Mystery Stories - A Very Short Mystery Story

Unknown Caller

We live in very technologically advanced times, so what if, one day, you found someone else's phone in your house and you didn't have any visitors for a while...what would you do...would it be a simple case of figuring it out or what? So here's my story...

Ah-achoo! Always the dust up my nose on the monthly Monday housecleaning. If you cared to look in the lounge window as you passed our city-slick dwelling, parked in a close-knit community of upmarket overpriced semi-detached houses, you would see me bent over in a paroxysm of dust mite explosions.

This particular Monday, my sneezing began as I put hand to our velvet-clad couch and thrashed the dust into life. Tears acted like magnifiers as my eyes caught a square of silver peeping through the large soft black cushions. Surprised, I extracted the shiny object. A cell phone! I turned it over and tried a few buttons to access the contacts. I almost dropped it as a loud fanfare of orchestral music from Vivaldi’s ‘Spring’ signalled a call.

‘Unknown’ showed on the screen. Not daring to answer, I placed the phone on the coffee table, where it vibrated in a dance of unanswered rage. I felt guilty for some unknown reason. Whose phone was it?

I lived alone, now that my youngest daughter had moved nearer her college several months before. I had no visitors I could recall for the last few months. People I knew seemed busy and distracted and declined invitations to visit our house. Was it one of my daughter’s many ‘lost’ phones? I searched through ‘contacts’ again. None seemed familiar. I dialled a number at random.

“Hello,” I said hesitatingly. What could I say to persuade the person I wasn’t some idiot fooling about? A female voice answered and declined to know anything about how her number was included in the phone list. She cut me off abruptly. I tried several more to no avail. Puzzled, I saw that the battery was running low and searched in my box of collected phone items for a suitable battery recharger. This collection was due to the continuous stream of missing phones on my daughter’s part. I was in luck and thanked the standardization of modern technology and the need to keep the items in a closed box.

I sent my daughter and son a text, asking if they knew the phone’s owner. My son’s text came back, immediately curious about the phone, but with no information about its owner. There was no text from my daughter, who was usually the world’s promptest text writer. I sent her another text, to no avail. She was obviously busy. I wondered if I would keep the phone as part of my collected phone items. It was password protected, so I could never turn it off and on again. A bit of a waste and so much for finders keepers!

Monday dusting now forgotten, I decided to make some coffee, this being my day-off from the busy downtown private detective agency I ran with a long-time partner. I was half tempted to disturb his busy day with a request for a code to unlock the password, but I decided to leave it. He might drag me into some work.

Searching once again through the phone contacts for some clue, I gasped when I saw my own number on the screen. What was it doing there? A sudden soft noise behind me drew my attention back into the room. I turned around and faced down the cold muzzle of my own black double action revolver. At the other end of the gun, I looked into a pair of dark eyes staring out from a black hooded face.

“Don’t move lady or you’ll get it here and here,” a man’s low voice growled at me.

“What do you want?” I managed to say without stuttering.

“Gimme that phone,” he growled. Snatching it from my outstretched hand, he dropped it into an open sports bag at his feet. My eyes widened, as I saw the open bag’s contents. “That’s my jewellery,” I muttered at him.

“That’s right lady and now it’s mine. Turn around,” he commanded.

Strong hands gripped my wrists and with a push I fell off balance, face down on the floor, where he bound my hands and feet together. No counter- attack here!

“Stay quiet lady or you’ll get it.” His soft footsteps moved to the lounge door.

“Why is my name on your phone? And how did your phone get in my couch?”

My questions fell on deaf ears. The front door slammed shut. With plenty of time to think things through, one question persisted. Who was the unknown caller?

Comments 140 comments

daisyjae profile image

daisyjae 6 years ago from Canada

I like your story but it needs an ending! Who was the unknown caller!

I have read a few of your stories and poems and I have enjoyed them, you are a good writer.


chspublish profile image

chspublish 6 years ago from Ireland Author

Clue: Was he a thief who sat on the couch and lost the phone down the couch? How did her number get on his phone?

It's left to you to decide.


Barraoc profile image

Barraoc 5 years ago from Co. Meath, Ireland

I like this story. Sounds like an inside job to me!


