VACILLATING FOOLS

Full of indecisions

All through life

Not knowing what to do

Causes all kinds of strife


Why are decisions

So hard for some to make

Wishy washy ways

A habit difficult to shake

Second guessing

Even the simplest of tasks

Can’t you make up your mind

Everyone asks


When we do make a decision

We think it’s the wrong one

Feeling like it’s a mistake

Now the damage is done

Back and forth wavering

Should I or not

Let’s be honest

This is our weak spot


Worried about

What others may think

Might drive us so crazy

We need to see a shrink

Do we not feel good enough

To stand for what we believe

Is our sense of worth so low

Or are we simply naïve


Confidence and self-esteem

Should be taught in schools

Helping so many of us

Not act like vacillating fools.

                                   Sharyn's Slant


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Comments 44 comments

tumblintumblweed profile image

tumblintumblweed 5 years ago

Awesome hub here,Sharyn! Great advice too! I think we all struggle trying to decide what's right for us, or do we try to please others? I think we all need to be true to ourselves first!

Blessings!

Janet :)


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

To be or not to be? - BE.

Interesting Slant.


mslizzee profile image

mslizzee 5 years ago from Buncombe County, NC

Well, I really like your full on frontal attack on this subject :) but I do not believe you can teach self esteem in school by constantly telling kids how great they are. I see that a lot lately, every little single thing they do they are told how great it is. I say make them really accomplish something, something difficult, that's where real self esteem comes from and let them fail too. Make them solve problems and deal with big challenges.

Well, anyway that's how I see it. I happen to have three high achiever sons who do things like design the Biltmore Spas,hold executive positions at large corporations and open their own businesses. Their single momma cut them no slack.


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Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Good Morning Janet,

Thanks so much for your comments. I do believe that trying to please others is a big part of decision making issues for me. Thank you for pointing this out :)

Have a great day!

Sharyn


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Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hello MckBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE,

I agree . . . thanks for stopping by!

Sharyn


Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 5 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California

Hi Sharyn. Oh, boy! Does this one sting! Yes, I am guilty of wondering "what others will think...," feeling unsure, unfit, unable! Add to that a big dose of procrastination and self doubt...mix in some insecurity and self loathing and...voila...what a STRANGE BREW has been created! Actually, not that bad but...sometimes...well, on the other hand; it's "kinda like this..." or not..let me rethink that.." "but, if you look at it from THIS side.." I'll get back to you..."

UP Awesome and Funny *(cuz I relate~~)


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hello Mslizzee,

I hear what you are saying. Esteem should be built by accomplishment, which I agree with you.

Yet I have always thought that some sort of confidence building/self esteem should be taught at a young age. Maybe role playing where choices are presented and important decisions need to be made would be helpful. Activities and lessons that build trust to make appropriate decisions. As an adult, if we lack confidence, decision making can be difficult.

I am not saying to cut the slack with kids and tell them everything is wonderful all the time. Absolutely not. That would not prepare them for adulthood. Of course they must learn from accomplishment and failure too.

You are fortunate to have three high achieving sons. Many kids/adults lack the confidence to reach a higher potential.

The school courses (in my mind) would center around building self confidence; gaining self esteem; decision making techniques; problem solving; brainstorming; trusting our decisions; eliminating self doubt; facing day to day challenges; etc.

Just my thoughts . . . thank you so much for yours!

Have a great day!

Sharyn


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Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Morning Lucky,

Gosh, you make me laugh :) Sorry for the sting. What a strange brew for sure!

Thanks always for stopping by. I hope you DECIDE to have a beautiful day!

Sharyn


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 years ago from Jamaica

I have a co-worker who is like that...come to think of it, I know quite a few people like that. I love the way you put the words together. Nice!


Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 5 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California

Sharyn and others; I actually think that just being supportive, listening, hearing, truly caring about and taking children seriously during their developmental years is of ultimate importance. How many people are seen yelling and screaming at innocent kids just because they, themselves, are in a hurried, harried, short of time and temper? Kids are very intuitive and know when someone is not being true or honest; they can read phony expressions and words pretty easily; pretty quickly. to feel loved, cared about and important by parents and significant people in a child's life is so very essential. All is needed, in most situations (I believe) is for the parents to really have wanted the child and to really love that child once born. Of course, this isn't always the case and, as you have pointed out Sharyn; perhaps there are methods to instill self confidence and self 'liking' in young ones in a very natural way so that the child grows into a natural state of self appreciation and esteem. Earned! Yes! This comes later, when a child has the opportunity to begin to develop talents, abilities and expressions of individuality...as an older child and teenager.

Ps...I had fun w/the first comment...yes..it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood!


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Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Cardisa,

Thanks for your thoughtful comments. They are very much appreciated! Have a great day!

