What Not to Do When You Are Having a Midlife Crisis

The Afternoon

My poor unappreciated middle aged husband was needing some time without kids and wife to goof off with some friends the other day.  No problem for me as the children weren't feeling well and neither was I.  So off he went to meet some guys at the local sports bar to watch football or so I assumed.


The Missing Cell Phone and the Surprise Call

My son decided to go out and ride his bike (we live in the Southern United States) and I usually like for him to have a cell phone with him as he is only 8 years old and it has served well in emergency situations in the past (that's another story). Needless to say I could not find his cell phone anywhere and decided to call my husband to see if he had any idea where it could be.

I called my husband...and look below.

The Stumper in the Ditch

Photo by Steve Lochmann
Photo by Steve Lochmann

Being Caught With the Proverbial Pants Down

My Husband was totally flabbergasted when I reached him. He said, "I'm sorry Tam but, Johnny asked me if I wanted to go out mud-running and I said sure. Now we're in a big fix." Apparently the truck (aka the Stumper) was stuck in a ditch out in some swampy god knows where bush. Not a big ditch mind you but one deep enough where they couldn't pull back out.

Now here's the dilemma, my Husband is sure that I will never be able to find him so they have no idea how they are going to get out of the bush and Johnny's wife was in a different state visiting family.

Of course I am laughing my head off knowing that this is some stupid middle aged thing, and no I wasn't mad, I felt sorry for the two fools. I hadn't had a real good laugh in a while so I really needed it even if it was at my Husbands expense.


The Stumper

Photo by Steve Lochmann
Photo by Steve Lochmann

What Could Have Happened?

I am sure it could have been worse. No helmets, no roll bar that I know of and apparently no seat belts. Look above at the windshield on the passenger side where my husband's head hit the windshield. Luckily he's thick-headed...pardon the pun.

Still, I get a little chuckle thinking about those two old guys bouncing around in that truck. I can just picture that. Then the big crash into the ditch, and the dumfounded looks they must have shared...ooh I can barely stand it.

Needless to say they boys made it out of the bush. However the truck is still there (in the bush) today. Glad it wasn't our truck.

Photo by Steve Lochmann
Photo by Steve Lochmann

Copyright © 2010 Tammy Lochmann

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Comments 63 comments

dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

I use to work in rental and know all about this activity (mud running). After getting back our vehicles and upon inspection (I always pop the hood and look inside) I can tell whether or not my customers went off-roading with our trucks. However, there are some that live in East Nowhere and so their driveways are nothing but cleared bush, believe it or not.

Thanks, Tammy! Forgiveness is a great thing :D


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

You're welcome Dohn and thank you so much for being the first to read and comment. I always look forward to what you have to say. I know what you mean by the driveways being nothing but cleared bush you see a lot of that here.

LOL I wonder if this is why I have stayed married for so long.


resspenser profile image

resspenser 6 years ago from South Carolina

Those boys needed a winch. That is w-i-n-c-h! :):)


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

Resspenser, LOL no winches here only wenches. They tried the other day and have to get a tractor out there to get the HP to move it. Just a little update in case you were interested. :-D


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

Men-you gotta love 'em!


"Quill" 6 years ago

Men will always be boys, we spend our whole childhood years attempting to be men. After fourty we get stupid, its a guy thing, what can I say, wait I will get the step ladder so you can get into my truck...smiles.

Many Blessings in 2010.


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

Lorlie...Amen to that!

Quill...I have learned that over the years. The toys get a little bigger and more expensive as they get older LOL

Thank you both for stopping by and reading. Happy New Year!


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 6 years ago from USA

Tammy - It's "no-go" if you have to "go-slow" The governing statement is "the older the boy, the more costly the toy." (Just you wait another 40 years or so !) Gus ;-)))


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

Gus...LOL it gets worse?!!...Actually he said just this morning we need to trade your van in for a big pick up.

Just for an update he is taking my son out to watch them try to get the truck out today.


Ben Zoltak profile image

Ben Zoltak 6 years ago from Lake Mills, Jefferson County, Wisconsin USA

Haha, Lol. My daughter and I had a good laugh at this one. There is a place in Northern Wisconsin where they mud trucks and it digs down so deep that there's clay I take from there to make stuff! Pretty funny Tammy, I enjoyed your personal take on the situation!


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

Thanks Ben...I was hoping it was funny...I thought it was and everytime I still think about it I chuckle. Glad too that you found a good productive actual useful purpose for mud-runnin'. LOL


Duchess OBlunt 6 years ago

A great chuckle this morning Tammy. Thanks.

Men - Can't live with 'em - Can't live without 'em.

I'd love to have been a little fly on the windshield just to be able to see the expression on their faces!


