When Change Descends
When Change Descends
By Tony DeLorger © 2012
It is with regret I stand before my maker impaled upon my own blade,
beaten down by my hand and stricken silent though my own frivolous words.
It is with a deep and abiding sorrow I admit to being half what I first thought I was,
lost to my ineptitude and convinced of my own truth,
one that has been proven invalid.
For all my given talents and potential I have been left wanting,
a remnant of my grandiose illusion of success and accomplishment.
I am but a weary traveller convinced of being the pilot of my journey,
when in fact I am a passenger without harness or containment.
I am but the pawn of my dreams, like a dark and restless stallion,
without destination in a storm.
I have tossed and turned my life, not by choice but by response,
ever- following blind and unconsidered outcomes,
faith the nail in my coffin.
A testament to my worth is this very realisation,
this epiphany of lies that has up until now plagued my life,
sent me on tangents of discovery and penance.
How lowly I feel in the light of truth,
that irrefutable stark reality that all but blinds me with intensity.
Yet I shall not bleed, for that is the past and I, accepting change,
must acquire a new mind to adapt.
No more shall I wallow in doubts,
be deviated by the spite of others
nor accept anything less for the nourishment of my soul.
Here, before my maker, I pledge clarity of purpose,
fidelity of action and forgiveness of imperfection.
I stand in a clear light, unencumbered of past and open of heart,
to exact my life with all my intent in a positive and productive way.
In acceptance I relinquish all regret and realise my limitations are not conclusions
but possibilities to overcome.
From my own dark corners I pledge freedom,
to explore and make life as I will,
without prejudice or complacency.
Before my maker, I seek to forgive myself and to accept me as the potential that lives within.
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