People may think I care too much about what others think of me or about me, but the truth is that I do not. I care more about the implications of what those thoughts might mean regarding my relationship with others. The people that I care most about are the ones that have the power to hurt me, whether intentionally or not. Yet, it is not because I need approval to do whatever it is I have made up my mind to do, to feel whatever it is I am feeling, or to think whatever it is I am thinking. It is not even about whether or not these people disagree with me. In fact, it is not really about me at all. I thought it a hard concept to explain, but then I heard a song that seems to explain. If I do not have the power to hurt or disappoint someone, I was not truly loved. And if a person cannot hurt my feelings, I did not truly love that person.
You do not want to know
What really makes me tick
You would rather be content
Knowing what it is you think you know
And I do not owe you
Or anyone else a reason
For feeling what it is I feel or for being
For that matter, a reason for anything that I do
However, should I choose to explain myself
There is a reason for that too
Though it may only be fleeting and not make sense to you
It is all a part of how I maintain myself
It can also be a sign of my trust
In a bond that has has been created
That lasts even when one or both of us is not accurately translated
Because that simply to me seems just
I might even risk pouring out my heart
Knowing that my truth may not be your truth
But it is up to you to do with it what you do
I was not looking for approval even from the start
No, that is not what love is all about
It does not really matter what you think
From myself I will not shrink
Nor will I for long have self doubt
Still, you do have the power to hurt
If only because for you I care
And I hope the bond is one we always will share
Because if you could never disappoint or hurt. . .
Then I have either stopped caring or I never cared at all
© 2014 Shannon
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