You just sunk my Battleship

Source

This Battleship stands posted
Shooting its projectiles
Sinking each mental synopsis
Not synapses


terms

Collapsing

the Ceil of a shadowed will
Blind to the termites
chewing

On its wooded interior
posterior exposed to temptations
The burning sensation

of wounded Sea creatures
Ripping holes through inner gravity
Deteriorating blockades to be no more



Them gems and diamonds
all bowing down
to radiation
to vibration


At the stern of this retched ship

this oh so rustic nature
of mental glow
that aluminum alloyed mow


no metals no bricks

so carefree

like chanced opportunities grow
like Naked pogo stick partnered twins
Just Babies looking
yearning to be in the know
Just hoping to Win!

The Battle

These words I deployed are my Battleship
These words I deployed are my Battleship | Source

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Comments 28 comments

billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

Now that was a serious departure from your normal writing and I loved it. Someday I'll give poetry a try but until that day I'll leave it to the rest of you who do it so much better than I would ever be able to.

Well done my friend. Keep the faith and have a great evening in N.Y.


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 4 years ago from New York City Author

Hey Billybuc, I do my best to stand guard of these shining digital seas here. For I am a true sailor who knows no boundaries, and keeps Watch 24-7 even if my ship catches fire, even if there seems to be no hope in sight of victory.

For I am a true Naval Aviator too, and I will defend our beautiful countries soil till my last dieing day.

Words for all the drunken sailors, still out there floating, & drifting out to sea, Fair winds & following seas. Shipmates......

Thanks for the visit Billybuc, your definitely going to love that day, when its your turn to set these words free.


ScottHough 4 years ago

Nice one CloudEx. Thanks. Keep up the great work, as always!


xstatic profile image

xstatic 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

A departure for sure, and well done!


flashmakeit profile image

flashmakeit 4 years ago from usa

Very colorful and amazing use of words. I could almost visualize every phrase you wrote. Vote up!!


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 4 years ago from New York City Author

@ScottHough, thanks for the visit, its tough to create at times, so I just had take my best shot at it.


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 4 years ago from New York City Author

Thanks @xstatic, This one has set sail for the top spot I hope, lol. All engines go, & full steam ahead!


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 4 years ago from New York City Author

Hello @flashmakeit thanks for the vote, yes I tried my best to find cool imagery to compliment the poem, I was impressed myself after pushing that infamous publish button. These are by far the best wiki images I've found yet.


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Voted up and interesting. Creatively done. Never imagined a poem about a battleship. Great pics


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 4 years ago from New York City Author

Thanks for the vote @Gypsy Rose Lee, I'm happy you enjoyed it, it just came to me out the blue, hehe.


robie2 profile image

robie2 4 years ago from Central New Jersey

HI Cloudex-- say the word " battleship" and I am there like the military brat that I am:-) Glad I stopped by too to savor all the layers of meaning in the words and have a look at the powerful pix. Voting up up up.


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 4 years ago from New York City Author

Yes indeed @robie2, the words are deep like the deep blue sea, and an ocean of words is what I have to bear. Or something like that, I just tried to get fancy LOL.

Thanks for sharing with me here, and until we meet up here in comment heaven once again, see you soon.


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

You should write more poetry. Well done.


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 4 years ago from New York City Author

@Just Ask Susan, Thanks Susan I'll keep it in mind, I love poetry, I just wish the search engines did.


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

Wow, that was interesting! Powerful words. Well done!


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

I enjoyed reading this interesting piece. Wonderful choice of expressions.


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 4 years ago from New York City Author

@Victoria Lynn, Thanks for your kind words as well.


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 4 years ago from New York City Author

Thanks @Vinaya Ghimire for reading and sharing, I'm over joyed that the Battleship poem here, has landed its worded assault properly as us poets do, and you enjoyed it as so many others as well & it makes me know I did something right.


Rhonda Waits profile image

Rhonda Waits 4 years ago from The Emerald Coast

Great poetry and a well done deaparture for sure. Different but enjoyable!

Sweet Wishes Rhonda


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 4 years ago from New York City Author

Thank you @Rhonda Waits, for the kind words I'm happy you liked it.


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

the poetry is awesome I love your hub

Blessings

debbie


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 4 years ago from New York City Author

Thanks @Deborah for sharing with me and for the kind words.


molometer profile image

molometer 4 years ago

Hi Mike, just came across this on Digg. I dugg it big time.

Great and powerful poem from someone on the inside. Great photo's too.

Voted up and awesome, sharing.


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 4 years ago from New York City Author

@molometer, Thanks ole chap the funny thing is I never made it out to sea, I guess god never wanted me on a boat, I was a electronics tech who worked on Naval aircraft, but I been on two aircraft carriers though doing a few work up projects.

That would have been a tough experience going out to sea for me, because I'm in love with the great outdoors, which naval aviation, and aircraft squadrons are all about pretty much. I do miss the being in the Navy though, that's one thing for sure.


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada

Mike,

Your closing stanza is evocative of the fact that everyone is a team on those big beasts and being in the bowels of the ship and not having a clue but certainly hoping they win that battle.

Very nice job. I'm inferring from the previous posts that this is something of a departure for you...it doesn't show. You appear a natural.

Thomas


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 4 years ago from New York City Author

I really had no clue what to write about @ThoughtSandwiches, I just knew I had a memory of being in the Navy I figured I could get out of my mind, and to somewhat create a poem to fit the movie battleship coming out, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the cool comment and for sharing.

The whole boat part was always something I actually thought up and has been a dreamy part of my mind I guess, since I worked on shore and on military bases as a aviator.


raciniwa profile image

raciniwa 4 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

While reading the poem i had the movie battleship in mind, and you surprised me for this poem is all about it...a very great movie indeed...


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 4 years ago from New York City Author

Hi Raciniwa, hey thanks for checking out my Battleship poem, it didn't start out about the movie though, but I figured why not connect the two after I was done, since the movie is out, you know.

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