Western Short Story - Dogtown

Dogtown


“Who the hell is that?”

The stranger walked his big bay slowly down the street, sitting upright in the saddle. He was a handsome enough man, but there was a hint of cruelty in his face. He carried a brace of pistols, one on his right hip and one shoved down in his waistband. He wore a flat-brimmed black hat, with a red kerchief at his throat. There was an jagged white scar on his face, running down his right cheek, probably an old knife wound. His horse and outfit spoke of money, far more money than an ordinary cowhand could afford. He looked like trouble.

“Looks like he could be that Cleavey Rhingold feller, the Missouri gunfighter. He’s supposed to be in these parts. I have a circular on him in the Post Office, but he ain’t wanted in the Territory.”

The speaker was Frank Warren, the postmaster. The other man was Chinese Bob, who wasn’t Chinese at all, but ran the local laundry where several Chinese worked. They were standing in the shade of a giant cottonwood, in front of the blacksmith shop. Bob rubbed his hands and spoke again.

“Wonder what he’s doin’ in Dogtown? Ain’t no bank to rob.”

“Ain’t no marshal to kill neither. We don’t have one.”

“Don’t need one. This here is a quiet town.”

The two men glanced at each other and smiled.

Frank Warren shrugged his thin shoulders. “Well, the stage came in and I have mail to sort. I’ll check that Rhingold flier again. See you Chinese.”

The stranger wheeled his horse to the rail in front of the Whistle Stop saloon, and tied off. He mounted the steps to the board walk and pulled off his gloves, looking carefully around. He pulled off his hat and beat some of the dust off his clothes. Satisfied, he pushed open the batwing doors and stepped into the cool interior.

Seth Reynolds looked up from behind the bar. The stranger looked like a hard case, but he’d seen plenty of hard cases in his time. He wiped a glass with his towel and examined the shine. Over the back bar, the ticking clock read just after one in the afternoon. The saloon was empty except for him and the hard case. Somewhere a dog barked lazily and someone down the street was working a noisy pump for water.

Heavy boots sounded on the wooden floor, and Seth looked up into a pair of cold gray eyes. Cleavey Rhingold, leaned on the heavily varnished bartop and studied the bartender.

“I’ll have a beer.”

Reynolds filled a mug from the tap, and when it came time to put a head on it, he looked at Rhingold with questioning eyes. The man nodded, and he added the head with a practiced flourish. He set the beer in front of his lone customer.

“That’ll be a nickel.”

Cleavey Rhingold fished a coin out of his vest and tossed it on the counter. Seth Reynolds punched keys on the register and dropped the coin in the drawer.

“Quiet town.”

“Yeah, mostly ranches. There’s a few prospectors down by the creek, but that’s some lean and hard scrabble work. There’s some fifteen feet of overburden just to get to bedrock.”

He paused and wiped at the counter.

“There’s some logging up on the mountain, but they keep to themselves mostly. They come down for barn dances and such, but that ain’t often.”

“I didn’t see a bank?”

“Don’t have one. Folks keep their own money. They don‘t trust banks.”

“Who’s the law around here?”

“Ain’t got any. Closest is the US Marshal, but we ain’t seen him in two years.”

Rhingold nodded, sizing up the situation. This was a plum, ripe for picking. He decided he’d be staying the night after all.

“What kind of whiskey you serve?”

“Just the one…rye. A drummer brings it by once a month. It ain’t bad.”

“I’ll take a shot, and another beer to chase it.”

Cleavey Rhingold gulped his whiskey and grimaced, following it quickly with his beer.

“Hell, that’s there’s rotgut!’

“It’s all I have.”

“Well, let’s have another and a chaser.”

An hour and three shots later, Rhingold pushed a silver dollar at Seth Reynolds.

“Think I’ll take a turn about the town. See what I can scare up!”

He grinned wolfishly, winking at Reynolds.

“Well, best be careful,” replied the bartender. “This here’s a tough town.”

