Violence Has a Voice

When I hear your voice,

Warmth spreads through me

When I see you before me

A smile breaks across my face

That was the beginning of us

But now, it is only a memory

When I hear your voice,

My stomach ties up in knots

When I see your anger,

My heart beat quickens

When I see your fists clenched,

I shake and quiver

Watching your fist raise in the air,

I freeze, rooted to the ground

Upon impact of skin touching skin,

Within, a throb, a searing pain

Impact upon impact

I cannot escape

Except in my mind

I go somewhere safe

A place with no time

A place with no light

A place with no pain

A place with no fear

Time passes by

How long I do not know

Mustering courage

I open one eye

I am alone

You are gone

I cannot move

I cannot speak

I cannot bear

The pain anymore

Gathering strength

Up, up I stand

On my own

In a distant land

Alone and broken

You have won

Deep inside

Mutiny begins

Gathering myself

To face the day

Decisions are made

Bags are packed

Ready to leave

A tortured life

I’m ready to live

A better day

 

Beth100

Copyright 2009

More by this Author


37 comments

Beth100 profile image

Beth100 4 years ago from Canada Author

Wisdom25 -- It was extremely difficult to write this piece, as you could imagine. I'm glad that the title caught your attention. Thank you. Peace and light.


Rolly A Chabot profile image

Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

Great poem and a hard read ... blessed to have hope...

Hugs from Alberta


wisdom25 profile image

wisdom25 4 years ago from San Tan Valley

Your title alone made me wanted to read this poem. lol. You have excellent imagery in this piece and a lot of emotions. I am a fan of this poem. Much Love and Respect


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 4 years ago from Canada Author

Vinaya -- Thank you Vinaya.


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

Esthetically beautiful!


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 4 years ago from Canada Author

Always Exploring -- It's wonderful to hear that you walked away!! :) You are courageous and an example to follow! Thank you for your kind words.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

This is so beautiful. I can relate, walking away saved not only my life but dignity too. Your voice still heals..Thank you...


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 5 years ago from Canada Author

IamMaster -- I find that it is my ability to turn to pen and paper that releases me from the past and the pain. Thank you for your compliment and support -- it makes a world of difference!


IamMaster profile image

IamMaster 5 years ago from USA

May I just say what an excellent poem you have produced! Such imagery, flowing words full of torment, shrouding all hope save one glistening ray. A pain one can only know from experience. You have so much strength, sharing this. There are many who couldn't bear such a burden, but you have shouldered yours and moved on to better life. Bravo!


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 5 years ago from Canada Author

Minnetonka Twin -- HT was blessed to have a sister as you to help and support her. I was a classic case -- isolated from my family and no friends. I don't know how I made it through. To be honest, to this day, my family is unaware of what had happend to me for all those years. They had their suspicions, but I never admitted it to them -- I was fearful that they would put him in jail and that somehow, I would lose my children. I allowed my fear and my weakness to keep me from taking a stand in my own defense. In my children's defense. Mistakes that I live with on a daily basis but from this, the knowledge that I gained is allowing me to change outcomes of events that I can predict from experience.

I am grateful that I am here today...alive.... aware.... loved... and supported by family and friends. Thanks MT. Just knowing that we are not alone in these experiences makes life a little bit more understandable and acceptable. It allows for self forgiveness.

Thank you and HT for always supporting me, and being there for me. Peace and light.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota

Such powerful words of the tragedy of violence and the pain and fear and destruction it causes. I watched Healing Touch go through this (my twin sister) and it was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. Thanks for sharing this heartfelt poem and inspiring others in this situation that there is hope. God Bless:)


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 5 years ago from Canada Author

Pearldiver -- Thank you and your kindness is kept in my heart. It was, and still is, difficult but I have learned that it is the trials in life - both good and bad - that sculpt us. I have also learned how great the effects and the influence of these effects from people that are in our lives from the moment we are born until the second we die. Life is made of links in a chain and lives between generations are linked together through these chains. One broken link can grant freedom from all the pain.

Of course, we find the strength within to go forward, but it is having caring friends, such as yourself, that make it that much easier to take the first step and to continue taking the steps in the right direction.

Thank you PD! Peace and light to you my friend! :)


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 5 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time.

How sad that so many struggle to understand that we all have the right be happy and wish to punish or be cruel to those of us that can find happiness outside of the needs of an abuser. How sad that anyone would find a free spirited soul like I have seen in you, a threat to their own insecurities. Proud of strangers I find myself, proud to meet and know those who rise above the hardship and use the pain as a launching pad to their own happiness... And Happy that you did Beth.. Excellent words that are worthy of that pride! Be Well and take care my friend..


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 5 years ago from Canada Author

Sofs -- Some of us learn the hard way, sometimes slowly but we all eventually learn our lessons. I'm grateful for each day that I have -- they're peaceful, calm and clear. At times, it is still a struggle to break free of the past, but support from friends and family, and encouragement always helps me stay on the right path. Thank you Sofs and I'm glad we've crossed paths. Love and big hugs to you too! :)


sofs profile image

sofs 5 years ago

Wow!Oh Beth, I wondered about the clarity, now I know something more... Did I tell you I salute your spirit lady!! I'll do it again.... all of us make mistakes, that is human ..how we learn and grow thorough all this shows the strength of character. You have made your choice for the better...love and hugs to you Beth!!