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Good comment. Thanks Barraoc.


barack 5 years ago

yo man story is nice thanks a lot


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Thanks barack for stopping by. Happy holidays!


attemptedhumour profile image

attemptedhumour 5 years ago from Australia

Now i'm going to have to spend Christmas day trying to fathom out this phone business but i reckon i'll have at least six culprits before lunch time and a telling off from my busy wife for not concentrating. Cheers good little tale.


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Good on you. That's the spirit. Merry Christmas!


Don Simkovich profile image

Don Simkovich 5 years ago from Pasadena, CA

Fun. I'm beginning to write fiction ... actually, been writing fiction for the past year and a half and finishing a novel with interest from a publisher. I studied fiction at university. As a kid, I liked an Alfred Hitchcock series written for kids. I can't remember the name but it really gave a sense of place. Also, James Herriot is one of my favorite modern day writers ... although, he may be soon not modern day. But the emotions he conjured up in me with his vet stories and the sense of place he captured was magnificent.


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Thanks Don. Good to hear about your fiction writing and what interests you as a reader. Thanks for stopping by.


Glemoh101 profile image

Glemoh101 5 years ago

Thanks for this interesting story.


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Thank you for stopping by and glad you liked it. All the best.


Titan Writer 5 years ago

Wow, very interesting. I really liked how you really got into the characters mind, making the reader think they were right there with them, listening to their thoughts and concerns about the unknown caller. Now, the only question that remains is, was the mysterious masked robber the owner of the phone or just a random coincidence. The world may never know who the phones owner is.

Wonderful job.

Keep it up.


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

A really lovley comment, Titan Writer, that makes it all worthwhile. Thanks for stopping by.


Genna East profile image

Genna East 5 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

"My questions fell on deaf ears. The front door slammed shut. With plenty of time to think things through, one question persisted. Who was the unknown caller?"

This short story was so captivating, I am wondering if, and when, there will be a Chapter 2? Excellent hub!


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Thanks Genna. Appreciate the comment. No chapter 2. Short and sweet, I'm afraid.


katiem2 profile image

katiem2 5 years ago from I'm outta here

great suspenseful story, I look forward to reading the end of this mystery cliffhanger story. :) Katie


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Oops, you're among the people who think there's an ending to this story. I'm afraid that's it. You have to figure out who the unknown caller was or why was there a call at that particular time? Sorry.

I'll have to write another story of this ilk with, perhaps, a better kind of ending. Thanks for coming by. Look forward to hearing from you again.


Betzy 5 years ago

Omg ! noone knows who's the unknown caller , why have a mystery and not tell who was the mystery ?


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Thanks for stopping by. There really isn't any answer. It's whoever you want it to be.


abcdefghijklmnop 5 years ago

yeah izz good

^__^


writer20 profile image

writer20 5 years ago from Southern Nevada

Wow! A great story. My heart's still beating like it's running away .


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Thanks for the great comment.


fashion 5 years ago

Interesting story.You really got into the characters mind, making the reader think they were right there with them.good job.


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Hi fashion, thanks for the insightful comment.


will345davis 5 years ago

Great story. I was caught in the very beginning. I had to finish.


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Hi, sorry I didn't get back to you. It seems hubpages no longer notify me. Glad you liked the story. Thank you.

You might like The Artist's Door also if you like a kind of 'mystery' story. Thanks for visiting.


Ari 5 years ago

I really liked it and it helped me in writing my own story for my holiday homework. Thanks a lot


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Glad you got something from the story Ari. You must like mystery stories?


jessica 5 years ago

it helped alott for my english projrect


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Hi Jessica, There's nothing like a mystery story that can help writing project. Glad I could help in some way. Keep writing !


shabbir y shakir 5 years ago

The story was good but who was the unknown caller

and how did the phone reach in his house?


nishtha khanna 5 years ago

thakyou so much for helping me in my project.


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Shabbir and Nishtha, thanks so much for reading the story.

Shabbir - therein lies the mystery, where you can draw your own conclusion or not. The answer is not necessarily defined by the story - you can come up with you own one!

