Why Do I Feel Empty?

I'm with you... So why do I feel empty?

Everytime I talk to you,

I feel like I'm talking to the wall...

I might as well not be in a relationship at all.

You make me miss the relationship I once had,

Sometimes I feel lonely, empty, and sad...

*sigh....*

Everyday I have a question mark hubbering over my head...

Do you want this?

Is this it....?

Is this the person I want to grow old with? 

It's sad...

And to think about it all the time...

Makes me mad...

I wish I still had...

What I once had... 

The one I could be myself with...

And live my life with no regrets...

The one who loved everything about me...

Loved to see my smile,

It made his life worthwhile...

We shared a lot of everything...

With him...I could just be me!

Being with you makes me feel empty & blue...

But I keep telling myself,

I can't give up on you...

Why...?

*sigh*

Why..?

*sigh*

Why can't I have the man I fell inlove with?

He made me happy...

And yet, I am the one who gave up on him...

To try to make things work with you...

You don't deserve me!

After all the emptiness that you've put me through...

I'm still here...

Living this life with you...

Things are better now,

But my feelings still haven't change...

I got my walls up with you,

And my walls will remain in place...

You are a good man in your own way,

Sometimes things were meant to happen differently...

Maybe your time here on earth... Just ain't with me....

Written by: Jlono

Comments 13 comments

Cheeky Girl profile image

Cheeky Girl 3 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

I am amazed at how beautifully you told this in written form, and yet feel so emptied by the experience. Cathy (Astra) is a wise young owl, and trust her heart. I agree with her. It is nourishment we all want, and not punishment.

We all have to measure the words actions and intentions of the person we want to spend the rest of our life with. Choosing a life partner or just a partner ought to be taken slow and careful. Do what feels right.


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

wow how many times have I felt like that? you are an awesome poetess.

debbie


LanaLu profile image

LanaLu 5 years ago from New York

Love the hub... great job


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

hey, Romancer, I loved this hub--every word spoke to ME because even when I am surrounded with caring, Christian people, that I KNOW love me, I am still drifting in 'that' darkness that only people who feel empty can feel. In short, I have learned to live with it, but hubs like this one, picks up my spirit. Thanks.


sassyk73 profile image

sassyk73 5 years ago from Milwaukee, WI

Romancer...all I have to say is that we have so much in common. I know that empty feeling. You are a very beautiful woman inside and out. You are so deserving of happiness. You will find that happiness.

Your writing is so beautiful. I love the way you express your feelings. You are a very sensitive and powerful woman. I enjoy reading all of your work.

Keep your head up and don't let NOBODY steal your joy.

Plus you are going to have to keep your energy for all of those book signings and photo shoots for your book covers. You will also have to help me with your fan club. I am a Romancer fan for life ;)


Astra Nomik profile image

Astra Nomik 5 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

Rena, I hope you are okay. Yes, everyone needs nurturing. And if we ask life a simple a question, we are deserving a simple answer. Even "any" answer is better than "no" answer. But some people are afraid of love or commitment. And some are just stringing us along.

If the person would die for you or travel across any immeasurable distance just to be with us, or stay up all night just to make time for even a short 5 minute call for us, because they know how important it is to us...those little things are love times a hundred to me. And everyone has the power and ability to do that...

Oh thank you for the fan mail. You are so sweet. (Hugs for this...) Oh don't worry about the email, not everyone's accounts are the same. People are changing over to sub domains on the Hubs. I will be following, I don't think we have a choice with them.

I know its meaning too well, because I have felt it many times in the past. Rena. But you are not keeping the feelings inside. Don't lock them away because it's not good. Let them out. Your feelings have a strong voice. And I will always read your hubs and be a fan of your amazing writing. Don't let things weigh you down. You are better than that, Rena.

You are a wonderful person too, cos anyone who writes like you just has to be. :)


daryl2007 profile image

daryl2007 5 years ago

I am also empty...if you are loveless then you are empty...

http://worldwar42.blogspot.com


ROMANCER OF LIFE profile image

ROMANCER OF LIFE 5 years ago from Honolulu, Hawaii Author

No... Thank you Cathy for being such a wonderful and caring spirit!

I'm very happy that you found someone who nurtures your every need. I wouldn't want you to wither away... no one should be left to wither away. We all need to be nurtured.

Thank you for trying to email me from hubpages, I'm not sure how to do so myself. *laugh* So I guess that makes me techincally inept too...! *smile* That's okay, the thought was there and I truly appreciate your kindness.

Isolated is a word that stands true to it's meaning, especially; when in my situation. I do... at times feel isolated. A harsh word... only to those who are guilty of it. Don't be sorry for using such a word. It's the correct word to use and it is how I feel.

Thank you so much for... everything!

I'm going to try to see if I can email you from hubpages. So be on a lookout for my email. Thank you for offering yourself and your time to me. You are a wonderful person!

Have a beautiful day Cathy... Be blessed!

~ Romancer~


Astra Nomik profile image

Astra Nomik 5 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

Thank you Rena. Yes, it is nourishment and nurturing that we thrive on. I know it certainly worked for me, or I would have withered long ago.

I just tried emailing you from Hubs but I don't know how to do it. LOL. I am technically inept. But if you ever want to email me, feel free. No one should have to be so...um... isolated. (Sorry for using that word.)

Have a sweet day, Rena.


ROMANCER OF LIFE profile image

ROMANCER OF LIFE 5 years ago from Honolulu, Hawaii Author

That's a great way of putting it "Astra Nomik!" So true.

Like a potted flower... if you nurture that flower it will blossom, if you neglect that flower it will sit and wither away... I feel like that cup, or that flower.

I just really miss having that companionship, that... person you can sit and talk to. *sigh...*

Thank you Astra Nomik! You are truly a blessed and beautiful writer too. Thank you for visiting me. I hope you have a blessed day!

~ Romancer~


ROMANCER OF LIFE profile image

ROMANCER OF LIFE 5 years ago from Honolulu, Hawaii Author

Thank you so much Christopher... For the kind words that you share with me all the time, Not just on this hub, but on every hub of mine that you visit. I appreciate your gratitude my dear friend. Hope to see that you've visit me again... :D

Have a beautiful day!

~ Romancer~


Astra Nomik profile image

Astra Nomik 5 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

I discovered love is like a cup that has to be filled. Like a drink that if filled, we drink from it and it makes us feel loved, cared for and nourished. If it lies empty, it says a lot about how we are treated...and I wish that cup could fill up for you. We are all carrying that cup, and I feel bad for someone who deserves to have their cup fill up but doesn't. Those words "lonely" "empty" and "sad" are words no woman should feel.

How is this guy so blind to you? I don't understand. But you are so incredible at being able to articulate these feelings here and also brave to say these things too. I think love is always a risk we take...I hope you find that love, Rena. Every person deserves this. And you do too, you are wonderful writer. Bless you. :)


Christopher Dapo profile image

Christopher Dapo 5 years ago from Havelock, NC

My, my... so far away, yet this hits so close to home. My deepest gratitude to you, my friend, and a prayer that your skies fade from blue to brilliant as well.

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