What NOT to Say to a Pregnant Woman

Occasionally friends and strangers say the darndest things to me. And they should know better.

So how are you feeling?

The polite pregnant woman who grits "fine..." through her teeth has a 5-8 pound baby resting his head on her pubic bone, sciatic nerve, diaphragm, bladder, and colon. She probably hasn't had a good night's sleep in a month, what from all the late-night trips to the restroom and the lumbering adjustments in sleep position. If you do get a polite response to this question, just thank your lucky stars that you didn't have your head lopped off.

You're naming her Gertie? I had a gerbil by that name!

A once insipid discussion about baby names took a turn to the absurd when our children's nursery leader launched into a long speech about all the female dogs she named with the beginning letter "G". Now I will never, ever, name a girl child Gretchen or Gretta or Gertie.

Do you think you'll have any more children after this one?

Remember that the 9th month of pregnancy is like the 23rd mile in a 26-mile marathon that you know to be followed by an endurance bike ride. I personally had my sister-in-law visit with her 5 children during my 8th month. The only sane answer to this question is "are you kidding? I'm not only NOT going to have any more children, but I think I'll have a lobotomy too." This is a question that probably shouldn't be asked until the precious bundle of love is fully weaned and potty trained, and maybe not until after she goes to college. Remember, it's all in the timing.

How much longer?

The person who asks this question probably means to ask about the due date. But as someone who is a bit of a stickler for accuracy, I cringe every time I hear this question, and force myself not to say "Gee, let me get out my crystal ball!" or "Heck if I know!" Usually I manage to smile sweetly and say, "The baby's due on June 20th, but I'm SURE he will come early."

How did THAT happen?

A woman I know once asked me this question. She is a retired OB Nurse. I smiled at her sweetly and replied, "Oh, the usual way." I had so much fun repeating the story to my friends, I had to share with you too.

What? You're pregnant?/But you don't LOOK 9 months pregnant!

In my ninth month, the topic of my pregnancy does occasionally surface, and complete strangers have repeatedly said this to me. Believe me, if by the 9th month a person doesn't look pregnant, it's not flattering to point it out. The baby's coming one way or another, and most pregnant women want some kind of recognition for their last month of discomfort and malcontent. The most obvious retort to this backward compliment is "You think I normally waddle?" or "I guess I was always just a little bit heavier in the middle." Come on! Pullease!

Can I touch your stomach?

My friend's husband just asked me this question. I give him points for asking. My answer: NOPE!

A much more intrusive, but similar incident occurred when I was out shopping for last-minute items for the impending bundle of joy. As my husband went to pay for our things at the checkout stand, I sat on a bench in the entryway. It was a very hot day and the long drive into town made me rather tired. I woman I'd never seen approached and asked "Oh, how far along are you? And, can I touch your stomach?"

As I was in the middle of responding, "I really don't feel comfortable with that," she reached out her hand and touched my belly anyway! I felt so angry and intruded upon!

If you are one of those people "who can't help yourself" or "don't see the harm," understand that the next person might not be so nice. I really wanted to slug her, but I didn't.

Are you buying THAT to feed a craving?

The insensitive male employee at the meat counter asked me if I was buying an 8 oz. bag of pepperoni to feed a pregnant craving, as he leered at my excessively large, pregnant tummy. I looked at him with exasperated disdain and responded in a measured and artificially patient voice, "No, that would be my husband's craving. He said that pizza just isn't pizza without pepperoni."

I didn't think he needed more explanation than this, but since my husband is now one of my biggest Hub fans, I need to explain that he offered to go to the store to get the pepperoni himself, but that meant I would have to hold down the fort at home, and I just didn't feel like doing THAT.

(At the Hospital) Can You Make it To the Second Floor?

I take pride in my own ability to perambulate. And just because I'm 9 months pregnant and at the hospital, that doesn't mean I'm there to deliver. Maybe I'm just feeling grouchy, but why do so many people assume that I'm there to have the baby? I still have 4 LONG weeks to go. Anyone have a good response to this?

Wow, You Sure Are Pregnant!...Um, I Mean, Wow, You Sure Look Great!