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

Duchess...you and me both.

Hey congrats to Gus, Duchess and Dohn on making the AEvans top hubber list. You are tops on my list!


Duchess OBlunt 6 years ago

Thanks Tammy, wish my vote for you had tipped the scales in your favor!


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

:-D...Duchess like I said you are tops!


itakins profile image

itakins 6 years ago from Irl

Tammy-

Poor guys-a bit of a blow to their pride-I'm not familiar with this sport,but I suspect the idea is not to get stuck!!


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

Itakins my friend have you been having a good holiday season? Thanks for stopping in!

Definitely a blow to the pride to be stuck like that. But definitely good for a laugh.


bearclawmedia profile image

bearclawmedia 6 years ago from Mining Planet Earth

Dear Tammy, this is a funny hub, thanks for sharing. Don't worry ego bruises heal quicker when men get older its the physical ones that do not. I suppose you can thank the creator that he was not driving a red convertible, they are often needed to off set the male mid life crisis. Good one Bearclaw


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

Thanks for stopping in Bear...The ego is fine I love him no matter what he does. Happy New Year to you it must be New Year's Day over there.


Hussains profile image

Hussains 6 years ago from Olympia, WA

Very funny indeed! I enjoyed it. Hope the truck came out of that swamp. Thanks for sharing. Wishing you and yours a great 2010.


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US

hehehe, I hope it will be out there soon, Happy New Year to you and your little boy, kidding, Maita


msannec profile image

msannec 6 years ago from Mississippi (The Delta)

Thanks for sharing this funny story. Men and their adventures!


SwiftlyClean profile image

SwiftlyClean 6 years ago from Texas

This is to real I live in an area where they do this kinda thing all the time.It was as if you were talking about some of my family @ friends......Happy New Year!


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

Hussains...as far as I know the truck is still in the swamp LOL...Thanks for reading and commenting.

Pretty...Yes I have two little boys LOL...Thank you so much for reading and commenting.

Ms Anne...Boys will be boys...Thanks for reading and commenting.

Swiftly...Nice to see you and glad you can relate. Thank you for reading and commenting.

I am at work in the hospital for the next few days so forgive me if I don't answer in a timely manner. Happy New Year to you all!


2patricias profile image

2patricias 6 years ago from Sussex by the Sea

Both of us have husbands, so this Hub made us laugh.

Pat's husband used to go to a 16th Century Pub (well that's what he said it was) and he always said he couldn't call home from the pub because they didn't have phones in the 16th Century. Hum.


Mr Nice profile image

Mr Nice 6 years ago from North America

Very funny but I also feel sorry for the poor middle age hubby. Thanks for sharing the laugh.


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

2pats, thanks for stopping in and commenting I got a chuckle out of your story. Happy New year to you both.

Mr.Nice...Hello nice to meet you! Thankyou for stopping in and I am going to visit you shortly.


christalluna1124 profile image

christalluna1124 6 years ago from Dallas Texas

Tammy how hilarious!! I am sure you are familiar with Hattiesburg, down hwy 42 lies Sumrall, a little tiny dirt road one lane town. my brothers live there. One time they built a water proof mud truck. They would take it to the pond and drive under the water and come out on the other side covered in mud, BUT... they forgot a log had recently fallen into the pond. Under they went. They were stuck, luckily the windows were the old roll down type and they swam out and to the bank. The poor truck, no longer waterproof since letting down the windows, is to this day at the bottom of the pond, great for fish breeding. Your story reminded me of that and i rolled on the floor laughing.

Warmest regards,

Chris


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

Chris...OMG that is a total scream! I am still laughing. Thanks so much for reading! Glad I made you laugh I was hoping this was really funny cause I thought it was.


TINA V profile image

TINA V 6 years ago

This is a funny hub. Sometimes midlife crisis makes a person do something foolish. But it's good to know that you indeed laughed it out loud. Perhaps, laughter makes us younger too.

Happy New Year!


mpurcell10 profile image

mpurcell10 6 years ago from Arkansas

Without me life would be boring.Who would we laugh at?

Great Hub!


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

Tina V...Happy New Year to you and Thanks for reading and commenting...I think my sense of humor has kept me married to the same man for 14 years LOL.

mpurcell10...Amen to that...He laughs at me on a regular basis too though. Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to make a comment.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia

Well, Tams, that's what you get for marryin' a Southerner! lol. Glad they weren't hurt!


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

Holle...He's a redneck alright...That'll never change. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Great to see you...I need to take him to the Red Neck Riviera LOL


K Partin profile image

K Partin 6 years ago from Garden City, Michigan

Hey Tammy, you're right could of been worse. Men will be men! You just so happen to be married to one LOL Thanks K.


