A Phantasmagorical and Very Entertaining Trip to Italy. Part 6 of 42.

Who is getting married?

Beautiful without a soul


- Dolores: Who is getting married?


- Narcissus #2: You and I.


- Dolores: Are you out of your mind? This is the most bizarre…


- Narcissus #2: I am talking about sacred marriage, about a symbolic union, don’t you know anything about alchemy …? Come, I will read you some passages from the book.


- Dolores: No reading will make THIS MARRIAGE less eccentric if that is even the right word. I would say the whole thing is creepy. A Narcissus who marries? You were famous for the way you died not for … and what if I don’t want to get married? I don’t care about a marriage, sacred or not. Especially sacred.


- Narcissus #2: That is blasphemy. First of all, nobody asks you what you want. If you don’t like the script of your life, take a pen and write your own. But while you are caught in this reality, the script that HAS ALREADY BEEN WRITTEN will be executed whether you like it or not.


- Dolores: I don’t like the word EXECUTION. Another creepy…


- Narcissus #2: When you will be a writer you will pick your own words, but not before you dissolve into another reality… This dream might end any minute…


- Dolores: I will be dissolving? I cannot quite decide whether the whole thing is a tragedy, a melodrama, a mystery…


- Narcissus #2: How about a farce? You will be transcending into the unity when your body dissolves into water…


- Dolores: Do you understand yourself?


- Narcissus #2: I don’t have to, as long as I can read. “The understanding or experience of the unity of opposites or paradoxes… the experience of the unity that lies behind our world of duality”.


- Dolores: Grotesque-o-ality.


- Narcissus#2: Perhaps.


“When you make the two into one, and when you make the inner like the outer and the outer like the inner, and the upper like the lower,…”


Here comes your favourite part


“and when you make male and female into a single one, so that the male will not be male nor the female be female, […]


then you will enter the Kingdom.”


- Dolores: Here we go again. Never knowing who I will be the next time. I find it paradoxical that you chose “Beautiful without a soul” as our wedding song. It is as insulting as it is degrading.


Vivere insieme a te è stato inutile,

tutto senza allegria, senza una lacrima,

niente da aggiungere ne da dividere,

nella tua trappola ci son caduto anch'io,

avanti il prossimo, gli lascio il posto mio.


Living with you has been meaningless

All without joy not even a tear

Nothing to add and nothing to share

Your web of deceit had captured me

I leave my place now for the one next in line


- Narcissus #2: Oh, don’t take it so personally. The unity of…


From one Narcissus to the next


He is interrupted by The Huge Butterfly (the size of a grown man). He comes in with AK-47 and starts firing without much aiming. There is a lot of noise, but no damage, however…


Dolores, too tired of …, frankly, too tired or everything and especially, tired of waiting and being apprehensive of the transformation to come, watches flying bricks with apathy. Flying bricks and darting bullets create a magnificent view, a cannonade of sorts.


“Wedding bells,” she thought. “The salute.”


The Butterfly seeing how POINT-less his escapade was turns himself into a man.


He is Narcissus #3. He joins Narcissus #2 and Dolores in the tub.


Dolores looks quizzically at Narcissus #2.


- Dolores: Now what? Who is exactly the broom?


- Narcissus #2: The broom? Do you mean the groom?


- Dolores (mumbles): Does it make a difference?


- Narcissus #2: Oh, yes, it does, because you are marrying both of us.


- Dolores: Am I? This is some kind of avaunt-garde or decadence…or neo-…ism of some sort…


- Narcissus #2: Let me grab the dictionary. There is trinity, there is a threesome, …threefold…triad…triangulation…


- Dolores: Oh, don’t bother. I haven't failed to notice that words make little difference here. Or anywhere.


Cavalry Song with English Subtitles

Cavalry Song/Marsh Budyennogo


- Narcissus #3: Listen! Do you hear cavalry? I think I can hear drums as well…


- Narcissus #2: I think they are shooting…”Narcissus and Echo”…


- Narcissus #3: Shooting?!!! As in EXECUTING? I don’t hear any shots…


- Narcissus #2: You don’t understand. They shoot for entertainment.


- Narcissus #3: Don’t I know it. Executions were always a kind of entertainment. Always got enormous crowds. Good for advertising. Listen, listen, they are even singing.


- Narcissus #2: Of course, they are singing, I told you, it is an entertainment. Let’s get back to our ceremony before someone else barges in and shoots us.


The bathtub turns into a whirlpool.


We are talking about eternity



"We are travelers on a cosmic journey, stardust, swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity."
Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)


- Dolores: Is that what is written in your BOOK?


- Narcissus #2: Essentially, yes. In parenthesis.


- Dolores: How nicely it all fits together. The alchemy, the sacred marriage, the whirlpool, the infinity of eternity and especially the parenthesis.


- Narcissus #3: Don’t forget the flying bricks and the yellow bath chair…


- Dolores: How could I? Ohhhh… What is happening?


- Narcissus #2: I think you are dissolving…


- Dolores: Where to?


I am tired of waiting

...