Ok boys and girls, listen up! If you say this to a pregant woman who took the time and effort to show up anywhere during their last few weeks of pregnancy, don't expect the lame save to do you any good. I didn't name names here, but featuring the stupid comment in an internet article is the least painful form of retribution I would expect the pregnant woman to seek. And gentlemen, let me reiterate, the pregnant woman is now in her rights to say "Wow, YOU sure are fat...I mean wow you look great." or "Wow, YOU sure look bald...erm, I mean, did you get your hair cut?" And IF, on the rare occasion this comment is instigated by a woman, "Wow, you look a bit pregnant too, are you gaining weight?" or "Wow, you sure are thin, are you anorexic?" Some people are blurters. I hope they're thick skinned as they expect hormonal pregnant women to be.

You Really Look Like You're About to Pop!

What am I? A tick?

OK, what really happened, is this guy asked me how I was feeling, and I responded "I feel like I'm about to pop!" I smiled good naturedly, but honestly I DO get a bit tired of having these conversations. Maybe I should have responded, I'm feeling great! After all, I've published 44 hubs in 3 months AND packed 20 boxes away in my home to prepare for my baby's arrival. I AM Superwoman, and my children love me! But I digress...

This fellow responded that he had been thinking about saying "You look like you're about to pop!" too, but thought better of the comment. I congratulated him for his wisdom, and suggested that it is ALWAYS better to let the pregnant woman make these comments to himself. He should limit himself to unintelligible grunting.

Wow, You Sure are Fat!

Someone who falls distinctly in the friends and family category recently visited and the first thing he said as he walked through the door of the hallowed halls of my home was "Wow, you sure are fat!"

As I reached out to give him a hug, I responded with "Yeah, well, I have an 8-lb baby in my stomach and she's coming out soon. What's your excuse?"

Fortunately, there is an end in sight to this pregnancy, and it is fast approaching. That's a good thing, because my sweet and patient reactions to people's comments have become curmudgeonly, and intensify with every day!

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Comments 66 comments

wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 8 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

What kinds of crazy things have people said to you during your pregnancy?

WeddingConsultant profile image

WeddingConsultant 8 years ago from DC Metro Area

My wife has pretty much been asked a majority of those questions. The only one that really bugged her was the 2nd question. This is why we decided to keep the baby name a secret, even from our family! Too many people "offered" their opinions about different names, and so we just decided we'll announce it when she's born! (Well, actually the name will be out once I post my Baby Journal Part 4 hub...!)

Blogger Mom profile image

Blogger Mom 8 years ago from Northeast, US

Funny stuff - I always got the "so, are you planning on having more?" question...it's like I want to say, hey, let me push this one out first, please?

amy jane profile image

amy jane 8 years ago from Connecticut

So funny - i absolutely hated being pregnant because strangers were always approaching me, touching my belly, asking me questions and telling me about the horrors of their birthing experience. And the advice was never ending. More painful than labor, in my opinion!

tjmum profile image

tjmum 8 years ago from Isle of Wight

I actually told my mother-in-law I was naming my firstborn Hercules if a boy or Hepzibar if a girl (I was fed up with being asked). Another good question was 'how are you going to cope?' when I found I was pregnant (by accident) with my second son (the eldest only being 9 months at the time). My dad also told me my first son's middle name was nice cos he once had a dog called Jake! And I always hated the midwife when she laughed and said, 'Never mind about not getting any sleep for the last couple of months, it's just the baby getting you in training for when it arrives'. Yeah, and I laughed soooo much! Still, I now have two gorgeous boys who I absolutely adore.

wannabwestern@msn.com 8 years ago

Thanks for the comments. I will try to remember not to share the baby's name, if we ever can decide upon one. My daughter dislikes the only name my husband and I can agree upon, so I issued her a challenge. We told her, "you come up with a name we like better than the one we have, and if we can both agree upon it, then we'll use it." I haven't had any tummy "rubs" but my hair dresser (whom I met for the first time that day) gave my tummy a little pat when I left. Next time I'll have to tip her a little less well!

My husband reminded me after I shared the post with him that I left out one other question. I live in a fairly small town and saw someone I know at the grocery store. She trotted over to me and remarked, "So, wouldn't it be funny if you weren't as far along as you thought you were?" My immediate response was, "Uh, NO!"

