Uncle Newt , "I was once a registered poacher".......

True Story ........Well Mostly true !

Cousin Newt opened the front door of the house as we arrived , dawn comes early during the annual deer hunting season .......so it would be all early to bed and rising before the dawn , for twenty years we had all shown up in the kingdom for deer season ........ First though , I have to tell you about cousin Newt ! In our family there was a very wide range in ages , my parents had had ten children , and the extended family was as diverse and even as oddly estranged as an entire village would be . My cousin Maggie on my Mothers side had married young and in chosing a husband .......well ........I think it's best to quote her !

"Well ' you know . Eddie........when you're young , you do some pretty stupid things , especially when you've been on a four day drinking binge !".........and she laughed !
" But Cousin Maggie , What's the heck's a drinking binge ?"............I remember asking her as a kid ................
" Well let's see , A drinking binge "..............and her eye's got all gleamy ........" That's when you finally wake up well after the party ends and you're already married to someone like Newt and you have two kids already ! " ..........and she began to laugh again !

Now , cousin Newt ..........he was much older than us boys , in fact he just died last year at ninety seven years old , And I must say ........I have never , before or after meeting him , met such an interesting man . Newt was one half native American , and one half French Canadian , and one hundred percent wild assed character ! At least when he was a younger man ! As an older man , well let's just say he could spin one hell of a story about all the things he used to do !

" Did I ever tell you boys about the game warden trying to catch me poaching deer ?!.......and he laughed before continuing ...............
"It was back in fifty nine , .......maybe fifty eight ...........Maggie , ! When was it that old Dick Dufous tried to catch me poaching deer ? "

"Oh god Newt , I don't know , it's your story tell it like you want to anyways..........
It was ninteen sixty ! and you know that ! ........"Why do you always try to drag me into it?"

" Well anyways , I was at deer camp and it was raining , ....by the way !...Is it supposed to rain tomorrow ? " ........................".so old Dick says to me later ......
"Newt .......How in the hell is it that every time I come up here and wait patiently in the woods outside your hunting camp , that you KNOW that I'm out here trying to catch you poaching deer ?" ......"I mean ...I got up at three am to dress , gear up and come here early enough that you won't see me hidden out there , and pooom ! You walk out on that rickety old porch and holler out at me ......." you might as well come on in for breakfast Dick , I know you're out there, No sense trying to catch me today ! "

"So old dick Dufous , came in and eat his eggs and bacon with me and the boys , every single time ! It wasn''t untill he retired ten years ago that I finally got up the nerve to tell him how I always caught him trying to observe me from a distance with his fancy new Binoculars"
And you boy's know what I tolt'' him ? HUH , I told the ole Bastard that all I ever did was go out there EVERY single mornin of deer camp and holler that same thing ........whether he was out there or not !...............Boy I sure do miss ole dufous though , this young new warden is pretty slick , I may have to come with something new for HIM !........

The end ....................


Comments 5 comments

Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

This was a cute story. Funny tale about your cousin. I know a few like him.


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 4 years ago from Vermont, USA

Ed, it's stories like this that keep me coming back for more. Thanks for the chuckle. If you have enough of these you could compile 'em into a book...maybe call it "Kingdom Capers".

Hope things are going well for you up in your corner of Paradise.

CP


xstatic profile image

xstatic 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

Ol' Newt was a character alright. Great story, real downhome (or uphome maybe) flavor!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Now THAT is a funny Hub!


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 4 years ago Author

Thanks guys , Newt sure was a character, I miss him !.....:-}

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