Rhingold smirked and stepped through the batwing doors. To his utter astonishment, the first face he saw was Becky Thurston. She saw him at the same moment and gasped.

Three years earlier, Becky Thurston had left him standing at the altar in Missouri. She had reluctantly agreed to marry him after he had pressured her for months, but had learned at the last minute that he was suspected of murdering three men and a woman in Iowa. She had quickly packed what few belongings she had as a young schoolteacher, and had disappeared, leaving him in a packed church, embarrassed and humiliated. Now she was standing in front of him, her face pale and frightened. Behind her stood several schoolchildren, eyes wide and looking from one to the other, wondering what was happening.

“You got this coming , Becky.”

Cleavey Rhingold grabbed her by the throat of her dress and slapped her hard, twice.

“Leave her be, Mister.”

A small girl with pigtails who looked to be about ten years old had stepped away from the other children, and into the street. She was wearing a dress made from a feed sack.

“Shut up kid.”

Cleavey Rhingold turned back to Becky, who was sobbing and bleeding from her upper lip.

“I said leave her be.”

It was the pigtailed girl again, and in her hands was an unwavering, .41 caliber, double-barreled Derringer with the hammer eared back.

Cleavey Rhingold looked at her and sneered.

“Hell, you ain’t nothin’ but a child.”

The girl’s eyes narrowed slightly and she pulled the trigger. Cleavey Rhingold felt the bullet slam into his chest and he stared at the girl in horror. He watched stupidly as she pulled back on the hammer and fired the remaining barrel, again hitting him in the chest.

He was lying on his back in the hot dust of the street. A tall, gaunt man had his shirt open and was looking at his chest. He could feel the blood running down his side.

“Are you a doctor?” He was surprised at the weakness in his voice.

“Who, me? No, I’m a barber. I’m also the undertaker, and from the looks of those wounds, you’ll be needing my services in a few minutes. Hell, you could cover both shots with a silver dollar. That’s some shooting!”

Bewildered at the suddenness of it all, Cleavey Rhingold rolled his head to the side and saw the bartender, Seth Reynolds, staring down at him.

“I’ve been shot and killed by a damn kid, barkeep!” His head was rolling from side to side in disbelief, as his eyes began to dim..

Seth Reynolds spat in the dust and nodded his head.

“Well sir, it’s like I warned you. This here is a tough town.”

More by this Author


Comments 100 comments

JGoul profile image

JGoul 5 years ago

Not bad. Careful with the dialogue, though. If you're going to use dialogue to tell the audience background information (i.e., quiet town, no marshall) you have to be careful to make sure it sounds natural. It's difficult, because often your characters wouldn't say what you want to tell your readers, because all the characters already know the information.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Well, thanks for the education, JGoul.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 5 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

Woweee... yet again I can imagine it may have been/was very much like that at one time...Nice write...:O) Hugs G-Ma

P>S> I don't know...I think he was giving a very fair warning so the man thought he had it easy in a town without all those things...times are what they are...but that is my opinion and I am not the writer you are...:O) Me again G-Ma


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, G-Ma Johnson!


Old Poolman profile image

Old Poolman 5 years ago from Rural Arizona

The way I read it, the bartender knew this was a bad hombre, and said what he said to make him more vulnerable. But that is just the way my mind put it together and it worked great for me.


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

I like the dialogue and the pace.I also like the ironic end line. The little girl is also a nice touch.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi Mike.

Many of the towns had no law. They handled it themselves.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, dahoglund, and thank you!


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

I had no problem with the story Will.Great job,I enjoyed it.;)


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Mentalist acer,

Everyone's a critic! :-)

Thank you, as always.


FitnezzJim profile image

FitnezzJim 5 years ago from Fredericksburg, Virginia

Good story, I had to go back and read it two extra times too. Suspecting a case of poetic justicem I was trying ot dig out details about the little girl and the schoolteacher becasue I'd developed the suspicion the girl was Becky's daughter, or somehow related to the family in Iowa. But then, I saw the phrase 'three years earlier'. You know the story is good when you find yourself seeking details on what you suspect but was not said.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

Will, this is a great story. One of the most difficult things for a writer to do is entice a reader. As you well know, there are some effective ways to do so. I would have agreed with the person that left the first comment if not for the title of your story - Western SHORT STORY - Dogtown. A short story is not a novel, where you purposely take time to unfold the characters and background information. "Short story" says it all.

