Wanting Escapes

- Grab hold and flow -
- Grab hold and flow - | Source

I want you to take over control...

- Impossible -
- Impossible - | Source
- Kiss -
- Kiss - | Source
- Self Embrace - Grip Myself -
- Self Embrace - Grip Myself - | Source

Are you coming with me?

Hey you, your no fool if you say no
ain't it just the way life goes
People fear what they don't know


Layers of locked doors begin to fly open. It is the effect of your passion and your connection releasing me. Awakening and freeing parts of me that lay dormant for such a long time. Having been enclosed for so long, they want to burst free and feed. I can feel desire traveling thru me like ice coursing my warm-blooded veins causing me to burn and shake from within. I tightly grip myself in attempts to restrain it all. I keep fighting. I keep resisting, wanting so much to unleash but knowing that many in this world would not know how to handle me. I was not made for many here. I am misinterpreted. I am feared. It seems it would be my destiny to unleash only to have to implode alone. The risks are great. Maybe it is a control thing for me. It is easy for me to go on day by day with out a want but the idea of wanting and not having is too much for me take right now. Regardless of my logic and my battle from within, I want... It has already started. What lays buried is so powerful when inspired to want.

This world that I was born into is one of games. Sentiments and true intentions are hidden and masked causing everyone to wonder what is meant. People want to be wanted but are frightened when they are. 'It is too fast', they say. 'I do not want anything serious', they mutter while in the safety of their own mind they want to be the only one being pursued. They want all of your attention. In the darkness of the night, they long for no one else's embrace. All in secret, lest they be judged or lose your attention. They play their games and present their sales tactics by doing take aways and using psychology. Meanwhile they torment themselves wondering about where they stand. Every comment is doubted. Every gesture is read into and second guessed. For a world like this, I can be scary. I speak, not to please you or impress you. I speak my truth. Is it too much for you? Tell me your truth.

Under 5% of the male population can attract me. The rare, the unique, the warriors and kings among men who march to their own beat are the ones that catch my attention. Greatness. Loyalty. Strength from within. You. It calls out to me and pulls me near. It possesses my mind and my spirit. I become insatiable. I was not looking either time it found me. It seems I am destined to be found by a hero. Tho time is never a guarantee. I don't worry about your judgement or rejection. I will say what I want. I am beginning to want, uncontrollably. I am losing the ability to contain it. In a lot of ways, I do not want to contain it. I want to unleash it. I want to collapse. I want to dive into you exclusively. I want to loose myself in your waters until I have gone into your depths where few have been. I want to know your core and melt into you. I have no desire to share you. I am fearless in that I would jump in with both feet and live to the fullest. Allow me to. Surrender yourself to me. Invite me in.

What does this mean? What are the risks? I want you to give yourself to me relentlessly, religiously, daily. I want to do everything and absolutely nothing by your side. I have no agenda, no long term wish. Make me your queen. Make me your goddess. You would be rewarded by taking your place as a king. Give me your story. Pour yourself into me without holding anything back. Allow me to collapse into you safely and securely. Guard me, hide me, and keep my passion. Draw strength from me. Restore yourself while restoring me. Resist resistance. Resist the rules. Follow the flow and see where the currents take you. This is fed by our connection. Rest assured that it can only go as far as the current will take us. It is not mundane and not fed by obligation. Do not be bothered with the illusion of the future. Be nourished by the unique fruit that comes from the mixing of passion and honesty. Be my oasis. Be my addiction and feed my addiction without restraint. I ask everything and nothing of you. I ask for everything you are, your very essence, everything that is meaningful and nothing material, nothing forced, nothing fake, nothing rehearsed. The risk to you is not as big as it would seem. No one truly shows who they are for fear of judgement. Release that fear. What I offer you is acceptance. The illusive unconditional that so many want but few are able to accept or offer. The risk to you is your own vulnerability.

I do not search. I have no dreams of Mr. Right. Mr. Right Now is of no use to me. Sex is too easy and does not appeal to me or please me without a connection. I can not feed off of it. It does nothing for me. While easy to find, most willing to press up against me do not fit into my elite collection. They are too normal, too mundane. I will not waste my time or energy on that which would not please me. I do not wish to meet another. I do not plan for things. I have no huge expectations. I do not put myself on a timeline and wish for things like moving in or marriage. I do not treat these things as rights of passage or accomplishments to be checked off of some grand to do list. I don't put limits on things. Those things I have done, i've done because the flow carried me towards it. I did it passionately and am left without any regret no matter the outcome. I have learned that FOREVER is not something that can be promised, I do not ask for these things from you. I am not hard to please and not easy to disappoint. Do not misunderstand me, do not try to read more into things. Resist your human tendencies. You have a doubt, feel free to ask. I want a part of your passion, a part of your story, and a part of your life. Be in the moment with me, exclusively. I want to devour you for as long as the current will carry us. If and when life weighs too heavily for the current to carry us any farther, we would have had an amazing story and ended up in a beautiful place with memories that are ours forever. No regrets. An everlasting bond that may have changed but is never broken. A epic story, beginning, middle, and end without darkness or betrayal. A unique treasure.

