What I Cannot Control - Prose


My helplessness
Is not in my mortality
But from my beating heart
Which tells me of the reality
That I walk at someone’s behest
I cannot make it stop or start
I hope it remembers what to do
For I am unable to impart
Any sense of who I am
Or what I feel
Onto its rhythmic
Turn of the wheel
And when I look closely
And see the fiery sun
I feel the same fear
Just like the one
Over my hearts life
And I wonder how
I can live
As I do now
And did long ago
With joy
And heartbreak
And now a man from a boy
I wait for the final beat
And the final ray
Of my life
Will it be today?
How will I ever know
On that day
When what I cannot control
Chooses what to do or say
And in the moment after
These questions
Will no longer matter
Nor will the suggestions
Of how I should live my life
In preparation for the sun
And my heart
To decide their work is done

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Comments 9 comments

tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 5 years ago from North Carolina

This is sad but it is very beautiful. It is such a dark reality that we all face, yet no one discusses. Well done!

YvetteParker profile image

YvetteParker 5 years ago from AUGUSTA, GA

Thanks for sharing. Reminds us of how fragile life is and not to take it, anything, or anyone for granted. Voted up!

Sollers 5 years ago

Incredible, old friend, as usual!

raciniwa profile image

raciniwa 5 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

letting go is an important of aspect of life, but it's difficult to abide if it starts careening downhill...

what an awesome poem!!!

The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

I appreciate all you saying such kind things to me about this poem. It's wierd how this works. I was sitting there last night thinking that I was experiencing true writers block. I've gone through a stretch in the past two years where topics and ideas were appearing in my mind constantly. Anyway I was on Yahoo and noticed a story about a comet that apparently went into the sun. Supposedly this is a rare thing because usually the sun's heat vaporizes things if they get too close. But then I started looking closely at the picture of the sun and it dawned on me all over again how this thing out there is so important to us and it burns like crazy and we worship it but we have no control over it. It just does what it does. Then I started thinking about how my heart beats regardless of what I do during the day. Again, it just does what it does... so out came the poem....

moiragallaga profile image

moiragallaga 5 years ago from Lisbon, Portugal

Another gem of a poem from the Suburban Poet, I enjoyed reading this. It is very touching and beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

wow excellent your poetry is awesome.. i really enjoy reading...thank you so much for sharing.. i voted way up.


WannaB Writer profile image

WannaB Writer 5 years ago from Templeton, CA

A great reminder that we do not control our own destinies. There are many things over which we have no control.

The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

@moira, Deborah and WannaB - Ya'll really are too nice to me. I truly appreciate how faithful you are in reading my work. I smile everytime I see your commments appear. Yes WannaB it is a reminder that much in life is beyond our control. I need to enjoy life more and not worry about this stuff....

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