"Unknown"

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I'm scared.
Afraid.
I fear the unknown,
what will happen to me,
what will happen to us.
I'm scared
I'll fail.
I'm scared
I'll succeed.
I pretend I dont care what people think,
but I guess its true that I do.
I care how I look,
how I sound,
how I dress.
I care how I am percieved.
and most of all how I see myself.
I'm scared that this will be all there is.
I'm scared that I wont amount to anything.
and I'm scared that I will.
I've been stuck in this routine life for so long,
how do I get out?
And I'm scared that I don't really want to.
I'm scared to leave everyone behind.
I'm scared to meet anyone new.
I'm scared I won't be as well off as I am here.
And I'm scared we won't last.
This risk bigger than I dare to take,
yet, you took it for me.
And what have I given you?
I'm scared that we're too young.
I'm scared that we aren't.
I'm scared that you'll leave.
I'm scared I'll drive you away.
I fear I'm the reason they all have.
Even so, I fear you will stay.
I'm scared that this isn't what I want.
I'm scared I won't want it anymore.
and I'm scared that I'll never find it again.
I'm scared that, what if I would?
I'm scared.
Afraid.
I fear the unknown.
And the future is always unknown.

© Copyright NMJ 2011


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Comments 29 comments

Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

Fear is part of being human,so intensely and creatively expressed here Nikki.;)


Teylina profile image

Teylina 5 years ago

Amen, sister. Very, very well done. As Mentalist said, fear is part of being human; fear of the unknown is statistically known to be worse and knowing of something bad in the future--it's the not knowing that is humanly frightening, and you said it well.


h.a.chauhdary profile image

h.a.chauhdary 5 years ago from Australia

"the biggest hurdle in this world is fear, conquer that and you conquer yourself, conquer yourself and you conquer the world."


downpourofwords profile image

downpourofwords 5 years ago from Dallas, Texas, USA

Well explained and thought provoking hub. I believe there wasn't a conscious effort by you to rhyme or make it like those typical poems. You have a different style though. I couldn't keep myself from reading from start to end. Keep writing.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana Author

thanks everyone. yes fear is a part of being human and only the best humans face their fears and overcome them.

teylina and downpour, nice to see new faces. glad you liked this, I hope you can check out some of my other poems. Though downpour I do rhyme in most of them i think you would like some of my other ones as well.

H.A that quote sounds familiar...whats it from??


aware profile image

aware 5 years ago from West Palm Beach Florida.

its ok to fear. normal even . In my line of work fear keeps you alive .

You already amount to something so that fear could be crossed off the list .

Cheers Ray


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana Author

what is your line of work may I ask? awww and thanks Ray. That may be so, but I dont feel like it, because I'm not really doing anything with my life at the moment. working a dead end office job 8 to 5 mon thru fri. and Im so tired all the time. tired of routine, and havent done any thing with my writing or photography like i want. but its my own fault.


MrDSpade2 5 years ago

Fear of life's occerence's captured brilliantly on this page, mind provoking read, Nikki, well done.


h.a.chauhdary profile image

h.a.chauhdary 5 years ago from Australia

lol, i just made that up! i even googled it now to see if i was subconsciously quoting someone else. haha!


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana Author

Thank u mr d. just thoughts that came to me, overthinking and all that.

hmm H.A well it sounded like something i had heard before. i thought you were quoting someone else, but means even more coming from yourself lol thanks


MrDSpade2 5 years ago

Your welcome Nikki, i wanted you to check out this hub i written a while ago, i probably asked you before, but forgot to put up the link, so check it out if you feel like it.

http://hubpages.com/hub/Poetry+To+Thrive+On+Revive...


A.A. Zavala profile image

A.A. Zavala 5 years ago from Texas

Won't know till you try and do, then you'll know for sure. Awewsome...


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana Author

yea. thats usually how it works, I wish I could just know before hand lol.