WeddingConsultant profile image

WeddingConsultant 8 years ago from DC Metro Area

Yes Amy, I noticed that when shopping with my wife yesterday. I thought I must have had a booger in my nose or something because EVERYONE stared at us where we went. But she told me that's normal now that she's pregnant! Sheesh, people, have you not seen a pregnant woman before?

tjmum- I love it! We've done the same thing. We say we're naming our daughter something like Tashante Tequilla (no offense if that's anyone's name!)

wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 8 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

Hey! That's MY name! Just kidding.

wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 8 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

Our baby name will be Oops Surprise.

WeddingConsultant profile image

WeddingConsultant 8 years ago from DC Metro Area

western, if your name really is Tashante Tequilla, I would like to apologize to you on behalf of your parents!

Whitney05 profile image

Whitney05 8 years ago from Georgia

HaHa this is funny! Cute idea definitely. I like the slip ups when people ask how far along a person is and the person just has a little extra weight on them from the last time they saw each other.

stephhicks68 profile image

stephhicks68 8 years ago from Bend, Oregon

LOL - When I was pregnant with twins, it was really horrible. I made it all the way to 38 weeks and was then induced. Those babies were really warm and comfortable, I guess. By week 36, the doctor advised me to go for walks, which I gladly did. You should have seen the stares I got walking through the mall! People asked me how many babies I was having. Then, when I told them I was having a boy and a girl, they would literally ask if they were identical. C'mon people.... how can they be identical when they have different parts???

newlife profile image

newlife 8 years ago from Malta

HAHA.. Good hub! Here in Malta we go a step further.. Its an 'old tradition' .. when you see a baby.. what do you normally say? Awww. How sweet.. what beautiful eyes, etc etc etc.... and we HAVE to say.. God Bless after that.. just in case.. We tend to have this old story.. of the Evil Eye!!.. If we don't say God Bless right after we compliment the baby, its thought that something bad will happen to the baby.. Look it up, Malta and evil eye tales.. There are so many different stories!!! Some of them are so silly, really.. but we seem to have kept some of the 'old traditions'..

Stacie Naczelnik profile image

Stacie Naczelnik 8 years ago from Seattle

I love looking at pregnant woman, but only because I have a bit of ticking clock thing at times. I know it must be annoying, so I try to make a quick glance, and then move on. I would never, ever touch someone's belly unless I knew them well (cousin, sister, best friend) and it was okay with her.

WeddingConsultant profile image

WeddingConsultant 8 years ago from DC Metro Area

Well, Stacie, that was the thing that my wife and I ran into when shopping at our outlet mall nearby. EVERYONE that worked at the Gap would stare at her! It was really ackward. I just wanted to stare back or ask them if they needed something. haha

tjmum profile image

tjmum 8 years ago from Isle of Wight

I found a lot of people stared, but didn't want to say anything in case I was just overweight and not pregnant. What I really hated when I was over 40 weeks, the size of a house with fluid retention as I had pre-eclampsia, and thoroughly fed up was people saying 'I bet you can't wait for the baby to come now'. I felt like saying 'No, I love not being able to sleep, or get comfortable no matter what position I'm in. I also love not being able to see my feet or even put a pair of shoes on'. My mum (God Bless her) said after the birth of my first 'So, you don't want to put him back then?' As Tom was 8lb 7oz, obviously not!

wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 8 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

Your comments put a smile on my face. I wrote this article when I was pregnant with my son, who is now almost 2. However, I am now pregnant again and don't enjoy the repetitive comments, even though the vast majority of them are so well-meant. Many of your comments definitely take the cake (or the baby, as the case may be.)

Identical twins? Wow! StephHicks68-that's pretty good!

Wedding-No my name isn't really Taquila. But my real name is a closely guarded secret...I can tell from your posts that you really love your wife. Kudos!

I think what resonates with me on this topic is that the joke's on them, instead of me, for a change.

howtoinducelabor 8 years ago

Fantastic, thanks for sharing!

noname 8 years ago

Some of those were funny, but honestly, I think you're a little overly sensitive about some of them. People ask you how you're feeling because they're trying to be nice. People ask you when you're due because they're interested.

Most of these things were amusing, but those two made you seem a little bitchy. If you don't want anyone commenting at all on your pregnancy, you'd better stay in the house.

wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 8 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

Noname, I agree with you, but the point is, women who are nine months pregnant aren't a little bitchy, they're a LOT bitchy! LOL! Most people are well meaning and few people mean harm by any comments. During my last two weeks of pregnancy being very overdue, I did just stay home as much as I could. Even nice, well-meaning people can be annoying, and I think it's a pregnant person's perogative to stay out of the limelight. Thanks for your comment.