Nishtha - so glad the story telling helped you in some way.

All the best.


Chandni.Kamlani 5 years ago

plz could u give a suitable ending for ur story or atleast guide me in doing it


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Hi Chandni, it seems some people, like yourself, don't like incomplete endings. The ending can be that she was set up by someone who knows her very well - can you think who that might be?

Or maybe the intruder had access to her house at another time or even the previous day - something like that is the thinking.

It's not conclusive and some people like 'endings' like that, where they can work things out to their own satisfaction.

The ending is a bit vague and does leave one wondering. My apologies if you found that somewhat annoying. Best of luck.


Algust Roxas 5 years ago

I really like the story, I am from the Philippines and we all know that my country is the world's texting capital so I can clearly picture out what is going on to the story., I like it when you leave the story a bit hanging at the end because "WE" the readers will try to imagine as much as possible reasons why her number is on the phone book and who that person was..More Power!!!


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Delighted Algust, that you see the layout of the story this way. That's it exactly as I intended it for the reader, though you can see from some of the comments, that not all readers like the end to be hanging.

Perhaps if you wanted, you could give some of your reasons or answers to the puzzle, as I left it hanging.

Thanks for the visit and best of luck to yourself.


meghal shah 5 years ago

this story is awesome,i really liked it so much.


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Hi Megal Shah, thank you for your very encouraging comment.


Gayaz 5 years ago

I am not used to such endings, but then I think this is the best way to make reader think in differently, since life is full of uncertainities and shock. Thanks for realising me the same... Regards, Gayaz.


Gayaz 5 years ago

Moreover I from India and i have great inclination and interest towards English Language, can you please guide me out in the art of writing articles, novels etc...


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Hello Gayaz, thanks for your interesting comment on the story. The ending is open and so gives rise to uncertainty and thus adding to the mystery, I hope.

As for guidance on writing articles in English. Will you be writing articles for HubPages or elsewhere?

Your question deserves a long answer, but to make it short here are some suggestions.

1. Write about what you know. your article will have a better flow if your knowledge is familiar to you. Readers will like you style.

2.Make out a plan first - a few notes on a bit of paper, showing yourself how you will link up your ideas.

3. A good headline and good interesting and attention grabbing first paragraph.

4. A good ending - saying something the readers will remember or asking a question that causes the reader to think and want to answer. You can see what I was trying to achieve at the end - getting the reader to think for themselves, though some readers don't like that. They want the answer. Nonetheless, it causes them to engage in a comment.

5. Good spelling and grammar - so edit and re-read your article many times before you release it into the internet.

6. Original pictures and drawings are always impressive to the reader and eye-catching as well. Take a look at Mark Ewbie's work, for instance, on HubPages and you will see how he has succeeded with (a)original style and (b) original drawings

7. Be yourself in your own style and readers will get to know and like your style.

8. Be patient if no one reads. Put up more articles.

Hope that was helpful. Best of luck and thanks again for visiting.


Dave Fernandes 5 years ago

Great story, but I wished there was a little more suspense to it. As I was reading it, i was imagining something else happening to the ending, perhaps you kept getting unknown calls, or possible a gang member was searching for the thief to kill him for an unfinished business. But great all together.

I've also just started getting into creative writing for short stories. I've just completed my very first :). if your interested to read, please do check me out at thatstwowords.blogspot.com. I'm looking for feedback on my writing as well.


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Hey Dave, thanks for the suggested alternative endings. It's good you're interested in writing stories. What a great way to spend the time, is my view. I'll certainly read your story.


sjkdijdeidkoooooooooooooooooswiiokd 5 years ago

crazy story hahahah


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Hi sjkdijd,

Many thanks for reading the story.


Shashwat 5 years ago

Gr8 Story... Helpd me a lot!!!


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Shashwat, thank you very much. So glad to be of help.


Gayaz 5 years ago

Thanks a lot for the guidelines. I will definitely stick onto it. Regards, Gayaz.


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

You're welcome Gayaz. Good luck with your writing.


bobo 5 years ago

gr8 story!!!! helped me with mu english assignment!


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Thanks so much bobo and for taking the time to read the story.


