Which is Worse: Small Robots or Large Robots

Source

The Controversy

Investigative journalist, Ima Lyer, here with another burgeoning non-story. Tonight in Washington, D.C. a new debate rages over an old topic. Robots. When addressing the subject of robots, the controversy continues over which poses a greater hypothetical threat: large robots or small ones. And the debate is not exclusive to our nation's capital. Almost everyone across the country has an opinion about robots. To get to the bottom of this issue, research is required. Lacking that, however, conjecture will suffice.

Opinions Vary

When asked which is worse, a big robot or a small one, most people will answer that a big robot is much worse. However, there are a few thoughtful responders who believe the smaller a robot is, the greater its potential for harm. Irving Energizer said, "Just think, if robots were the size of viruses, they would be much more deadly because they would be harder to detect." Nasha Numbseeker disagrees. "Who could ever build robots that small? That's just ridiculous. Everyone knows big robots can step on houses and tear up electrical lines," she opines. However, Zxyq4487 said, "All robots are wonderful. Big and small. All robots are wonderful. Big and small. All robots are..."

When asked for comment on the subject, none of the politicians interviewed would go on the record. However, one Washington insider, on the condition of anonymity, did state, "Go away, you nutcase, before I call security."

Source

Clunky vs. Sleek

Surveys conducted by Nationwide Mortgage, Servicemaster, and Hot Pockets all indicate that most people prefer the old-fashioned clunky robots because they are less threatening. Only 23% prefer the sleeker android models, saying they look much more human. One can infer that at least 23% of those surveyed are prejudiced against robots that are obviously robots. This bias translates into roughly 17% who are psychologically unprepared to deal with robots that are either too big or too small. Robots that approximate the human size and form are more popular with those between the ages of twenty-one and thirty-five. Persons up to the age of twenty prefer large lumbering destructive robots, while those over the age of thirty-six like a robot that is no larger than the average footstool and programmed to deliver refreshments and give back massages. Robots themselves have no size preference, but an alarming 89% of robots interviewed do express a desire to increase the robot population within the next ten years.

Art Ifishul, Robot Expert
Art Ifishul, Robot Expert | Source

Robot Expert Comes Clean

I finally tracked down self-professed robot expert, Art Ifishul, who stated, "Stop asking me questions. Leave me alone. Why are you stalking me?" This illustrates the level of obfuscation rampant in the industry and explains why answers are so hard to come by. However, it clearly can be surmised from Mr. Ifishul's reaction that he is inclined toward overreaction, and therefore cannot be trusted as a source of accurate robot information. 

Conclusion

Chasing the truth about robots is a difficult process. As an unnamed source close to the situation said for the record, "These are not the kind of questions you should be asking. Now, be a dear and go get me a coffee with extra cream and one sugar. Thanks."

More on this story as it develops.

-Ima Lyer, Investigative Journalist

Poll

This type of robot should be taken seriously:

See results without voting

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Comments 16 comments

Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 5 years ago from On the edge

HA ha ha - very clever! I enjoyed this very much.


evvy_09 profile image

evvy_09 5 years ago from Athens, AL

I'm guessing at least 50 percent of those who took the poll are clearly robots trying to change the subject.


Karen Wodke profile image

Karen Wodke 5 years ago from Midwest Author

Thanks, Poohgranma! And Evvy, you are probably right about those surveys. Those robots, they're so tricky!


Scarlett My Dear profile image

Scarlett My Dear 5 years ago from Missouri

The entirety of, Ima Lyer's investigativeness just flew out the window, as I noticed Hot Pockets slopping up the rear of the surveyors list!

Entertaining to the last nut and bolt of Small vs. Large and Clunky vs. Sleek, Karen! Though, I wonder if perhaps Ima's calling would be better served on the topic of

~ "Why IS Aunt Esther NOT Coming to the family picnic this year?! Was it something I said?"

~Always a pleasure reading You!


Karen Wodke profile image

Karen Wodke 5 years ago from Midwest Author

Hey, Scarlett - why ISN'T Aunt Esther coming to the picnic? Do you know something I don't?

Thanks for your comments. But really...is Aunt Esther mad?


Scarlett My Dear profile image

Scarlett My Dear 5 years ago from Missouri

Isn't there always a mad Aunt Esther in the family?


Karen Wodke profile image

Karen Wodke 5 years ago from Midwest Author

Ah, so true, Scarlett.


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 5 years ago from Vermont, USA

There was a guy on television recently telling how soon there will be nanobots, microscopic little suckers, able to be injected into our bloodstreams to keep our arteries free of plaque and cholesterol build up.

What happens when the machines take over the world and all your bots decide to gather at a critical juncture and form a bot-clog traffic jam causing a robo-induced stroke?

This ain't happening with me...I won't even turn my back on the blender!

It ain't paranoia when they're really out to get ya'!

CP


Karen Wodke profile image

Karen Wodke 5 years ago from Midwest Author

I'm glad you can see past the superficial, CP. I don't trust my blender either. It eyes me when I walk into the kitchen.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

An unique hub whaich I thoroughly enjoyed.

I now look forward to reading many more of your hubs.

Take care

Eiddwen.


Karen Wodke profile image

Karen Wodke 5 years ago from Midwest Author

Thanks, Eiddwen!


Seeker7 profile image

Seeker7 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

This was brilliant and so funny!!! It's a while since I enjoyed a hub so much. Voted up + awesome!!!!


Karen Wodke profile image

Karen Wodke 5 years ago from Midwest Author

Thanks, Seeker7. Can I quote you about the brilliant thing?


visionandfocus profile image

visionandfocus 5 years ago from North York, Canada

LOL!! This was hilarious! Voted up! Since I'm paranoid, I voted for small robots (can hide easily). Actually, I have a robot at home for hoovering (Roomba), and even though I'm paranoid, I'll buy the next one as long as it'll do the dusting. ;)


Karen Wodke profile image

Karen Wodke 5 years ago from Midwest Author

Thanks visionandfocus! I don't have a robot yet. I'm a tad bit jealous.


bashu988 profile image

bashu988 5 years ago from chennai

Thanks karen,i dont know about robot but these information let me robot about little.The technology which has improved a lot&the difference between small robot or large robot is very informative.

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