Marimommy 7 years ago

For the most part I would think that people make comments to you without bad intentions ...but sometimes I wish people would think logically and realize that their comments really arent funny.

At 38 weeks pregnant I had a man come up to me at the park and say "I think you should take it easy on those potato chips," luckily (for the man) my husband shot him a dirty look before I had a chance to lash out.

wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 7 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

Now that I'm not pregnant any more, it's easy to have "perspective" about the pregnancy comments. I think when you're pregnant and very uncomfortable from carrying a heavy baby, gallons of amniotic fluid, and extra baby fat, and sleep deprived to boot, It's harder to have a sense of humor. Some people are naturally insensitive, like the man who told you to lay off the potato chips, and big, uncomfortable-looking pregnant women are easy targets. Other people aren't insensitive, but are looking for an obvious topic of conversation (see "How do you feel"). My friend recently gave birth, and I remember when she was 9 months along, I found it very difficult to come up with a topic of conversation that didn't sound like one of the conversations in this hub. Just goes to show how short our memories can be!

Plants and Oils profile image

Plants and Oils 7 years ago from England

I remember my Mum saying that the only woman who gets more unwanted free advice from all and sundry than a pregnant woman is one with a newborn baby. She was right!

wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 7 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

Here here!

tdarby profile image

tdarby 7 years ago

How about when people see you in public with all the other kids (we have 5) and make the old crack "You guys know how that happens, don't you?" Really, are they thinking that is actually funny. Um, no--we have no idea. They just seem to keep coming.

wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 7 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

I agree that one is especially insensitive! Thank you for your comment!

createmorelove profile image

createmorelove 7 years ago from Bay Area

I enjoyed reading your hub- it made me laugh and think back to my own pregnacy. I can definetly relate- thanks for your honesty- I just wish I had found hubpages when I was pregnant.

wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 7 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

Thanks Createmorelove. I feel a bit nostalgic for all that extra water weight when I read this hub. Not! ;)

CrystallTears profile image

CrystallTears 7 years ago

omg all of those things are realy funny but i would be P*$$ed if any one told me any of those things lol (Keep up the good hubs =)

wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 7 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

Thanks CrystallTears! I agree. Most of those comments are totally inappropriate to say to a pregnant woman! Of course the hormones didn't help when I was pregnant. Now I can take it all in stride. The best audience for this hub is a woman who is about 6 days overdue. :P

Tanya 7 years ago

My favourite comments I have been receiving are 1. Are you sure your not carrying twins??? I don't expect males or women who have never been pregnant to understand that and that's ok, but when it is said by other mothers it sends you into a panic over are you too big??? and secondly, You get huger every time I see you. Again same thing as before. So guys try not to say it but we won't hold it against you :) mothers, if you say it think about how would you feel if you were asked this when you were pregnant.

wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 7 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

Thanks Tanya, that advice is sensible AND good-natured. You have a kind way of putting things! I hope you have a safe delivery!

Ali Watts Elliott 7 years ago

Hi - I'm new to this forum but I had to add my favorite -

At least once a week while I was in my last month someone asked me "Still pregnant, huh?" Uh...yeah. Or not really I just had a basketball for breakfast!

wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 7 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

Thanks for the addition. That was a great one!

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 7 years ago

Sometimes it's good to write about things you know about. Sometimes it's better for some of us to read what you know about. I'm going to resist every temptation of asking those questions. Thanks

wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 7 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

Micky Dee, that's so funny! Truth be told, it's better just to not look a pregnant woman in the eye and keep walking quickly in the other direction. It is the only safe way to interact with us!

firsttimemom 6 years ago

It really is nice to read all these comments and I feel reassured. I'm only halfway along, but I am tired of hearing that I'm not big enough! I get "It's not showing at all!!" and "post a picture on.... I want to see your bump". That's none of their business I think.

wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 6 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

firstimemom, pregnancy has a way of making everything that was once in the realm of your private person a public affair. I'm not condoning this, but people view pregnant women in a very different way. I agree it is none of their business.

number4 6 years ago

I had a man laugh at me on my way into Wal-Mart (of course). I was sick, wearing sweats and 37 weeks along. The comment after his laughing was so clever... "so, you know you're really pregnant right?!"-really? what do I say to that? That was the comment that stole the last bit of pride. I refused to go to my son's pack mtg that week. I just couldn't handle further humiliation.

dotamy 6 years ago

My favorite was at a Cracker Barrel, three days after I was cleared from the hospital for preterm labor at 30 weeks. (I was just there to pee!) The hostess, as I'm walking out with both of my kids stops me and just says "EW! EWWW EWW EWWW EWWW EWWWWWW. EWWWWEEEWWWWWEEEWWW!!!" (For what seemed like five minutes, staring at my belly) "And you ALREADY have two!"

