Caution: Laughter Ahead
World’s Funniest One Liners
I recently came across a little pamphlet titled “101 of the World’s Funniest One Liners." It is published by “Living Waters Publications,” www.livingwaters.com
It was a riot. I would like to share a few I found particularly amusing.
- · Borrow money from a pessimist. They don’t expect it back.
- · I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
- · No one is listening until you make a mistake.
- · Campers: Natures way of feeding mosquitoes.
- · I started out with nothing and still have most of it.
- · Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.
- · Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.
- · Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
More One Liners
- · Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- · If at first you don’t succeed, don’t try skydiving.
- · If everything is coming your way, then you’re in the wrong lane.
- · Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- · Ask me about my vow of silence.
- · I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
- · Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive?
- · We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
- · Don’t steal. The government hates competition.
- · On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- · 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
- · Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
- · Few women admit their age; few men act it.
- · IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.
- · I wonder how much deeper the oceans would be without sponges.
- · Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
I hope you enjoyed these as much as I did.
More by this Author
I suppose almost everybody has heard the story of the ugly duckling that grew into a beautiful swan. For me, the story holds special significance.
Between 1922 and 1944 there were 221 Our Gang films produced. Out of the 176 actors who participated in the show only a handful gained star status in the comedy series. They became known as The Little Rascals beginning...
Cattle Annie and Little Britches are mostly forgotten in western history, but not in Oklahoma and Indian Territories. There, they were thee two most famous female outlaws ever to strap on a six gun.