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 6 years ago from Canada Author

Squirrelchaser -- Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I don't blame the men, not even the ones from my past. No where in my writings have I ever blamed the men. I am at a point in my life where I am confident of myself, where I know who I am, and know where I want to be. I have achieved great things, and those who know me, know that I am an intellectual. I have learned it is not what I wear, it is how I feel about myself and that is what is projected. I command, on a daily basis, a room of men for business meetings, and not one will deny the fact that I am beautiful, intelligent and powerful. Not one has attempted to degrade me. I am held with high respect and regard in my field. This is not dependent on how I dress. It is solely based on my attitude of myself, how I present myself and my belief in myself. You cannot predict what is ahead for me. I am not you and I am not the person who is standing next to me. One has no right to judge another or to condemn another to a path that is unwritten.


Squirrelchaser profile image

Squirrelchaser 6 years ago from Leesburg, FL

Beth, your poem comes right out of the inside of you and you are sharing that. I think you will encourage others to be more open and sharing about these things. However, I can't ignore that your profile picture is you, I guess, in a skimpy bikini rather suggestively posed. My concern is that you are putting yourself out there very sexually instead of as a woman of more substance. I can't think how to say it, but I feel you will attract men who want to capture your body but not your brain. I also want to tell you I've been there and there is more danger ahead. You may find yourself relating to more men who abuse you. It is very important to find out why you are attracted to such men. You can't blame it all on them.


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 6 years ago from Canada Author

Brian -- You surprise me!! Perhaps that is why the little boy didn't want to go cycling in the forest with his dad -- he heard there were cyco-paths in there!! (ah, the whole joke is in my other hub). Thank you Brian, I'll let you do the dirty deed for me. :)


brianzen profile image

brianzen 6 years ago

I can only smile as I muse, You must have the follow up poem where your fans scatter his parts in the forest.


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 6 years ago from Canada Author

Fred Allen -- You are a man who loves to protect, and it brings a piece of relief that men like you walk amongst us on this earth. Thank you for your comforting words. Though the actions are in my past, the feelings and fear can arise as fresh as the morning dew. Truth will always prevail.


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 6 years ago from Canada Author

Healing Touch -- Thank you for her hubber name, but I must be daft. I still can't find her when I search under the hubbers filter. I'm sorry, but can you send me the link to her profile? I'd appreciate it. Again, thank you for your support. Peace and light. :)


fred allen profile image

fred allen 6 years ago from Myrtle Beach SC

I sit here hundreds of miles away as my heart races to bring comfort. Your words have brought forth the fury of my soul. Fury against those who would dare attack innocence. Justice cries out. It will be heard. It will be served.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN

Beth100,

Thanks for liking th poem. Peace and light to you. The name of the lady I think you should follow is Kae arwen.

That is her hub name

Healing touch


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 6 years ago from Canada Author

Healing Touch, Your poem was tragic yet beautiful. I am deeply honored that I inspired you. You are strong, beautiful, courageous and a giving person. Peace and light. {{Hugs}}


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN

Beth 100,

You inspired me to write a chaotic poem of my old chaotic life with him.

It felt good. Thanks

Healing touch


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 6 years ago from Canada Author

Healing Touch -- If I could only help one, then I will fulfill my promise. If I could help more, then I am blessed. Thank you, Healing Touch, for being a kindred spirit on this path. I will follow Kae if you can give me her full profile name (thanks for the recommendation).


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN

Beth100,

This poem I understand all too well. You have done such a great job describing the physical sensations of the fear we go through from violence. Thanks. You will help many with this. You should follow Kae on hub pages.

Healing touch


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 6 years ago from Canada Author

Christoph -- I have banged my head against that concrete wall so many times that I have a permanent fissure in my brain. Somehow, I have managed to learn my lessons, and I'm all the better for them. I hope that through my writing of my experiences that it will help one person to leave a violent situation. If my writing could do that, then I have done what was asked of me when I began breaking the chain. Thank you for coming back and writing me again. I deeply appreciate this. xox


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis

I can understand that. Whether as writers or simply as human beings, we must draw on our bad experiences to learn from and grow, otherwise we are condemned to repeat them over and over. This must have been difficult to write, even just for yourself, but to post it for all to see takes a different type of bravery. I commend you!


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 6 years ago from Canada Author

Christoph Reilly -- I have found that my best work is from my own experience. It is unsettling, but it is the truth. I write these more for myself, as I find it to be healing. Thank you for your support. :)


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis

This makes me remarkably angry for the experience, yet hopeful for the conclusion. Very strong (if unsettling) work!


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 6 years ago from Canada Author

Steven -- Thank you Steven, and sometimes to grow, we need to experience the pain. It's not something I would wish upon anyone, but I am who I am today because of what I have lived through. I'm a survivor, and my eyes are no long shut wide open. I've learned my lesson, though changing behavior is a much harder task.


Stevennix2001 profile image

Stevennix2001 6 years ago

Wow, this has to be one of the best poems I ever had the honor to read. I hope this poem isn't based on your own life experience, as that would really anger me if anyone ever tried to hurt someone like you, Beth. Don't get me wrong, I would never want anyone to go through that in their lives, but I was just saying that since I do care about you. Anyway, this was a great poem, and I want to let you know that I really enjoyed reading it.


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 7 years ago from Canada Author

The human spirit is strong and the will to survive to see another sun rise is great. Thank you DeBorrah for your words.


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 7 years ago

Thanks for sharing

This poem shows the pain that the voice of violence often causes;

I am so glad that you ended it by having the strength to leave and begin moving to a better day

Blessings


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 7 years ago from Canada Author

lxxy,

Thank you for your supportive words for this piece.

Beth


lxxy profile image

lxxy 7 years ago from Beneath, Between, Beyond

"

A place with no time

A place with no light

A place with no pain

A place with no fear

Time passes by

How long I do not know"

Hauntingly...beautiful imagery...for such perverted behaviors.

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