As I write this, my wants and desires for you threaten to consume me and overtake me. I grip myself tightly to keep them at bay. If these are gifts you can not give, If you fear surrendering yourself, or if you don't know you are the hero that I see within you it would be best to tell me now that I am still able to battle my own wants and desires. I am still able to attempt to restrain and lock up the parts of me that you have resurrected. No, this is my own vulnerability speaking now. Perhaps it is too late to do so. The path is already laid out before me. That which is deepest within me choses well. The flow has led me thru difficulties before, I will not doubt it. I have no need to know of what you can't do. Time will tell.

More by this Author


Comments 20 comments

writinglover profile image

writinglover 3 years ago from Lost...In Poetry

Awesome! You can just feel the passion in this hub! Again, this is totally awesome! Hope you had a nice Christmas, by the way...! :)


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 3 years ago from Central Florida Author

Thank you for reading it WritingLover. You caught right out of the gate. :) My Christmas' are always great. I still believe in Magic after all. How was yours?


writinglover profile image

writinglover 3 years ago from Lost...In Poetry

Mine was nice. Grandmother and I got invited to a family dinner by some friends. Loved every minute of it!


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 3 years ago from Central Florida Author

That is great WritingLover. Some friends end up closer than family.


Monis Mas profile image

Monis Mas 3 years ago

Very fun to read! I voted awesome!


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 3 years ago from Central Florida Author

Thank you Monis Mas. Very nice to meet you!


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 3 years ago from San Francisco

Great expression. Thank you very much.


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 3 years ago from Central Florida Author

You are very welcome Mhatter. Always a pleasure to be read by you.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

Moms wow I can feel the passion girl I think I could just sit and read you all day...


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 3 years ago from Central Florida Author

You are awesome Frank. I could hang with you all day too. I am so happy that you like the stuff that goes on inside my head, lol.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

yea i do ..hmmm


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 3 years ago from Central Florida Author

I love the hmmm... so many ways to interpret that one. Lol. What is in that hmmm Frank?


tirelesstraveler profile image

tirelesstraveler 3 years ago from California

Glad to hear someone say sex without connection isn't appealing. Hope the healing continues. Voted up and beautiful.


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 3 years ago from Central Florida Author

It is always nice to see you tirelesstraveler. Healing is a funny thing but I am wearing the marks my life has blessed me with well. Thank you for reading, commenting, and voting. You are much appreciated.


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 3 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Dear Mom.. if I only had someone that would make me their queen.. oh how wonderful and heaven that would be.. I love your hub

I am sharing

keep writing

Debbie


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

...thank goodness I am 5% of that exclusive male population - lol - but I must say you are a very exclusive writer. A writer's writer I would say and after I finished reading this (which literally took me away to another world) I picked up my jaw off the floor

sending you warm wishes for your continued health, happiness and prosperity in 2013

lake erie time ontario canada 10:54pm


xstatic profile image

xstatic 3 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

Wow!! I am with epi here. I read this cascading wonder that left me wondering what kind of man could not accept such naked honesty and passion. This is an experience to read, these most inner thoughts you have shared with us.


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 3 years ago from Central Florida Author

Deborah, view yourself as a queen and someone will follow suit I am sure. Thank you so much for coming and enjoying my work. I appreciate you.


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 3 years ago from Central Florida Author

Good morning Epi! Always nice to see you. I am glad that you see yourself clearly as the rare and unique. What a compliment you bestowed upon me... a writer's writer. I will be smiling about that for a very, very long time. I am glad that I was able to take you away tho I hope that your jaw is not bruised... :)

You are awesome and I am sure changing the year won't change that.


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 3 years ago from Central Florida Author

Happy to see you again xstatic! I have to say that I love comments that begin with Wow. What kind of man, you wonder. That seems easy to answer. A fearful one. One that fears getting hurt or failing because they have hurt before or because they feel they have felt failure. Unfortunately there are many and tho I am very petite, I am hugely scary to them. So many are not able to see themselves clearly.

Insightful comment! I love things that make me think.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working