I wish I could say I had an awesome response, because I can be a real b**ch sometimes, but I honestly just stared at her in disbelief. "EW?!" REALLY? I was just happy I was still pregnant and able to walk to a bathroom rather than use a bedpan and my baby was going to be fine. And i get "EW." Preiceless.

dotamy 6 years ago

I just thought of two more funny ones I've experienced.

1) "Wow! Are you pregnant?" (8mos pg with my son), asked by the grocery store lady. My response? "No, I just drank a lot of beer. Beer belly's are the worst, aren't they?"

2) I dropped stuff off at Goodwill last week (I'm 36wks now), and the Goodwill guy came out of the building to get it all and as he sees me, his eyes got HUGE and he said, "WHOAH" under his breath. I decided that was respectful, considering I say that to myself when I see me in the mirror. But still!

april 6 years ago

If you are not my friend or relative, please do not ask me if I intend to breast feed.

I don’t need you to point out that I look tired. I probably do, but I’m also thinking I look good today so by you pointing out I look tired makes me feel like my efforts of getting showered and make up on was futile.

Yes, I know my feet/ankles are swollen. Yes, they do hurt. Yes, I do put them up when I can. And No, my doctor is not concerned about toxemia.

Don’t ask me if I’m allowed to eat that. If I’m eating it, I’m eating it. Mind your own business.

If I’m not currently in a conversation with you regarding my pregnancy, please do not spit out unsolicited advice.

“You look huge!” is not a compliment and it’s not helpful. “You are glowing/beautiful/doing a great job” those are acceptable comments.

Not to sound ungrateful, but if you’re going to purchase something for me that’s not on the registry, a gift receipt is helpful. If I can’t use it, and can’t return it, then what else am I supposed to do with it?

If I share that I’m really ready to go into labor and hold my baby (AKA – cannot wait to no longer be pregnant) please don’t point out that my brother was 6 weeks late. Love you, but that is not helpful!

If you are a co-worker or employee (someone I do not speak to on a personal level) I’d prefer not to share with you how each one of my doctors visits went.

If I tell you I’m feeling fine. I’m feeling fine. Do not ask, “Really? Are you sure?” If I wanted to go into more detail with you regarding how I’m feeling I will.

If you are not my friend or relative, do not ask me how much weight I’ve gained or ask if I’ve developed stretch marks.

Never, under any circumstance is it appropriate to point out that it looks like I’m having twins. I’m pretty sure my regular check ups with my doctor would have determined that.

When I tell you that I haven’t slept in days, it is not helpful or supportive to say that that is Mother Nature’s way of preparing me to not sleep when baby is here. I’m tired now – I need sleep now. And to tell me to sleep as much now as I can because I wont get any when the baby is here doesn't help me either since I cant sleep as it is right now.

If I showed up to work that means I’m still pregnant. Thanks for inquiring.

In general it’s always polite to hold the door open for a woman or if someone has only one grocery item in their cart behind you to let them go first. If it’s a pregnant woman, don’t be a jerk! My feet and back hurt and common courtesy would be so appreciated.

Yes, I am going for that second/third helpings. And yes, I do plan on working out to lose the baby weight.

If I don’t know you (or barely know you) please don’t ask if you can touch my belly. I really don’t want you to, but how do I tell you that without sounding like a you know what?

When I talk about my apprehensions about labor; I dont need to know how tramatic and tramatizing your labor was or that you labored for 38 hours, tore horbily and then ended up in C-section. Please spare me these gory details as they are really not helpful at all!

Please, just because I look "Big" dont assume that I'm going to have a HUGE baby, as that is something my Dr. will determine not you!

Telling me that 1st time mom's are usually late or early (I have heard both) with delivery is not something that's been proven or that needs to be shared in any way shape or form, the baby will come when he's ready to come lets face it!

