because love is tolerance, patience, and forgiveness. Without one of them, there is no love. You never know. She may change. She may fall in love for you. She may be the girl whom God sends to you. Relationship is about taking risk. Take the risk. If it doesn't work, let it serves you as a lesson for future relationship and move on. But you never know. It may work. God may put this guy in her life to teach her a lesson so that when she is with you, she will know how to treat you. She will know who is the right guy for her. I am a Christian, and I know what I am talking about.”
Mary’s mother responded, “ Most of the times, when girls have been hurt in past relationships, they often realize who really likes them and take the one who really loves them in consideration because they will try to be cautious or try not to give themselves to someone who is going to hurt them again. They learn from their past experiences and know who is the best guy for them.”
“That is true,” my mother responded. “Mary‘s mother said what I was about to say. Go get your girl man. Kiss her. Don’t think that if you let her go, you’re going to find someone who is better. You never know. She may be the one. “
Kennel said, " You have been looking for a girl for so long. You used to complain in my head to much. Now, you better get this girl so that you can stop talking in my head."
Jean said, “Okay.”
Jean walked quickly in the garden and went to talk to Kerlandy.
After a couple of seconds, Jacques said as I was kissing Mary, “Look at Jean and the girl. They’re kissing.”
We said as we applauded them with joy, “That is great.”
Mary’s mother said, “It looks like now that we don’t have to put Jean in our prayers anymore. Now, we have to pray for each other.”
Jacques Pierre, Kennel, and my mom said with desperate smiles on their face, “That is true.”
Jean came with Kerlandy after a couple of minutes and said, “Hey guys, this is my girlfriend.”
Kerlandy smiled as she put her head down.
Jean told her with a smile on his face, “You can hug them.”
She obediently hugged us as Jean told her to do.
We had a great conversation with her. We got to know her as she got to know us too, and we became friends with her.
After a couple of seconds, a beautiful girl was coming to us with a very old man with a cane in his hand and said as she approached us with the old man, "Hey Jean. How are you doing? Kerlandy, you never come back. I thought you would come back to where you left me and my daddy."
Jean responded to her, " She was busy with me. Now, she is my girlfriend."
The girl said, " I am happy for you and Kerlandy right now. God understands your pain. You have been chasing kerlandy for so long."
Kerlandy smiled and said nothing.
Jean said to us, " Her name is Guerline, and the old man who is with her is her pastor named Morales. She considers him as her dad."
We said, " Okay."
I said to Jean, " Is she the one whom you used to talk to me about."
" Yeap," he responded.
Jean introduced both of them to us, and they got to know each of us but not Kerlandy because there were the ones who came to the field trip with her. They already knew her.
As I shook hands with the old man, I saw that he dressed like a businessman or as a pastor. He wore a black costume. Under the costume was a gray vest, and under the vest was a white shirt with a black tie in the front. He wore a black pant in toile and a gray and black pair of shoes. His hair cut just looked slightly longer on top than the sides. It appeared to be cut with a Scissor over comb technique. Different from clippers, as it added more texture and a more natural, lived in look. He had white hair.
Jacques said to Jean as a way of joking with him, " When is the marriage Jean?"
" I am not ready to get married right now Jacques," responded Jean.
Jacques said, " Marriage is a commitment. It is a proof that you have given yourself to someone that you really love in order to show that person that you really want to give your heart to him or her for the rest of your life, and you are ready to sacrifice for that person. When you are married to someone, you show that person that you will always be there to suffer with him or her in any difficult situations that may take place, such as sickness, economic situation, and others. If you think that you are ready for that, that means that you are most likely to be ready to get married. "
"Okay," Jean responded to Jacques Pierre. " If I had a son after I get married, I would call him by your name Jacques so that I could always remember you. You have too much good advises."
Jacques said, " That would be great."
" When I had a son," I responded. " I would call him Rodnelo."
Kennel said to Jean, " Hahahahah. Now, you better pray for your father so that I can find my young girl who is in your girl age."
Everyone was laughing Haaaahahahahahahah......
Jean said, " Morales is a pastor. Ask him to pray for you."
Kennel said to Morales as he pointed his finger at Kerlandy and said, " I want you to pray for me pastor so that I can find a young girl who is in the age of this girl."
Morales, the wrinkled and deprived elderly man, responded to Kennel with authority, " You can go to my church, and I will pray for you. If it is in God's will, you will find a good one. If it is not in God's will, you will find one who is going to make the rest of your life miserable. I want to tell you that right now by the way in front of everybody. Be careful. Don't go to my church to mess up with my young girls. I would kick you out in my church without hesitation. I really care about my young girls. You better try to find a girl who is in your age."