Sharyn


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Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Kathy (Lucky),

Thank you so much for your further comments. I agree with everything that you have expressed. I like when you use the term "methods." I guess it's kind of what I am thinking. "Methods" or lessons that are instilled at an early age. Thank you for your awesome feedback. So glad to hear it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood!

Sharyn


thebluestar profile image

thebluestar 5 years ago from Northern Ireland

Oh Sharyn this poem is so true. Reminds me of me. I am the most indecisive person I have ever met. I can talk myself and talk myself out of something so easily. I am post marking this one, and claiming it as my downfall lol


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

We make life so much harder than necessary. I ask my son a question and he begins with a long explanation. I interrupt with, "You or no Buddy, it is yes or no."

This was good to read as I sit here looking out on a green dogwood tree. I shall ponder this for a while.


Poetic Fool 5 years ago

Sharyn, I think far more people can relate to this than you would ever guess. The decisive ones among us are just better at hiding these feelings! Nice work on this one.


dearabbysmom profile image

dearabbysmom 5 years ago from Indiana

Sharon, I know just what you mean! Er...I think I know what you mean. But what if I didn't understand what you said and just think I did? Then if I say I agree, does it sound like I think you are actually indecisive? Or that I am? Or that we both are and I'm just commiserating? Then how will that sound to others? Is it too exclusive? Does it forbid others to enter our inner sanctum of indecisiveness?

Kidding aside, how many of us go through that ridiculous process before we even do something as simple as comment on a hub? What a perfect poem you've written! Thank you for the inspiration to simply pick a direction and go without putting all the possibilities for every action under a 30X scope.


MobyWho profile image

MobyWho 5 years ago from Burlington VT

Let the kids help in lesser family decisions - if they turn out wrong, OK, but no recriminations. Learn from experience. Give them gradually more important decisions. They'll learn. The important point: listen to them and treat them as important members of the family. Easy to say; hard to do. Love your poem!


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Dear Sharyn,

Wow, this is an article I am super glad to be checking in on later; because, once again, the comments/ your responses are awesome, as is your subject matter! And I am very decisive about this!

I was exceedingly guilty of wanting to please the world before myself. It is surely hard to be a boss, a family member, even a member of society, when you are always last. Then one day, out of the blue, my world turned upside down and I almost died. A lingering effect is to maintain self care. When I focus on myself (and this by no means is selfish, I am good to a lot of people), I am able to make decisions effectively and efficiently.

I actually do a mental "Thelma and Louise" (last scene) if I am tempted to revert back to old habits, as I am only human. Being a woman and a nurse, I still want to cure world hunger!

Anyway, please be good to youself. You know what you really want so just do it! Love you, Maria

Voted UP & USEFUL, AWESOME & BEAUTIFUL-- like my friend!


prairieprincess profile image

prairieprincess 5 years ago from Canada

Sharyn, I can definitely relate! For every decision, I see both sides. You can definitely be TOO open-minded. You have expressed the frustration of indecision very well. Great poem!


Chatkath profile image

Chatkath 5 years ago from California

I can really relate to this Sharyn, we always hear "Make good decisions" but my decisions have usually turned out to be bad so I am always indecisive now, then my Dad tells me to "do something, then you will feel better" but what if it is the wrong "something"....very frustrating!

Thanks for sharing this and all these great comments everyone. Rated up and awesome and useful!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago

Wow, Sharyn, this Poem could be Me...how well you describe most of us in, "Vacillating Fools...Two Thumbs Up...I think?? Can't make a decision, only kidding!


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hello Blue,

I understand. Sometimes when I have a decision to make, I easily talk myself out of it. Or I just let time run out and then that is my decision. Can be very aggravating.

Thanks for stopping by!

Sharyn


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hello HBird,

I suppose I'm glad to make you ponder? :)

We do make life harder than it has to be. That is why I think that building confidence early on is important.

p.s. I love dogwood trees. Have a beautiful day!

Sharyn


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Dear Poetic Fool,

It is great to meet you. You probably are right that more people can relate than we think. Thanks for your comments.

Sharyn


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Dear D.A.M.,

Ha ha, you make me laugh. I SO agree about being indecisive about even commenting on a hub. I write and reread and question myself to make sure (hopefully) that I am not hurting others feelings. Being indecisive is SO time consuming. That aggravation is where this piece came from to begin with.

Thank you always ~ have a beautiful day!

Sharyn


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hello Moby,

So glad you stopped by. You are so right. "Learn from experience." In my mind, why shouldn't this "experience" also come from lessons in school? I think it could/should. Thank you for your feedback!

Sharyn


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Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Dear MARia :)

I always love your awesome comments. I totally understand feeling that it is necessary to please everyone else first before ourselves. I do believe this is where some of my indecisiveness comes from.

Your perspective is always enlightening. Of course, I wish you never had to go through such a horrible near-death experience. But because of this, your outlook on life is pure and so meaningful to me AND very much appreciated.

Thank you for such beautiful comments.