Angela  6 years ago

I have 4 boys and you wouldn't believe how random women would stop me and tell me different ways to have a daughter. I'm not 8 months pregnant with a baby girl and guess What... we did it the old fashion way!

wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 6 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

Angela, you never realize how opinionated people are until you become pregnant. It is like an open invitation for unwanted advice. I am carrying number 4 now, and so far so good. Congrats on your baby girl, the old fashioned way!

cassie 6 years ago

April, as I read that, I just want to say that that sounds sooo much like what everyone tells me.

Another thing, I can't tell you all how many times after saying how I just want to have my baby out, and in my arms and here, that I have gotten the response of them laughing at me and telling me,

"and when he's out you will wish he wasn't"

Thanks, i'm glad you felt that way about your children, but this one is mine.

Something else that bothers me, when someone asks me how I am, if i'm not close to them, I feel obliged to not say if i'm doing badly, so I reply with "Oh, i'm alive" and they laugh.

Honestly, you see that I refrained from saying 'fine', and I know your assuming I feel bad, but laughing? Seriously?

Or when a family member or friend asks, and I tell them about how I haven't really slept in 9 days and I have terrible prelabor symptoms, I know its hard to respond to that, but the absolute wrong response is, "Oh i'm so sorry for you" or "wow that must be horrible"

Really? Must it be? Or didn't I just tell you that it was.

Now, i'm 38 weeks pregnant with my first, and i'm only 16, but I can't begin to tell you the number of people, who for every day of my second semester in my choir class alone, asked me every day how I was feeling.

Much less the amount of people I don't know asking to touch my belly. I want so bad to say NO, but I am usually a nice person, and I don't like to be rude, so I say sure, but I really just hate that question.

Heck, i've had people I don't like, and who don't like me, ask to touch my belly.

And another note, I was quite glad at my lack of stretch marks ANYWHERE from this pregnancy, but so many people would just laugh at my content, and tell me, "Oh don't worry, you'll get a lot the last few weeks"

And by the way, at 38 weeks pregnant, I still have VERY little stretch marks, and I didn't use any lotion on a daily basis, and I am even genetically prone to them as I already had some on my legs.

After having gone into preterm labor twice already, and the pain from the start of my prelabor, people ask me if I want the epidural, but when I tell them that I handle pain well, and would rather avoid the epi, they all LAUGH and tell me, "You say that now, just wait, you won't care about the risks with it anymore"

Really? I won't care about the risks of prolonged labor, the extra drugs going through my body possibly affecting the way my labor progresses, and the fact for me that its highly likely the epi won't even take with me, so i'll be enduring one of my worst fears, and the pain with it, for nothing?

Yeah, riiight.

Reading this made me laugh, I agree with so much of this, and it true, I suppose you really don't notice these things until you are pregnant yourself. (:

One more thing, I always get the "When Are You Due" question, and afterwards, it always follows with

"Wow, so are you excited?"

Yes, I am excited to go through tremendous pain and shove something the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a small lemon (: Thank you!

Haah, thanks for writing this!

with love,


wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 6 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

Cassie, I'm glad you felt some kinship to thoughts I expressed here, and hope your delivery goes great. It probably won't be comfortable but it will be worth it. Everyone has a different experience during delivery, so I won't try to pretend to know how yours will turn out, but I will be thinking about you and wishing you the very best!

Saruskabeth 6 years ago

"But you don't look 9 months pregnant!"

I got so sick of hearing this by the end of my third pregnancy! I felt like I was somehow being judged based on my size...still felt like an elephant in there! (she was 9lbs 4oz, too!)

And I don't know how many times I heard, "How did you time that?" when I was out with my 2 1/2 year old, one year old, and a watermelon in my gut. Now, I know someone out there probably has planned on three births in three years, but I was not one of them.

