Watching you, missing more!

It breaks my heart watching you,

missing out on the precious moments

we should have been able to do.


Missing you walk across the graduation stage,,

instead your full of tantrums and rage.


Missing you landing that first real job,

instead you sit home feeling as though you’ve been robbed.


Missing you meeting your mister right,

instead your relationships are full of fight.


Missing you being a silly best friend,

instead our relationship ceases to be amend.


Missing you giggle and acting crazy,

instead you stay home, always feeling too lazy.


I’m not so sure if it’s the choices you’ve made that bothers me so,

or the moments I longed for but will never know.


Missing, evanesence

Comments 28 comments

Lori P. profile image

Lori P. 3 years ago from Southern California USA

Oh, I can feel the longing and pain in your words. I'm sorry because this is a hard path to experience. We mothers assume we'll get to enjoy those typical life milestones and markers along the way and when we are sent down different roads, we can't help but miss what might have been, what should have been...

I know a bit about this with my own daughter. Thank you for sharing your feelings and creativity. Your words allowed me to feel what I had been trying not to feel. God bless.


wildove5 profile image

wildove5 3 years ago from Cumberland, R.I. Author

Lori, I am trying to come to terms with my own feelings of anger and frustration and trying to separate where they are coming from. On one hand my heart is filled with love because I have a grandson, but on the other, my daughter has struggled terribly with being a mother and while she adores and loves her son, she fights being a mom. She has made some terrible choices and I fear she will never be the same. Thank you for the kind words, I'm glad I'm not alone. ( we have more in common, my name is Lori as well.)


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

Oh, precious heart, I understand completely. It is so hard on a mother at times in seeing your child (although grown) so very sad and lost, just numb to all, especially when there is a little one in the picture. I know I could not stand the thought of a mother not mentally or physically able to be a mom, for she must love herself first in order to love others no doubt.

My son has full custody of his girls and he is only 25 now, but he had custody of them for around three years now, for their mother placed them in harms' way as she just had gotten lost and it is so sad, very sad for all no doubt.

God bless. Hugs and love, Faith Reaper


Vickiw 3 years ago

Hi Lori, I feel the sadness in your eloquent poem too. I have been incredibly blessed with such a loving and supportive daughter that this makes me feel doubly sad for you. You must be so concerned for your grandchild too. I wish it could be possible for me to help you, but all I can do is tell you you will be in my thoughts and prayers.


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 3 years ago from San Francisco

Beautifully expressed. There are some things we never get over. thank you


DJ Anderson 3 years ago

Lori, you have given an excellent account of many of us who

are missing out on those milestones. It could have been so different. Stubbornness got in the way of common sense.

You showed me, didn't you!!

And, the really sad part is that you had the capacity to set a career in motion, a career that could have made your life less

stressful.

Now, you cannot even provide for yourself much less a family.

Yea, you showed me.


Monis Mas profile image

Monis Mas 3 years ago

This is so beautiful - so real, but also so artistic. And very sad. Voted Beautiful, of course. Great work!


wildove5 profile image

wildove5 3 years ago from Cumberland, R.I. Author

Faith, Thank you for your compassion and understanding. This is such a difficult journey we are on, I guess no one ever did say being a mother was easy!


wildove5 profile image

wildove5 3 years ago from Cumberland, R.I. Author

Vicki, It breaks my heart that she has not been able to enjoy her life fully. I sometimes feel I am just being selfish and angry that she has not only effected her dreams but the dreams I had for her and our relationship. It's hard to explain, But thank you for your kind words!


wildove5 profile image

wildove5 3 years ago from Cumberland, R.I. Author

Mhatter, getting over them will be easier when she is happy and healthy! Thank you for stopping in and reading my poem.


wildove5 profile image

wildove5 3 years ago from Cumberland, R.I. Author

Oh boy DJ , did they show us! I love when we are the ones to blame for all their bad decisions too!

"I could have gotten the job if you didn't have me arrested."

You mean to say, if you hadn't made the choice to break the law you would have gotten the job?

yea, she showed me!! Luv it!


wildove5 profile image

wildove5 3 years ago from Cumberland, R.I. Author

Thank you monis, This is more therapy for me than art, it is the best way and most freeing way I know to keep me from rattling my daughters cage! Thanks for stopping in and the vote!


wayne barrett profile image

wayne barrett 3 years ago from Clearwater Florida

So Sad but true. The older you get, the more you look back and remember people who were such a part of your life and now in some cases, are not in your life at all...just memories. I think it makes you a little more hesitant, less expectant, when you are introduced to new faces that come your way as life goes on.


wildove5 profile image

wildove5 3 years ago from Cumberland, R.I. Author

Thank you wayne! I know for me as I have gotten older the relationships I have hold more meaning than the number of friends I have. I'd rather have a handful of roses than a meadow of dandelions! I hope that makes sense!


