Today - A Short Account

I think that's the fifth time the snooze alarm is ringing. I turn the thing off completely. It's too late for an early start, complete with exercise, but I could get up for a quick wash and some breakfast - after all, I am hungry.

I roll over in bed, pull the pillow over my head and find my dream again. I return to addressing the expectant masses for their own good. They are suitably impressed and we enjoy this life-changing moment.

Apparently the moment lasted an hour and twenty minutes - all those fascinating permutations to explore. If I don't eat now, I'll soon feel ill, so a wash will have to wait. Hey-ho for towelling dressing gowns and furry slippers. Oh, and the internet - I turn the PC on now as it is SO slow to get going.

I don't fancy toast, but porridge is too much like hard work. If I can find a cereal I like, that would be nice and simple, but I’m staring at what's on offer and nothing appeals to me. A yoghurt will have to do as a stop-gap - hey, I'm being healthy, yippee. Better note the use-by date on these, there are still an awful lot of them. Great, I need to have seven in the next two days.

I should really eat a bit more, but the PC should be up and running by now, so best to check emails and social networks. There are a fair few messages, but they can wait - I'll just explore silly applications for a bit. That should put me in a good mood for the rest of the morning, er, day.

Of course, it was really stupid not to have eaten more. It's gone lunchtime and I still haven't had a proper breakfast. I do know, however, that I have amazing superpowers, a really cool colour chart of how my friends link up and pretty high typing speed, AND I've completed numerous Sudoku puzzles and answered all sorts of survey questions about things I've never even heard of before. Full day's work that.

Away from the shiny screen, though, I can really feel that headache, and I'm getting nauseous too. If I eat now will it get any better, or worse? Couple of bits of toast and a cup of tea should be fine, and maybe a lie down after will do the job.

Shoot, just remembered that phone call I didn't make yesterday. I was going to research the background online first, but I can't do that with this head. Guess it'll have to wait again. Best to do it in the morning, when nice and fresh, anyway. Yes, I’ll do it tomorrow - that leaves plenty of time to look stuff up, once I'm feeling better. Neck's a real pain now, as well.

There must be something other than sickening sausage or stinking cheese for a sandwich, surely! But no: toast and butter it is. And then that lie down - it really is necessary before I can tackle anything properly.

Don't you just hate sleeping during the day? I wake up groggy and heavy and completely incapable of anything that requires a brain. Or fully functioning body, for that matter. Better have another drink to combat dehydration - that's probably the real problem: cup of tea and latest book coming up. Story's a good one - didn't put it down till two this morning. Of course, at this rate I'll be needing a new read come evening, but I'm not going shopping now, even if the bookshop is open late. Sometimes it's best to have a day indoors - sets you up for a fresh start next morning.

So - agenda for tomorrow: research (no point starting that this evening, always best to be properly alert); phone call when in full possession of information; cereal shopping - for something really inspirational; new book; proper job search.

Well, that's an achievement. I’ve mapped out a full program for tomorrow, so I can enjoy finishing up this book right now and maybe really treat myself by ordering in a take-out. And it looks as though there’s a decent film on at eleven. Sorted!

The above is mostly autobiographical - putting things off being a speciality of mine - but also includes a pinch of others' interests to spice things up and a small measure (alright, an itsy bitsy teeny weeny hint) of exaggeration for dramatic purposes.

In considering Today (which was written a little while ago), I realise that I have different types of procrastination to deal with:

The usual - I don't want to do this, so I'll find as many alternatives as possible to do instead.

The more extreme - I so don't want this, my pushing it away is actually going to reach the point of forgetting it altogether! (Self-hypnosis of a particularly vicious kind.)

The strange opposite - I really want to do this! Only I'm so excited and nervous, and wanting it so much that, to try to keep calm, I'm going to pretend it isn't actually happening at all, and - uh-oh - is that really the time and I'm not ready?!!!!

Usually a book or two will have appeared somewhere in the above scenarios, always a classic procrastinatory tool for me.

So, I'm wondering, what other types are out there - anyone care to add to the list?

(Images: public domain; Flickr credits: bed - Evil Erin, notebook - adulau)