When Confusion Is The Enemy

To A Friend In Need

What a wicked life I lead

If there are times that beg to be forgotten these are them

That come and cause disaster and problem after problem

I watch the list grow long of all my sorrows that add up

They take all my opportunities and turn them into mini disasters

They take all my hopes and make them potholes that I avoid at all costs

Because I can't take the pain

I don't want to be frustrated and put down again

I have taken a beating and each time I think it can't get worse

I was wrong again and all my efforts seem to be useless

I need help and without it I am in an endless spiral spinning out of control

I can't see any answers and the sudden impact on my finacial situation has been bleak

My love life shot and once was is now just water under the bridge

I have medical issues that are always pending

I have a number of health concerns that are not going away and have recently jumped beyond my control

I am only one person

I can not take this all in

Each day is an endless list of chores that add to the burden

Complicating my already unfortunate situation

Pity is me

I have got myself in this mess

Now how do I find my way out

One step at a time

Not all is lost

Not all is going to change in a short time

It is time to pay the piper and be done with it

The past has been filled with many memories

Not all bad

You want to bring back the worst so that you can slump into your sadness

To support your grief and helpless cause

Snap out of it

There are so many who have been where you are now

They have come back to live a happy life

From the day they decided no more

I will not become a victim

I will become a gadiator who can fight my troubled times away

With every ounce of energy that I have

I will stand tall and take everything you unleash

I am ready for a world that I can welcome with open arms

But for now I have to fight to see this day move to the next

It is not easy and each hour I am put through so many tests

I have an abundance of courage that I would like to share

I am struggling but now I know why

So that I can survive

To tell my story to others who don't believe

How hard life can be when you make the wrong choices again and again

Many of my problems I did create

I am the only one to blame

I will not let my desires disappear

I will not let fear turn to outrage

I will not let others see only my weaknesses

i am better than that

I move and continue to make a little progress

Some things that seemed bad are not that bad after all

They are far from happy but I know the difference

So I can push on to come closer to the land of possibilities

I will refocus and accept where I am now

Concentrate on what makes me special

Never stop trying no matter what results I see

For I am the Will in willpower

I know in time things will change

Everything always does

I will then look back and see how far I have come

Only to give myself a pat on the back

When everyone else was to busy to notice

I have dug myself in a hole I couldn't get out

I turned irrational to reason

I took those butterflies that were making me sick

I turned them into apple sauce

Smooth and delicious

I can not say much more

Since I am just beginning to open up new doors

I know freedom and the zest for life is just around the corner

I am not sure how I am going to get there

But the progress will be swell

I will put my good thoughts into motion

So I can see my own chart of beyond and above satisfactory

One that goes off the charts for enthusiasm

This is my guide to life and all my choices

It doesn't help me now ?

Now does it ?

It won't change my situation anytime soon ?

It gives me good perspective on my life

To enter into a world that I can change

That will bring about my progress and satisfacion that I am proud of

 In the future and my outcome will be mine

Comments 10 comments

Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota

Good job writing it down so that it can help you heal in some way. Things do get better and you can do it. Thanks for sharing your process with us. God Bless:)


Darlene Sabella profile image

Darlene Sabella 5 years ago from Hello, my name is Toast and Jam, I live in the forest with my dog named Sam ...

Yes, great job, this is an excellent hub, however sometimes it helps to write about things that happen, you can put it in writing to help others then send it away, and time to move forward, fight if we must or write if we must, I am happy today, but I was not happy yesterday, life is a challange to all of us I must say, but yes we much move forward and learn by that mistake and never do it again. Love & peace darski rate you up up


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 5 years ago from Great Britain

´ O Dream On., can´t bear the thought of you being unhappy in any way. One day at a time . keep thinking positive. Love to you and the cats. xxx


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 5 years ago Author

Minnetonka Twin I talked to my cousin and he was having some issues.No matter what I said he didn't listen.So as I tried to stay positive the more negative he became.The only way I could understand his problems was to throw me in the mist of it.I had to be in the thick of it.I have to feel what he is feeling.I have to see what he is feeling.I tried to do it as if it was me.This is one time I am fine.I am just trying to understand the sadness and pain that he feels.Darlene Sabella I also believe in writing my troubles out but he would not listen.So I did a writing for my cousin.Some people don't want to change.I still don't understand why?Dim Flaxenwick I face other struggles but this one is not mine.I am relieved.I do have so many other thoughts on my mind.This one just came to me because I was trying to figure out a solution and I couldn't do it in my head.I may have these problems in the future then I will always use your good advice to help me.I am very grateful to have such wonderful caring friends.I write on and hope to find the secret of another day.Thanks everyone for your great support.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota

So glad it's not about you my friend. What a great and caring cousin you are. I will pray that your cousin works things out in his life. God bless you:)


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 5 years ago Author

Minnetonka Twin I am moved by your thoughts and prayers.I love to help people that want the help.But what about other people that don't help themselves.Do we just go on with our day and forget them.Do we pray for them in secrecy?Do we tell them how we feel and hopes that they will change?If I was down I would want someone to help me .When I grew up people just let people work things out for themselves and then they would say years later I knew you would find the way.I am puzzled.I don't have the right answers.All I can do is try and ask others for help.Why?


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota

Dream On-Why, because you are a loving and caring person and you are struggling watching your cousin suffer. It is tricky Dream On, knowing which is best. To confront or not to confront. I think there are situations that do merit getting involved and others that aren't. I wish it was cut and dry but unfortunately it isn't. I am a therapist by trade and can tell you that I still struggle with this issue in my own life. First off, you have to ask yourself if the person is asking for advice or help. Is this person in crisis and possibly in danger of hurting themselves or others. I don't care if someone I love gets mad at me for trying to make suggestions if I think their in crisis. I would rather them be mad at me for a while than lose them. It is always important to start the conversation with, "I am concerned about...and wanted to talk to you about it because I love you." This way they aren't as defensive and even in the yucky place their in, how can you be too ticked at someone saying they care. You can always send me emails and I am happy to talk further if necessary. In the meantime, I pray that you can live with some peace while your cousin is worrying you. God Bless You:)You have a heart of Gold.


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 5 years ago Author

Minnetonka Twin I have read your reply and I am carefully understanding what to do.I will let him know I am here for him and he has to pull himself together.I think he doesn't want to at this point.He maybe just wants to vent.So I listen and I will talk again tomorrow.I love your tips and advice.It is so nice that you took all the effort to reply.I am pleasantly and peacefully more at ease with your wonderful answer.Thanks a bunch.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota

You are so very welcome my friend. Anytime:) So glad your feeling better. Big smile on my face:)


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 5 years ago Author

Minnetonka Twin I forgot to mention I leave all my sadness behind.At least for now and I am trying to discover a life of prosperity that hides it's face from me.I always welcome it freely but something is missing.I think I have to learn more before I can understand what makes it so wonderful.The search is on.Thank you so much.

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