Top 10 Reasons You Need an iPod

Top 10 Reasons You Need an iPod

  1. Your Uggs aren't pretentious enough.

  2. All the $29 mpeg players are sold out.

  3. Steve Jobs might have stopped by your house.

  4. Your car, phone, watch, alarm clock, GPS, coffee maker, and pacemaker don't already have music players in them.

  5. iTunes has exclusive rights to the Wiggles.

  6. Without it, you might have to talk to someone in public.

  7. Lady GaGa has released 42 remixed versions of Poker Face.

  8. George Bush's autobiography has been published in audio form.

  9. A 3.5" screen is much more engaging than the 60" 3D plasma TV in your living room.

  10. You want to be like MacGyver, who can convert a 5G into a microwave oven and a jacuzzi and have no parts left over.

iPod

The iPod family of products represents life-changing technology rivaling pacemakers or even those cool running shoes that keep track of how far you jog. Almost everyone in the world has an iPod or two or five. They sprout like mutated digital mushrooms at gyms, in offices, and on city buses.

No one talks to each other any more. Your iPod may be broken, but you'll stick the ear buds deep into your cranium to prevent inadvertent conversation with other humans. Someone might say 'hi' to you, which would require you to think.

An average iPod stores more information than the first Apollo Moon mission. Gigabytes of data molded into songs and videos nestle safely into the electronics. We have no clue how it all works, but we trust the things to burst into song at a moments notice. We could be in the shower or on the way to the moon. Our songs must be immediately available even if we are bathed in sweat on the stair-master machine.

People stand in line to purchase the latest model of iPods. Fashionable malls in fashionable parts of town contain "Apple Stores", where anxious consumers clutching fistfuls of their parent's cash queue up for hours. Some enterprising apple aficionados plan to camp out in the parking lot. They want to be the earliest adopters of wonderful new iPod technolgy.

Some iPods have tiny screens upon which tiny videos can be observed. The devices also have accelerometers ingeniously connected to such features as 'shuffle' and 'shuffle again.' iPod users simply shake their devices to randomize the order in which their gigabytes of songs will be played.

iPods connect to a service called iTunes. The service and the device each begin with a lower case 'i'. We don't know why. iTunes.com is a hugely popular web site from which songs, podcasts, and videos can be purchased and downloaded. Every band wants to be on iTunes, except those bands that don't want anyone to know about them. A band preferring anonymity typically eschews iTunes access. The iTunes client software is free and runs on both Windows and Apple computers. An Apple iPod plugged into a Windows computer may tend to cause disruptions in the force, but, whoop, there it is.


More by this Author

  • Spammy Elements
    6

    Unless you live in an old-growth forest without WiFi, you've bumped up against limitations. Life holds us back. We all want to be all we can be, but all too often we find ourselves face-to-face with nameless faceless...

  • My Laundry Views Have Exploded
    8

    It's true: people read my laundry articles. There's hope for this Little Blue Marble we call Earth.

  • Data Hiding in Java
    12

    Data Hiding is an aspect of Object Oriented Programming (OOP) that allows developers to protect private data and hide implementation details. In this tutorial we examine basic data hiding techniques in Java.


Comments 4 comments

breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 5 years ago

Thank you...I really needed a laugh today..


whcobb profile image

whcobb 5 years ago from Fort Campbell, KY

Funny... Made me laugh pretty hysterically.


Alexander Mark profile image

Alexander Mark 5 years ago from beautiful, rainy, green Portland, Oregon

You also forgot, they look cool and they make you hip with those white earphone wires, they take 20 years off as soon as you put them on!


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Alexander Mark: Oh baby, I forgot about the leisure suit white cables. Those are so fetch!

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working