Bramhdeep Singh 5 years ago

Loved it really what a great piece of work helped me in my English assignment as well. thnx


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

You're welcome Bramhdeep and I hope your assignment goes well for you.

And welcome to HubPages. I see you have just joined and thanks for following.

Perhaps you will upload some stories to HubPages when you get a chance, so we get to read yours as well.

Thanks for reading.


Brandon 5 years ago

(: loved your story heres mine " Last But Not Least

We start this story in a small town in Holland, Netherland, where 11 Marines, and 10 relatives of the people on Indian island…come together as all of them were or still are related to the people who died on Indian island, All of these Marines, though some of the marines were related to one another. But never the less that come together share the same story, They’ve all lost a family member in the famous mystery of “Indian Island” They also have come together to solve a new mystery “Red Wall Of Amsterdam”, Not so such of a murder mystery, As well as a planned assault made by The U.S Marines… Yes everyone knew about the “Red Wall of Amsterdam”… They say that day you could see the Red gooey blood, as it quickly ran down the wall. They say it was as stringy as gum, it also ran down the walls as quickly as water runs the down the stream of a river….The story of the “Red Wall Of Amsterdam” was that the United States, have sent the marines into the Netherlands in a special mission carried out by the president John, F, Kennedy, This mission was to that the Marines were not to leave no survivors of the cult Named “The Peoples Temple”… The people’s temple’s type of suicide…..Or murder has been around for ages, so this is how the marines were sent. John F. Kennedy wanted to stop the “The peoples Temple” Beliefs…So the marines were sent… A war wages out...For 4 years in the Netherlands…Suicide bombing of Netherlands was mad. But they failed. This War was one of the most well known, Most of them know it as the “Second Revolution” But its other most well known name was “The Red Wall Of Amsterdam”. The marines left no causalities, as 110,000 People died…Some from the cult…some from other religious groups that helped out the cult “the people’s temple” This war was wagered one of the most expensive. As ammunition needed to be sent to the Netherlands almost every day. This war was also the end of “The Depression”. This was also believed to have settled the Depression. The war of “The Red Wall of Amsterdam”. Will be remembered

Chapter One: The Meeting

As the sun would set in, from the west I’d feel a gusty breeze blow in from the slightly cracked open door that I needed to replace the handle on. On October 17th, 1929 at 12:45 Am. I Ben Starling, One of the most healthiest and wealthiest men as for now living in a study have many tinned foods, drinks and well other many food sources, living in Holland, Netherlands I have decided to write in this Journal about a research project , or experiment I attend to accomplish, The experiment involves me inviting several members of the “Red Wall of Amsterdam” and some family members of the case “Indian Island”. So I have intended to invite the top 11 members of the Marine Corps and 10 relatives of the members who died on Indian island I have sent them here unto my study. Not as a meeting but somewhat as a family re-union of the troops stationed by De Rode Hoed. The Soldiers stationed near De Rode Hoed, were sent unto this man’s study to help him confront the cult’s about their previous assault on the American’s…. Revenge? Possibly….. As I could remember one of the members in the house began to remember the Red Wall of Amsterdam he sang the Nursery Rhyme

21 People left in combat

“One ran out of ammo, and couldn’t defend himself against the tom-cat”

20 People in the kitchen

“One got to cook, The other on a hook”

18 People outside in the rain

One felt a sudden pain , The others just sat and watched it rain”

17 People in the house

“The lights blew out, One was infected by a mouse”

16. People preparing for combat

“One pulled the pin, the others didn’t win”

8 People preparing for dinner

“One was left outside, Never survived the winter”

7 People thinking waiting

“One thought to hard and then there was no debating”

6 American soldiers received duty

“One of them hustled to quick and stepped on something then went Ke-blewie”

5 People left in the house

The lights blew out, But this time it was no mouse”

4 People inside from the rain

“two of the People felt a sudden pain”

2 people left all alone

“One shut another, and then a sudden moan”

1 person left all alone

“He drunk a bad whiskey, but no moan”

Now I Ben Starling 2nd lieutenant should of caught onto this sooner….this nursery rhyme well…it was rather different as you can see I am very smart for a person of his early 20’s and yes…I should have caught onto this but before it was too late….By the time I figured out who the killer was I was already dead, I should of figured it out sooner…. It wasn’t who I thought it was….