And then there is always, "You know what causes that, right?" Ha....ha....ha...

wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 6 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

"You know what causes that, right?" YES. After almost 9 years of secondary infertility, We have had 3 pregnancies in 4 years, all unplanned. I have had some ridiculous and insulting comments, especially from women. Thanks for your comments!

spoliver 6 years ago

those comments are all great and I too hate all those annoying questions. The nerve of some people. I am 38 weeks pregnant with my first child and I am so OVER this pregnancy. You know another question that I hate? After asking my due date they ask "so are you ready?" what is that all about? Like if you are not ready you can just ask God for an extention or something. Ba Hum Bug

wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 6 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

I feel your pain, spoliver. I'm in the middle of my fourth and hopefully last pregnancy now, and I agree some comments can be a little silly. I'm never ready for a baby to be born, to nurse day and night for months on end, or to lose hours and hours of sleep. And likewise, I'm not ready for the baby to breeze through infancy into that early-toddler stage that says it's all done and whew, we made it! Hang in there and thanks so much for your comment!

Norah 6 years ago

Good article,let's let pregnant women alone,please... woman needs at that time relaxing,being on her own,taking care of herself and her baby,and others have tu support,respect her,they certainly don't have any right to say such things!!!

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wannabwestern 6 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

Thank you Norah, I agree!

Desiree nelson 6 years ago

this thing is so true i hate when people ask me am i ok i meen do i look not ok dam

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wannabwestern 6 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

I'm glad this struck a chord with you and I hope your delivery works out well. Cheers!

computergirl 6 years ago

People are so stupid. I even had family members freak out about my belly saying I'm so big or omg don't show your belly! Um...it's as if I was showing them my vagina and boobs...they need to get out of the cave ages.

Sam 6 years ago

If I get asked one more time if I am having twins, I may poke their eyes out! NO I AM NOT HAVING tWINS I AM 38 WEEKS PREGNANT MORON! Oh and btw I am gorgeous and lucky to have this big bump so stop trying to bring me down, of all the stupid, impolite and insensate thing to say!!

Also it has gotten to the point that I am so uncomfortable with people at me that I will not go down the road by myself!! Why are people so mean??

Kiley 5 years ago

Okay, so my question is.... What CAN someone ask who isn't pregnant--especially to make small talk, when doing something like a bra fitting? I work for a lingerie store that does nursing bras and the like, and now I'm aware these are upsetting... So I'm curious to know, what exactly do you talk about with a pregnant woman who is obviously pregnant?

Is it acceptable for us to ask if you will be breast feeding to inform you that there are nursing bras available and what time frame you should start looking for one?

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wannabwestern 5 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

Kiley, it's been 4 months since my last pregnancy, so I am feeling a little better, now. Women often enjoy talking about themselves and their children. Just focus on questions that are specific and which narrow into their interests, instead of on their appearance or how they feel. For example, what are you naming your baby? Oh, Archibald, what a unique name. How did you decide on that?

Box-Monkey profile image

Box-Monkey 5 years ago from Waterloo, Ontario

I think you should do a sequel to this of "What TO say to a pregnant woman!", as I am at a loss. I did enjoy the snarky remarks, though!

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wannabwestern 5 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

Box-Monkey, if I could write THAT article that would be something else. Unfortunately I am no longer pregnant and the magic pregnancy wit and charm has dulled to mere drooling exhaustion. Still, I sure wish I could. Any takers?

Lianne Litzenberger 5 years ago

I went to a church once where they said every annoying question, comment and fat joke under the sun. It got so bad that I ended up leaving there and never looked back. People really need to understand that just because someone is pregnant it doesn't mean you have a right to call them fat. It doesn't mean you think we enjoy being asked EXTREMELY personal questions in front of everybody, and you will never know how I am really feeling so don't ask. (unless you want you face punched haha)

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wannabwestern 5 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

That is really unfortunate, Lianne. I am sorry you had this experience. Hopefully motherhood will be better for you than pregnancy.

wendy 5 years ago

The one I always get and that really irritates me, is, "Are you SURE you aren't having twins??" YES, I'M SURE. I'm just huge, and I know that already, OK? There was also the checker at the grocery store who upon finding out it was my first pregnancy, said, "WOW! You are late!" YES, I'M OLD AND I'M HUGE TOO.

kerlynb profile image

kerlynb 5 years ago from Philippines, Southeast Asia, Earth ^_^

"Wow, You Sure are Fat!" - LOL! Oh yes, this is true. I guess it's also true for just about any women, preggie or not :)

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Woody Marx 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Although I have never been pregnant, I know my mother must have been at some point. I think she would have agreed with all of these. ;)

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babynology 3 years ago from New York

Congratulation on maintaining a great hub. My hub is about baby names and baby names meaning - All suggestion baby naming.

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