The process takes time. While the transformation takes place there is a song. She hears only parts of it:


… that empty chair

In a white silence


The sun kissed your face and woke…


Dolores thinking, “Good, I will wake up. The question is where?”


The song continues…


“Who would steal your heart?

Who would spoil you?

Where would you spend the night?

Who would kiss you?

Who would prepare your coffee today?

[…]

Who would love you?

[...]

Got tired of waiting...”


Dolores, losing conscience, “it does not make much sense any more. As if before anything did. Who will make me coffee? Who will I make coffee for? I have to release those prisoners sitting in the Roman café…”


Complete darkness.



A voice whispers: Your next reader, Dolor… Dolore...Dolores! Dolores!!!



Abre los ojos!

Abre los ojos!

Abre los ojos!!!


(Translation:


Open your eyes!

Open your eyes!

Open your eyes!!!)


3 a.m. Dolores awakens.


She has a splitting headache.


- DOLORES (thinking): Where am I?

- VOICE: The question you should be asking is “Who is here?”

- DOLORES (jumps up): Who is here?!

- VOICE: My name is Narcissus.


There is a man in a dimly lit room, playing with a yellow butterfly.


- Dolores: Oh, no, you don’t! I have already lived this reality and I did NOT like it.


- Narcissus #1: So, what are you going to do?


- Dolores: I will re-write the script. If my authoress wants to live in a crazy loop, that is her choice, but this cruelty towards the characters is inexcusable and unacceptable.


- Narcissus #1: Well, well, well, there is a mutiny, a revolution brewing in a surreal world. How interesting. Do you at least know what to you want, Dolores?


- Dolores: I’ll write something nice for myself. Do you have a pen?


Narcissus #1 shakes his head.


- Dolores: A typewriter?


Narcissus #1 shakes his head.


- Dolores: A computer?


Narcissus #1 shakes his head.


- Dolores: Ok, WHAT do you have?


- Narcissus #1: A bath and a yellow chair.


- Dolores: Here we go again. Not falling for that. There are no writing devices. Fine. I will dream something else for myself.


Dolores closes her eyes. “What do I want? If I only knew.”


© 2012 kallini2010

More by this Author


Comments 14 comments

writeronline 4 years ago

"I will dream something else for myself."

Bet I'm not the only one who can hardly wait to find out what...

Like I keep saying, I love the way you write.


A.A. Zavala profile image

A.A. Zavala 4 years ago from Texas

The butterfly and the shooting. It appears again. Why so fixated on them?


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 4 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Thank you, writeronline, for your ongoing support.

I am sorry, I can no longer promise anything - I tend to not deliver.

So, when? Who knows?

What? Who knows?


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 4 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Augustine, this story is essentially a script.

Remember when you suggested HBO series?

Since then the story must develop against a scenic backdrop...

I do not describe too many details because the story would become too long, but the idea is that transformation is constant.

At some point everything slowly turns yellow, butterfly, too... The giant bath becoming a whirlpool in a real ocean... [images should help a bit for your imagination to take it further]

It is not a fixation - in movies there are motifs, they are a must, butterfly is one of them. Besides, butterflies are a classic symbol of transformation.

Here we constantly have the perception of transformation and transformation of perception. Nothing, NOTHING is real.

Shooting is a motif, too. It is a play of words - shooting using a gun or shooting a film... Shooting by guns does not kill characters, it signifies sending them into another reality.

"they are shooting "Echo" - and then cavalry comes into the city... Cavalry (if you listened to the song) - the sound is "an ECHO from the past"... Rome is a city full of echoes from so many epochs...

I know it is hard to remember what I wrote in October, but parts of the movie was aliens fighting Russians and Chinese... I did not delve into those details to much...

I was "not fixated", but trying to preserve the main lines - butterflies, Narcissus(es), transformation, bath... Narcissus and Echo is a love line, but I pushed it further into "marriage", but then marriage turned out to be grotesque...

But this story (the dream of Dolores) was a detour and I have almost nothing for her beyond that except for opening scene... the rest should be traveling Italy at last.

When I have time.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

Svetlana, one can take this so very interesting 'drama' of yours and dissect it to the bone in an effort to find the essence and purpose of life, and especially your personal interpretation of it.

In all your hubs I've read so far, I could see knowledge and wisdom you have obtained but not yet registered. Remember you've said when you read your older hubs and comments, you suddenly realize what you've not realized at the time of the writing?

I find you extremely interesting - a woman on a mission - a journey through her own soul, searching for the truth that is hidden inside her. We are all born with the truth inside of us - the basic core is universal, but the flesh around it is unique.

I enjoyed reading this hub tremendously, and the pictures is awesome and so applicable - I was wondering if the pictures came before or after your words. You are an artists, far above average, thinking in colors and pictures and numbers. You know words as you know the names of colors, you try to use them to describe what you see/know/feel/believe, but words are totally inadequate to describe what YOU can see..... in colors and pictures and numbers....

Difficult to explain at 1:45am!