Lets go back to the beginning

March 31st, 1939 we were all invited to this study early in the morning any of us who were late were kicked out….And wouldn’t have a chance to join back in the Marines again…lets put it this way… No job… no money… but late in the afternoon when everything was suddenly quiet…..We hear gunshots firing in the air….As we walked out we didn’t see no gunshots…or of matter of fact…No people…just firecrackers… Now one of my soldiers under me….Boy what a cocky little fellow he was…Always wanting to prove himself…He decides to check it up, well the matter of the fact was “21 people left in combat, one ran out of ammo and couldn’t defend himself against a tom-cat”…And all of a sudden we see a bob cat in the midst of the afternoon fog…the cocky little fellow shot and shot…….But all after that he ran out of ammo…Once he was done there was no was no more shooting….He tried to run back inside for safe cover, but in a quick snap of a finger he was…well carried away by the tom-cat….Basically the story ends like this…..Half of the people die from a heart attack, one fourth of them die from either “idiotic mistakes” or never thought it could be done….such a simple little nursery rhyme really…cant believe I caught onto it any sooner….. And once I did trust me I didn’t forgive myself for letting almost 21 people die…yes I said almost as I was the character who could “Never survive a winter” as I tried to warn the people of what would happen the doors were frozen shut….i had no hope of telling them and when I had time…..everyone was dead yes I felt absolutely horrible..If you shall ever find this…Please revenge m- (The Letter stops here with blood drops on the pages)

April 3rd 1929 10:30am

All of us came to meet at the study in Netherlands Holland, we’ve received a message saying that our top 11 marines were to meet and pair up with 10 unknown people from England. They said our salaries will be doubled in size for this military experiment… But never did I know what the risks were; we all met in the kitchen at 8:35 Pm. As we all had to set up our things in our rooms, I was not one of those people putting my stuff up…I was the one exploring every little part of the house, every part of the outside and inside. I’ve discovered a few things…. The house wasn’t all that…well as you could say well-fitted? As there was leaks in the cealing…" so there is what i got


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland Author

Hi Brandon, I take it this is going to be a long story.

Can i suggest that you sign up to HubPages and release the story in chapters there for all to see and invite comments.

I think you have very intriguing story here and I'm sure others would like to read it and make appropriate comments to encourage you in the finishing of it.

So, what do you think? Maybe join and post more on HubPages. You deserve a showcase and encouragement to keep going. I do so hope you do.

Thanks for coming by and showing your story here.


shray 4 years ago

interesting and good story


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland Author

Thanks shray. Keep well.


kari tom 4 years ago

it's good n best of all


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland Author

Hey kari tom, delighted you enjoyed the story. Thanks for visiting and best wishes.


Ankur Shinde 4 years ago

Wow!!

It was an AWESOME Story!!!

Thnx!


Angie Aguilar profile image

Angie Aguilar 4 years ago

love the story but I want an interesting end..


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland Author

Hi Angie, thanks for visiting and reading the story. We all certainly have different views about how stories should end.

Some people, like me, prefer the loosely worded ending, so you have to guess what happened. Others, perhaps like yourself, prefer the definitive ending. (I'm guessing here that is your preference).

You see, you can come up with a few different answers to the ending yourself.

It's the only story I've written like that and funnily enough, it's the only story that has attracted many readers. Strange, isn't it?

Thanks again for reading the story and I hope you will visit again.


harsha vardhan mutyala 4 years ago

nice one:-)


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland Author

Thank you for your nice comment. Cheers.


mayur 4 years ago

super story...loved it..!!


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland Author

Hello mayur, thanks for coming by. Delighted you liked the story. Take care.


Richard 4 years ago

You really need to have an ending or else I can't write a story based on yours. Please. I won't copy yours


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland Author

Hi Richard, thanks for reading. The ending may not be to your satisfaction, but that's the way it is at the moment. Thanks for coming by.


