When You Raped Me

When you raped me~

It was not sexual in nature~

But still treatment in a violent way~

Still destructive~

In an abusive holding horrible stay!

Did you know how deep you hurt me? ~

Did you know I did not want to live on? ~

Did you know how much of me you depleted? ~

As you pillaged and plundered every aspect of my life wrong?


There was not just one of you~

Yet many from all angles~

I felt shackled~

Demeaned~

My very life in your hands~

My neck strung~

As my body dangled.

My head whirled at times~

I gasped for air within the struggle~

I fought till I could fight no more~

Till I in fetal position felt I lost the battle. ~

Finally my rescuers found me~

As they forcefully opened my door~

Finding my very being had atrophied~

Malnourished, thin, as I felt the world me deplored.

I was collected~

All of me~

I was swooped up~

By my loving parents you see.


I vowed now I was back in the womb~

That I would never venture out again~

Perchance I would meet a worse doom~

As I healed cleansing of acquaintances~

I kept few friends~

As I went back and forth from surviving and wasted.

Oh! How I prayed~

Kneeling on natures alter! ~

Oh! How I cried as I walked the Stations of the Cross! ~

Oh! How I delighted when I finally heard GOD’S WORD while~

Walking on the Labyrinth~

Giving me hope~

Feeling I had a rebirth!

I carried pictures of people who loved me~

On a clip board every where I went~

With the words of Philippians three~

Thirteen through fourteen~

As a constant reminder to me~

As I shrunken felt spent from thee.


For my troubled times of loss~

I read over and over again~

“Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended:

But this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of GOD in CHRIST JESUS.” Amen ~

I fought to make sure this~

Was not my very end! ~

Years passed with tears and prayers~

From endless loss~

Alone often I was~

Stressed to go on. ~

However slowly~

Every inch an effort~

Every minute a toil~

As I continued with great labor~

I saw the light at the end of the tunnel!

Oh! Yes! ~

I still feel the loss~

I still feel your evil doings~

Yet I block it out~

Over again~

I forgive~

I with the LORDS help~

I move on~

As I continue to now~

Truly live beyond!


By

Lisa J. Warner

AKA

Lisa Luv

CopyRight9/20/2013@LisaLuvLLC

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30 comments

Lisa Luv profile image

Lisa Luv 3 years ago from Conneticut, USA Author

Life Therapy~ Have you ever thought you reached your brink in life? Have you ever faced so much loss you barely could live on? This poem to me is about losses I have lived through and still battle deep inside. I hope some people can relate to this writing because not only is it a step in healing therapy for me, it might help others to know they are not alone, and it is worth struggling to go on.


ImKarn23 profile image

ImKarn23 3 years ago

O M G! Stunning. Breathtaking. Awe-inspiring. Sad. Inspiring.

And GORGEOUS!

I am so sorry for how hard life can be. Others actions that affect us forever and ever. How hard we need to work to stay balanced and count blessings.

Kinda speechless right now, Lisa.

sharing dear friend.


cleaner3 profile image

cleaner3 3 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

bravo ... struggles make us stronger .. I hope this poem is just a metaphor for your own struggles in life, here is to the strength the lord gave you enabling you to see that all can be overcome with faith.!


Lisa Luv profile image

Lisa Luv 3 years ago from Conneticut, USA Author

Yeah ~~It took me along time to write this because of the pain~ I still feel pain, but I deal with it as you have read. Thank you so very much ImKarn23. I certainly am touched by your comment...


Lisa Luv profile image

Lisa Luv 3 years ago from Conneticut, USA Author

cleaner3 Hopefully it made me wiser, but I still question that too?

There are some people and some circumstances that can take advantage of good hearted souls. Thank you so much for your wonderful comment!

Blessings!


Paul M Niro 3 years ago

wow that's pretty deep I watched the whole thing in my minds frightening !


Lisa Luv profile image

Lisa Luv 3 years ago from Conneticut, USA Author

It was certainly not fun going through it, and I still struggle with the pains of loss, and forgiveness....its all part of life... Thank You so much Paul M Niro! Have a happy weekend!


CrisSp profile image

CrisSp 3 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

Brilliant work of art in words and imagery. Pinning and sharing!

Love from the sky~


Levertis Steele profile image

Levertis Steele 3 years ago from Southern Clime

Lisa,

I am so happy that you "saw the light at the end of the tunnel." What strength and faith you gathered to go on! I wish you continued wellness and endurance.


CraftytotheCore profile image

CraftytotheCore 3 years ago

I love the pictures you put with your poetry. I think that writing is therapeutic and important to those who share in similar experiences to find a way to heal.


Sandy280 3 years ago

Lisa, what a sad, horrible story, but how strong the ending. Thanks for sharing this.


aviannovice profile image

aviannovice 3 years ago from Stillwater, OK

May your heart and inner being find the rest and solace that it truly deserves. Your art is both remarkable with a piece of you within. It was hard to share what you did, and that is your strength.