The wonder of you - you are moving forward, somehow in circles, like a spiral, but forward all the time. If you look back, you will clearly see that you are discovering a piece of wisdom, or knowledge almost weekly. But you are not yet able to describe it with words...

Will we ever be able to?

Keep on doing exactly what you are doing. Intuitively you are doing exactly what you should do.

And this was to Dolores with love from Venus from South Africa :)


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 4 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Dear Martie -

you are probably right, I have moved somewhere,

only I don't know where.

I no longer know who Dolores is - she is my shadow, I can experience through her my illusions and dreams, but it went in a direction I least expected. Are those my illusions? Or those are only echoes and shadows of the past?

All I know - I feel differently now. Of course, depression is a considerable part of my palette from which i take my colours.

As far as images go - a few pictures were meant for the dream long before, but most of them I found as I was making the hub.

I loved "The dissolution of Dolores" and especially the butterfly - it is not a fixation as Augustine suggested - it is a motif, a glue, something that bind the fabric together - constant transformation - transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly is very noticeable, beautiful and profound, hard not to notice, but it is meant to remind the reader/viewer about more subtle changes that happen all the time, continuously...

I don't know if I was able to create the effect.

But most of all, I loved "The Kiss" picture - she is between two men - no comment...

yet there is not much difference...

yet another Narcissus...

Music is as well a part of the fabric of the story (for me) -

I understand that music is hardest part for the reader because it is the most personal part. When we watch movies - we do not choose sound and sound effects, but in hubs, it is hard enough to create a mood, to accept someone else's choice. Yet, I think without those clips, the text is not the same. The cavalry sounds, the angst of "Beautiful without a soul", the longing of "I am tired of waiting" and they all in different languages.

I was trying.

Thank you, Martie for your lovely comment, I am touched.

I think - at this particular moment - I am as lost as ever.

So, the question is - in what reality will I wake up tomorrow? Who will be the Next Narcissus?


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

My dear Svetlana, some people always manage to create images/paintings and even movies in my mind - I don't know if I've mentioned this before. The one you created is a desert with an oasis, mostly sand, but rocky soil surrounding the oasis. And you, a woman with long, blond tangled hair and clothes torn by the wind, searching for something. Sometimes you walk to to the oasis to drink water from the well and/or to question some people crossing the desert on camels. Just behind the dunes is a large, modern city...

No, you are not really lost; you are simply searching for something. When you find it, you will return to the city.

This phase in your life will eventually be a memory, and you will know it was an important phase you must have experienced in order to be where and who you are.

So just be patient. Take every hour as it comes and do what you hands/feet/mind feel like doing. Don't stress, don't panic... Just take one step at a time... forward.

C U in the air... :))


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 4 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

What an image!!!

But I understand - I do visualize a lot, create stories for my thoughts

Precisely - there is a city that has everything,

but I isolated myself for whatever reason

you are right about - me going and actually moving in a certain direction

I am not the same, not the same I was a year ago with all my angst and burdens that did not want to go anywhere...

I have not arrived to my destination.

Maybe it is the Enigma of Dolores

every time she falls "asleep" and wakes up in another reality, yet somehow it is not the reality she is happy with.

The images that I select for my hubs - with some I am very happy - even this "run-away bride" - she seems to be happy and enjoying her "yellow road" as if that was the idea from the start - to put on a wedding dress, to check how it feels, find out that it is not the time or the man or the men... and run away from both men and matrimony

and continue the journey.

In the meantime, "I got tired of waiting" for my depression to lift off - any day now...

The air... I am a disabled eagle at the moment... I only look at the sky trying to remember how it felt to fly...

Martie, you understand me so well.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 4 years ago from Louisiana

I really enjoyed this. The thought that our characters were actually "real" and could write their own stories, but it is still really the author doing the writing though isnt it. A world inside a world inside a world. so surreal and imaginative. Very creative Kallini. I just love the stories revolving around narcissus and friends.


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 4 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Thank you, Nikki. I called them "a bunch of daffodils"...

The major character is, though, Dolores, but I don't remember why I sent her into this dream...

But now I have to return to Rome to my main characters

Twilight Lawns

mckbirdbks

myself

Maja Dezulovic,

Augustine is just a plan...

not yet written

but I lost my general idea, so now I have to go around and pick bits and pieces...

So, do I don't know, when, what.. how..

No promises can be made


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 4 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

Surreal! I love the yellow butterfly.

I have always loved yellow butterflies.

"And I went out and gathered

Scooped the air and brought within our bungalow

Plucked from out the ether, tiny souls;

Chrome yellow butterflies, no bigger than a spot of light

They’d fluttered in the morning air, bright drops of light."


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 4 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Dear Ian:

I think your comment is more beautiful than my entire hub.

I love butterflies, too, even more so after I took them as a motif for the story of Narcissus. Of course, I am not that original, butterflies are a classic symbol of transformation.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 4 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

The quote is from one of my first hubs 'Chrome' which is another of the British India lot.

If you haven't read it, and regarding the yellow theme, I think you might like it.


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 4 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Yes, Ian, I liked it. I liked its beauty and I liked its raw honesty.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working