Unearth Anxiety

Every now and then

I come close to a win

but, sometimes I fall

I have nothing to lose

When I'm in danger

who can I call

My soul is against a wall

I'm staring at the floor of this world

There's no one, but family I can trust

When I stop breathing

Then its ashes to ashes, dust to dust

I don't want to see it too early

I'm short, life is short

Its easy to take the easy way out

No doubt

Suicide tried to propose many deals

as if, I will live better

No matter the weather

To take my own life would be clever

Will there be a promise for each tomorrow

for me to see and farewell

Everyday, I'm avoiding traps

that would put me in a casket or cell

Everyday, waking up to an atmosphere so foul

Give me good reasons, why I should smile

I may be here for a long time or a while

So I put all my victories into a large pile

to take with me on the day I'll be exiled

In heaven or hell, I may or may not in peace rest

There's agony I want to get off my chest

Silent situations may develop in the home

I know my demons will never leave me alone

Problems get thick and want to keep me on the run

Emotions spill, making me feel my life is done

I still have light from the sun

I refuse to cry heavy rain

Lies said to me are sometimes true and the truth is lame

On me, it seems as as if people always want to play games

I'm learning, I can see right through them

Some people steadying faking like they respect Alphonso

But, they really want to see me go

Some words are said in my face

Most of them are said behind my back

When I turn on my electricity

Watch how it makes the bodies of those words react

My past and my future always have conversations

I don't know what for

I've seen and did things I'm not even proud of

I won't mention the score

Whatever good happens to me

Will it be a dream

A fairytale that's distant

floating in a stream

Wonder why I act mean

Despair wants to steal my shine

Education and props, better believe I will get mine

I do not have time

To be involved with the weak street link of crime

I must reach the end of the road before I go to waste

Everywhere I go, its always hate

In a person's blood towards me I can taste

Its awful, trying to make me be so scared

For the threats of dishonoring me, I dare

I'll have a picture to laugh about once in a blue moon

Where's my rage, they'll find out very soon

I enjoy the darkness and silence

To me there's no such thing as friends

A grin is a cut in my throat and then its betrayal

That's how it ends

I can't stay still

I'm on the move, Satan keep trying

I knew there were achievements I had won

But others were denying

Driving me crazy, its no way I can lose my composure

I made it this far

Still marching like an undying soldier

I'm walking slowly towards my journey

But, there are roadblocks

I want to cross-rivers and there are too many rocks

I'm building bridges hoping all of them can hold

The prophecy will be foreshadowed

I uninstall systems and programs of animosity against me

My real name is digital

I have won battles verbally, mentally, spiritually, forget the physical

To sell my soul to the Devil

What is it really worth

I don't think there's enough prayers and protection

to save me from all this evil on this earth

Would if I can cast a spell to prevent me from living in this curse

And keep pacing without being hurt

I do not sleep

I use my covers to cover things that cannot be uncovered

If I do not eat or receive a decent meal to digest

I feed on pretenders, haters, backstabbers, and enemies

of both male and female species

that keep telling my mind and me

I'm nothing and will never be something trying to trick me

They better come on and get me

because deep down inside

I want to misbehave so dreadfully instead of giving praise

in one of the best ways

Almighty done blessed me those wicked days

Its more to come

I'm saved and some of my blessings are delayed

I'm running away from my religion

How do I make a decision

All I ever really want is glory

Everytime I turn around

I'm always trapped in a never-ending story

I'm thinking about death

Where will I be in the mystery of purgatory

I'm young, I suppose to act like it doesn't exist

Neither do I in many eyes, always looking at me strange

as if I have done some harm to someone

or someone is going to do some harm to me

I swear I would love to fight all my foes from past to present

All they want to do is dance

Watching every step I take and chance I enhance to succeed

I can win a war, if I make all of my nemesis live up to theirs, indeed

Feels like my oracle and fate has left me and bit me

In a universe so empty

I never search for people to feel sorry for me or their sympathy

I never feel sorry for myself

Just understand me

Just understand me

Just understand me...


©2006, Alphonso Taylor. All rights reserved. No republication of this material in any form or medium is permitted without expressed permission of the author.

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