What I Don't Miss About Bachelorhood
As fun as the single life may have been at times I certainly don't miss it. Sure, there was the freedom and opportunity to make quick (and often bad) decisions. I can think back to some wild times and adventures, but for me, the grass is a just a perfect shade of green over here on this side.
I've never been the coolest customer. I can't use a pick up line without laughing and I'm not smooth whle saying one thing and meaning another. I like being a husband and hopefully my wife doesn't mind being married to a goofball.
I haven't been married for that long, but I love it. I have a feeling that I will love it for a long time. I'm sure people out there that have been married for many years may tell me I have a lot to learn, which is true, but besides loving my wife, which is the most important reason, I do have a few other reasons, such as:
No more awkward first dates.
How exciting it is. You meet a girl and you ask her out. You pick her up for a special night. At dinner, it’s just the two of you, you bear through the clumsy small talk and hope there’s no spinach in your teeth. Later, the two of you go to a movie and sit in the dark without talking, but at least this gives you something to discuss afterswards. Sure, not all first dates are this stiff, but nevertheless dinner and a movie are usually the go to plans when you've got nothing else going. There is the group date option. You and some friends meet her and some friends for some food and drinks. Best case scenario, the two of you hit it off and ditch your friends. Other times no one likes each other, gets sloppy drunk and explains how they really feel. Good times.
Some couples hit it off from the start, the sparks fly and they know from the moment they meet that it was meant to be. Outside of the movies, most couples have to work at their relationships everyday as it takes time to build a closeness and trust that couples develop.
No more waiting until you're home to use the bathroom
Dinner at her house is a special treat, there are candles, soft music, flowers, and some badly cooked chicken, which is really started to bind your stomach at the moment. The discomfort has progressed and beads of sweat are forming on your brow. Unfortunately, the bathroom is practically in the living room, she would definitely hear what would happen in there, and no doubt smell it. You can try the old I left something at home and need to go get it trick, but you suspect she's on to you by now. We all use the bathroom, but still.
No more parents to meet
Meeting the parents is always interesting. It could be the macho dad that tries to crush your hand with all of the strength he can muster during a hand shake. The dad that will hate you even if your fresh from an award ceremony for saving some orphans from a burning building. Although you apologize for being late, he will not tolerate this kind of disrespect for his daughter in his house. Or perhaps it's the interrogating mother who will politely roast your tail over dinner. She asks questions that have no right answers, her only goal is to make you squirm. Play it too cool and they’ll think you’re a player and contest your intentions with their little girl. Sure, some parents are great, I lucked out with my in laws (although I was shown the gun safe the first time we stayed over at the house) but still, meeting the parents is never something you look forward to.
No more roommates
Whether it is yours or hers, roommates can really put a damper on romantic evenings. Go to hers and get stared at by the roommate that has no plans that night (after spending five minutes with her you know exactly why). Go to your place and your deadbeat friends are hanging around and with no intentions of cleaning up or being presentable, besides how long has that pizza box been behind the couch anyway?
No more big surprises
I don’t mean surprises like a present, or a party of some sort. No, I mean surprises of the My boyfriend just got out of prison, or I used to be a man variety. That's just not something I want or need in my life. Let's face it, on the first few dates how well do you really know someone? Sure they may be attractive, full of life, and seem to be the perfect catch until the night they get drunk, see their ex, and behave like a guest on the Jerry Springer show. Call me simple but I like knowing who I'm coming home to. For me, a big surprise is that my wife picked up some ice cream on the way home.
No more romance
Kidding! I’m not that stupid. I do know the key to a healthy relationship is keeping the spark. Finding time in our schedules to do something nice for our special someones is crucial to a happy relationship.
Understanding one another is important, or you may find yourself as bachelor again, only this time you notice the game has changed. Some people love the freedom of single life and are better suited to be on their own, and that's great, whatever works for you. I know that I'm just a wide eyed newlywed with much to learn, but I plan on keeping it that way, or at least trying.