The Jeremy Kyle Show, A Poem: What Ever !!..


Lock up the dogs and cats

Hold on to your hats

Join the morning combat

With the king of crap chat

It's the daily dose of trash

Heated, repeated and rehash

Voyeurism, like a car crash

Accusations and retaliations, bang, clash

He is the master of sleaze

So take your seats, please;

Watch him cajole and tease

Trading Insults with ease

He is Jeremy Kyle

No pervader of style

He charms he beguile

He revel in bile

Meet my auntie flora

She likes a little extra

She stole her sister's fellah

And pissed off to Marbella

Anna's lived in lover

Drinks hard, he's never sober

Had a dalliance with sexy Ginger

But he could not remember

Smoky Joe grew his own

Until he had his cover blown

In Brixton jail he kissed Tyrone

When he got home his bird had flown

In big brass bed he knew so well

His babe in midst of passion yell

Her words of love rang clear as bell

It hit Joe like an exploding shell

'Twas not for joe she cried amore

It was another she adore

Her lover in full flow swore

And homey bro, did the dirty on Joe

DNA for Fred, apple of his eyes, is Nell

His only child, tears began to well

In a heated fight, her mother tell

She's not your child, she's Noel's

So come back soon, stay awhile

Catch the suave Mr Jeremy Kyle

Love him, hate him, he'll open your eyes

Your hard earned tax funds this dysfunctional lifestyle

Some more funny poems by tobusiness

  • The Maid in Splendour
  • Big Jock; A Limerick
  • The Student Nurse; A Limerick

Do you watch the Jeremy Kyle Show?

See results without voting

More by this Author

Comments 20 comments

tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 12 months ago from Bedfordshire, U.K Author

Ranger, thank you for stopping by, much appreciated. Yes, the program have come a long way since I wrote this. It's good to see that help is on hand for those who need it.

Ranger 12 months ago

I love Jeremy Kyle. He has such a great way with his guests and really does help them with his honest approach.

tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 4 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K Author

Michelle, these shows are interesting when they're first aired, but pretty soon we realize that they only show the worse in human nature.

midget38 profile image

midget38 4 years ago from Singapore

Sleaze is quite hard to stomach for some, like myself. But as you say, like him, hate him, he sure is popular!! I don't have this show screened here in Singapore, but am sure that is quite sleazy, something that gets attention, like it or not! A fun write, Tobusiness, and clever. All my votes!

tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 4 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K Author

Gypsy, thank you for the comment and for stopping by. Unfortunately there is still a lot of people who enjoy seeing others make a fool of themselves, I believe the show is now doing well in America.

Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

The poem was a joy and delight to read. On this side of the world however we do not have this show and I don't really watch much TV.

tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 4 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K Author

Kashmir, I'm afraid this is one to miss, it shows only the worse side of the human character.

Thank you for stopping by, all my best.

kashmir56 profile image

kashmir56 4 years ago from Massachusetts

Great and very cleverly written poem ! I don't watch much TV so i don't know who Jeremy Kyle is.

Well done and vote up and more !!!

tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 4 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K Author

I so sorry for being a kill joy, just had to inject a little reality check at the end. Hope I didn't spoil for you. Thank you for the visit and comment, always appreciated.

tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 4 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K Author

ggirishpuri, thank you for stopping by and for the comment. You are far bbetter off for not having seen this particular show, it not one we are proud of. Best wishes to you.

tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 4 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K Author

Frank, Many thanks for the visit and the very colorful comment :) so glad you liked it.

girishpuri profile image

girishpuri 4 years ago from NCR , INDIA

Although i have never seen this show,What all , i can say a great write, voted up.

ImKarn23 profile image

ImKarn23 4 years ago

I was giggling like a loon right up until this: "Your hard earned tax funds this disfunctional lifestyle"...

other than that last sentence - hilarious - sounds like Jerry Springer II

Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton

tobusiness I freakin loved this!

tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 4 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K Author




Thank you all for stopping by, some of the stuff on this show are beyond understanding. Yes, it's a take on the old Jerry Springer show, there is an attempt to make it a bit more acceptable by toning down the violence and offering help.

I watched the program when it first started but now, it just angers me.

Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 4 years ago from San Francisco

First the poem; it is great. good job. TV... I can only watch for less than 7 minutes,

Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

It has always just amazed me that people will go a national tv and tell all their stuff, for the LOVE of money - the root of all evil. How very sad that people must resort to such and care not! Great write. I have never seen this show, and would never care to see it. In His Love, Faith Reaper

ChristyWrites profile image

ChristyWrites 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

LOL I have not seen the show and can not believe the head butt in the video! Reminds me a little of Jerry Springer's show.. Witty poem you have written though!

tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 4 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K Author

Billy it's a case of too many young people claiming social benefits sitting at home drinking alcohol and smoking 'the herb' becoming paranoid they end up on TV in glorious colors.

This particular show make a point of trying to give some help, I don't know how real it is. A good reason for taking the box down to the charity shop I guess. Thank you for dropping by, always nice to see you.

All my best

billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

I was tempted to laugh at this, but then I realized that this show is for real. Since I don't have a tv I have never heard of this gentleman, but his show is very similar to other sleaze shows I have seen over the years, and I find them very sad to watch. Anyway, your poem was very clever and I agree completely...this is sleaze, pure and simple.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

    Click to Rate This Article