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 3 years ago from San Francisco

Thank you for this. It took me over 22 years to get past the nightmares of my obuse.


ytsenoh profile image

ytsenoh 3 years ago from Louisiana, Idaho, Kauai, Nebraska, South Dakota, Missouri

Dear Lisa, life sure does happen in ways we sometimes don't expect, nor ask for. Your writing here is certainly very touching and emotive. My thoughts go your way. We fall down, we get up. Your writing will help others get up too.


savvydating profile image

savvydating 3 years ago

A beautiful and compelling poem about the effects of toxic relationships. You were brave to use rape as an analogy of what happens when someone tries to suck the life out of you. I admire that you have come out the other side of this horrible situation with your faith and soul intact.

Excellent work... and I loved all of your pictures!


sasanka7 profile image

sasanka7 3 years ago from Calcutta, India

Very nicely described pains as well as hopes of life. Everybody on this earth being raped by some forms or other. I appreciate your feelings.

Thanks for sharing. Selection of related photos are nice and relevant. Voted up.


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 3 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Lisa this took my breath away what great writing here.. deep from your heart.. You are such a blessings I love how you write.. God bless you my friend

Debbie


DanaTeresa profile image

DanaTeresa 3 years ago from Ohio

a beautiful expression of pain and healing.... thank you for sharing.


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 3 years ago

Thank you for sharing this beautiful thought, even though it is a horrible experience. Leaning on God makes the healing complete.


btrbell profile image

btrbell 3 years ago from Mesa, AZ

Very, very beautiful, elequently stated, painfully raw and heartfelt. Uo, awesome, beautiful and pinned. Thank you so much for sharing this...


Rolly A Chabot profile image

Rolly A Chabot 3 years ago from Alberta Canada

Hi Lisa... Love is a sweet offering we have for each other. As I read these words this morning my eyes well up with tears over what you have endured. Can I apologies for the actions of other men, I am not certain but if I can please accept it from me. It is not the way life is meant to be.

You have shown your strength and your courage with Christ at your side and have grown into a flower of beauty. We are so blessed to see you bloom today...please understand you are loved my friend...

Many Hugs from Canada


rdsparrowriter profile image

rdsparrowriter 3 years ago

Encouraging and inspiring. Faith and hope in the Lord is never go to waste. 'You are beautifully and wonderfully created by the Heavenly Father and He delights in you no matter what you go through!'


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

A read which says so much about you Lisa. Your selflessness and beauty has carried you onwards and upwards./ Here's lots of hugs from Wales and I am sure this read will help so many others. voted up and shared my dear friend.

Eddy.


Lisa Luv profile image

Lisa Luv 3 years ago from Conneticut, USA Author

Dear

ImKarn23 , cleaner3 , CrisSp, Levertis Steele, CraftytotheCore, aviannovice, Mhatter99, ytsenoh , savvydating, Deborah Brooks, DanaTeresa, teaches12345, btrbell, Rolly A Chabot , rdsparrowriter, & Eiddwen

To you all

DEAR READERS & FRIENDS

I do not know where to begin?

I have never had such a great response to one of my writing before.

I believe I am speechless.

But here goes.

Thank you all so very much for reading, and giving your heartfelt comments.

You can not imagine how much I appreciate them.

May you all be greatly blessed!

Thank you again….

PURE LOVE TO ALL, Lisa


nighthag profile image

nighthag 3 years ago from Australia

I can only say how much I admire the strength it takes to not only move forward from such harrowing event, but to share not only your pain but the path of forgiveness and peace that you have discovered

Having lived through such an event I know how hard that can be, I wish you nothing but the best and it warms my heart to know you have found a new way to be...


Lisa Luv profile image

Lisa Luv 3 years ago from Conneticut, USA Author

Thank You nighthag.... I am so happy you had courage and strength also!

Wishing you a wonderful day!


Anna Haven profile image

Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

Lisa, I am sad to hear of the pain you have had to endure and I have so much admiration for your courage and your strength for moving on and trying to help others with your story.

Your words were so sad, but the ending was so full of hope and strength. You are an inspiration and a beautiful soul.


Lisa Luv profile image

Lisa Luv 3 years ago from Conneticut, USA Author

Awe Anna Haven..Thank You... I hope you have a peace filled night...


acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 3 years ago from Guildford

Gosh what heartache and pain you have had to endure. You are an inspiration to others and I am sure you are a much stronger person having lived through such a nightmare. Thank you for sharing, it couldn't have been easy for you.


Lisa Luv profile image

Lisa Luv 3 years ago from Conneticut, USA Author

No it wasn't easy.... still painful....acaetnna but I continue to endure... Thank you for reading and your heartfelt comment... HUGS...

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