Who Was My Father?
WHO WAS MY DAD
I don't remember my Dad,he left when I was two
Can I really miss? What I never really knew.
I only go with stories,told to me by my Mum
Some of them are disturbing,others leave me numb.
He was violent,a drunk,a bully and an abuser
My Mum, a means to an end,all he did was use her.
I don't know how I'd feel,if I met him face to face
Would I speak to him at all,would he be a disgrace?
I haven't seen this man in forty three years
He's never looked for me,he's never shed any tears.
Don't know if he's dead or if he's even alive
Does he have more kids? Without his help,did they thrive?
I wonder will I ever meet him,what could he possibly say
To justify his neglect,will I ever see the day?
I'm kind of up and down,on the idea of him showing face
What words would I say,would there be an embrace?
Would emotions over throw me,would I lash out at his showing
Would he sense anger or silence,is there any way of knowing?
The truth is I don't know,don't know how I would react
Would our meeting for the first time,end in some violent sort of an act?
I would not like to think I'd end up going to his level
By all accounts so far,he's portrayed as a heartless devil.
Only time will tell me,if we are ever destined to meet.
If he thought of me over the years,did his heart ever miss a beat.
I've never had a Dad except for a step dad.i don't know that much of where he went,if he's dead or alive,inevitably time will let me know one way or another.
i feel a void
with him not being there
most people have a Dad
its really not fair
will I ever see him?
will we ever meet?
will our paths ever cross?
it would be quite neat.
It's a terrible feeling not having a Dad to speak of.I grew up with a step Dad, but never knew my real Dad.bput can't help but wonder what if? Would my life be any different if I had the direct influence of my biological father,truth is i don't know,and may never know.i have a very curious and inquisitive mind,so me wondering often is probably not about to change any time soon.i don't know if that's a good thing or a curse. I think now and then if he is even alive,if I ever found him what would we be like with each other,after 43 years could we even salvage a relationship to speak of.
Would I call him Dad immediately or wait a while to see how it spans out. I think of all these daft instances often.they kind of keep my curiosity about him regular.
what type of man
ignores his son
for forty three years
a relatiomship ,there's been none.
could it be repaired?
if they ever met
would they fight and argue?
would we end up in regret?
Can he ever be your Dad?
Can he earn the name?
Or is the 43 years.
just a wasted game.
It is entirely possible we may have met at some point over our many years apart. I may have sat beside him on a train or a bus. I might have passed him in a shopping centre ,and never knew who he was,or the significance of our passing each other by. Maybe we have brushed passed each other at some point,just not destined to stop and speak to each other,to see if he has missed me. To see if there is guilt in his eyes at not being there for all this time. I like to think I may have passed by him at some point,to think that my search isn't a total lost cause. Maybe,in the future our paths might cross.Ony time will tell.
What he's missed.
I feel sorry for him to a certain extent. I feel sorry he's missed out on the opportunity to have had five wonderful grand kids. Memories and times he cannot get back.I feel sorry he missed my wedding, He missed every important milestone in my life. He missed the births of all my kids. He missed out on my bad days,the days he might have been able to have made a bit easier, ive had to cope with all these things by myself. I do feel sorry for him.
he has missed out on a least a thousand opportunities to smile.I've lost count of all the times my kids made me laugh and smile,all these times he could have been there if he had taken the time to find me. It's his loss,and a big loss at that. He has lost out in getting to know five wonderful kids and an amazing wife. Abscent fathers are a curse on society.it's an all too familiar headline in our time. Fathers being allowed to neglect their parental responsibilities after getting women pregnant. It shouldn't be allowed to happen , but in a lot of cases unfortunately,sometimes the family is better of without the father. He turns out to less than useless. Not a good recipe for taking responsibility for a young life.