Big hugs,

Sharyn


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hello PP,

Thank you for your great comments. Being TOO open minded could certainly add to indecisiveness. Thank you so much for stopping by!

Sharyn


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Kathy,

Ha, you made me laugh. I totally agree. Because of decisions that have "turned out to be bad" or obviously were not the right ones, we second guess ourselves even more after that. For me, making previous bad decisions has caused me to lose confidence. It is absolutely frustrating.

Thank you so much for your loyal following and feedback always. Have a beautiful day Kath!

Sharyn


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hello b.Malin,

I really appreciate you stopping by. Yes, this definitely describes "most" people. I believe that being indecisive can be a huge interruption in our lives, worse for some than others. Thank you for your comments ~ have a great day!

Sharyn


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Wow Sharyn, you must have been a fly on my wall this last year..it is hard to know if a decesion is right or not..I guess we step out in faith, pray, and then pray somemore..I use to worry which nursing job to take then i realized it really didn't matter as long as my heart was right while i did the job. But as humans we worry..and sometimes it just is hard not to do..Going with our gut feeling is usually the right path. Building confidence is something that does not come easy for me..in time I hope I will have more..Thanks for a great poem with much thought..

God Bless,

Sunnie


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Good Morning Sunnie,

I always appreciate you stopping by. You really hit on something that I believe is a big problem for me: you say going with your gut feeling is usually the right path. I do not always listen to my gut. My heart gets in the way and that is what I listen to more often. When I think back, if I listened to my gut, I'd be in a different (better) place in my life today.

I SO appreciate you pointing that out. I currently have a huge decision to make and the reminder about the "gut" is very helpful. Thank you my dear friend!

Sharyn


Little Kim profile image

Little Kim 5 years ago from Any town U.S.A.

It's better to risk the embarrassment, than to wonder what might have been. Words to live by but sometimes hard. I try to let go of what others might think. But then I think screw them and wear to different brightly colored socks!


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Little Kim,

I appreciate you stopping by! Too funny . . . wearing two different brightly colored socks ~ love it! I've been known to do silly things like that on occasion. Have a great day!

Sharyn


Leni Estevez profile image

Leni Estevez 5 years ago from Bronx, NY

Good hub!!


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Leni,

Thanks so much for stopping by. Have a great day!

Sharyn


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Sharyn - you really know how to make poetry relatable:). Gosh everyone must have times like this - I have and it's usually when I shouldn't make decisions for my self. Ambivalence!


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Kel,

Thanks for your vote of confidence :) I appreciate you stopping by ~ have a great day!

Sharyn


Pixienot profile image

Pixienot 5 years ago from Clarksville, Indiana

Hi Sharyn. I guess it all goes back to "someone's old saying, especially when you add children in the mix. "Don't say anything if you cannot say something nice." So if you are giving a child constructive criticism, make sure it is nice.

I used to be a toastmaster and sometimes we had to critique someone else's speech. We were taught to sandwich. That is, say something good about the speech, insert a criticism that would be helpful and then say something else nice about the speech. Rarely was this a hard thing to do. I think we need to teach our children and each other in this way. It does build a self-confidence that is almost unshakable.

Great poem and good message. Being scattered in thought comes to all of us at one time or another. It is most helpful, however, to not make it a way of life.

Voted up and awesome


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Pixie,

Sorry it took me so long to get back here.

Gosh, I really love the critique method you used for Toastmasters. Thank you for sharing that. It's simple and makes so much sense. I hope you enjoy your weekend!

Sharyn


allexia26 profile image

allexia26 5 years ago

Very good hub Sharon, you describe me and my decision making skills to the T, I often wonder about the decisions I'am faced with everyday and if I'm making the right choices.


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Allexia,

How are you? Doesn't decision making get frustrating at times. I sure think so :) Thanks so much for stopping by!

Sharyn


DTroth profile image

DTroth 5 years ago from My Little Hole In The Wall, HubPages, USA

Hi Share!

I love this poem. It's so true! I know quite a few people like this. My husband for one. He's a Libra. Need I say more? hehe (:

I like to make up my mind right quick one way or the other (that doesn't mean I always make the RIGHT decisions though) and he ALWAYS takes several whole seconds (like...forever) to respond, even to the simplest of questions. It's so aggravating when I'm late running out the door to work and stupidly, forgettingly, regretfully ask him something and then he hem-haws around for what seems an eternity. aaarrrggghhh!!! (: I'd just tell him to call me on my cell phone when he's ready with his answer. I finally stopped asking him anything when I already feel rushed. It's much less stressful that way. (: Although, I should probably follow his queue and not be so quick in my decision making. I've made some real bad decision making "doozie's" lately. ...jeeesh.

Voted UP, U, F and A.

Take care, sweets,

Diana


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Gosh you sure know how to make me laugh Diana. Thank you so much for your fun comments and votes. Love ya,

Sharyn

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