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

K...Do they ever grow up LOL


HubCrafter profile image

HubCrafter 6 years ago from Arizona

Hi Tammy: Considering how tough the ditch was to get free from..I'd say your husband was lucky it was the truck..and not him that was stuck. LOL.

HubCrafter


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

Hubcrafter...glad I made u laugh out loud. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.


The Rope profile image

The Rope 6 years ago from SE US

I'm still laughing. You were a trooper and I'm sure there will be other occasions in the future where you will need that wonderful humor to get through another "boys and their toys" episode. Thanks for sharing.


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

Mr Rope I am still laughing and every time I revisit this hub I giggle. I am sure I am in for more adventures. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and make a comment.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State

I got a great giggle out of this-thanks for painting the picture so well.

hc porter


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

H.C...thank you for stopping by and taking the time to make a comment. I still giggle when I think about this story. Thanks again.


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

Thanks for your advice. It really helpful. We have to be aware with this situation. nice topic.


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

prasetio30...thank you for reading and taking the time to comment.


jayjay40 profile image

jayjay40 6 years ago from Bristol England

Very funny, Men, can't live with them...... Mine is having a mid life crisis playing star wars on the Wii with an attachment so it looks like he has a light saber, Ahh bless


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

jayjay....Ya gotta love em! Thank you for taking the time to read and make a comment. Cheers!....Tammy


RNMSN profile image

RNMSN 6 years ago from Tucson, Az

your ole man should have known 1)since you are a nurse you were GOING to find him 2) since you are a canadian you were going to LAUGH at him!! haha men is right.. this was so funny...thanks for the giggle for me too Tams...I needed that! love to you


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

RNMSN...Thanks for stopping by I really appreciate it. I still laugh every time I read this. I am so glad I could give you a laugh. Peace to you, Tammy


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

The truck is finally out of the bush.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

You see- that's what listening to punk music will do to somebody. He heard your music and ran into a ditch. He probably wasn't listening to it at the time. He was probably suffering from PTSD. Now he's suffering another type of PTSD-putting a truck sideways in a ditch.


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

LOL again Micky...My husband is not a big fan of punk at all. How did you know that? He claims to be a parrothead all he listens to is Jimmy Buffett.


Jen's Solitude profile image

Jen's Solitude 6 years ago from Delaware

How in the world did I miss this hub! Oh well better late than never, especially when I get to read so many funny comments on top of the actual hub.

Great job Tammy, thanks to you and all who commented for the chuckles. Glad #1 hubby is ok, especially after viewing the windshield!.


Mystique1957 profile image

Mystique1957 6 years ago from Caracas-Venezuela

A long gone great Uruguayan stand up comedian once said: "Learn to laugh at yourself, it makes you look at life from a different perspective. Laugh and the world will laugh with you. Cry and you`ll get a contract for a soap opera"

Refreshing! I did like it!

Thumbs up!

warm greetings and regards,

Al


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

Jen...Thanks for bringing me back here I am chuckling. I still get tickled every time I think about this. I agree about the comments I love to read the dialogue after my faves write a new hub. Thanks for stopping by!


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

Al...Laughter the best medicine. Learning to accept others and laugh at foibles is such a relief. Thank you for taking the time to read and make a comment it is always nice to see you!


lovelypaper profile image

lovelypaper 6 years ago from Virginia

I thoroughly enjoyed this, laughing all the way 'cause I understand how middle-aged men can act like boys!


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

lovelypaper...Thank you for the comment. I am glad I could make you laugh. Nice to meet you.

Sincerely, Tammy


lmmartin profile image

lmmartin 6 years ago from Alberta and Florida

Isn't this typical for the boys? We'd call it a midlife crisis, but in my opinion most fellas never do grow up past sixteen, so how could that be?


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

Lynda...As far as I can tell they don't change their toys just get more expensive and bigger.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 6 years ago from Philippines

This hub brought a smile in me, my first since the past week in mourning over my brother's death. You are a terrific writer. Thank you, for this very entertaining hub. Thank God the grown-up boys weren't hurt.


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago Author

Lita C Malicdem...Thank you for taking the time to read and make such a gracious comment. I send my deepest condolences to you in your time of mourning. I am happy that I could bring a smile to your face.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 6 years ago

Terrific story that managed to make me laugh at this ungodly hour. Thanks so much!


GreyMoon profile image

GreyMoon 6 years ago

What Not to Do When You Are Having a Midlife Crisis?

I finding looking at myself standing naked in front of a full length mirror is to be avoided at all costs.

Suddenly realizing that if we live on average three score and ten years I should have had mine at 35.. damn I'm late for everything!

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