Jessica 4 years ago

thanks for the story it was interesting once when i was in seventh grade i wrote a story something that was almost like you story thanks for making my day a mystery day


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland Author

Hi Jessica, thanks and I'm so glad you enjoyed the mystery and puzzle of it. Thanks for the visit.


aziz 4 years ago

i love your story

its intresting but it needs an ending ...

but i still love it ;)


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland Author

Dear Aziz, thanks for reading.

As regards 'an ending', that is an opinion. It is deliberately set as an open ending. So you choose your own ending in your imagination.

I know it can be annoying that there is no set ending, but that's deliberate and if you check other comments, you will see that others agree with you, that there should be a defined ending and others are happy that the ending is open. Controversial I know, but that can be good for the reader who has to think out his own ending.

Thanks for your comment and I hope you visit again. Take care.


Malavika 4 years ago

I certainly loved your story. I'm 11 years old and this inspired me to start writing a short story. It helped me with a game too :)

could you write some more for me?


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland Author

Malavika, great to hear from you.

So glad that you're writing your own stories. Maybe HubPages will allow you to upload your own and then have others read yours.

Thanks for visiting and your lovely comment. You might like to check out the very short story called 'Another Very Short Mystery Story -Granddad's Shed' for another kinda 'mystery' story. There's also the story - divided into part 1 and 2 called 'The Last Vampire in Ireland.'

Thanks again.


Malavika 4 years ago

The Artist's door was amazing! I really hope to read more of your stories. Have you written any books?


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland Author

Well thank you Malavika for your very encouraging comment. You'll find some of the longer stories - written as a book - I've written for your age group(9-13), uploaded on HubPages and divided into chapters called - 'The Mystery of the Shandon Clock'. Another book is uploaded in chapters as 'The Shandon Rumblings'.

Don't forget to join Hubpages and upload your own stories, so we can all read your good work.

Thanks for visiting again and take care.


Malavika 4 years ago

I'm glad you noticed my comment, I have started reading the series :)I told my friends your story and they told that it was really interesting story.

Thankyou for the help and support.

I hope we can pass on comments like this...


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland Author

Thanks again for your helpful comment.


Malavika 4 years ago

I've read the story, its really interesting. My favourite is still the artists door. Could you write another one like that?


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland Author

Thanks for your keen interest. I think it may be a little while before I write something like that again, as I have ongoing writing commitments, but I will try and thanks again.


Shams 4 years ago

very nyc story...i hv my english exam n dis will help me 2 do my best in story writing...............thanku vry much!!! :D


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland Author

You're very welcome and best of luck in the exam!


heavymetallover06 4 years ago

nice story...you should probably do a novel on it,making it more complex...but make it a rather creepier ending, cause the plot is nice, but the ending needs an abridged spice


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland Author

Thanks for the review...nice one. Best wishes.


Maisam 4 years ago

An enchanting story ! Enjoyed it all the way. Hopefully looking forward to join you soon on hubpages.


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland Author

Thank you Maisam.I can definitely recommend HubPages for any aspiring or established writer as an enjoyable place to be, where you will find a supportive and interested community of like-minded people, writing under various topics.


Abby 4 years ago

This story stinks!:( Thumbs down chspublish!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Excellent! Up and awesome!


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland Author

Greetings Will and thanks for your great comment. all the best.


William 4 years ago

Hi im William,im ten and i needed some ideas for my mystery story and you helped me a lot.I got lots of main ideas in mind now! thank you really enjoyed it


william 4 years ago

hi again my mom said your story was awesome! someday i want to be a writer like you i really like reading and writing so much that i want to be an author!

p.s. too bad i cant get an account but mabye when im in grade 7 ill tell you how im doing (dont worry i wont forget)and ill right my stories online too ! wish you the best !take care ! :)


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland Author

Hi William! It's great you have a big interest in writing. It's always a challenge to come up with the story that will work. Hope to see your work on HubPages in the near future. It's a very helpful space for writers of all sorts of topics. Wishing you all the best and keep up the stories. Thanks for visiting my spot.


htodd profile image

htodd 4 years ago from United States

Nice Story ..Thanks a lot


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland Author

Hi htodd, thanks for reading and for visiting. All the best.


