Well-Defined Torso (Cheap Wig)

Well-Defined Torso (Cheap Wig)
Well-Defined Torso (Cheap Wig) | Source

I truly must compliment my next-door neighbor on his well-defined torso (though its not quite the six-pack-ab sort of definition that gets one noticed by all the young hotties at the beach!). I think it may be his perpetual habit of donning cheap pastel-colored polyester knit polos a size or two too small that gives that glorious jiggling gut such clear delineation while minimally controlling its jello-y motion.

And the cheesy crinkled and shrunken harem pants and gaudy flip-flops exposing dirty toes don’t do a heck of a lot for his sartorial splendor, either.

Thank goodness he’s remembered to slip a cheez-doodle-orange froth of curls onto his bare billiard dome before leaving the house. He looks like nothing so much as the demented pedophilic uncle of that little orphan girl of comics pages past.

Ouch! My eyes are burning. 

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