Also, this isn't some modern story. It is a different time in history and, in my opinion, written as such to transport the reader into that other time. You did so in a highly effective way. The first full paragraph is key to getting the reader to go further. The description of Cleavey was excellent.

Moreover, you kept the reader guessing and wanting to know more. I figured Cleavey was going to rob the town dry, shoot Seth for trying to protect the town and then beat Frank for having a circular with his image.

And of course, your ending was far different from what I expected, which is thrilling for the reader as well as thought-provoking. Your story started, unfolded and ended in a way that kept my attention throughout.

Just my thoughts (by the way, you didn't just start writing yesterday)! Two thumbs way up and hooray for the girl with the pigtails!


marellen 5 years ago

Another great read, Will...I enjoyed it....Great ending...


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, FitnezzJim! Thanks for reading. Actually, I left a sentence out, if you want to read it again.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Dexter Yarbrough!

As I told Jim, I realized I left a key sentence out. I was conveying a certain sinister quality to Dogtown. The citizens viewed criminals like a spider views a fly. :-)


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, marellen, and thank you!


Nan Mynatt profile image

Nan Mynatt 5 years ago from Illinois

This is a story of a broken heart melody! All because of a women. Kids carry guns now days, at the age of 6 some have brought them to school. They didn't have TV then, I guess it was feelings. Excellent protrayal of the facts leading up to death and surprise.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Nan Mynatt!

In the old west, lots of kids carried guns to school, and they all carried knives. It was a way of life, but completely different from today's way of thinking.

There were no school shootings. They wouldn't have dreamed of it.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Hooray for the kid, Will. That's what I call Western spunk. Great short story. Maybe we'll read more about the pig-tailed protagonist? Whatcha think?


Truckstop Sally profile image

Truckstop Sally 5 years ago

Don't mess with a teacher! Good story!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, drbj!

In the old west, many towns were downright dangerous for outlaws, as the Dalton boys found out when they tried to rob the banks in Coffeyville, Kansas. :-)


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Truckstop Sally!

Exactly, especially when that teacher is adored by a pigtailed little girl, armed with a Derringer and a sense of duty.


Becky 5 years ago

Fantastic short story. You gave people what they needed to know and then with a short swing, gave us the one-two punch. Good ending, made us want more of your writing.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Becky (I've always loved that Mark Twain name!) and thank you!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago

Great Bed time Story WillStarr, and now that I've finished it, I'm going to bed, and dream this one again! Two Thumbs up!


diogenes profile image

diogenes 5 years ago from UK and Mexico

Hi Will. Nice to be told off about your writing by a 25-year-old unemployed bloke with a self-confessed drinking problem. He has also been on HP just 2 weeks and has written ten (short) articles. I mean JGoul.

Seems like any riff-raff can write and criticize on here now...Bob


Fossillady profile image

Fossillady 5 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

Wow, Will...the good guys won! Geeze, the first comment was kinda harsh. I don't know what he's talking about! I couldn't find a thing wrong with your story and enjoyed it very much!


aguasilver profile image

aguasilver 5 years ago from Malaga, Spain

If I had your depth of knowledge about the old west, I would be looking to write for Hollywood, if you did, you could bring about a revival of the Western on your own!

As for criticism, like the line goes...

Modern art = I could do that = Yeah, but you didn't!

Another great read, nice twist in the tail, thanks for making my day!

John


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, b. Malin, and thank you! Sweet dreams.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, diogenes, and you're right! But we all knew everything at 25. :-)


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Fossillady!

The good guys always win...one way or another!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, John,

I see a couple of other Hubbers writing westerns now!