javier 4 years ago

it is good


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland Author

Hello javier, thanks for reading it and glad you enjoyed the story.


javier 4 years ago

do u got more book


shabham 4 years ago

ghatiya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


sanjana.s.megalamane 4 years ago

nice story it helped me a lotttttttttttttttttttttttttt :P

:)


mainak 4 years ago

intresting story


Sushi 4 years ago

I love this story a lot and i love u


Sushmita Shan 4 years ago

Ilike this story a lot. But i expect more mystery. But overall the story is outstanding. Thank you for writing this story.


mona 4 years ago

niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland Author

Many thanks to all for your encouraging comments. Write your mystery story and put it on Hubpages.com


Annemari profile image

Annemari 4 years ago from Tiny part of the World

Marvellous story. I like it .

Its good and voted up.


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland Author

thanks very much


priti.. 3 years ago

thanksssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss vry ncee story it helped me a lot.................


chspublish profile image

chspublish 3 years ago from Ireland Author

Grrrrreat comment. Thank you for reading.


mahi 3 years ago

nice story

......

...

its intresting but it needs an ending ...


KP 3 years ago

I liked your ending leaving the readers yearning for more.I use this ploy once a while.As you said there are many possibilities and ways to end the story.Your narration was gripping


chspublish profile image

chspublish 3 years ago from Ireland Author

Delighted KP you see the benefit of such an endiing, though some other commentators are very dissatisfied with an abrupt and barely worked out ending. Thanks for your visit. Appreciate it.


AdmiralJim profile image

AdmiralJim 3 years ago from North West England

I really enjoy how it leaves so much to the reader's imagination, less definitely is more in this case. Was the phone even the burglar's? Or just mere coincidence? He never confirms ownership. Lovely.


chspublish profile image

chspublish 3 years ago from Ireland Author

AdmiralJim, that's a really great comment. you sum up the dilemma very well. Thanks for visiting.


Marlin 55 profile image

Marlin 55 3 years ago from USA

Great mystery story telling at its best.


kanika 3 years ago

what a story!


Alice Ann Day 3 years ago

ahhhhh... Brilliant writing. Fantastic mystery. Very frustrated though as the key to a good mystery is an ending


billy billingtons 3 years ago

nice very interesting


PALLABI 2 years ago

WOW ! nice suspicious story - won't u tnk that there shd b an endng


Pearson Education 2 years ago

Hi

We are planning to use this story in our upcoming book.We would appreciate if you could provide us your email address.

Thanks


Pearson Education 2 years ago

Hi

We are planning to use this story in our upcoming book.We would appreciate if you could provide us your email address.

Thanks


chspublish profile image

chspublish 2 years ago from Ireland Author

Thanks for your interest, but I won't be giving out my email address at this time.


sneha 2 years ago

hii..

very well done ...i like mysterious stories ..I want a beautiful ending .please help.


oyeoye 2 years ago

Interesting.. nice story


chspublish profile image

chspublish 2 years ago from Ireland Author

Thanks for your comments. Keep reading HubPages and submitting your writing to HubPages!


Tanveer 2 years ago

Too bad


naruto9 2 years ago

very good story.very interesting story


tanu 24 months ago

it can be more short but very awesome


drishti 24 months ago

good mysterious story ....and eagerly waiting for second half of the story!!!


nishi 24 months ago

bakwaass story think after you post the story


mom 23 months ago

your stories are very bad to read i feeled very boring

samjee you


dsrdgt 13 months ago

cxvfdg


Vikram Varma 13 months ago

Thats one hell of a story man, it helped my sis wid her story recitation at school !

Thank you !!


Anne 10 months ago

Very fun and good story


Anne 10 months ago

Nishi you should think before posting your comment


Jojo 8 months ago

I want to know who unknown caller and woman answered the random number and theif and ehy lady's number on the phone


jackie 8 months ago

i dont even read but it looks good


spandan 6 months ago

Its a very great story. I want to inform you that I also write stories. And recently I am the good writer of all in my school. Many students tried to challenge me but honestly I can say no one had won it. But your story is unbeatable. Just awesome


Vatun 2 weeks ago

Thank u it helped me a lot in my English project

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