Has there ever been a time when your feelings were hurt? Sometimes in the past, my feelings were hurt when someone said something to try to not hurt someone else's feelings. Sometimes it makes you feel like "What the heck, am I the one it is okay to say that too, but you are too afraid to hurt someone else's feelings?" One thing I am not afraid of is being overly sensitive or having a heart, even though it seems popular for some to say they do not have a heart. I love that I am sensitive and I wear is proud, especially since so many have told me soon I will get over it. I try and realize people often say and do things that hurt my feelings, but I am trying not to take it personally because I am sure they do not mean it. This happens quite frequently in friendships that involve several women getting together.
For some reason in certain situations I have noticed I am the one people are not afraid to say or do something to, even if it hurts my feelings, because they do not want to hurt the other person's feelings. One time an acquaintance revealed she was jealous of how my hair was not overly curly like hers, and her friend scoffed and wondered why anyone would ever be jealous of me. That really made me feel like dirt, but I have just learned I am not one of those type of people that others are afraid of offending.
Well I know many people are offended on a daily basis, but it is situations such as these that have turned me into the introvert I am today. I still have a few friends, but my friendships are much different than they were in my teens to mid twenties. Back in the college days I use to have sleep overs with my friends and we used to do many social things together. I guess I always thought it would be that way, and I noticed often that I over extended myself to do things with them because I thought friendship was important.
As an adult I have learned that friends will usually not overextend themselves to spend time or do extra things with you when they are busy. It is ironic because many of the people that begged me to do things with them a few years ago when I was busy automatically turned me down a year or two ago when I suggested even going to lunch. They played the trump card of being "oh so busy," but interestingly some of these same ladies had begged me to drop things so I could hang out with them back in the day.
I was always more of the introverted type and never craved the club or bar scene, but I occasionally even miss these get together for coffee. The few friends that I have left live far away, but I know if they lived close by I might do things more often. If I really wanted to be more social I could volunteer or join a group, but honestly I think I like things this way.
So this makes me wonder: are there women in their thirties and beyond that have weekly get togethers with their girlfriends? I value my friends, but I really do not see my life ever being in that place again. I really am not sad about it because when I think about it often I suppress my desires when I got together with certain people. They would pick the restaurant and the movie, and I just knew deep down they would balk if I insisted. This has caused me to reexamine the type of friendships I acquire, and in the future I will just be more vocal about what I like.
However, I have learned to stray away from telling someone they hurt my feelings because a few people were defensive about it, but interestly I have noticed that others are not shy to reveal when their feelings are hurt. I truly believe some people in the world tend to be more disregarded when it comes to their personal feelings, and this may be a popularity thing. Who knows, but it is something I ponder once and awhile.
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