Where are the Eggs?: And Other Stupid Questions

            I know that my husband is a brilliant man, but it never ceases to amaze me that sometimes he seems to not be able to function without me.  I know that he can because there is evidence.  There are people who knew him before we married and will swear that he was very productive.

 

            It did not surprise me though when, after staring intently into the refrigerator for quite some time, he asked, “Honey, where are the eggs?  I don’t see them.”  Huh!

 

            I know this may seem like a normal question with an obvious answer or maybe a rhetorical question.  However, I could not help it,

 

“They are on the top left shelf in the master bedroom closet behind my sewing kit, babe,” came out quickly in my usual sarcastic tone.  I am very happy that he did not look there because I may have had him committed.

 

            It led me to realize, based on so many conversations with married women, that some men actually lose their minds after they are married.  They lead independent lives before they are married; they just somehow, in a moment of “I do’s” lose their minds.  From what I understand, they know where their shoes are before they are married.    Probably the most provocative revelation is their ability to find things up until that moment.

 

            Since three of my children are boys, I decided to experiment and research this topic to ascertain exactly when this phenomenon begins in the male psyche.  Do they begin early on as soon as a woman enters their life?  Is there a male disorder that only occurs in the latter years at the onset of wedlock?  What is it that creates something within them wherein they allow a woman to displace their self-reliance?

 

            I secretly watched my boys (and my husband) at different times when they thought I was not around.  My boys found their shoes without any help at all.  In fact, they found their socks (amazingly they were in the same drawer that they have always been in).  They were able to do many things without any help from me.  Now, for the test.

 

            Later, when I came home, I realized very quickly that they were back to being helpless.  I am not complaining though.  As comical as it seems to me at times, boys need girls.  In the cosmic scheme of things, we are a perfect match whereby we give each other exactly what we need.  If I, and almost every woman in the world, were to be honest and admit it, I love being needed in any way by my men. 

 

            I would like to mention that my husband did eventually find the eggs.  Logic led him to realize that they were not in the master bedroom closet.  He was, after some time, able to surmise that if they were not in the refrigerator, we did not have any.  He began his quest only to soon find a treasure chest of eggs stacked in the coldest reaches of the local grocery store.  Imagine that.

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dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

It sounds to me that your husband has a lot on his mind. Believe or not, I understand/can rationalize with him, being that I am a man. Okay, either that or he is just lazy. He just doesn't want to waste the effort to look for things. I observed my brother-in-law very closely in this respect. I hope I cleared this up a bit and have consequently vindicated your husband's actions in a thoughtful way.

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