Teylina profile image

Teylina 5 years ago

Nikki, I'm like you--would like to know what aware does for a living. In your comment back to aware and Ray: I sense a sense of self (good grief--hope you get my drift!). Wasn't stuck in a 8-5 job m-f at the time (rarely have been--I'd be better off if I had), when I finished a fairly good (so I've been told) semi-biographical novel, but was too enervated by goodness-knows-what to do anything about it; hence, like you "my own fault." A psychologist I was seeing at the time said, not necessarily. "You just haven't faced the decision yet," he said. "What decision?" "The decision of whether you are afraid of failure or success," was his reply. Still can't answer the question. Too much like you, I'd like to know before I try something! You write too well. Don't quit! (and I don't mean your day job!)


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana Author

lol thanks teylina that is the best comment ever. Hmm I think I am more afraid of failure...rejection. afraid to spend money on getting it done and no one will be interested. or idk the only thing I would fear about succeeding is letting it all get to my head, get overwhelmed. and not be able to keep up with peoples expectations. and no I definitely wont quit writing, or my day job...not anytime soon anyway, i dont wanna work here forever! lol


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California

We are all human and are afraid at some points in our lives. I have been down this path so many times but realizing who's approval am I seeking does it really matter and my answer comes out to be yes. We all want to succeed at something and being afraid of all that you mentioned I find normal. Thanks for sharing Sunshine!!!!!

bella


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana Author

yes normal, but bothersome, thanks bella! I'm just ready to overcome these fears.


Doug Turner Jr. 5 years ago

Crush your fears with a spiked hammer. Ah, if only it were that easy. We all have them, Nikki, and you express those feelings well here.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana Author

yes a spiked hammer would wipe those fears out if only thats how it worked. lol thanks doug.


Astra Nomik profile image

Astra Nomik 5 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

Nikki, you have to feel the fear and jump anyway. Do it, don't be afraid of the good things that might happen...

You need to have someone there encouraging you, inviting you, supporting you, helping in every way possible. Fearing the unknown is pretty normal. But fortune will favor the woman who is prepared too...

You are an amazing person if only you look harder at yourself, and do not be self-critical... ^_^

Have a sweet weekend, Nikki. x


Teylina profile image

Teylina 5 years ago

Astra, such good advice for all of us, even if we've come that far, it's good to be reminded. Thanks for your comment on this very real hub.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana Author

You are very wise astra. But I guess Im not quite prepared. nor do I have someone behind me really to do those things. I mean I have someone but he doesnt really do those things lol. and I'm not really critical of my self. I mean I like my stuff and think my poems and all are good but Idk how well they would do in the real world. away from hubpages lol. Its just a step that needs to be taken..I just dont know when I will take it. Thanks so much for your kind awesome words and my weekend was bittersweet to say the least, it was good and bad, and never long enough.


Teylina profile image

Teylina 5 years ago

Nikkij, think few of us are ever really "prepared" !! And was there ever a weekend that WAS long enough for most of us?


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana Author

no and no lol


blaise25 profile image

blaise25 5 years ago from close to you...

I could so relate..Often that we fear the unknown. But it's what makes life more interesting. Your poetry flows naturally and what makes it lovelier is the unknown..

As to life, the happiest part is solving the puzzle and the unknown with someone. :)

I love this so much. Thank you for sharing. All the best to you. XX


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana Author

yes it does make life more interesting. I may fear the unknown, but I think I would fear the known more. Like say I knew the exact moment I would die...who knows How I would take that, perhaps trying to find ways to cheat death or something to control my own fate, but we cant control fate, if its suppossed to happen then it will.

That is the happiest part, but some people have to do it alone.


drjasonhill01 profile image

drjasonhill01 4 years ago from Pisgah, Al

This is what i have been looking for i think. Amazing piece. Very conflicting, and enticing. I hope one day you can conquer your fears.


drjasonhill01 profile image

drjasonhill01 4 years ago from Pisgah, Al

and remember even if you fall. I'll be there to catch you, and so will your family and friends. We all love you so dearly.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 4 years ago from Louisiana Author

jason this was written awhile back but yea i guess this is basically the gist of it all. I'm glad you read this. and thank you for always being there for me and loving me though I dont deserve it.

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