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 5 years ago from Arizona

Will, great tale, hooked me and entertained right to the end, and damned if I don't live in the old west!

PT Barnum once said there's a jgoul born every minute.

Heard this?

An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon to clear his parched throat. He walked up and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?" The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet.

The old prospector --not wanting to get a toe blown off-- started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?" The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir..... but... I've

always wanted to."

Lessons for youngsters?

Never be arrogant.

Don't waste ammunition.

Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.

Always, always make sure you know who has the power.

Don't mess with old men, they didn't get old by being stupid.

Dust


aguasilver profile image

aguasilver 5 years ago from Malaga, Spain

Can't help but see you holdin' that shotgun Dusty!

John


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 5 years ago from Arizona

John, I'd be the feller to do it, Ha!, love ya bro, dust


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

What a great old story, Dusty!


TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 5 years ago from Tucson, Az.

I'm tellin ya, that's one tough ass town! Damn, I'd hate to see what happened if you pissed off the bartender!

You're the best Will.

jim


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Jim, and yes, it was a tough town! :-)


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 years ago from Jamaica

Another good one Will, I like the build up. You know the west better than I do so I can't find anything wrong with the dialogue and the story. I loved it! I loved the twist, the child defending Becky.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Cardisa, and thank you!


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

This is so incredibly cool. I knew something was up when Frank and Chinese Bob grinned at one another. I never guessed it would be a child. And I love the spunk in that little girl. If we cajole, maybe we will get a sequel or two and find out more about her, Becky, the Chinese workers and even how Cleavey got that scar.

Just an all around great story WillStarr.


A.A. Zavala profile image

A.A. Zavala 5 years ago from Texas

Another enthralling short story. Wish we could work these tales into a series so that there would be something worth while to watch on TV. Awesome!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Hyphenbird, and yes, Frank and Chinese Bob were not impressed by a bad man. The whole town was meaner than he was, including the children!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, A.A. Zavala,

I think a western series ought to have a new story, a new locale, and new characters each week, just to keep it believable!

For instance, someone went back and figured out that the 'peace-loving' Cartwright family of Bonanza killed over a thousand people in the years that it ran...hardly believable!


lilyfly 5 years ago

I love reading your stuff, it washes the nasty out of my mouth concerning the modern world, thanks Will, lily


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, lilyfly, and thank you!


Cogerson profile image

Cogerson 5 years ago from Virginia

Another winner WillStarr...very well written....never judge a book by its cover....voted up


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Cogerson!


writer20 profile image

writer20 5 years ago from Southern Nevada

Take no notice of JGoul this is another great story. I just wish I could write interesting stories like you. If you ever get to Las Vegas and to do a writing workshop let me know.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Hello Will. I see you gather all of Hubville when you post a Western Story. Well done.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, writer20, and thank you!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, mckbirdbks, and what a nice thing to say!


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX

Ah yes, the days when there was no 911 to call.

Great work Will.

The Frog


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, The Frog Prince!


suziecat7 profile image

suziecat7 5 years ago from Asheville, NC

Your first commenter said "not bad". He was right - it wasn't bad, it was good!! You did it again and I loved that the little girl was brave enough to defend her teacher. Also I should have caught the two friends smiling at each other when they said "quiet town". Loved it.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, suziecat7!

Some of the old western towns actually were that tough.

Glad you liked it!


writeronline 5 years ago

Hi WillStarr, another powerful tale (imho), I love the way that all your stories have a strong moral thread.

Of course, it's up to the reader to identify that thread, and as we've seen from your first commenter, not all readers have the life experience, or just plain smarts, to do that.

For myself, although the ending was, as always, an unexpected twist, the whole subtlety and tone was perfectly set (as you'd intended) by the early dialogue between Chinese Bob and Frank Warren:

“Wonder what he’s doin’ in Dogtown? Ain’t no bank to rob.”

“Ain’t no marshal to kill neither. We don’t have one.”

“Don’t need one. This here is a quiet town.”

The two men glanced at each other and smiled.'

