To Lose A Child

Behind the poem

I wrote this poem among others, after going through an ectopic pregnancy. It was a very difficult time in my life. When we discovered we were pregnant, I got so excited. I let my hopes get too high that everything was going to go smoothly. Then I went for an immediate ultrasound on account of previous issues. That's when the doctor told me it was ectopic and would have to be terminated. Keep in mind that as a christian I have always been strongly against abortion, but in a situation like this you really have no choice. It took a long time for me to come to the understanding that I only did what was absolutely necessary, but truthfully it still hurts to think about it three years later.

To Lose A Child

To find out you have another child on th way

The love and attachment are there from the very first day.

You assume once again everything is fine,

Then one day the doctor says it's the end of the line.

It's all wrong, nothing is right,

You've just been blinded but not by light.

Ha has to terminate it before it kills you.

You're totall against it, but what can you do?

You have other children who need you there.

They depend on you and need your care.

It gets easier as time goes by,

But the baby's always there in your mind's eye.

It's the hardest thing you'll ever go through,

But know that God is there to hold you.

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Comments 4 comments

your cybersister profile image

your cybersister 5 years ago from Just relocated from Florida to the mountains of North Carolina

I am so sorry for your loss. You obviously had no choice but to end your pregnancy, yet I know it must have been devastating to do so. Time passes and the pain fades, but it can't quite disappear. I think the only people who truly understand this type of loss are those who have been in your shoes.

Losing a child during pregnancy was the worst thing that ever happened to me and, unfortunately, it happened three times in three years. I eventually had three successful pregnancies and three healthy sons over the years, but thirty four years later I still ache when I think of the babies that were lost. I can never quite forget, even after all this time, but at least I no longer think about the miscarriages on a regular basis. Time has let the wound scab over anyway...

mdcgardner profile image

mdcgardner 5 years ago Author

Yes it is very diificult. The only thing I could imagine being worse is losing a child after it is born. It hits me the most around the time of what would have been the expected due date, and the holidays. So glad you were finally able to have successful pregnancies as there is no greater blessing than that of a child.

your cybersister profile image

your cybersister 5 years ago from Just relocated from Florida to the mountains of North Carolina

mdcgardner -

I would have to agree that it would have been harder for me to deal with the loss of a child I had actually gotten to know. I have an aunt who lost one twin daughter to SIDS shortly after my bad experiences and she thought differently - she was grateful for the time, however short, that she had with her daughter. I always felt that her loss was greater and harder to forget as the other daughter, although always a great joy, would also serve as a constant reminder. I guess we all find a way to cope with disappointment and loss in our own way.

mdcgardner profile image

mdcgardner 5 years ago Author

That is so true. I know several people who have the same thoughts as your aunt. After all God does only lend us His children to care for. My coping has always come in the form of writing.

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