Top 20 Funniest Face Book Status Updates

Some of the best status updates you'll read!

If you're like me sometimes it takes awhile to think of a good update to leave your friends laughing on face book. I've taken a collection of some of the funniest updates ever, Enjoy!

  • (your name) saw a commercial for the Snuggie. I thought it was stupid idea, but I couldn’t change the channel because I was under a blanket and I didn’t want my arms to get cold…
  •  thinks that if your relationship status says, "It's complicated" that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to "Single"
  • has  an oven with a 'stop time' button. It's probably meant to be 'stop timer' but I don't touch it, just in case.
  • Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
  • Top Tip Of The Week: When going through airport customs and you are asked "do you have any firearms with you?" do not reply "what do you need?"
  •  Don't you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn't want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop.
  •  Sometimes I just want to run up to a stranger on the street and say "YOU'RE IT!!" and then run away
  • Finds it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
  •  is wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?
  • dreams of a better world...where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
  • ”The greatest thing about Face book, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – George Washington
  • was playing "FARMVILLE" when immigration showed up and took all my workers !
  • Is  wondering  "If you choke a Smurf, what color does he turn?"
  • grammar is important. For instance, commas save lives: Let's eat grandpa. Lets eat, grandpa
  • hated when old aunts came up to me after weddings and said "u r next" They stopped that when I did the same to them after funerals
  • first we had mad cow disease, then we had bird flu, now we have swine flu, O.M.F.G it's FARMAGGEDON
  • Automatic doors make me feel like a Jedi
  • has discovered the secret to life, but I won't tell you, because it's a secret
  • my friends status said " suicidal and standing on a cliff " So I Poked Him.
  • 's advise: Follow your dreams, except for that one where you're naked at work

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Comments- Add any funny updates you've heard 14 comments

moondive profile image

moondive 6 years ago from Modena,Italy

I like this post. Thanks for sharing

Michael Shane profile image

Michael Shane 6 years ago from Gadsden, Alabama

Funny stuff!!!

pams060 6 years ago

That is the funniest stuff I have read in a long time..thanks for a great laugh

TRISH 6 years ago

Hilarious, thanks for sharing this

saturdaymusings profile image

saturdaymusings 6 years ago

yeah. that was good :D

especially the poop one. that's my kind of humor.

Grace . 6 years ago

:L that's some good shit .

Ladybird33 profile image

Ladybird33 6 years ago from Georgia USA

GREAT idea and love this hub! Keep it up, you have a talent!

ltfawkes profile image

ltfawkes 6 years ago from NE Ohio

Very funny, Songwriter. Nice.


Elixir 6 years ago

Hilarious! Here are a bunch of other funny status updates

vanessa 6 years ago

OMG these status are hilarious i loved this one the most ha haha

•my friends status said " suicidal and standing on a cliff " So I Poked Him and th eone about days of the weeks WTF ,

TVM(Thanks very much) cheers!

Alexander Pease profile image

Alexander Pease 5 years ago from Maine

Automatic doors do make me feel like a Jedi. Amazing and funny hub. Thumbs up, oh wait, voted up!

Benoitsmidget profile image

Benoitsmidget 5 years ago from Boston

I love looking through the status shuffle on FB to see more funny status'. Great job! Good laugh.

dehal 5 years ago

????? ???? ???? ?? ???? A ??? ?? ??? BULLET ??? ?? ????..... ;)

Reewag upreti 3 years ago

I like it

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