If your overconfident critic had the smarts he wants you to believe he has, he'd have recognised that as perfectly plausible chat between two worldly-wise guys who know they're looking at trouble, but are quietly amused at the knowledge that this particular 'trouble' won't be any harder to deal with than all the trouble that's come and gone before. That's why they don't need a marshal.

I'm really only labouring the point because I'm hoping JGoul will drop by and read the many comments you've received that would help him to learn, and I wanted to add my voice to those.

There's a couple of great observations here about age and wisdom. To remind us old guys that the brash confidence of youth isn't a recent phenomenon, I've always liked:

"To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid"

Cheers


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, writeronline and thank you!

To be perfectly fair to JGoul, this sentence was somehow omitted when I first pasted the story:

"The two men glanced at each other and smiled."

On the other hand, if you visit his site, he does have it in for the wisdom that comes from age. I'm guessing that forty years from now, he'll see it my way! :-)


Maggie-May profile image

Maggie-May 5 years ago from the Island of Cape Breton to the Eastern Shores near Halifax, NS

Will, this is awesome....a tough town..who would've guessed--you had me until the end, awesome!!!


QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 5 years ago

And the Guiness Book of World Records for 'The most Western style stories' goes to...

Drum Roll...

WillStarr!! :p


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Maggie-May, and thank you as always!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, QudsiaP1. I hope you liked it.


CreateSquidoo profile image

CreateSquidoo 5 years ago

Good thing you wrote it using dialogs instead of narrating it. At least you got my attention! Great story by the way. :)

Kind regards


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, CreateSquidoo, and thank you!


QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 5 years ago

I did like it, WillStarr.

I enjoyed the 'to the point' conversation. :P


thougtforce profile image

thougtforce 5 years ago from Sweden

I am never disappointment when I visit your corner. In fact, I get the good feeling immediately when I start reading them and even though I expect a twist I never see it until the end. Thanks for sharing your great short stories! And I admire the people who may have lived in such a town like this- Dogtown!

Tina


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Tina!


quester.ltd profile image

quester.ltd 5 years ago

like the girl - the town and reading your stories

thanks

q


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, quester.ltd!


DIANE 5 years ago

ALWAYS A GOOD READ. I THINK THE LITTLE GIRL SHOULD BECOME THE NEW

SHERIFF! NO ONE WOULD EVER GUESS. THANKS WILL.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Diane, and thank you!


vietnamvet68 profile image

vietnamvet68 5 years ago from New York State

good story Will, the tough old days where even kids carried guns and were really good shots.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Steve, and thank you!


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

..maybe you should go over, Sir Will, and educate JGOUL, lol lol - because as far as I'm concerned there are all of the other writers at the Hub - and then there's WILL STARR - and it's not just because there's a pretty little lady in your profile picture .... and a handsome dude!!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi Epi!

I think he was just bored. :-)


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Will,

All silly comments aside, this is top notch! Gotta love the name of the town... Voted UP & AWESOME, mar.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, marcoujor, and thank you!


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana

Will, not only is this a great story, but I am awe struck at your descriptive style of writing...such as "Somewhere a dog barked lazily and someone down the street was working a noisy pump for water"...all of this really sets the tone of this town. You always make it easy for my mind to set a vivid picture of what you are writing about.

again, AWESOME! and as always...just plain fun to read.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, CMerritt, and thank you sir!


sofs profile image

sofs 5 years ago

Great story, well told with a twist to end it in style. The pace is wonderful and the end is quick.. Cheers !!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, sofs, and thank you!


SubRon7 profile image

SubRon7 5 years ago from eastern North Dakota

A little behind in my reading, WillStarr, but this story more than made up for it. Great work, Will! I loved it. The photo at the beginning reminds me of old Jessie James photos.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, SubRon7!