Everyone was laughing, " Hahahahahahaha......"
I looked at Mary deeply in her eyes, I kissed her with joy and passion, and I said to her with a little voice but with passion and tenderness as she hugged me tightly, "In your arms, I want to be forever so that you can protect me or secure me. In your mouth, my tongue wants to stay forever so that I can perceive the taste of your sweet lips. In your eyes, my eyes want to visualize or look unceasingly because it is in your eyes that I can see our happiness, our future, or the strength of our love. In the place of your heart, my heart is because it belongs to you and because my heart is your heart. If I break your heart, it is like I break mine. Your breath is the air that I am obligated to breathe forever so that I can stay alive. It is my everything. If you stopped breathing one day, I would die because I would not be able to breath, and even if we died, our souls and our heart would not diverge. They will stay connected and direct or have the control of each other on the next life. I am doing my best not to hurt you because if I hurt you, it is like I hurt myself because you represent a part of me, and I promise you that that will never happen. If you cried, I would cry. I want to feel only your touch because I feel that I am in paradise every time that you hug me or touch me. I want you to be happy for the rest of your life because when you are happy or smile, you make me smile, and that represents the primary key of my happiness. I want to sacrifice for you, kiss you, hug you, or make love to you every second so that I can strengthen our love, satisfy your needs, or make you happy forever. Even in your deepest despair, trials, wrongness, pain, anguish, tribulations, fear, confession, frustration, turbulence, sorrow, doubt, or problem, I will always care about you and be there for you."
She looked at me deeply in my eyes with passion, and she hugged me stronger or tighter than ever before. She took a deep breath. Her eyes were watering with happiness. She closed them after a couple of seconds. She kissed me passionately and tenderly and said to me with a humble voice, " I love you more than ever before baby."
I responded to her with a sweet tone of voice as I was crying with joy, passion, tenderness, and emotion, " No one on this earth could ever love you like I love you, and this love is eternal. It is growing, developing, or flourishing positively as time pass by." And I used my tongue to dry her watering eyes. She did the same thing for me too.
We looked at each other deeply in the eyes, and we hugged, kissed, touched, and cried with joy, emotion, passion, and tenderness as a way of showing love toward each other.
Jean smiled suspiciously as I was kissing and hugging Mary, and he looked at Mary and me attentively as he knew a little secret that I didn't know.
After a couple of hours, Jean told me with a smile on his face that Mary, my first... , used to tell him everything, but he could not tell me the truth because Mary did not want him to tell me that.
One year later after college, Jean and Kerlandy got married. Now, they have two kids. Their son is named Jacques Pierre Jean Baptist.
Years later, Mary and I got married. Now, we have one son named Rodnelo Paulynice.
My mother finds her love. She is currently in a domestic relationship with a man named Pierrot Pierre.
Jacques Pierre, the old man, died of a heart attack after finding his love or after been dating an old lady for two years.
Mary's mother finds her love. She is now dating an old man, and they plan to marry next month.
Jenny, the little girl, is living with Mary and me.
Morales St Hilaire, the old pastor, died.
Guerline Ablard is currently in medical school.
Kennel, Jean's father, killed himself after he found out that a young twenty-years-old girl whom he was married with cheated on him with a young man and stole or sold all his properties or his money to take care of this young man.
Date of Publication: 12/15/11
About The Author
Roldens Paulynice, the author of this story, was born in December 24, 1990 in Gonaives, Haiti. He has published many short stories and essays, especially about relationship or love, literature review, education, and politics. Think Before You Act and What Causes Many College Students to Fail or Drop out are two of his works that he likes the most. Fortunately, in Febrary 2009, he had the chance to come to the United States, attended Glade Central High School, and graduated in May 2010 with a 3.08 GPA. In May 8, 2012, he graduated from Palm Beach State College with an Associate in Arts Degree. Right now, he is attending Florida Atlantic University, pursuing his BS in accounting and business administration. In the near future, he wants to become a CPA. Being a writer is something that he has a certain zeal to become in his life, but right now, he is trying, hoping to become a famous one one day. He is the author of Teenage Marriages Are Likely to End Unhappily, Think Before You Act, What Causes Many College Students to Fail or Dropout, Many People Get Married for Foolish Reasons, An Essay about the Tell-Tale-Heart and The Black Cat, and many other works.
© 2011 Roldens Paulynice
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