My Present To Santa This Christmas! Poem
When Santa came down the chimney
All he'd hoped for was a plate of mince pies
But I stood there in my bikini
Hoping to give him a great big surprise.
You should have seen his face when he saw me,
All he did was stand and stare
Then slowly his legs went all wobbly
As he took in my body all bare.
He said, Lady dont'cha think its a bit risky?
Doin' that right by the front door?
For us to get a bit frisky?
I said, Take your suit off and lay on the floor.
Well, it went like it does,
And talk about fuss,
When his beard kept on ticklin' my bits
I said, Take that thing off your chin,
Else it goes in the bin,
Its itching my flippin' great...zits! (Well, what did you think I was going to say?!!)
So, he did as he was told,
Til we started to get cold,
And the sun had come up in the sky
Then, I said, right now go
Cos its started to snow,
Be gone now, it's time to say goodbye.
He smiled just a bit, and juggled my zit!
Til the grin on his face told me more
He said, well now, we'll see
Shall I come back at three?
And carry on as before.
But, smiling sadly, in fact rather gladly,
I said, no its over, go home.
He started to ask, was I up to the task?
No, I said, next time send one of your gnomes.
So the moral of this tale If you really must know
Is to drink Egg Nog and not Vodka Snow,
So when a jolly fat man, with a costume so red,
Falls straight down your chimney,
JUST GO BACK TO BED!
And watch out for that man in the red suit! Dodgy character!
Copyright Nell Rose
More by this Author
Beatrix Potter is best known for her wonderful animal stories. Here you can read about this amazing woman's life.
Limericks to make you laugh from famous poets to everyday people
Thyroid disease A personal guide that will help you recognise each symptom and side effect that the Doctor doesn't know. From harmful tablets to seeing the illness in your face and body.