Glad you liked it!


dearabbysmom profile image

dearabbysmom 5 years ago from Indiana

Will, like CMerritt, I love the descriptions that bring your stories alive. The stranger, the town...the reader feels like they are right in the middle of it. I hope you write a story giving us the scoop on this girl's story. Is she one of the reasons the two men glanced at each other and smiled? Had she done this kind of thing before? Love this!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, dearabbysmom!

The men were smiling because it was a tough town and they weren't impressed by a 'bad man'.


feenix profile image

feenix 5 years ago

Will, wow, what a great story. You really do have a knack for coming up with surprise endings.

And a couple of the "scary cats" who visit my comment section need to read this story. They have recently commented that we, the people, are no match for the federal government, so we should tread carefully.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi feenix,

A few rag-tag rebels in Iraq held off and nearly defeated the US military, so I don't want anyone to tell me that a hundred million armed Americans are harmless!

In any case, what makes the left think the military would be on THEIR side?


feenix profile image

feenix 5 years ago

Will, excellent point and I'm going to borrow that one from you.

Now that I think about, I believe that right about now, the military would be on the side of the people if there were some kind of a resurrection.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

The left likes to think that they could use the military against citizens who won't do what the left wants.

Wrong!


feenix profile image

feenix 5 years ago

Will, yes, they certainly are wrong.

For one thing, the left does not ever show the military any respect and during recent years, it has been burdening the Armed Forces with all kinds of stupid demands such as "making way for gays" and placing females in command of POW facilities.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

I don't know how many times I've heard a liberal threaten the right by declaring that they must submit to liberalism or face the military.

Loons.


feenix profile image

feenix 5 years ago

Will, technically, Hitler's NAZIs were liberals.

Identical to today's American liberals, the NAZIs were socialists who thought they knew what was best for the people.

And also like today's American liberals, the NAZIs did such things as establish and enforce strict gun-control laws, determine which human beings had a "right to life" and which ones did not, and weigh down major corporations with loads of regulations and mandates.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hitler is held up by the left as a far right conservative, although he was nothing of the sort.

Yes, he was a socialist, and although he was responsible for millions of murders, he was a creampuff compared to Stalin and that champion of murdering champions, Chairman Mao, both of whom were also leftists.


feenix profile image

feenix 5 years ago

Will, your comment caused a light bulb to flash over my head. Some entity should establish a socialist-left-wing-liberal hall of fame. For starters, it could have such inductees as Marx, Engel, Lenin, Stalin, Hitler, Leonard Bernstein, Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, Mao, Castro, Ho Chi Minh, Bill and Hillary Clinton, Barack and Michelle Obama, Barbra Streisand, Jane Fonda and Whoopi Goldberg.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Well, you're an entity!


feenix profile image

feenix 5 years ago

Yes, I am, aren't I.


Ghost32 5 years ago

ROFLMAO!

Will, I needed a but-gusting laugh tonight, what with the Monument fire still cooking and me working on a fairly serious bit of writing--and this page sure enough delivered!

Oh, the Hub itself was awesome. No question about that. Your ten year old girl shootist reminded me of my first important kill, also when I was ten. Drilled a coiled diamondback dead center (nah, didn't shoot off the head, that being better done with shotguns or in stories) with my Dad's 1917 Smith & Wesson in .45 long Colt caliber.

Of course, it's that second shot that scared me about that girl. The first one from the .45 had enough recoil to make my arms shake too much to hit the side of the barn with the second round.

Ah, but the comments! Some of those are CLASSIC! For example:

"Well, thanks for the education, JGoul." (*loses control, falls off chair, still can't quit laughing*)

Okay, better stop here. Think I split a dang gut.

Um...am I the only one posting here besides you and Dusty who "get it" that it's not about the pigtailed girl--that if she hadn't been handy to shoot the fool, one of the eight-year-old kids would have done the job?


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi Fred!

You got it...when a bad guy has to worry about ten year old girls, he's in a tough town!


marshacanada profile image

marshacanada 5 years ago from Vancouver BC

You have so many great stories its hard to decide which one I like best. The little girl with pigtails reminds me of Pippy Longstockings.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi marshacanada, and thank you!

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working