Why We Need Rednecks

We all like to make fun of rednecks from time to time. Whether it be their clothes, the things they say, or their truck, complete with the stickers of cartoons peeing on numbers. At times they make it too easy not to. It seems that even rednecks make fun of rednecks.

We try not to stare, after all, looking at redneck for more than a couple of seconds is begging for trouble, unless you're a lady, then you're just begging for something else. But rednecks do have their place in this world.

They do the dirty work, the things that need to be done yet most of us are not willing to do. Rednecks will not bite their tongue, and they are seldom politically correct, but for certain jobs it's best to look the other way and let them take care of business.

Taking care of business...

Animal Control – This isn't to say that everyone who hunts is a redneck. But we know that any self-respecting redneck hunts. If you're having issues with anything from deer eating your tomato plants or a raccoon raiding your garbage can at night, it may be time to call in that redneck uncle or cousin of yours to handle things. Usually for a twelve back of Budweiser, he can rid you of that problem quicker than you can say Git-R....see? Done.....just don't ask him how he did it, you may not want to know.

Service station repair –Once again, not all mechanics are rednecks, but rednecks love nothing more than to tinker with their camaros on the weekends. And many times we need them. Let me explain. You're having a little car trouble, so you take it in for service. Of course it's going to cost you....way more than you want to pay. Enter Rusty, he tells you that he can fix that thing up on the side for less than half of what the mechanic will charge, just bring it to his house this weekend. Sure he will use duct tape and a metal coat hanger, but you'll be none the wiser, and save a little cash in the process.

Side Jobs – Any redneck with a push lawn mower and a rake considers himself an entrepreneur. Just be careful what questions you ask.

Do you have insurance?

Maam, I don't have a license, but I sure as hell drove over here didn't I?

The workforce isn't the only area that thrives from the redneck community. Many businesses rely on redneck support.

Wal-Mart – Most of us enjoy the great prices at Wal-Mart, but there's reason to believe, and I'm just judging by the t-shirts for sale, that Wal-Mart would be far less successful if it weren't for our crimson-necked friends.

The Waffle House - It's no secret that rednecks are fond of The Waffle House. Just check the jukebox.

NASCAR/Professional Wrestling/Monster Trucks – Many careers are at stake here. If nobody attends the races, the sport will cease to exist. NASCAR depends on its core fan base of rednecks to buy hideous bright colored t-shirts and hats. Ditto for professional wrestling. *Never under any circumstance tell a redneck that wrestling is fake, you don't want to go down that road.

And then there's the entertainment value of rednecks.

Great local news interviews – Where else are you going to find quality 6 o’clock news interviews if we don't find a good redneck to grant it? Subtitles are needed as he/she openly dares any suspects at large to show their face around these parts again.

Cops – Everyone enjoys watching Cops every now and then. Without rednecks, who are they going to pull out of the trailer wearing only cut off jeans? Sure, there will be many other groups to profile but I like a little diversity in my life.

Jokes– We've all had a good laugh at a redneck’s expense. As a matter of fact, Jeff Foxworthy had made a career out of it. On second thought, maybe that’s for the case against rednecks.

The Darwin awards – We would likely see a sharp decline in Darwin award recipients without our beloved rednecks. Trying to clean a shotgun? Be sure that it’s loaded first!

Whitetrashrepairs.com – A go to website for all things red. The ingenuity on this site is astonishing. From shopping cart grills, to toilet mailboxes, Rusty and his ilk are sure to amaze with their handy engineering.

Rednecks are people just like everyone else, only dressed worse. But without them the world would be a different place, I know the south would. So the next time you see that jacked-up truck parked across the street from your house, with the hunting dogs in the back and the confederate flag sticker hanging on to the rusted bumper, rest assured that raccoon problem is being taken care of.

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Comments 23 comments

billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

Pete, this is hilarious! Easily, in my opinion, your funniest hub to date. I am all by myself and I'm laughing so loud the dogs think I'm going crazy. Very well done my friend....great fun!


petenali profile image

petenali 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Great hub! Totally agree with you on this one. A mouthful of teeth is over-rated anyway. Of course Rednecks aren't the only people group we cannot do without, but that's a subject for another day...


carol7777 profile image

carol7777 4 years ago from Arizona

Very funny. I always like a good chuckle. Arizona has its share of rednecks.


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

Good to hear billybuc, glad you enjoyed it!

Thanks petenali, and you're right, we may have our differences but we all contribute!


kelleyward 4 years ago

This is so funny!!! I'm sharing this in Twitter. Voted up. Kelley


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

Pretty funny stuff, weestro, but I have one correction, as I am married to a redneck cowboy and come from good, strong white trash stock;

1. Rednecks would be found working on their monster trucks.

2. White trash would be found working on their cameros - in the trailer park.

(IF you have any doubt, check out my cousin's book 'White Trash Princess' by Molly Price - not promoting her, just sayin') VUM!


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

Thanks for reading and sharing Kelley!

Ahhh, got it TT, what about a jacked up camaro? Will check out the book!


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

Weestro, YES! A jacked up camaro would do it. :) "Go big or go home!" :)


KathyH profile image

KathyH 4 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

Scuse me? I like Waffle House, and I'm not... oh crap. I almost got us thrown out of Waffle House once... ok, I guess I are one! Hilarious hub! :) Voted up and... where's the "edukashinel" button on here?


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

Sounds like a plan TToombs!

Kathy, our Waffle House has the wood paneling on the inside, I don't think it's been remodled since the late seventies. Not counting the replacement glass after the fights. Thanks for reading....and for the edukashinel vote...LOL!


shiningirisheyes profile image

shiningirisheyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

Absolutely one of your best yet!! So many hysterically funny lines and no one more funnier than the other.

I do enjoy the term "crimsoned neck" - very original.

Thanks for the many laughs


Julie DeNeen profile image

Julie DeNeen 4 years ago from Clinton CT

LOL...this was hysterical! Thanks for the laugh :)


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

Glady you enjoyed it Julie, Thanks!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Oh crap, I'm leaving a very succinct comment (and a couple of vote ups) so I can follow that link about whitetrash repairs. I have a few modifications that I want to do to the old double wide. ttfn


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

That site is great Austinstar, enjoy!


Lovelovemeloveme profile image

Lovelovemeloveme 4 years ago from Cindee's Land

Laugh out loud.


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

Thanks, glad you liked it!


Lovelovemeloveme profile image

Lovelovemeloveme 4 years ago from Cindee's Land

I did i did! Such an elaboration on how much we need red necks in society. love it! lol


Lovelovemeloveme profile image

Lovelovemeloveme 4 years ago from Cindee's Land

very clever


GlstngRosePetals profile image

GlstngRosePetals 4 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

This is just to funny. Truth hurts. Great hub! Voted up !!


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

Thanks Glsting! I appreciate it.


wilderness profile image

wilderness 4 years ago from Boise, Idaho

Thank you, from the bottom of my redneck heart (or beer can, as may be). It's nice to have our value recognized.

Good hub, weesro - thanks for the chuckle.


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

No sweat wilderness, thank you for all you do....and the way you do it!

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