Vickiw 3 years ago

Just to let you know, I have been thinking if you so many times since reading this. My heart is with you, and I hope your daughter will manage to come back to you sooner than later.


wildove5 profile image

wildove5 3 years ago from Cumberland, R.I. Author

Vicki, you are one of the reasons I share my work here! The support and love I feel here is sometimes overwhelming. It's nice when someone notices your work and leaves a comment or a thumbs up vote, but the best part is when someone reaches out to remind you your feelings are real and your not alone! Thanks for thinking of me, your words and support have made me feel better!


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

wildove5,

Oh it breaks my heart that to hear things are still this way. It's almost hard to stop and comment what a beautiful poem you've written because I know you're broken heart provided your inspiration. Hey, I know you're beautiful... she is too; as hard as it is, just try to hang in there. Your love will never go away and neither will hers... I have faith in both of you.

Hugs sweetie!

Cat


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

Hi, this is such a beautiful and poignant poem, I can't begin to know what you feel, but I do hope your daughter finds her way back to you, take care, nell


Anna Haven profile image

Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

Your poem was really sad but beautifully written. I am sorry to hear things haven't changed yet and I really hope things turn around soon for your family. Sending you positive thoughts and love.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

My dear beautiful friend - what a lovely but poignant ode to motherhood and because my own mum was my best friend your words affected me quite deeply so it will be my pride and honor to post and link your pure poetic words on my FB page for all to see and read - I have more to say but I will send this comment first at lake erie time ontario canada 12:40am and I am so very happy to see you performing your magic again and doing some creative writing


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

I am so very sorry you had a rough night at work , well, lol, I have them too.

Please let me give you a virtual hug and know that I care about your feelings - off now to post your main/intro hub page to my FB page - let me do that and I shall return ....


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

It's amazing isn't how fast this summer seems to be going so fast- are we getting older - or better? It was so very nice to see you just now on my humble little hubpage and believe me you picked up my spirits and mood too with your regal presence and I was so glad to come over here and read this glorious piece from you and I love the title - it is a title to die for , as a writer, how are you feeling my friend these days? Please let me know and I am sending you sincere good wishes for your health and happiness and prosperity and also three big Canadian hugs from Colin, Little Miss Tiffy and Mister Gabriel at lake erie time ontario canada 12:50am while listening to some music videos by Johnny Cash and Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds ..... both cats are outside and loving the good life of freedom courtesy of their daddy


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

Back in from sitting outside on my deck with my cat Gabriel where the night air is cooler now but there's a clear sky over the lake and absolutely no wind at all.

It was so nice to spend some precious quality time with you tonight and please keep up with your creative writing because it's special like you and the next time you have a crappy night at work - I will be right there with you in spirit as Johnny Paycheck singing Take this job and shove it


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

....which is why I play the lottery , well it's entertainment, lol, and tonight's jackpot was a cool $3.5 million tax free. Are you available for dinner in the destination of your choice?


wildove5 profile image

wildove5 3 years ago from Cumberland, R.I. Author

Dearest Collin, You are a special, special man! You have no idea how powerful your words are. There has been a thin layer of ice that has taken up residence around my delicate heart as of late. There isn't much that can be done to crack through to the warmth it once held, yet your eloquent words and wishes seem to have caused it to spring a small leak! If I could find a way to escape all that troubles me I'd wish to find you on that crystal lake and wrap my arms around you and just hold on until all my worries melt away and run into the lake. You are such a wise man and I am troubled with decisions and journey's that I will soon have to partake, perhaps if it is ok, could I bend your ear privately for some advice? I certainly do not want to interrupt your time with 'the cash' or your kitties, but I so need your wisdom! So when you have a moment feel free to e-mail me at wildove5@yahoo.com...thank you Collin!


wildove5 profile image

wildove5 3 years ago from Cumberland, R.I. Author

The power ball jackpot tonight is estimated to be 290,000,000. With that kind of money I will buy you lake eerie and make sure your kitties have crystal bowls and caviare to dine on for the remainder of their day's.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

Hello Lori and good evening and just checking in with you on this Sunday night at lake erie time 11:44pm and listening to Moby and I am wondering if you had a better night at work. It was great hanging out with you last night and I hope my advice was of some assistance to you - I haven't checked my lottery numbers yet because as long as I don't check them I am still not a loser, lol, and it gives me more time to dream , lol lol

Let me know how you are feeling and sending you warm wishes from the three of us , Colin, Tiffy and Gabriel


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

Hello Lori you must be a mind reader, lol, 'cos I am listening to my vinyl album collection tonight and currently playing is the classic Surf's Up album by the Beach Boys.

And the full moon is over the lake too. I've been without a car lately and have missed some work time as I live out here in the country a hour's drive away ..... I am sincerely hoping all is well in your life right now and I am always here to talk as I know you are for me - love and hugs from the three of us Colin, Tiffy and Gabriel at lake erie time 10:15pm

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