Under A Slow Drizzle


The shift commander’s blood pressure

just hit the ceiling,

his discomfort

was nothing more than a vague feeling,

with neither voice nor reason behind it,

he just wanted to sit,

his emotions would drain,

as he sketched the scene in his tired brain,

one more crime scene like that

would certainly drive him insane,

his eyes blurring,

as the neighbors were stirring

and ignoring the yellow sticky tape warning,

as they stood out in the bleak light

of a dreadful February morning,

and such horror it displayed,

the presence of a child’s body,

eviscerated and splayed

on wet pavement under a slow drizzle,

you could almost hear the broken hearts fizzle,

a terrible unforgettable crime scene,

that seems more obscene

with each passing moment,

the crime scene would remain,

even homicide detectives

had to live with that pain,

and the natural,

unspoken impulse to bring that

dead child in from the rain.

© 2011 Frank Atanacio

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Comments 32 comments

justateacher profile image

justateacher 5 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

Sad to think this happens far too often these days..and to think about the officials involved in trying to solve these horrible crimes and what they have to live through...

Once again, great writing my friend.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 5 years ago from Shelton Author

I am so glad you've actually touched on the message I was trying to convey-- what they have to live through ... Thanks Teacher :) Frank


Sky9106 profile image

Sky9106 5 years ago from A beautiful place on earth.

You are to young to be retired , but had I not known that I would have said , you captured it nicely, being an ex. So I join with the teach, am seeing the detective in you.

Maybe you were an officer, or it runs in the family for Barnum.

Blessings Frank Give Thanks.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 5 years ago from Shelton Author

My dear friend Sky.. I don't understand your comment LOL perhaps you are just trying to be kind and really not wanting to say how you feel about this dark little piece.. but nonetheless I respect you and your words :)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

A very heart breaking topic, but you brought forth the pain and the emotion of it beautifully.


ALUR profile image

ALUR 5 years ago from USA

LOve the photo. I write a lot about these things as it's prevalent. I think you've got a good start for a short story. I have a book out now on amazon.com called "Taboo Nation" that speaks of the several headlines that hit too close to home.

Check it out!


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal

Your poetry terribly shocked me. You are an accomplished poet to evoke such feelings.


writer20 profile image

writer20 5 years ago from Southern Nevada

Great poem. Sometimes I wonder why we moved here because a drunk mowed down a 10 year old on Halloween. An 78 year old lady mowed down three younger children on crossing. We never seemed to any happy news here.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 5 years ago from Shelton Author

im sorry writer :( better days are coming just read your own work and you'll see :)


Ardie profile image

Ardie 5 years ago from Neverland

Poor baby left in the rain, but how many times do you think this exact horrific scene has played out in real life? You truly caught the emotions with this one.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 5 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks so much for your comment Ardie :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 5 years ago from Shelton Author

sorry i missed your comments Toombs and alur thank you for stopping by too.. didn't see you under the other comments.. but I got you guys


femmeflashpoint 5 years ago

I broke away from full time work, and moved to per diem hours in mortuary services and surgical transplant recovery because of what it does to my emotional state after prlolongued exposure to it ... especially when working in big cities with high volume cases.

I'm thinking my psyche would like being a cop even less.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 5 years ago from Shelton Author

femme it can be life consuming.. thank you so much for the read


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

again thanks everyone on here this will asure that I haven't missed anyone again


Senoritaa profile image

Senoritaa 4 years ago

I am a little late here Frank, just want to say your crime poems rock the most!!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Fashionably late right? LOL thanks for stopping by Senoritaa


LaThing profile image

LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

Fashionably late here, too, very late...... When the party is over :)

BUT had to stop by! This is an awesome write! The emotions flowing in this poem is too vivid, and the scene is incridiable...... Great job, Frank!


Jennifer Stone profile image

Jennifer Stone 4 years ago from the Riverbank, England

Thanks to LaThing for sharing this, when I realised what it was about I didn't want to read on, but was compelled to do so! A very powerful write, full of emotion and vivid imagery. Voted up, all the best, Jen


dghbrh profile image

dghbrh 4 years ago from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!!

Deep, dark and somehow very strong work. I always do enjoy your work, Frank...keep it coming...votes upway and shared.


coffeegginmyrice profile image

coffeegginmyrice 4 years ago from Toronto, Ontario

Crime Stoppers, crime solvers...they have to go through horrible scenes, tragedies and very sad ones like this of a death of a child. They have to face consequences and take them all in, but these types of people are brave and courageous that is why they are in this job. They are socially important to the community, the city, the country.

I have wandered through the woods with my dog in hopes to see a deer, and then I reached two trees with yellow police tape tied onto them. My first impression was "What happened here?" and I have to get out from there quick. I just want to think that it could be teens or adults playing with the yellow tape.

This is a great poem write, Frank. Beautiful!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks so much for stopping by Lathing and Jennifer Stone glad you enjoyed this little piece :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

Thank you so much for reading under a slow drizzle dghbrh and coffegginmyrice bless you both


poetvix profile image

poetvix 3 years ago from Gone from Texas but still in the south. Surrounded by God's country.

I saw this in the feed when you commented. I missed it the first time around.

Damn, Frank. You brought tears to my eyes. Now I have to go clean up or I'll look like a raccoon. You paint very well with words. Yours is a minimalist approach that seems to always come out to maximum effect.


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 3 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Beautiful poetry, a very dark subject.


ytsenoh profile image

ytsenoh 3 years ago from Louisiana, Idaho, Kauai, Nebraska, South Dakota, Missouri

The visuals, the sensory effects, the feel of the soft drizzle, the dampness, the sadness, the shock...very good writing here. Very strong and touching. Thanks.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks for your comment ytsenoh :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you Phdast7 hope all is well in your neck of the woods :)


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 2 years ago from California

You just do grit so well--the drizzle here adds so much to the mood!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you Audrey :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 14 months ago from Shelton Author

Thanks VG it means a great deal coming from you


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 14 months ago from Shelton Author

Thank you Poetvix and MZZZZ Explosive.. and thank you too Becky its nice to see you :)

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